


Not the same girl

by Emmaficready



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Coercion, Disfigurement, F/M, Gang Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Sexual Coercion, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-30 06:37:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 73
Words: 138,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmaficready/pseuds/Emmaficready
Summary: The silent girl that returned was not the same as the one who had left, any idiot could see that and Severus Snape was no idiot.(Any NonCon is NOT SS/HG)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN:/ This SS/HG story is set after the End of OOTP and goes from there, see the summary for warnings
> 
> SPecific warnings will be Posted at the head of relevant chapters
> 
> there will be non/con in this but not SS/HG .
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing!

The silent girl that returned was not the same as the one who had left, any idiot could see that and Severus Snape was no idiot , the same could not be said however for another member of staff that clucked around her like a mother hen.

He regarded the girl quietly , as she recoiled from the touch of her head of house who had attempted to wrap her in a motherly embrace when she entered the main doors of the castle , despite being flanked by two aurors, one of whom Severus recognised as one of the dark lords newest recruits.

Keeping his silence he watched the aurors remove the magic suppression cuffs from her wrists and saw her flinch once again when said auror grabbed her arm to do so , her whole body trembling like a colt ready to bolt , though she didn't outwardly react as the cuffs were removed , didn't speak or move or even attempt to raise her gaze from the floor where it had been fixated since she arrived , though all he could see was her bushy mane, more of a rats nest than usual ,the master legillimens could feel the fear coming off her in waves, it was a palpable thing almost tangible in the air around him and it made his stomach roll for her .

Despite outward appearances he did not detest her, in fact he had admired her from afar for her intelligence and loyalty ,especially as she had matured into a poised young woman and grown out of the hand waving though he was not the type of man to sing the praises of any student , it had pained him to be unable to offer credit where it was due , in nearly two decades of teaching a castle full of dunderheads, her sharp intelligence was breath of fresh air in an otherwise stagnant dungeon, to have a student worth teaching was a welcome change for a man such as him that praised it above all else.

Another thing he had noted was she never followed with her peers in insulting him, she always seemed to hold him in the highest respect offered from one scholar to another, in fact he had noted with a small amount of pleasure her constant defence of him to the others and refusal to partake in the insults about his person that all her classmates banded about, even her wit was almost a match for his though with his precarious position , he was unable to be open about any of this.

The aurors left quickly , claiming paperwork that needed to be attended to , one could not meet Severus's eye as he turned tail and fled , no doubt ashamed at the state of the girl in his charge that he was returning , while the familiar man had the audacity to aim a smug wink at him as he left.

Her sneered in disdain at the man's back as he turned away , while his stomach rolled at the though of what was yet to come. It seems the dark lord already had more players in place within the ministry than he had originally anticipated, this unnerved him greatly as the dark lord was not someone that should be underestimated and did not bode well for the future.

There was a strange silence in the entry hall as the assembled staff waited for the girl to make a move , or acknowledge her head of house or the headmaster who stood solemnly beside her and had yet to speak.

A few more moments passed and it became clear to Severus that this girl was not going to react or make the first move, this shivering and broken thing wearing a torn overall covered in accumulated grime, and other things he did not want to think about (and was pretty sure other staff had not even considered) was not the same Hermione Granger that all the other staff expected her to be.

Finally her head of house pulled herself out of her stupor and attempted to embrace her again , and freed from the magical suppression cuffs and the meat headed auror bodyguard, she reacted... though not in the way the other staff had expected.

With a whimper she threw herself backwards as quick as she was able away from her head of house until her back hit the wall behind her still not raising her eyes from the floor, he noted her movements were not as fluid as they should be and didn't want to dwell on what was causing her broken movements.

"Hermione..." McGonnagall said forlornly as the girl seemed to be attempting to blend into the wall and get as far from the approaching woman as possible and the other members of staff began whispering sadly to each other.

Realising this was going to get nowhere good fast , he approached from the shadows.

"If the fact that girl is trembling like a leaf isn't clear enough for you, let me make it so...I don't think Miss Granger appreciates your attempts to Mollycoddle her Minerva , nor do I think a hug from her head of house is going to make the girl feel better in this circumstance and I believe you should desist before you frighten her any further"

The girl in question froze at his voice , though still did not look up .

"But Severus..." "No Minerva, you are ill equipped to deal with this , your typical gryffindor actions and attitude are going to end up making things worse than they already are... and as for the rest of you shows over, do you not have jobs to do ?"

The assembled staff looked as if they were about to argue , but a murderous glare from him had them all dissipating pretty quickly until only himself , Minerva and the headmaster remained.

He turned to the two senior members of staff who were still staring balefully at the girl who was still frozen in place , though no longer trembling , he wondered if they even realised she was listening to every word , though how much she was actually taking in he was unsure.

"What are you suggesting Severus ?" Albus asked him , and he noted the ever present twinkle was missing as the headmaster stared at him he looked every one of his hundred plus years.

Instead of answering the headmaster he took a step forward until he was in front of the girl , though a few steps away . Even closer up she looked worse than he thought and he had to use all of his self control not to crinkle his lip at the smell coming off her, but he had still yet to see her face.

"Miss Granger , Please look at me so I may I speak to you" He was clear and firm with his wording though not harsh, he made it a request and not an order and he did not shout or put any undue inflection into his words and he waited for her to respond.

She had tensed when he first spoke but otherwise not reacted, and as a few moments past she seemed to take a few deep breaths as if to steel her nerves , and then raised her head slowly to his face. Though he held back any other outward reaction , he couldn't help a sharp inhale as two blackened and bruised amber eyes met his black ones.

A loud gasp from behind him came from her head of house "Merciful Merlin" , and upon hearing the expletive the girl once again dropped her gaze and backed up shivering.

Trying not to swear at the idiocy of the woman behind him , seemingly intent on undoing any and all progress he made, he turned his imploring gaze on Dumbledore who took the hint and ushered the woman out of the room until he was finally alone with the girl once again.

He stood silently and made no move to approach her and slowly her gaze returned to his.

he sighed gently as he eyes once again met his... "What am I going to do with you Miss Granger" he said softly , and cursed the other inept members of staff for leaving him the only one capable of picking up the pieces of this broken girl.

Typical of the dunderheaded staff to think that one like her could walk out of over a month long stint in azkaban the same girl she walked in.


	2. Chapter 2

Five Weeks Earlier - 2 Days after the Ministry Battle

Severus Snape was tired of foolish gryffindors getting themselves into trouble.

It was bad enough when they got themselves into trouble at school , let alone when they dragged others into it and away from the school where he couldn't protect them.

The sorting hat should have put the boy where it'd wanted to in Slytherin , oh yes he'd had a chuckle at that when the hat told him.. how much easier would his life have been if the boy was one of his snakes?

How much easier to protect and guide him if he had been one of his own, and the fact it would have had James Potter turning in his grave would just have been the icing on the cake. But no , the stupid Weasley oaf had to poison him against his house before they even got off the train, "Not a witch or wizard gone bad that wasn't in Slytherin" , seems the then convicted Sirius Black was forgotten in that statement , along with the subsequent second marauder that turned out to be the true culprit...Minerva's cubs both of them, but no... all the bad ones are from Slytherin.  
Besides , if the Potter brat had been in Slytherin , he would have never done something as foolish as to drag his friends into such an obvious trap at the ministry for the sake of that mangy curr.

This was how he found himself two days after the debacle at the ministry , getting ready to head back to Spinners end for the holidays when a knock sounded on his chamber door.

He strode to the door curious as to why she would be here , for he was certain it was her. All the other students and the majority of the staff had already gone home for the holidays , it was only himself , Poppy Pomfrey and the headmaster still in residence.  
Poppy would have floo called and Albus would have walked straight in , so there was no doubt in his mind that it was Miss Granger decorating his door step , she was the only student not yet to leave due to her stay in the infirmary whilst Poppy treated her injury gained from Dolohov.

It had angered him greatly to hear of her injury , the injustice of it all.  
The brat walks away unscathed from a situation entirely of his own doing, whilst the girl who wouldn't harm a fly (And would probably champion the rights of said fly) and who has spent most of her time trying to keep her friends out of trouble , both physical and academically , would from what Poppy alluded to... be permanently scarred.

He had little time for most of the Staff , aside from his dealings with Albus and the verbal thrust and parry he enjoyed with Minerva , but Poppy Pomfrey was a good sort , if altogether a little too Hufflepuff , but she was one of the few members of staff when he was a student that always had time for him, and her closely veiled fury at Albus when he had threatened Severus not to speak of the attempt on his life courtesy of Lupin via black, was gratifying. He recalled the conversation with her when Miss Granger was asleep in the infirmary and all of the other merry band of idiots had gone home.

Flashback

"The poor girl Severus , it just isn't right , she's barely of age"

"Of age Poppy? The girl just finished her 5th year, she must be 16 at the most ?"

"Not with the time-turner Minerva gave her in the 3rd year , the girl nearly worked herself into exhaustion Severus, I had to cut her off my supply of Pepper up as I was afraid she would become dependant on it , she ran herself ragged, Anyway Albus had her register her time turner use with the ministry to recognise her official age so that she can take apparition lessons early , No doubt with the goal of having her do more work for the order that old goat , with all the extra time she put in , repeating hours and days , she's nearly 18 already! , and regardless of her age , the curse was a nasty piece of work "

" I wasn't aware of it , but it does not surprise me in the least...another case of the headmaster's ..prejudice.. towards his own house , I notice the top achieving students from other houses were not offered the same opportunity ? I was not aware that Miss Granger's injury was so severe , the headmaster alluded it to be nothing serious , that she would recover"

"Nothing Serious ? Nimune's Nightgown Severus if it was any other student , or even order member for that matter she would have been dead ! I begged Albus to take her to St Mungos but he was too afraid of exposing the order and putting the school under scrutiny for how a student could get so injured under his watch , It was only her quick actions of silencing the man that diluted the strength of the spell , and even then I nearly overdosed her on blood replenishers , healing drafts and pain reliever and it took a good 6 hours of constant wand work to combat the curse , and the scar will remain! Miss Granger has never been a vain girl focused on appearance like many of her age , but she'll be left with a large, permanent and disfiguring scar , and it will be a huge knock to the self confidence of any young woman"

He was so furious he couldn't answer her , just inhale sharply , grind his teeth and silently Seethe at the headmaster and the boy-who-lived-to-endanger-all-those-around-him.

End Flashback

She was wearing a Baggy jumper and muggle jeans , and looked almost as pale as him.  
He noticed that she held her arms rather stiffly by her sides , and that the arms of her jumper went on past her hands. He recalled that though she was never one to push the limits of the uniform as many of the upper years were want to , had never shortened her skirt or tightened and lowered the bust on her blouse , she had never been this covered up either , seemingly trying to cover as much skin as possible.

"Miss Granger... to what do I owe this ... Pleasure ? "

To give her credit she did not flinch , but raised her chin and looked him in the eye before answering him.

"I wanted to...thank you Professor , and Apologise"

"Talk sense girl , though I have no doubt there are a number of things for you to be sorry for, for what do you have to thank me for ? "

She went to cross her arms across her chest as if to steel herself from his response , then winced and thought better of it .

The reminder of her injury brought guilt and shame to him and he took a deep breath before asking again more calmly.

"What for Miss Granger?"

"For being there, and for helping Professor. You tried to convince Harry not to leave , you didn't give him away to Umbridge , and you alerted the order and I'm guessing the Headmaster too as to where we were and why , if it wasn't for you... I don't know what would have happened , it made me think sir that whenever we get into trouble you've always been there and I don't think any of us have ever taken the time to thank you for it , so I wanted to apologise for that , to do what you have done takes a lot but to do it thanklessly too...Thank you sir" .

He remained silent and she seemed to lose her steam at his lack of response , gaining a little colour in her face in the form of a blush, then dropping her gaze as the silence stretched on without a response from him.

"Right.. I'll just go then... sorry for taking up your time sir"

She had turned to leave when he interrupted her.

"...Miss Granger ?"

She drew in a breath and then turned to face him.

" Madam Pomfrey said you received an injury that was rather more serious than I was lead to believe by the headmaster , I was wondering how much of that was factual and how much was.., hufflepuff theatrics?"

She tensed and looked away from him , she was silent for a few moments before answering him and when she did her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yes sir , Madam Pomfrey is not exaggerating ... I will be fine with some potions and rest and time but..."

Here she went silent

"But...?"

"I will...have a scar...Sir"

"This scar.. the thought of it bothers you ?"

Here he was quite impressed with her ability to multitask , as she both looked like she wanted to cry , and kill him at the same time , her nature won out though and she was unable to refuse a direct question from a teacher.

"Yes sir... for what it's worth , it bothers me... but there is nothing I can do"

He appraised her silently , she looked miserable and it pained him that he had caused that , but he had to be certain before he approached her.

"Come with me Miss Granger"

He turned and entered his quarters , and she too shocked to do otherwise, followed him.

He reached his bureau and Pulled out a small glass jar and handed it to her, she looked at it in confusion , and then looked at him.

"Sir..?"

"This is an experimental skin balm of my own creation , it will help to fade scars caused by dark magic , I cannot promise it will remove it completely but it should help reduce it... I assume that the scar is unable to be covered by a glamour?"

"No sir... Madam Pomfrey tried and I did aswell , the glamour wouldn't take"

"This balm should reduce the residual dark magic in the injury enough for it to be covered by a glamour , but it must be used daily until the wound is healed"

"Thank you sir... I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this..."

Here she paused for a second and bit her lip before continuing

"I don't want to be ungrateful sir... but the scar is quite large , and I don't think there will be enough of this salve here to last until it heals, would it be possible to get some more ? "

She bit her lip and looked away , at the same time holding tighter to the jar in her hands like it both held her salvation and that she feared it would be snatched from her grasp

"This salve.. though effective due to certain ingredients has a short shelf life, this was brewed this morning and as such should last approximately three weeks depending on how much of it you use , when you are near to the end , owl me and I will send you another jar"

"Thank you sir but I don't want to be an imposition on your time.."

"Nonsense girl , I do not make offers if I have no intention of fulfilling them , if it makes you feel any better then consider it an academic pursuit and make a diary for me of the efficiency of it for when I apply for the patent"

"Yes sir, thank you sir"

"Now Miss Granger...?"

"Yes Sir?"

"Leave."

When three weeks had gone by he got together the ingredients for the balm ready to make the next batch for Miss Granger , but her owl did not arrive.

Three and half weeks went by and he began to get annoyed, ungrateful chit doesn't even have the decency to respond to him after her provided her with his own personal supply of the balm.

Another few days and his anger left him and he began to get concerned , if it was anyone else he would shrug it off as the usual ignorance of youth but Miss Granger had always been polite and courteous and he could not imagine her being so rude as to snub him after he went out of his way to help her.

He sent an owl to the girl asking if she yet required any more of the balm , maybe her scar was not as large as she and poppy had made it out to be and she had plenty of the balm left ? Even so , it had been 3 and a half weeks since he saw her last and the balm would not be as effective now.

When his owl returned the next day with the letter unopened the concern gave way to full on worry , and he began to make a few calls.

He started by floo calling Poppy to see if the girl had mistaken his instructions and contacted the mediwitch for a refill instead of him , it was doubtful given the girl's near perfect recall , and it proved to be unfounded when Poppy Confirmed that she had not heard from her since she left Hogwarts , he then contacted Minerva to see if she had heard from her , the girl was known to be one of the old tabby cats favourite cubs and she often corresponded with her throughout the holidays , but Minerva too had not heard from her , she had found it unusual but after everything that had gone on at the Ministry thought the girl might just want some distance.

Near frantic now , and with a sick feeling in his stomach he floo called Albus , who shrugged off his concerns but agreed at Severus's vehemence to contact the grangers and find out what was going on.

He paced his living room as he awaited news from Dumbledore , he was aware that he was sweating out of fear and his stomach and legs felt like he had just got off a broom after a 3 hour quidditch match.

When the floo suddenly flared to life and Albus's head came through he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Severus...I'm afraid we have a problem"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you hanging there!
> 
> Please Review , let me know what you like and what you don't
> 
> and where you'd like the story to go :)


	3. Chapter 3

"Severus...I'm afraid we have a problem"

Cont.

He stepped through the floo into the headmaster's office where Albus, Minerva and, he was surprised to note, Kingsley Shacklebolt were all seated and looking grave.

He wasn't sure what bothered him more, the lack of twinkle in the headmaster's gaze, or the fact that Minerva looked like she had been crying. To see the usually so Stoic Scot Head of Gryffindor in such a state, set his nerves on edge and his teeth to grating.

The fact that the Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt was there was not a good sign, and so many worse case scenarios were running through his head that a pounding Migraine was already threatening to start up.

No one said anything for a moment, and before he could pounce on the headmaster to just bloody get on with it , lest he carry on imaging the girl dead in a ditch somewhere, a loud sniff from Minerva broke the silence and the headmaster gave a resigned sigh.

"After I spoke to you Severus, I made a quick floo call to the Granger's residence to check in on Miss Granger, only to find her parents absolutely distraught and No Miss Granger"

He paused for a second and took a deep breath before continuing.

"It turns out that Aurors came for Miss Granger the day after she returned home from the school and remanded her into Ministry custody for questioning. According to her parents initially Miss Granger was going to go willingly, assuring her parents that it was a misunderstanding and would be sorted out quickly, however when she attempted to send a patronus to inform an order member of what was happening, she was disarmed and stunned and restrained with incarcerous, her parents who are of course both muggles were stunned when they attempted to intervene at this point.."

"Pray tell headmaster... why did her parents not inform us sooner of what was happening as Miss Granger has now been missing for 4 weeks..." He did not even attempt to hide the venom in his tone when addressing the headmaster.

Dumbledore had the grace to look slightly ashamed as he answered, he could not meet Severus' eye.

"Well... as I said Miss Grangers are both Muggles so they cannot send a patronus, Miss Granger's familiar is a cat and she does not possess an owl , so they were unable to send us an owl , and as Muggles they cannot access the floo network , leaving them no way of contacting us without Miss Granger's help."

Seething Severus hissed at the headmaster, "A point I have made to you a number of times of the years Albus, the last time when one of my half-blood snakes missed his own mother's death and subsequent funeral as his muggle father was unable to contact us to let him know of her passing, she'd been in the ground for two months before he found out she had died and yet you still fail to implement any means for muggle families to get in touch with us!"

"The school owls..." began Dumbledore

"Yes the school owls and any students owls are trained to wait for a response when sent to muggle parents but that does nothing for parents who need to contact the school without the students contacting them first , if that boy had not contacted his family for money for a Hogsmede trip it could have been another 2 months until the end of term that the boy found out about his mother's death! and now Miss Granger ? You did not think that the brightest witch of the age , the Muggleborn best friend of Harry Potter and her Muggle family might be in danger or become targets ? That her family may need to contact the school even in term time? And now the Girl is 3 weeks missing, likely dead, because her family were unable to tell us as soon as she was kidnapped?"

Adrenaline coursing through his veins, breath heaving, heart racing and cold sweat seeping into his bones making his fight or flight instinct kick in . He fought between flight, wanting to run , fly , dissaparate, get out of this room and away from these people and search for her or fight, grab his wand , his fists, his fucking teeth if he had to and beat the headmaster into a twinkling pulp.

Why her ? he did not wish any student to be taken , to be harmed , not even the Potter brat if he dared admit it to himself, but why her?  
Why the intelligent studious girl that made him think her generation was not a total loss ?  
Why the girl that made his job of keeping Potter alive that little bit easier by making him stop and think and try not rush into foolish decisions ?  
Why the only student in the school to show him respect and admiration as a tutor ? Why the girl who stood up for him in front of her friends and refused to allow them their mockery ?  
Why the only person in his miserable goddamn existence to see behind the mask and to thank him for what he had done. He didn't think anyone had thanked him in his life before , and with a lurch he realized his last words to her, when she was hurting and had come to see him. "Get out" he had told her , unable to stand her gratitude , uncomfortable with the unfamiliar ease in which she talked to him , like he was an equal and not something under her boot , like she could become someone to him if only he would let her , she would have accepted him as a friend , respected him and he could not stand it, he had to make her leave , lest he embarrass himself. "Leave" he'd said , and now he would likely never see her again and his heart, what was left of it ached for the loss until Dumbledore finally got up the courage to answer him.

"Severus... Miss Granger was not kidnapped..."

"Forgive me if I'm wrong Headmaster but you said two wizards stunned her and her parents , disarmed her , restrained her with incarcerous and apparated her away , at what point is that not tantamount to kidnap ?"

"Two AURORS Severus"

"For Merlin's Sake Albus don't tell my you believe that thestral Shit , any dimwit Death Eater can claim themselves an Auror , and I am surprised Miss Granger with her familiarity with the Weasley's would not be able to tell from her interactions with Arthur how to recognize official Ministry ID that real Aurors would posses"

"That's the thing Severus.." Said Kingsley as he spoke for the first time

"They did have official ministry ID because they ARE Aurors and were there on official ministry business , Miss Granger was wanted to be questioned on a charge from a ministry official on attempted bodily harm"

Severus glared incredulously at the Auror and waited for him to continue

"As Miss Granger is now legally in the eyes of the ministry an adult..." , here Kingsley and Severus both shot aggravated looks to the headmaster.

"...An attempt to injure another adult witch or wizard , let alone a ministry employee is taken very seriously , Miss Granger was brought to the Ministry for questioning and as she was unconscious at the time of arrival pensive memories were taken from the "Victim" which though highly irregular is not technically illegal, and with the statement from the Arresting Aurors that she had "raised her wand" and had to be restrained to be brought in was enough for a majority ruling of a closed wizengamot to give a guilty verdict..."

For the First time in his life he hoped that his gut feeling was wrong. At the same time he marveled that at the back of his throat was his breakfast, which had somehow managed to vacate his Stomach, that was currently located in his shoes. Every muscle in his body was tense to the point of pain, his skin was clammy with the cold sweat of pure fear that had been present since he arrived and the floor felt like it was moving, though he knew it was not.

"And where is Miss Granger Now ? "

It was the headmaster who answered him gravely with a sigh, though for longer than a moment, Severus wished he had not.

"Miss Granger is , and has been for the last 4 weeks , In Azkaban Prison"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hope that answers a few questions for you guys about where she's been and why
> 
> Please keep up with your reviews, it really motivates me to keep going with the story and fuels the creative fire.
> 
> Please let me know what you like , what you don't and what you'd like to see.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: / this is the last chapter set in the past. After this chapter we will finally catch up with where we left in chapter one.
> 
> I just wanted to note that though Harry and Ron will feature in this story, they are not going to play huge roles, the story will focus more on the interactions between Severus and Hermione.
> 
> Thank you for all your reviews , I will continue to try and answer any questions you pose in review.

Pain. Everywhere.

It was the first thing that he was aware of, that he could focus on, lest he really do some damage.

Pain in his mouth from grinding his teeth so hard he was pretty sure he'd chipped a tooth.

Pain in his hands, where his nails dig into his palms and his fingers cramped from having such a tight fist.

Pain burning in his lungs from denying them oxygen.

Pain in his head, behind his eyes and at his temples as a vicious headache gripped him like a vice.

Pain, unexplained in the gaping chasm where his heart should be.

Noise. The second thing he became aware of.

The hissing crackle of his uncontrolled magic as it swirled around him, the rising heat and faint smell of smoke that threatened to become fiendfire if not reined it.

The squeaking and metallic groans of the headmasters instruments as they threatened to break under the change in pressure from the magic swirling around him.

Then the voice of Albus Dumbledore cutting through the red haze in his vision.

"Severus, control yourself!"

Anger. Thick, heavy and hot, fuelling the accidental fiendfire and giving it enough of a focus on the one who dared speak his name to become corporeal, not flames yet, barely held back until he got the answer he needed, but smoke was forming around him with the threat of becoming more and the heat in the atmosphere was rising as Minerva and Kingsley both backed away from him.

"How dare you speak to me and ask me to control myself? You know Miss Granger is in Azkaban and yet here you sit having your little order tea party, when you should be navigating across the North Sea to bring the girl back while there is still something left of her…if there is something left of her ! "

"Severus we cannot just storm Azkaban…"

"Watch Me !"

He turned to leave , cloak billowing and made it to the door in three large strides before he was grabbed by Kingsley.

"Severus calm down man , Albus is right you cannot just storm Azkaban and as much as I would like to do that with you , as wrong and unfathomable as it is , in the eyes of the law Miss Granger was convicted and sentenced and to remove her from Azkaban would be breaking the law! If you took her she and you would have to go on the run, she would be and escaped convict just like Sirius was and you would be an accomplice. Imagine the Witchunt if the press got hold of it , you'd never be able to convince them of her innocence if we break her out , Harry Potter's friend an escaped convict ? They'd have a field day , we need to get her out I agree but we must do it the right way"

He took a deep breath and another, though not before shaking off Kingsley's hand.

He was right, he hated it but he was right. Her innocence, her reputation could never be brought into question, he would not have her future tarnished with a questionable past not unlike his own was. But still he was sick.

"We also cannot afford for you to lose your position Severus, and if you were seen to care for the girl then your role would be forfeit"

Albus added , as if the random snippets of information he gleaned from the ravings of a madman were more important than the life of the girl.

He sighed and answered Kingsley.

"I understand your concerns Kingsley but you have to understand mine , as of the two of us you only have experience of being on the right side of the bars of Azkaban , whereas I do not. I spent 7 days in Azkaban after the first war before I was cleared of charges , and Miss Granger has already surpassed my stay in triplicate , and I am afraid the longer she is in there , the less of her will come back and seeing as she's one of the only things that's kept the potter boy alive this long , the impact on the war could be crushing , no doubt this has all be planned by the dark lord to isolate Potter"

He hated to lie , he couldn't give a chuff the impact on Potter and the war, but he was thinking of the girl already 4 weeks into Azkaban , the place that literally drains your soul. He thought of Beautiful Bellatrix before and the thing that came back in her stead.

"Give me a weke Severus , 10 days at the most , let us get her out of there LEGALLY , so that she can continue to have a future without being tarnished with this for the rest of her life , I won't be able to get to Azkaban to her but all I need is to get Pensieve memories from other people involved and a plee hearing with the wizengamot…"

"The same wizengamot that sentenced her to Azkaban ? "

"It was a CLOSED wizengamot Severus, not a full chair , only selected members , Voldemort obviously has his people in place but so do we , we call for a plee, get evidence from the other students and have a closed wizengamot of our own and if we have to leak it to the press that Harry Potter's friend, who fought at the department of mysteries and the brightest witch of her age has been wrongly imprisoned then so be it , the ministry cannot afford to lose the opinion of the public and will soon turn when pressured"

It wasn't a sound plan, but it was all they had. He breathed out a deep breath again and the pressure around him equalised as the temperature dropped and the threat of the fiendfire flickered out .

"How did this even happen ?"

He sighed with a defeated tone

"Umbridge, that horrible toad woman , she pressed charges against Hermione for the incident in the forest" Minerva sniffed angrily

"No doubt the charges would have been quashed given the circumstances, but Voldemort most likely used the opportunity to have one of his Ministry plants have Miss Granger taken out of the game"

Albus had answered him and it only made him angrier, "Taken out of the game", like she was just another pawn in his chess game called the Greater Good.

"One week Severus , 10 days at the most I will get memories from the staff and students including her use of the dark magic blood quill , one week and she can put it all behind her."

As if it would be that easy , he looked around the room at the others, they all expected her to shrug this off , expected her to walk back out , wipe her hands and carry on being the golden girl of Gryffindor. How wrong they would be.

"No more than 10 days Kingsley , or I go in there and take her myself"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN:/ Please Review , they really keep me going !
> 
> What do you like , what don't you like and what would you like to see ?
> 
> Please note , starting from the next chapter the summary warnings will apply
> 
> If you're squeamish about any sort of trigger material , this won't be the fic for you.
> 
> There's going to be non/con , torture , drug abuse , self harm etc.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thanks for your reviews guys, please let me know what you think of it as it really motivates me to keep going.
> 
> WARNING - There will be graphic content and descriptions ahead.

_**AN: Thanks for your reviews guys, please let me know what you think of it as it really motivates me to keep going.** _

_**WARNING - There will be graphic content and descriptions ahead.** _

_Typical of the dunderheaded staff to think one like her could walk out of over a month long stint in Azkaban the same girl she walked in._

_Cont._

Now the other staff had finally left and stopped crowding the girl, she was at last meeting his eyes and acknowledging his presence… the best she could anyway with the two shiners she was sporting.

She would meet his eyes for a while though could not hold his gaze, she would look away after a few moments, only to bring her gaze back to him after a few seconds.

He took a step closer to her, she was trembling and it sickened him. Of all the students she'd never been afraid of him, wary of him yes, respectful… Definitely, But afraid? No.

Given the state of her, the bruises and injuries he could see, he was not surprised that she would be nervous of a much larger and physically stronger person towering over her. Formidable a witch as Miss Granger was, once her powers were taken away, as they were in Azkaban with the magic dampening cuffs, all you were left with was your physical strengths and (impressive right hook aside) Miss Granger was a slight and petite witch with very little in terms of actual physical strength.

He hoped it  _was_  his size and general overbearing presence that were making her tremble , at 6 foot 2 , he easily had a foot on her , and towered above the girl but he was afraid that it was simply the fact he was  _male_ that was causing her anxiety , and the thought turned his stomach.

" **Miss Granger…do you understand what I am saying to you?"**

She froze once more as she had the first time he'd spoken, she met his gaze for a few moments, looked away and then eventually nodded slightly.

" **Excellent. And do you recall who I am?"**

Her eyes met his once more , they seemed to narrow slightly almost as if she had thought to give him a scathing look then thought better of it. She looked away again and after a moment she nodded once more.

" **Very good. Then I am sure you will have no problems following simple instructions yes? I will not beat about the bush with you Miss Granger, I am aware of where you have been for the past 5 weeks, as are the other members of staff, your friends however will not find out until they return when school commences in a weeks' time, now I believe we need to address the injuries you have, would I be correct to assume that there are more injuries than what is visible?"**

This time she did not answer him and would not meet his gaze.

On top of the injuries she was sporting, the girl looked and smelled filthy and like she hadn't had a decent meal throughout her entire incarceration, though Severus was more concerned about her shivering and what seemed to be the shine of perspiration on her forehead , indicative of a fever maybe? … An infection perhaps, she was injured and not exactly clean so it was a definite possibility, she needed medical attention that much was certain.

He was worried about her mental state, she seemed to be in some sort of shock bordering on fugue state, he needed to try and keep her in the here and now, she was barely responsive and had not said a word to anyone yet, so he decided to keep engaging her, if she were to lose her mind over this, it would break him to see her become another Bellatrix.

" **Miss Granger… Look at me"**

A moment's hesitation and she met his gaze once more.

" **You need to go to the hospital wing and…"**

He broke off what he was saying when she reacted, she was suddenly shaking her head and backing away from him once again looking terrified.

Merlin's bollocks what had he said? Whereas she had seemed to accept his presence before, the girl was now practically climbing the walls in her haste to get away from him, what was she scared of? All he had said was…

" **The hospital wing? You don't wish to go to the hospital wing Miss Granger?"**

She shook her head desperately, tears in her eyes as she tried to back away from him, letting out a whimper of pain as she jarred one of her injuries in her haste.

At this rate the girl was going to hurt herself, or have a heart attack or quite possibly both.

He reached out to her with surface legillimency gently trying to gauge the surface of her mind for the reason for her fear, he did not want to delve into her mind as it would be an intrusion without her specific permission, so instead he scanned the surface trying to sense anything that would help him.

He was surprised at the level of fear he got from her, gut clenching, heart stopping, pants wetting fear all at the mention of the hospital wing. Could this be some leftover anxiety from the injury she sustained from Dolohov's curse? She certainly didn't look like she'd seen the inside of a hospital wing whilst in Azkaban , if the state of her injuries was anything to go by.

Sighing deeply he thought of how to proceed , he needed to treat her injuries but it was clear with the fear rolling off of her that taking her to the hospital wing would not be beneficial to her state of mind either… he had to find a way to get her trust back , she was breathing heavily from fear now and he needed to get her back.

" **OK…Miss Granger , we will leave the hospital wing for now , but we still need to heal your injuries"**

She relaxed slightly now, though was still more tense than before.

" **If I take you to your room in the tower , would you consent to Madam Pompfrey looking you over ?"**

Her eyes had snapped to him once again and the fear that was abating came back , and he cursed himself that he had somehow triggered some other fear with his words.

What was it this time? The tower? But Why ? Was she afraid of being around her friends

" **Did you understand me earlier when I said that your friends will not be returning for a week ? it is still not term time yet Miss Granger and as such Gryffindor tower is empty , you will have your own room in the tower and will not be bothered…"**

Shaking her head again and refusing to meet his gaze, still afraid.

So it wasn't the company she was worried about it was… Cursing himself ten times a fool he addressed her once more.

**"Miss Granger , is it the tower itself that bothers you , the fact that you do not wish to be up so high ?"**

Meeting his gaze she nodded slowly to him.

Of course she wouldn't want to be in a tower, not surprised that she was afraid of heights, they must have put her on the upper level of Azkaban , where he himself had spent a terrifying week, where the cells only had 3 walls and instead of a 4th wall they had an open side and large drop into the North Sea, no wonder she was afraid , those cells were a torment into themselves with no protection from the elements and the constant fear of falling off the side , what's more they were usually set aside for high level criminals like murderers and death eaters , why would she have been in an upper cell?

He hesitated before speaking to her again.

" **Would you feel more comfortable in my quarters in the dungeons Miss Granger? You have been there before remember, when you collected the salve for your wound"**

She seemed to consider what he was saying but was still unsure, then he had an idea.

" **Miss Granger , what If I were to give you an oath , that I mean you no harm , that I would not intentionally hurt you or do anything against your will , would that make you more comfortable so that I may continue to help you ? "**

Her gaze seemed to widen slightly as she took him in, she seemed reluctant to answer, and maybe worried it was a trick on his part.

" **I do believe I have told you once before, that I do not make offers if I have no intention of fulfilling them"**

A part of her seemed to relax at this and she nodded her head in acceptance.

" **We will seal the bond with a hand shake, have you performed a magic oath before ?"**

He held his hand out to her as she shook her head in the negative.

" **As I make my oath to you, you can be ensured of the sincerity of it as you will feel my magic meet yours."**

After a moment she tentatively reached her hand out to his , internally he fumed as he acknowledge that a number of her fingers were swollen and may likely be broken , she also had very deep bruises and cuts upon her wrists , she daren't meet his eye as she held his hand.

" **I Severus Tobias Snape do so solemnly swear that I mean no harm to Miss Hermione Granger, that my only wish is to help her, and that I will never intentionally cause her pain, suffering or do anything against her will, on my magic so mote it be"**

She gasped as the oath took hold, and he tensed as the  _strangely pleasant_  feeling of electrically charged pins and needles shot up his arm from his hand where it met hers.  _Odd...it never felt quite like that before_

She finally met his gaze properly and he offered her a very small though sad smile.

" **Ok ?"**  he asked her gently

Her whole body seemed to sag in relief , as she nodded again , he was glad she seemed to trust him fully but was still concerned why she would not speak to him.

A huge tension had seemed to lift from her when she was able to relax , it must have been a huge relief for her to not have to be on guard , to finally be around someone she could trust to keep her safe , and with one last deep breath she looked at him , before her eyes rolled back into her head and her legs gave way from underneath her and she collapsed into his arms.

**AN/ Finally we're back in the present and can get on with the story.**

**Please you guys leave reviews and let me know how I am doing, this is my first fic and I love to hear whatever you have to say, good or bad.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN/ Finally we're back in the present and can get on with the story.
> 
> Please you guys leave reviews and let me know how I am doing, this is my first fic and I love to hear whatever you have to say, good or bad.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN/ Thank you for all your reviews , I read them all and appreciate them so much
> 
> FrancineHibiscus you're right about Severus & PTSD and I hope to incorporate it into the story more at some point
> 
> Guest RE: Hermione's voice… good call , wait and see ;-)
> 
> NevermoreBlack – The skycells were the inspiration for my Azkaban cells , good spot :- )
> 
> From here on out in the story, thar be warnings ahead ! !

With one last deep breath she looked at him , before her eyes rolled back and she collapsed into his arms.

Cont.

Well…Fuck. He was not expecting that.  
He was for once grateful for the years of spying that meant his reflexes were as good as they were and that she ended up in his arms and not on the floor at his feet.  
Now the problem was, what to do now?

He was more concerned about her now that he had her in his arms, the girl had always been slight and he knew she had looked thin when she came through the doors , but now holding her he realised her weight loss over her incarceration was more dramatic than he had first thought.

But what to do with her? He needed to get her to his rooms but he was loathe to move her to a new place whilst she was unconscious as he was worried how she might react either waking up in his arms, or in a different place to where she feel.

Heaving a resigned sigh he realised with her current traumatised state he didn't have much of a choice, as he arranged her in his arms so that he was supporting her without restraining her and aimed a wandless rennervate towards her.

She awoke and he felt the panic in her at the sudden tension and the way she held her breath , as the trembling in her body increased.

"Miss Granger, remember where you are , who I am and the oath I have given you… I mean you no harm I assure you , you fainted and I caught you before you hit the floor , I have no other motives for holding you other than this. Now we need to get you to my rooms so that I can call Poppy to have a look at you…"

A few words into his declaration to her , he realised that he probably didn't need to , though he felt it best to be clear with her anyway, but as soon as her amber gaze met his black one she had relaxed instantly into his arms.

"I noticed that your injuries are causing you pain when you move Miss Granger.." She winced at this and looked away from him.

"…And as you are in my arms already , would you be amicable to being carried to my rooms ? It is a long walk from here to the dungeons and even if you were able to do so in your condition I do not think it will do you any good."

Her mouth moved slightly , as if she was about to bite her lip , an unconscious habit she had had for as long as he remembered , but he noticed with some concern that she had fought the instinct and stopped herself from doing so , again turning away from him before nodding her head.

"Is that a Yes Miss Granger, I have your consent to carry you to our destination ?"

He purposely worded his question that way, he wanted to be clear that she had a choice in this matter, and with the way certain words had been triggering dramatic negative responses from her , he wanted to make sure that he was certain of her responses.

Again she had winced violently at the word consent but again she had nodded to him in the affirmative.

At the moment she was simply supported on his chest , he needed to have a better hold on her if he was carrying her all the way to the dungeons.

"Miss Granger, I am going to move you slightly in my arms so that I may carry you best , I am going to put one arm under your legs , and the other at the bottom of your back , would you be able to put your arms around my neck for me…please?" The please was added as an afterthought , it was not a word he used often , but we wanted to do whatever her could to put her at ease.

She held her breath but nodded again to him , and again he was wondering at her non verbal answers, and made a note to himself to attempt to get to the bottom of it , she slowly raised her arms to put them around his neck , and he noted that she winced as she did so , the move had pained her he realised, and wondered too late how seriously she might be injured under all that grime.

Once he had her securely he rose to his feet , and felt her tighten her arms around him instinctively , only to whimper softly in pain as she did so , again the move had pained her , though now he knew she was capable of making sound and had not been somehow silenced.

He made his way to the dungeons with his precious cargo in his arms , and once again wondered what he was going to do. He was so far out of his depth he wondered if we would ever see dry land again. He had little experience dealing with women on a personal level , outside of the staff members and the female death eaters he experience with women was practically non-existent. Not to mention he had much more experience in healing his own injuries, than anyone elses.

He made it to this quarters and with a wordless spell and nudge of his foot , he got them both through the door , he sighed in relief as the familiar comforting feel of his wards filtered over him , the girl in his arms seemed to relax too , she must have been able to feel his wards also and had relaxed with the safe feeling that they provided.

The first thing he did after placing the girl down on the sofa was to summon Poppy via patronus to come and attend to Miss Granger, only to turn around to see the girl cowering at the farthest part of the sofa away from him. At first he cursed himself again as he wondered what he had done once more to frighten her, at first he thought it was simply using the magic in front of her that had her so spooked, but that could not be it… she had not reacted this way to the bond, or to his wandless spell to open the door and the wards…the…wandless. Wandless. All the magic he had done around her, or to her if he included is rennervate, had been wandless, but he had used a wand to conjure his patronus to call Poppy.

She was frozen in fear on the sofa eyes wide (as they could be) and fixed on his wand, breath coming in deep gulps and trembling like a dog. Slowly he put his wand away in the drawer of his bureau , it felt strange to not have his wand within arm's reach at all times , but he wanted her to relax and understand that he had no intention of using his wand against her.

She relaxed greatly when his wand was away and seemed to lose a lot of her fight, she was obviously exhausted and sank back a little into the sofa as he explained to her his actions.

"I apologise for casting without first informing you , I was only summoning Poppy to come and help us , I didn't mean to scare you little one."

Her eyes snapped to his and she seemed to relax even more when meeting his gaze , as though the simple act of meeting his eyes gave great comfort to her.  
Little one? Where had that come from ? He cursed himself a fool, he could not allow himself to become affectionate with her , though every instinct in his body screamed with the urge to protect this girl , to lock her away from others who don't care for or appreciate her , to wrap her in cotton wool and keep her for himself. Fool, the girl was traumatised and all he could think about was how he wanted the sweet young witch for himself.

There was a knock on his chamber door and the girl nearly jumped out her skin , he had been stood by her side as she sat on the sofa , and to his great surprise she had grabbed his coat and fearfully looked into his eyes. He met her eyes and placed his hand atop hers , taking it delicately in his aware of her injuries, whilst he carefully got her to let go of his coat.

"It's just Madam Pompfrey remember? Poppy? I have told you I sent for her yes ?"

She slowly took a few deep breaths in until she was able to relax slightly and then nodded to him.

He let go of her hand and moved with purpose to his door to let Poppy in .

"She's here Severus ?" she asked without hesitation as she stepped into the room.

"She is , she had no wise to partake in the tower , and was petrified when I mentioned the hospital wing and I must warn you Poppy Miss Granger is very fragile right now , be very careful of the words and motions you use around her , I have also discovered that she is terribly unnerved with wands being used around her , can you cast your diagnostics windlessly ?"

"I have no great power with wandless magic Severus, you know that it drains me terribly, but I am sure your skill would be adequate if I taught you wish diagnostics I required … is she… did they…?"

"She is filthy, thin, hurt and afraid Poppy and has yet to say a word to anyone, she nearly climbed the walls when Minerva went to hug her, in her haste to get away from her."

"Oh Severus… you don't think she was…"

He did think she was. He was fairly certain she had been , and was sick at the thought, but he did not wish to dwell on it lest he make himself nauseous.

"I do not wish to think of it, but considering her reactions I think you should prepare for the worst"

"That poor lamb…do you have the potions on hand Severus if…?"

"I do Poppy, I made a few batches in preparation for her return just in case"

He gestured for her to come in , and he led her into his living room where Hermione was seated on the sofa , she seemed tense again but relaxed marginally when he was in sight again.

Holding up a hand to the mediwitch behind him , he addressed her.

"I have Poppy here with me Miss Granger, she is going to assist me and we are going to check you over to see how badly you are hurt, is this agreeable to you ?"

She was trembling again , she wouldn't look at him and shook her head emphatically no at him.

He sighed and gestured for Poppy to take the chair furthest away from her , she nodded sadly as she looked forlornly at the broken girl on the sofa.  
He walked over to Hermione , and knelt on the floor in front of her, purposely making himself smaller than her , and less intimidating.

"Miss Granger, you are quite obviously injured and we need to check you over"

She was again shaking her head and refusing to meet his eyes, and he noted with dismay there were tears running silently down her face.

She was violently shaking now, and her breathing was erratic , he was concerned the girl would have a heart attack.

"Miss Granger… Miss Granger"

No answer just the tremors rocking her body , she did not pull away from him but she was shaking her head in vehement denial of his request.

"Hermione"

She stopped suddenly and her eyes widened slightly and snapped to his , he realised it was the first time in 6 years he had ever called her by her first name.

"I know you do not wish this , and I cannot blame you for that , but I would feel horrendously guilty If I were lax in my duty of care to you and did not help your injuries and your pain , if you will not do it for yourself, will you do it for me to ease my pain ?"

It was wrong to blackmail her so, to play on the emotions of the girl who championed everyone, but if it meant she would allow them to heal her, then so be it , he would serve penance later.  
She looked at him closely, looked to Poppy, then looked to him again , before finally giving a slight nod , even though tears were running down her face still.

Not wanting to waste any time , and give her any chance to changer her mind, Poppy took the que and moved her chair closer to severus, she moved her chair to his other side so that while she was next to him , she was not in front of Hermione , and Severus was grateful for her forethought not to make the girl feel trapped.

Tears were still running down the girls face, though she seemed to have accepted the need to heal her, there was something else in her expression…Shame? Why would she be ashamed.

"I think it's wise to start from the top and work our way down Severus , and I will take notes as you go along , it's best when we have a lot of injuries to keep a record of each one and any treatments so that we can make sure nothing gets overlooked"

He nodded to Poppy and the addressed Hermione , and he decided to address her as such as she had responded to it before.

"Hermione ? Is that Ok with you ? I am going to run diagnostics on your face and head to start, I will cast nothing other than diagnostic spells to determine your injuries, is this ok with you ?"

She looked miserable, ashamed and had tears down her face, but she nodded without meeting his gaze.

He sighed softly and raised his hand slowly and ran it around her head carefully, she had tensed but not moved at the feel of the magic radiating from his palm and he began to list injuries to Poppy for her to note down.

"Bruises to the back of skull but no fractures or bleeds…Both eyes swollen and bruised , eyes are both fine , but there's a hairline fracture to the cheek bone and the eye socket on the right hand side , nose has been broken and has partially healed on it's own, will need to be reset as it's not in line , lip is split and…"

Here he paused , and Hermione flinched her tremors increased dramatically and the quiet tears became full blown , shoulder shaking sobs, even as she made no sound other than the harsh breathing.

"Severus ?..."

"Poppy I do not…I don't…"   
He ran his hand over her again, as the girl sobbed and his stomach revolted.

"Poppy… I don't understand this reading from this side of her jaw … I think I am doing it wrong"  
He hoped he was doing it wrong , he prayed he was doing it wrong even as he knew he wasn't

Poppy came over carefully and copied the diagnostic on the right side, the girl too far gone in her anxiety to notice her approach.

After a moment she recoiled her hand as if burnt , she gasped and a sob left her lips as she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh …Severus ! Her teeth!"

"What about them ?"  
He asked even as fear punched him in the gut.

"Severus….They're gone"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN / Sorry guys, I warned you .
> 
> Please review , they make me so happy


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh Severus…Her teeth ! " "What about them ?" "Severus…They're gone" Cont. Gone. How could her teeth be gone? Just what the fuck happened to the girl!  
He was fuming, Poppy was crying and the girl was having a breakdown.

Get it together man, you're no good to anyone like this he thought to himself angrily, the girl was going through hell and he needed to focus. Hermione was sobbing, she brought her arms up to cover her face and pulled as much away from Poppy as she could in her injured state.

"Hermione Sweetheart… please.. let me have another look at you my girl"  
Poppy tried to approach her but the girl recoiled from her and only sobbed harder , shaking her head no.

"Severus… I need to read her better , can you try to… just try to calm her down a bit… I need to…I need..I have to read her again"

He moved closer to her, once again kneeling in front of her, and attempted to engage her but she was having none of it, shaking and crying and on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Hermione…sweetheart look at me"

No. No no no… head shaking, tears flowing and body trembling, he realised he was losing her, she was receding into herself and he couldn't have that, he understood the need to try and distance herself from the painful feeling, but she couldn't disassociate herself totally lest she break her mind.

"Hermione… little one…please"

Grief was coming off her in waves and when she raised her tearful gaze to meet him , her thoughts shattered and broke free and he cursed his natural skill at legillimency as he was unwillingly pulled into her hectic mind.

He was in Azkaban , seeing things through her minds eye, feeling her thoughts and her emotions on an endless loop.

She was so small , they're so much bigger than me, why am I so small… On my knees..Fear. Humiliation. No! I'm a Gryffindor! Fury! Anger! Then NO!.. Pain. Oh God PAIN..No!…More Fear..Please…No don't…Please…I want my Grandma..I want McGonagall Please..I'm so scared… I want to go home , I want Hogwarts Please…Pain…Shame..Shame..shame..

With a snap he forced himself out of her mind and he was back in his room staring into distraught tearful hazel eyes

Those Black eyes..safe…trust…keep me safe please…don't let him see..disgust..shame…shame.."I see no difference"

With a gasp he broke from her gaze and pulled her into his arms, propriety be damned, as she collapsed into him and sobbed into his chest clinging like a limpet, even though the move obviously pained her as he whole body jerked in discomfort , she obviously needed the contact from him.  
His heart breaking as he relived her emotional turmoil… guilt gnawing at his gut like a living thing. She was afraid and ashamed, not afraid of him that much was clear , for some odd reason she trusted him as much as she could trust any person , trusted him to keep her safe but she was afraid and ashamed and thought he would mock her… the incident with her teeth being played forefront in her mind and he loathed himself once more for being the utter bastard he was.

"Little one I'm sorry, I'm so sorry … I don't deserve your forgiveness but please let us help you"

"Severus..?" Poppy questioned him being unaware of what just happened.

He explained briefly to her what had happened while he held the sobbing girl to him, and more tears fell down the witches face.

"I need to see to her Severus"

He sighed and gently moved her tangled and matted hair where it had fallen to cover her face, in the confusion of being pulled into her mind and her resultant breakdown, he had ended up sat on the sofa with her tucked into his side, her holding onto his frock coat with a death grip as her face was buried into his chest.

"Hermione…please, let Poppy help you , I know it hurts and I know you're upset but I promise you , nothing that has happened is your fault , I am not angry with your , I do not blame you for anything nor will I mock you or think any less of you… my only wish is to help you get better, remember I promised you ?"

Her hands had gripped tighter to him as he spoke , but her sobs had slowed until her body stopped shaking and it was just tears coursing silently down her face one more.

An age seemed to pass and then she glanced up at him and met his eyes.

"I Promise" he said once more

She spared a glance at Poppy , then another at him , then tightened her hands in coat once more.

Understanding what she was trying to communicate to him, he addressed her.

"I will stay right here Hermione , I'm not going anywhere , I will stay right here with you the whole time , no matter what."

She gave a small miserable nod, Tensed her body and stared at his shirt , not wanting to acknowledge what was coming.

He breathed out a sigh of relief and gestured to Poppy to approach her again , she looked at her wand and then looked at him silently convening the question.  
She wanted to use her wand for a more in depth scan , but was afraid of Hermione's reaction.

Looking down on the girl in his arms who was staring morosely into his chest, he spoke to her softly

"Just keep your eyes on me little one… hold on to me and focus on my hearbeat and my breathing , try to relax , we're not going to do anything other than diagnostics without telling you… alright ?"

She held him tighter, her eyes unfocussed and simply nodded.

"Ok Hermione, I'm going to scan your face again lamb , I'm doing a more in depth scan on your mouth, so you might feel the magic… but I'm not going to do anything other than take readings ok"

She had tensed when poppy began to speak to her , but she had obviously listened as she gave a slight squeeze to him when she was done. He was concerned that all the fight seemed to have left her , as she stared blanky at nothing, but he nodded to Poppy that she had acquiesced to her request, and Poppy took a deep breath as she raised her wand and began to scan her mouth and jaw.

He watched as the mediwitch became paler and paler the more she ran he wand over the girls face

"Sev…Severus….can you… can you m-make her face me..P-please"

He did not like the sound of that. Poppy sounded totally unnerved , and coming from the woman that had patched him up a few times when he was too far gone to heal himself after a death eater meeting, that was saying something.

"Hermione, tilt your head just a little bit and look towards Poppy ok?"

There was a moment where they both waited, then the girl turned slightly to face the mediwitch , though her eyes were staring blankly and unfocussed at the ground.

Poppy took a deep breath and ran a scan again over the front of her jaw, after which she froze as though caught in headlights and prompty and suprisingly dropped her wand.

"Poppy… what!?"

But there was no answer, the woman had shot up off the floor and ran to the bathroom where the sound of retching was heard a moment later.

The girl in his arms slowly lowered her head back to his chest and closed her eyes.

He was sick with worry, he'd never seen the mediwitch act like this , she'd seem him totally helpless , when he was so far gone from cruciatus he was seizing and soiling himself and she'd never batted an eyelid.

He was torn , he wanted to go after Poppy , see if she was alright and find out what the hell was going on , but he'd promised the girl he'd stay with her , and if her current state of mind was anything to go by , the physical contact she had with him was the only thing keeping her tethered in this world and not on her way to a bed in the Janus Thackery Ward at St. Mungos alongside the Longbottoms.

He heard the tap running and the sound of water splashing and guessed she was washing her face.

She came in a moment later, looking pale and as if she had aged 5 years.

"Severus… I don't think I can do this"

"What are you talking about woman ? What's going on?"

"I'm a school mediwitch Severus , I'm out of my depth here… I deal with quidditch falls and potions accidents, and the occasional bite from a plant or creature… not this"

"I swear to Merlin Poppy if you don't tell me what's going on…"

"I'm not a trauma nurse… the girl should be in St Mungos…I can't… I don't"

"Sweet Circe Woman if I have to…"

She took a deep breath and looked at him sadly

"She's missing 6 teeth on her right side, upper and lower molars and premolars , from the fracture to the jaw and cheek it looks like she took a pretty hard punch , or several… and judging by the location and angle it was from someone left handed which is why the damage is mostly on the right hand side of her face"

He clenched is jaw and held the girl in his arms tighter to his chest.

"Judging by the damage to the gums and jaw, not all the teeth were knocked fully out, probably broken or damaged, but they were then pulled out… not vanished, if they were vanished with a spell as they should've been then there would be nothing of them left, but there are some fragments and root remaining, and judging by the scratches in the enamel on her other surrounding teeth and the strain in her jaw , her jaw was wrenched open and the broken teeth were removed with pliars of some sort , not dissimilar to how a muggle dentist might do it , only without the anesthetic and the pain relief… it would have been torturous Severus and no doubt still is, as where they've not been completely removed there are raw nerves exposed, to eat or drink or even breath through the mouth would be agony as air hits the raw nerve… a prolonged form of t-torture if ever I've s-seen o-one..and…and…"

What she was saying choked off in a sob and the mediwitch covered her eyes as her shoulders shook and her breath heaved.

Dreading what was to come , face ashen and holding the girl tightly to her chest as though to shield her from the world he looked to the distraught mediwitch.

"A-and what Poppy?"

" Oh..Oh merlin S-severus they cut out her tongue"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: / Too dark for you ? Sorry guys it's only going to get worse from here .
> 
> Your reviews are fueling the creative hell fires , please let me know what you think
> 
> I'd also love to receive your PM's with suggestions of what you'd like to see.
> 
> Remember guys this is going to get darker before it gets better
> 
> PLEASE REVIEW ! Loves Ya x


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh..merlin S-severus , they cut out her tongue"

Cont.

Gorge rose in his throat and he was highly tempted to do as Poppy had just done and spend the rest of the night praying to the porcelain gods , but once again it was the girl taking shelter in his arms and seemingly trying to burrow under his skin that held him back… but still the nausea rose.

Poppy had sat down and was softly crying , trying not to upset Hermione but unable to hold back her grief, whilst he felt the most disconcerting of sensations. It reminded him of being a child , standing on a beach with the sea moving towards you , but if you stood in just the right way , you fooled your brain into thinking that it was you that was moving towards the sea, rather than the sea moving towards you, that strange unfamiliar feeling of the ground rushing and moving beneath your feet.  
A cold and clammy sweat was working its way up his skin and making him shiver slightly , and he felt the need to ground himself and be certain that the girl was now safe in his arms , by holding her tightly too him.  
There was no doubt that he was holding her too tightly for comfort , his knuckles white as he grasped her to his side , no doubt he was hurting her… but he could not let go , and she didn't want him to.

He wanted to throw up , he wanted to get drunk or stoned, obliviate himself and take any mind numbing substance to wipe all traces of this from his mind , but he couldn't. All he could do was everything in his power to care for her now , to do what he could to heal her hurts and shield her from whatever wanted else wanted to destroy her.

He was 36… but felt he'd lived a lifetime in this war…He was too damn old for this shit.

Enough. This pity party for themselves could not go on… them; the softly weeping mediwitch and the outwardly stoic potions master who was breaking apart on the inside , while the truly broken girl took shelter in his arms from the world that sought to damage her so , he had to do what must be done.

"Poppy…we must continue, Hermione needs healing"

Then at her stricken look , a terrible thought came to him , that made the bile rise once more.

"You…That is to say, you are able to heal her Poppy ?"

"I..Severus I.."

"Poppy…gather your wits woman , compartmentalize ! We cannot afford to breakdown now , if you have to go back to the hospital tonight and play bleeding celestine warbeck all night whilst downing firewhiskey then do so AFTER we have done what we can for Miss Granger, we cannot be selfish now of all times and must put her needs first!"

The mediwitch took a shuddery breath before answering him.

"You're right Severus… of course you're right , I still wish the girl could go to Mungos though, I feel terribly out of my depth here"

"You have patched my injuries many a time Poppy and they were not mere quidditch scrapes, besides that's not a possibility for many reasons and you know that , it would be a media circus for one , Dumbledore would never allow it anyway and considering the difficulty we are having already I don't doubt if we took the girl to Mungos she'd never end up leaving , those bumbling idiots would traumatise the girl before shipping her off for the janus thackery staff to deal with."

Severus didn't interrupt as the mediwitch rose from her seat , straightened her uniform and hat , and brushed away any imagined dirt , it was obviously some routine or tactic to prepare herself mentally for what was to come , even though when she smoothed an imagined wrinkle from her robe for the 3rd time it took the greater part of his self control not to tell the woman to stop fiddling and just get on with it!

"The question now is where do we go from here ? Do we continue with the assessment , or do we attempt to treat her injuries , you still have not told me what you will be able to do for her…"

"The teeth I can heal for certain , but she'll be in for a terrible night that's for sure! Pain relief potions as you well know clash with a number of the ingredients in the skelegrow , which means she'll have to go without , and the pain will be quite extreme to regrow 6 adult molars, teething pains to the nth degree as you can imagine.  
I've had a few students with teeth knocked out by bludgers over the years, and when it's the younger children I usually don't bother regrowing them if they were baby teeth , and let them wait to come into their adult teeth over time , but 6 adult teeth in one night…it'll be hard for her , but that's not what's concerning me"

"Debillitating pain aside… what more do you have to be concerned about her teeth Poppy , what can possibly be worse than a full night of painful teething ?"

"Before I can regrow her teeth with the Skelegrow , the remaining fragments of teeth need to be removed, and the surrounding teeth that are damaged need to be straightened back into place , otherwise we'll cause no amount of trouble when the new teeth erupt , it's a moderately difficult dental charm , but nothing I haven't done before, not even as complex as the work I did for young Mister Flint , however It needs to be done with a wand"

Of course. Of course the skelegrow would not be enough, why not. Of course the traumatised girl that's sensitive about her mouth , scared of mediwitches and terrified of wands… would have to have a mediwitch point a wand at her mouth. Why don't we go do it on the astronomy tower just for extra kicks.

He swore under his breath in as many languages as he could , when he'd got to 13 languages and some very creative alternatives to fuck in gobbledegook , he was ready to carry on.

"We will manage Poppy… and what about… the other"

He couldn't say it , couldn't make his tongue forms the words to say it out loud.

"That… will be more difficult."

His stomach clenched

"But not impossible?"

"Not impossible no... But difficult , from what I could gather from my scan…"

The mediwitch trailed off again and took a few deep breaths , he narrowed his eyes at her and was about to send another scathing comment about wishing she would just get on with it when she snapped at him

"I am aware that I am aggravating you Severus but I am not made of stone! I've told you once already that I am NOT a trauma healer , I work with children at a school , It has been difficult for me to heal my friend when he comes back from a madman crucioed half to death and it is damn near impossible for me to comprehend healing a young woman that has been tortured to the brink of madness, especially when it's the sweet and harmless girl who knit gloves for Argus!"

Shit, he was a prick , it wasn't fair to take his aggravation out on Poppy, he began to apologise when…

"… Miss Granger knit gloves for Argus Filch?"

"Yes… in her second year, I'm not sure when Miss Granger had found out that Argus was a squib or what that meant , but it was when we had that bloody cold snap when the snow came half way up the doors... she was talking to Filius in the staff room about some extra credit charms work when she saw Argus and got this package out of her bag, she'd said to him that she'd come so heavily to rely on magic for heating charms to keep warm , that she couldn't imagine what it'd be like to have to go without one in a castle as cold as this , especially when patrolling on a night , so she'd knit him a pair of gloves and woven heating charms into them as she worked, and cleansing charms to keep them clean"

Guilt washed over him then when he realised he'd known the man for nearly 30 years and never even given it a thought, what one would do in a cold castle in winter with no electricity and no magic.

"I know what you're thinking Severus… I hadn't considered it either , nor had any of the other stuff , Argus is such a fixture in this old castle it's almost as if he's one of the gargoyles or paintings, you know it's there but don't really think any more into it… she's made him something for Christmas every year since you know?"

"indeed?"

"Yes , last year she made him a jumper and charmed it with some minor protection charms , to stop students sending jinxes at him in the halls"

Affection and anger warred in his chest again, affection for the young girl who simply saw a person in need and helped them, regardless of the opinion of the student body, Argus was not popular and never had been , but still she had risen above it and helped him simply because she could , and then the anger had come once more… what kind of world was it he was living in , that the same girl would be forced to suffer so ? champion of Squibs , House Elves , and greasy potion masters , fighting in the corner for the downtrodden.

"I apologise for being short with you Poppy… but we must continue"

"You're right Severus… do you think she's listening?"

He sighed and looked down to the head pillowed on his chest , her eyes were open but not focussed and she was staring into the distance, and otherwise did not react to him .

"Not right now Poppy , what is it you need to say"

"From my scans on her… what's left of her tongue"

They had both gone quite green at that

"The teeth are a much older injury , probably within the first few days of being in Azkaban , but the t-tongue is later , probably within the last 2 days. It looks to have been done , the "Muggle" way , that is to say without magic , like her teeth it seems to have been done with brute force and some implement however the tongue is a muscle and muscles heal very fast , if I had seen her sooner and if I had the…well , the missing part… It would be a much different prognosis , but as it stands…"

"Get to the point please Poppy."

"Very well… the wound has already started to heal and we don't have the missing part, that means regrowing it , as it's already started to heal we will need to debride and remove the scar tissue to allow for regrowth , that will not be pleasant… regrowing a muscle is much more complex than regrowing a solid shape such as a bone , whereas a bone will regrow overnight, this may take a few days as the tongue is a very complex muscle…there will be a scar no doubt where the… old meets the new as It were , and chances are that if we are not lucky she could have a pronounced lisp or quite a different voice altogether when the healing is through , worse case scenario she may have to relearn how to talk all over again… fortunately the process is not as painful as regrowing a bone as she should be able to have mild painkillers along with the muscle-gro , but it will still be an uncomfortable process."

"Do you have some muscle-gro or do I need to brew it?"

"I have some yes , it has a long shelf life and it's not something I get much call for , so what is our plan of action Severus , the girl is quite obviously petrified of me, so I will refer to your judgement"

"The Skelegro and musclegro cannot be taken together at this dosage correct?"

"No you're right, they contain a number of the same ingredients and to give her the dose of both she would need , would have her overdosing on some of the ingredients"

"Is the… will the tongue be painful?"

"it will be painful yes, but the teeth more so"

"Then that is where we will start"

She gave him a curt nod , and sat in the chair to await his instructions. He steeled himself and approached the girl still tucked into his side.

"Hermione can you hear me… Hermione?"

She did not respond at first but when he went to distance himself from her slightly so that he could rise, she snapped back to herself and held him tighter with a soft whimper .

"Hermione, I need to speak to you"

She slowly met his eyes , the pain and shame in them was choking him , and he gently ran his hand up and down her arm as he spoke to her.

"Madam Pompfrey… Poppy can fix your teeth for you , we'd like to do that now , is that ok ?"

She shivered when he mentioned the mediwitch and shot her a glance from the corner of her eye, before looking at him again , she seemed conflicted but when the mediwitch went to move a little closer the girl jumped a mile and recoiled from her , shivering more violently to the point she was nearly vibrating in his arms.

"It's ok Hermione… we will not do anything without telling you first, Poppy says that your teeth must be very painful , and that they have been like that for a long time… we can take away the pain for now if you let us?"

She kept her eyes fixed on him , she was still shaking but it was clear she was listening , though he fear of Poppy was palpable.

"I promised I would tell you everything , we know you've lost 6 teeth sweetheart…"

She sniffled at this and buried her face in his chest

"…but we can grow them back for you , it will be an uncomfortable night but by tomorrow it will all be over , but first… you need to let us remove what's left of the old ones , and straighten the surrounding ones ok ?"

She seemed to be considering it, she was afraid that was for sure, but the prospect of one more night of discomfort and then being pain free, must be incredibly tempting when one has been in near constant agony for weeks.

"Please Hermione… all it will take is a few minutes of wand work and…"

She had started violently at that , and was once again shaking her head vehemently no , eyes full of tears , she looked at him and her expressions was begging him to say " No , it's ok you don't have to do this" but he knew he could not.

"Poppy will not do anything to intentionally hurt you Hermione , that I promise you , and I will be right here…"

She was still shaking her head no, crying and once again on the verge of a panic attack.

"Ok Hermione it's ok…" he said rubbing her back and offering his best attempt at soothing her, he looked beseechingly at Poppy to see if she had any answers, but she only shrugged her shoulders in that universal signal of "I don't know" , in the space of the past hour or so he'd offered more comforting words and platitudes than he had offered anyone in the last decade.

He needed a way to show her that Poppy could be trusted for this , and then in a moment he had an idea, and he almost laughed at the irony of it.

"Poppy , once you have vanished the pieces, the spell you need to perform … it is the one you used on Marcus Flint yes?"

"Yes severus that's right , it's a general dental charm that corrects teeth alignment and puts them where they're supposed to be , I suppose it's similar to what muggles do with those grills they put on their teeth."  
"Braces you mean?"

"Yes that's right"

"Well then , if this is the spell you used on Mr. Flint , then it stands to Reason that it's the same one that you and Minerva have been pestering at me to allow you to perform since I began on staff … am I right ?"

"Yes it's the same charm Severus …but why? .. .Do you mean to ?"

"Yes , if it will work…. Hermione?"

He turmed to address the girl in his arms , who had been watching their conversation closely.

"Would you allow Poppy to cast a spell to help fix your teeth , if you can watch her cast it on me first ?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /
> 
> AN / Not the best place to stop I know guys , but this chapter was just going to keep going and going , and I wanted to make sure I got SOME sleep tonight.
> 
> Please review , Loves Ya x


	9. Chapter 9

> _“Would you allow Poppy to cast a spell to fix your teeth, if you can watch her cast it on me first ?”_  
>  _Cont._  
>  _\- - - - -_
> 
>   
>  The girl held her breath and looked fearfully at Poppy without letting go of him , he sighed and nodded to Poppy.
> 
>  

**“Go ahead Poppy, what do you need me to do?”**

The mediwitch moved closer so she was sat in front of him and he couldn’t help but notice the girls increased heartrate and trembling it was obvious from the way she leaned back, and pulled on his jacket as if to take him with her, that she desperately wanted to move away from the mediwitch , but also could not bare to let go of him.

**“Easy Hermione , I trust Poppy , she would not do anything to harm either of us , watch.”**

**“Ok Severus , this will be a little uncomfortable , would you like some pain relief first?”**

**“Miss Granger will not be able to take pain relief if she is to take the Skelegro after, so I shall abstain”**

**“Very well , in that case there will be some sharp pain and discomfort as the spell is being cast, but it will only take a few minutes and the pain will stop as soon as the spell is finished and the teeth are no longer moving, though your jaw may ache slightly afterwards , open your mouth when you are ready”**

He took a deep breath and debated telling her to sod it all , when he cast a look at the girl that was trembling in his arms, she was afraid that much was certain but as she met his eyes there was another look there, albeit faintly , hope.

Damn it all to hell. He opened his mouth , and Poppy levelled his wand at his mouth, first she immobilised his jaw and then cast the spell.

**“Ok Severus , I’ll immobilise your jaw, the don’t move until I’ve finished…Petrificus…Dentes Exsarcio”**

He wanted to groan at the sharp and wrong pain of his teeth moving around in his jaw, and wished for a minute he had accepted the pain relief, he felt the girl tense in his arms and heard her whimper when Poppy cast the spell, he wanted to turn and face her to reassure her, but he heeded Poppy’s warning to stay still and instead offered his hand to the girl by raising it to her level, and he felt her grasp it tightly in her own shaking one.

A few minutes passed in which time a fine sheen of sweat appeared on his head , and he was grateful for the girls hand in his , and began to wonder who was getting more support from it.

He gave a sigh of relief when the mediwitch stopped turning her wand and the pain disappeared.

 **“There we go Severus almost done… just one more thing… Inalbesco”**  
He felt a sudden surge in his mouth and a chemical taste as if he had rinsed his mouth out with bleach

**“Poppy….what was that”**

**“While we were there any way I threw in a whitening charm , in for a sickle in for a knut and all that”**

He gave her a venomous glare and vowed to make her pay for it later , even as he ran his tongue across his teeth to feel his now straight bottom teeth.

He turned to Hermione, who hadn’t taken her eyes off him and Poppy throughout the spell.

 **“See , no harm done”** He offered her a small smile , and she raised her hand slightly as if she planned to touch her hand to his lip and expose his bottom teeth , but then she seemed to remember her current state of injury and hygiene and with a sense of shame she pulled her hand away and tucked it in her lap , and broke away from his gaze.

 **“Hey now , none of that…look** ” He said as he used his own hand and pulled his bottom lip down so that she could see his now straight and white bottom teeth.

She stared at his now perfect teeth , and again had that small almost non-existent hopeful look.

**“Ok Hermione , now it’s your turn OK ?”**

He held his breath as he awaited her answer, and hoped to all the divines she would allow it.

She continued to tremble and sweat in his arms, and he was once again reminded of the smell coming off her; stale sweat, blood, urine and dirt and again he wondered just what seven hells she had been through.

She was meeting his eyes, and trembling but there was something else in the way she was staring at him… the way she was not blinking or breaking from his gaze , as if she was trying to communicate something to him , but what…no…it couldn’t be…but then maybe , she was the brightest witch of her age after all. 

He took a deep breath , and without breaking eye contact began to gently probe her mind with legillimency.

Chaos. That was all he could think , the tone of her mind was absolute chaos , dark colours and shapes and aggressive storms of weather. He found himself at the walls of her mind , where she shielded her inner self. She was occluding, he realised with a start. Legillimens and occlumens were born , not made… though a raw and basic form of occlusion could be taught to some… it was nothing compared to the natural instinct of someone born with the skill… and it was incredibly rare to be born thus, he knew of only 3 in existence; himself , Dumbledore and Voldemort and now a fourth in Miss Granger , for he was of no doubt she was a natural occlumens, and the albeit crumbling defences of her mind could testify to such. It did not surprise as much as it should for is there any wonder that the girl who craved order in her life would implement it in her mind also ?

He suddenly realised that this was the reason she had managed to hold onto some semblance of her sanity, by compartmentalising her mind , and occluding her thoughts and memories , she was able to isolate herself from her memories and for the most part reality… it was a dangerous thing though , to occlude so heavily for so long , it could do untold damage to her mind to hold the barriers in place for so long , the human mind was not designed to be held back so.

  
In her mind he was faced with a blank wall with a single door, reaching out he went to turn the handle and paused with his hand upon it , this was where he would find out if she truly was offering what he thought she was , for him to see her mind and understand what she was saying to him… if he had misunderstood , she would keep him locked out.. though he had no doubt with his skills in legillimency that he could ‘pick the lock’ or even ‘kick open the door’ if he had to , he had no intention of entering where he wasn’t welcome, with a deep breath he turned the handle and the door stuck for a moment as though in hesitation… he felt a presence around him that was simply ‘her’ and he allowed his shields to fall so she could sense him fully , once reassured of him , the door swung open and he stepped inside. Taking a look around the otherwise empty room, he realised that her mind was organised, unsurprisingly so, on a large bookcase. There were hundreds of books on the bookcase , a large number of which were chained to the shelf like the dangerous books in the restricted section of the Hogwarts library , some of these he noted was trembling on their shelves and the chains groaning under the pressure of holding them back… he noted also that they were dominating the shelf ,seemingly large and oppressive , hiding smaller more colourful books from sight , and the shelves themselves seemed to be groaning under the burden of them. He wondered what exactly she wanted to show him , when one of the chained books was pushed from the shelf at his feet.

He lifted the book and felt a sudden and visceral fear in his gut , and nausea rose within him , he braced himself and opened it , though he found he was only able to open it to a certain page , and he allowed himself a moment to be impressed with her skill; despite the fact that the bookshelf was on the verge of coming down , and the book felt as if it might crumble in his hands , she was still able to direct him to a specific page in the book , and keep him away from others.

With a jolt he saw what she wanted him to see.

_She cannot move, the two either side of her hold her tight between their large bodies and she does not have the strength to fight them, the pain screams through her so much that she fears she will go mad as the ground swims beneath her._  
_The mediwitch points a wand at her face and she waits to be stupefied, she wants to be stupefied, for the blessed release of unconsciousness but NO! The mediwitch laughs and then she is frozen and immobile, NO! Petrified not stupefied! She is aware! She can see, and hear and feel but she cannot move, she hears laughing around her, laughing from those holding her and she is lifted onto the bed the hospital wing ceiling fills her vision and then the laughing face of the mediwitch is there , “ Open wide mudblood…we’re going to do this the muggle way , just like your parents would want” , she fights the body bind and then “INCARCEROUS” she is bound to the bed by the laughing mediwitch, a hand grabs her jaw and wrenches it open…she wants to sob from the pain and.._

He is pulled from the memory sickened and angry as the book begins quickly flipping pages, once again he is prevented from seeing any other page until once more he is drawn into the one she wants him to see , the memory he’s pulled into is chaotic, it’s crumbling at the seams and whatever he’s about to see he knows was something big , as he can practically feel the pages tearing around him as she desperately tries to keep the binding of the book together.

 _She’s fighting them, she’s so tired and hungry and she hurts , but she will fight them even though she’s afraid of them , she cannot go back there to her. Even without the pain and the hunger she would be no match for them , she knows she cannot best them , she’s tried and tried but they always win , but she will not stop fighting this as she’s brought once more to the room , and the laughing mediwitch , once again the wand is raised at her and ropes bind her hands behind her back this time and she is kicking and screaming and the witch is laughing as she points her wand once more between her eyes…._

The memory begins to fracture and shake before his eyes , as parts of it are shielded from his vision..

_“I’ll…cut…you…you’ll…never…again…like the dog you are mudblood” The wand is there between her eyes , the centre of her world and all that she can see..”PETRIFICUS TOTALUS”_

Suddenly he’s violently ejected from the book , he lands ungracefully on his arse in front of the bookcase with the wind knocked out of him as chains are thrown around the book , so many that he can no longer see the cover , there’s a screaming coming from it and it reminds him of the tome in the restricted section that screams when you open it… only it’s not right because the screams coming from this book aren’t demonic , they’re hers.

He’s no stranger to screams , he’s seen and caused his fair share of them , but with a lurch they transport him to the first time he saw death… not to a death eater meeting , or a revel but back to being a child In the broken town of cokeworth , he remembers the first death he saw .

_It was a gang of thugs, punk kids from the rough estates, Guns are not big in England like in the states, guns are few and far between and so gun crime was rarer still.. handguns practically don’t exist but the thieves and had robbed a farmer and got hold of his shotgun.. they shot a boy from a rival gang , not being used to guns they probably hadn’t realised the damage a shotgun can do at close range , and had left as soon as they saw what they’d done. He remembered the sound , like an explosion and then the screaming , dear god the screaming. The boy had taken the shot straight to the stomach, Severus’s mother had ran to a payphone to call an ambulance , even though he was certain she’d known on some level that they wouldn’t come to cokeworth at this time of night, in this area. She’d instructed him to stay with the boy , he’d tried to talk to him but the boy could not hear him over the sound of his own screams. All Severus could think was that this was not like the showed it in the movies, in the films when people were shot they either lived and got up to save the day , or they died. It wasn’t this, blood and bits of bone and burnt fabric…for 10 minutes the 19 year old screamed himself hoarse and cried for his mother, “Mum…mum…mummy… I want my muuum…please…mummy” waiting for an ambulance that wasn’t coming, he soiled himself and screamed and screamed until he finally bled out…_

That boy’s screams rang in his mind again now, _“mummy… I want my muuum…please”_ and with a effort to hold back tears he remembered his first insight into her mind _“Please…I want my Grandma..I want McGonagall Please”_

Her screams , coming from her book ,were not the screams of a teenage girl that’s found a spider in her room; they were horrifying , gut wrenching screams of pure absolute terror and agony and fear of death… and he was terrified at finding out what had caused them.

He felt himself pushed away from the bookcase and out of the door , and suddenly found himself back in the room with Poppy as he stared into the tearful eyes of Miss Granger and for the first time in years he was fighting to hold back the tears himself.

**“Poppy, Miss Granger is going to let you heal her teeth but you must not use your wand to immobilise or restrain her in any way, is that understood?”**

  
The girl sighed and seemed to shrink in on herself , holding tightly too him she let the tears flow when she realised her message had finally been understood .  
= = = 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: / Hello guys , this story is posted on FF & Archive, I love your kudos but please comment / review, it's those that keep me going.  
> I'm sorry if my formatting / spell checking sucks but I usually am posting from my phone.  
> Please please review / comment and let me know what you think .


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING – GRAPHIC NON-CON/COERCION IN THIS CHAPTER

**“It is not ideal but if that is what it will take Severus, then that is what we will do, but you must hold her steady if I am to do this properly, the more she moves then the longer it will take.”**

 

After the memories he had just witnessed, he did not think restraining her in any way would be helpful, but he understood what the witch was saying, and considering how much more work needed to be done, he was keen to get a move on.

He adjusted his stance so he was sat on the sofa and she was sat by his side, she leant into him slightly and his arm was around her shoulders.

 

**“I need you to open your mouth Hermione”**

 

The girl shook her head no at Poppy’s request and attempted to bury into his side once more.

It pained him to upset her so, but he knew he had to draw the line somewhere and that he would have to be cruel to be kind.

She needed healing, the sooner the better.

He gently pushed her away from his side, preventing her from burying her face in his ribs, but not removing his arm that was offering support around her shoulder.

His rejection of the support she sought had upset her, and the hurt look she gave him battered at his soul, as her tearful amber eyes surrounded by vicious purple bruising gazed up at him.

 

**“I am sorry Miss Granger, but you need to help us so that we may help you, we had a deal remember?  I held up my end of the bargain, what happened to that Gryffindor honour?”**

 

It was a low blow for certain, but he needed to get her to willingly cooperate, he had promised not to use any spells on her, but that did not mean he would not physically restrain her if it came to that, she could not be allowed to go on in this state with debilitating injuries.

 

He was not ready for the reaction she had to his words, instead of the fearful reaction he had come to expect, something in her just gave way. The look she gave him was utterly heart-breaking, and the slight spark in her eyes seemed to die out and her eyes dropped from his as her body tensed and she stared dejectedly at the floor.  
It scared him as all the fight seemed to have drained from her at his words, and on top of that he began to feel something that made his stomach drop in fear.

 

**“Severus… what’s going on, my ears have popped… what’s happening?!”**

 

The mediwitch looked nervously from the girl to him, as he felt the build-up of pressure around them all.  
She was occluding to a dangerously high level, something of what he said had bothered her enough for her to slam herself behind her mental barriers, that was the reason for the increased pressure around them, her occlumency was so high that her mind was being isolated from her magic, which without her subconscious control was beginning to affect the environment around them.

 

**“Merlin’s Bollocks…Forgive me Hermione”**

He grabbed her face and pulled her round to face Poppy, but her body was tense and she was attempting to curl into herself as her hands tightened into fists, she drew up her knees and attempted to lower her head to her chest, but was prevented by his hold.  
He attempted to wrench her jaw open but her muscles were so tense that her jaw was locked.   
Spitting out another creative curse he pulled her head slightly to the side and using two fingers he pulled down her bottom lip and up her top lip the best he could, so that her mouth on the right hand side were bared as much as he could manage.

 

**“This is the best you are going to get Poppy, do what you need to do, and do it quickly or there will be dire consequences for us all”**

The mediwitch jumped into action and began by vanishing the damaged teeth, then repairing the damaged enamel on the surrounding teeth.

There was no outward reaction in the girl from the spell and he was a little concerned, he was hoping that the brief respite from the longstanding pain would have been enough to ground her some, before they had to begin the painful part.

 

**“There won’t be as much movement needed as there was in your case Severus, but it’s going to hurt so keep her still”**

**“I’m doing the best I can Poppy just do it quickly for circe’s sake!”**

 

He knew the second she began her spell as the girl stiffened in his arms and the pressure dropped even further around them, it was like being in the midst of a thunderstorm as a thick grey haze surrounded them, draining all colour from the vicinity and casting strange hues of light across everything as static electricity made their hair stand on end.

 

 The girls hands were in such tight fists he was worried about her already damaged joints, even as blood began to run from her palms where her nails were digging in.

Creaks and groans sounded from the furniture, and he noticed the unoccupied chair began to twist and warp into a macabre shape. There was a few quiet pings, as spiderweb-like cracks appeared in the glass doors of his cabinet.

**“Any time now Poppy…”**

**“I’m almost done…”**

He prayed what he was about to do would work, as he was not sure what else he could do otherwise.

He fisted his hand in her hair and tilted her head back slightly so he could look into her eyes , even as they were glazed and unresponsive. Eye contact was not necessary for a master Legillimens as him but it helped strengthen the connection and he was going to need all the help he could get.

**“Finished !”**

Just in time the mediwitch yelled as a wave of pressure pushed the chair she was in backwards and she landed flat on her back a few feet away.   
Severus to felt the pressure push at him, but being locked as he was onto her, anchored him in place.

 

**“Hermione… Hermione look at me!”**

He was desperately trying to get her to meet his gaze, his panic only increased as the colour seemed to drain from her lifeless eyes, the whiskey colour becoming duller and almost grey

**“Severus!”**

The mediwitch called out to him in panic as another wave of pressure flattened her to the floor, preventing her from rising and the temperature seemed to drop around him until he could see his breath in the area as the cracks in the glass ruptured sending the glass shards crumpling to the floor.

 

**“Hermione… little one… please”**

In the end, he didn’t know what did it, whether it was the pet name or the please, all he knew was the small flick of recognition as the dull eyes moved minutely to meet his. It was enough.

 

**“Legillimens”**

_Damn it ,he had been pulled straight into a memory , this was not part of his plan!_  
The memory he was pulled into was falling apart, the ground was trembling beneath his feet, almost like tremors before an earthquake.  
He’d bypassed the bookcase completely, and instead was stood within her memory, almost like being in a penseive.  
He was in one of the Upper cells in Azkaban, the wind was biting cold and the place was devoid of colour, black skies on black mould on black walls, as the dark forms of dementors passed by.  
The Hermione in the memory was stood with her back to one of the 3 walls as another inmate was stood with his back to Severus as he addressed her , she was shaking and had tears running down her face.

**_“We had a deal mudblood…I played my part, now it’s your turn to pay up little Gryffindor”_ **

_He felt bile rise in his throat as he realised his words almost mimicked what this brute had said to her._

_Tears were running down her face freely now, as the brute approached her and he could do naught but watch._

**_“Please... P-please don’t…”_ **

_Her words were broken and stuttered and he realised that her teeth must already have been broken, however she obviously still had her tongue, so that put this encounter sometime after her first week in Azkaban._

_The man just shook his head as he got closer to the shaking and crying girl, he was built heavily with large muscles and stood at least 6.5ft tall , standing a couple of inches taller than Severus and dwarfing the girl._

**_“You agreed mudblood, I give you what you want and you give me your consent”_ **

**_“Please…”_ **

**_“The only thing I want girl is you… I’m not interested in taking anything by force, when I can have a nice willing witch… now I already delivered on my part, so unless you want to go back on our deal…it’s your turn to deliver”_ **

_Severus wanted to vomit, he knew this type of man well, the ones who got off on breaking the minds of witches, by twisting things until they felt it was their fault. Whatever it was she had needed, he had managed to force the girl into offering her agreement to him. ‘Willing witch; indeed, he thought in anger as he watched the crying girl, coercion was not consent._

_He watched as the man pressed hard on her shoulder and forced her to her knees in front of him as she only sobbed harder._

_His stomach revolted and he wanted to look away, but he could not, he had hoped she’d been spared this, and at the same time prayed that this was as far as it had gone._

_It was like watching a train wreck, but he knew he had to watch, he needed to see and understand exactly what she had been through, if only to help him navigate the mind field that was her numerous triggers he had come across so far alone._

**_“Remember this was your choice mudblood, your decision, you agreed to this”_ **

_His anger and sickness only rose when the man fisted his hand in her hair and pulled her towards his crotch, as he lifted his robes , the girls sobs only increased until , tired of waiting , he grabbed her jaw and squeezed._

_Severus winced remembering what Poppy had said about the pain from the exposed nerves in her mouth, as the girl cried out in pain._

_The brute wasted no time and used the opportunity to push himself into her mouth and began to thrust roughly into her.  
Severus heart was breaking as the girl cried as the man used her,  his obscene grunting the only sound in the room as he rested one hand on the wall, while the other was fisted in her hair holding her in place as he continued to abuse her mouth._

_As Severus was silently vowing to himself to find the identity of the man and pay a visit to Azkaban, the man groaned lewdly and gave a hard push into the girl that managed to knock her head into the wall behind her._  
He pulled away from her spent, a second later as she firstly took a large gasp of air , the promptly vomited on the floor.  
He smiled as he began to walk towards the door to the cell

**_“It’s been a long time since I had me a nice willing witch , thanks for that love , never been one to force myself on a girl that says no… I’m glad you’re so agreeable , makes things go a lot easier… I think this will be a very profitable agreement don’t you ? I’ll see you later mudblood”_ **

_The girl curled up onto herself and continued to cry before reaching into her robes and pulling out a…._

_He felt a sudden jerk behind his navel, similar to a portkey when he was suddenly back in the room with the bookcase, only he was not alone._

_The shaking on the floor was increasing and Hermione was stood in front of the bookcase, chained books were falling to the floor from the earthquake , and attempting to get loose from their chains and she was picking them up and stuffing them back on the shelf.  
He was reminded of the flying keys test that guarded the philosophers stone as books and pages were flying around her like a cyclone ,  sometimes they would hit her and she’d cry out , or a page would cut her but still she fought to reshelve them._

**_“Hermione.. stop it , you cannot stay here”_ **

_The girl shook her head with tears running down her face and continued trying to force the books back onto the shelf_

**_“Hermione...while you are here they will not remain on the shelves , this place was made for them not you..”_ **

_She was crying, shaking her head and desperately trying to deny what he was saying._

**_“It’s safe here…I can keep things locked safe here… I’m safer here”_ **

_He noticed with alarm that she had wrapped chains around her ankles and legs that were attached to the bookshelf, the same way as the books that contained her dangerous memories._

**_“But it’s not safe here… your mind is breaking, you are not meant to live inside your head , do you want to end up like the longbottoms? Not only that but you’re occluding so hard your magic is breaking free… you’re wrecking my room and you could hurt Poppy and me…you don’t want to hurt anyone do you miss granger?”_ **

**_“I thought you were safe…but you’re not..you..you want a deal with me…”_ **

**_“No Hermione, not that, never that I swear it… I have done a lot of reprehensible things in my time but never that … I meant your teeth remember? I went first and then it was your turn, remember the oath I made you, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you… I only want to help heal you, just let yourself feel… feel your mouth now… how does It feel?”_ **

**_“No…I can’t … I can’t”_ **

**_“Please little one… please just trust me”_ **

_She was shaking and the chains around her legs seemed to get tighter and dig into her skin but she paused for a moment and suddenly the books and pages around him fell to the floor with a large thump._

_She turned slightly to face him , bruised eyes meeting his._

**_“It doesn’t hurt anymore…”_ **

_Books were slowly moving through the air around him and making their way back to the bookshelf, as the chains tightened around them and loosened from her._

**_“See…I promised you, we’re only trying to help you...you need to come back with me Hermione”_ **

_He felt a tugging under his foot and realised that it was the chained tome which contained the memory he had just seen, it was trying to return to the shelf but was under his boot.  
Just as he lifted his foot to allow it to return, he heard a gasp from the girl as the pressure in the room rose._

**_“You..you saw…I can’t…”_ **

_The books began to tremble again on the shelves and the chains clashed against each other._

**_“What I saw was not your fault…nothing that happened was your fault”_ **

**_“My fault…I agreed…I consented…I’m a wh.-”_ **

**_“No! You are not anything, Hermione. Coercion is not consent… please , come back with me , for me…little one please, you risk us both by staying here”_ **

_She was obviously devastated that he had seen what she considered such a shameful memory but to his great relief, she reached out to him._

**_“If…if I come with you..you’ll keep me safe?”_ **

_His answer was immediate._

**_“Always”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was painful to write but It needed to be done.  
> Please review guys , let me know what you think.


	11. Chapter 11

**"If…if I come with you..you'll keep me safe?"**

His answer was immediate.

**"Always"**

_cont._

* * *

He came back to himself with a lurch , and found that he was once more seated on the sofa in his quarters with a distraught Hermione in his arms.  
Time spent using legillimency moved differently to natural time , so he knew thought it had been an ordeal for the two of them, it had been all but a few moments for Poppy, however he still quickly turned to her to see if she was alright.

Poppy was sprawled on the floor , surrounded by papers, broken glass and what were once his chairs (and were now rather avant-garde pieces of twisted wood). Fortunately the pressure in the room had stabilised, and the thick electric charge fog, and abstract hues of strange light had disappeared , everything appeared normal , apart from the mess of course.

Hermione was shivering and had her arms wrapped around her self, as he absently stroked her back in a soothing gesture. He felt like he should be offering more to her in the way of comfort , after what he had just discovered , but at the same time he wanted to respect her boundaries , if she sought him for more comfort he would offer it , but he would not smother her with his presence when she was so obviously distraught.

**"Severus...is everything ?"**

Hermione had flinched in his arms when the mediwitch began to speak , and he felt a slight hum of pressure. He realised that Poppy's presence was going to cause more damage than good in the short term , and whilst everything was so raw with her , it would be best to let her have some distance from the mediwitch , until she was more herself...but how to go about healing her ?

**"Easy Hermione... I am going to go and speak to Poppy over here, I will not leave the room , just the sofa and I will be back shortly"**

She didn't respond to him, when he had shifted slightly to the side to address poppy she had leaned back into the sofa and buried her face into a cushion that she had grasped within her arms.  
It unsettled him when she was unresponsive, but at least she wasn't climbing the walls or in danger of killing them all with wild magic.

He walked over to poppy, grasped her arm and helped her up from her position on the floor as he addressed her quietly in a low tone , so that Hermione would not hear.

**"Are you alright Poppy ?"**

**"I'm fine now... but Severus what was that ?"**

**"Wild Magic"**

**"Don't play dense with me Severus , I know damn well that was more than any run of the mill wild magic"**

**"No it wasn't..."**

He paused, unsure of how much further to go , when the witch's stern visage melted into one of concern.

**"You were in her mind then , weren't you , at the end , to calm her down ?"**

**"I was"**

**"And...?"**

**"I believe it was as we had feared... I cannot yet comprehend the...extent...of the atrocities that she has suffered , but I have witnessed that there was definitely some abuse of a ...personal...nature"**

Tears shone in the soft chocolate eyes of the witch , as she sniffled and looked over his shoulder at the small form of the girl on his sofa.

**"That Poor child... what horrors has she seen , none should have to suffer as she has , let alone one so young and heartfelt"**

He remembered the small bushy haired girl , knitting for squibs and houselves, travelling through time to save a hippogriff and defending him to the other students, and then he looked at the broken thing on the sofa and felt despair at the unfairness of it all.

**"What do we do now Severus, we've barely begun and she's nearly killed us already , not to mention nearly had a heart attack herself in the process"**

**"Spare me the hufflepuff theatrics , she's not nearly killed anyone..."**

**"I may be a hufflepuff Severus , but don't think you can use those Slytherin wiles on me! I may not know what just happened, and I am not sure that I want to know...but I have a damn good idea, and I know that I can't ever recall seeing you afraid like that since that event in the shack... you went white as a ghost"**

**"Obviously you're going senile in your old age... I am always this colour"**

Poppy picked up the nearest book and slapped him upside the head with it.

**"Give over you bloody berk , that situation could have gone to thestral shit and you and I both know it , if it is as you say she's going to need a lot of help , not to mention the amount of blood she's leaving on your sofa she's obviously hurt.. but every time I go near her, she blows a gasket... why is she so afraid of me Severus ? I could understand if I was a man... but she has no trouble with you... so why me?"**

Poppy almost looked hurt, and he could sympathise with the witch. Hermione had been on quite good terms with the witch , though they were not as close as her and Minerva had been, she was one of the few students who she was "Poppy" to, and she had often spent her spare time brewing for the mediwitch or assisting in the infirmary, and had shown an interest in the (albeit misogynistic male dominated) field of medicinal potions, but Miss Granger had never been one to back down from a challenge. Poppy had once confessed to him that she was of a mind to offer her an apprenticeship when she was finished with her schooling , as her potions were exemplary , much better than the ones she got on contract from slug and jiggers and second only to his own brews, which with his teaching and work for two masters, he no longer had time to provide her with.

**"When I was in her mind earlier... it became obvious to me that there may be some...corruption... within the staff of azkaban. Though I am not sure yet as to how her teeth were broken... I know it was the resident mediwitch , along with a couple of guards that are the reason for the subsequent vicious removal... "**

**"Gods Severus... the inmates, the staff, the guards...she was so isolated, did she have no one to turn to ?"**

**"I do not know Poppy...in addition there was another incident with the mediwitch...one which caused her great pain , both physical and mental... the extent to which I cannot comprehend... I do not know what happened, but I know that it's tearing her apart"**

**"Merlin..."**

**"Indeed..."**

**"And this is why she didn't want to be restrained either ?"**

He winced and looked away at that , choosing instead to focus on the deep black of his dragon-hide boots.  
Hmm... when did that burn happen ? Oh right Longbottom.

**"Severus... what aren't you telling me?"**

He sighed deeply and began to rub the bridge of his nose with his fingers, trying to stave off the stress induced headache he could feel building.

**"Miss Granger went willingly to the mediwitch when her teeth were broken... as she was awaiting to be stunned by the witch...the woman instead petrified her"**

**"Circe... surely not? Any professional with half a mind knows...but then she would've..?."**

**"Indeed...she was fully aware throughout the 'procedure' , she saw, heard and _felt_  everything . The witch knew was she doing, the twisted bitch was laughing"**

The mediwitch turned a shade of green that would have made any slytherin proud.

**"I like my boots the colour they are Poppy, if you feel the need to vacate your stomach , please do so elsewhere"**

She gave him an exasperated look , even as her colour began to go back to normal.

**"What do we do from here then? If the girl is that traumatised..."**

**"I believe that your presence is not of any benefit at the moment to Miss Granger... I believe the best course of action would be to do the general overall health scans, to ensure she is not at any immediate risk of death , and then I will have to take over her care until she is in a more stable state of mind"**

**"Normally I would say that she would be better off under the care of another woman given what's happened to her , but she seems to be comfortable around you Severus, so I believe that would be best."**

**"Indeed... I must confess that I have little idea where to go from here Poppy...I..."**

**"Severus...I trust you... more importantly SHE trusts you , just don't do anything to break that trust and I think you will be fine...and Severus ? Eventually you must get her to talk about it , to acknowledge it, accept it...as painful as it will be for her , to continue on denying and shielding herself from it , will break her...she can't change whats been done, but she can learn to overcome it in time."**

**"I am not one for talking about feelings Poppy... maybe Minerva?"**

**"I have no doubt Minerva will play her own part in the girls recovery...once she is a bit more grounded , however I think you have a bigger part in all this. Just be there for her Severus, encourage her to talk , listen when she does, and when she cries and breaks down, and she will...be there to pick up the pieces and put her back together"**

**"And what If I cannot...what if I make things worse?"**

**"You won't Severus, I know you... you're a good man, with a good heart underneath all those layers, I know you'll do right by the girl , and you can floo call me, day or night for anything"**

Poppy placed her hand on his arm and slowly rubbed his bicep , it was the hug that was not a hug, as a hug would have got her hexed...but it was appreciated all the same.

**"Let's get this scan done then Severus, I think you're in for a long night"**

* * *

They turned as one to approach Hermione , curled up on his emerald green sofa , he was concerned to see the mediwitch had been right about her losing blood , there were a number of small pools of blood where she'd been sat, and there were also patches on both the back and the arms where she had lent, she must be losing blood from a number of places.

**"Hermione...Poppy is going to do one last scan of you , then she's going to leave , alright ?"**

There was no response from the silent girl other than to squeeze the silver cushion tighter to her chest.

Taking a deep breath , the mediwitch raised her wand and began to do a quick up down scan of the girls body.  
Once again Severus watched as her face managed to become pale and green at the same time.

She dropped her wand arm after a moment, and stared in sympathy at the girl , who was visibly starting to get agitated by her presence.  
After another moment passed without the witch saying anything, the girl whimpered and he felt the temperature and pressure change slightly around him.

**"Poppy...the results"**

She turned quickly to him , and looked white as a sheet.

**"There's...there's a lot Severus... nothing I could see in full detail...but enough to be grateful she's not dead...I..."**

**"Poppy...her urgent requirements ?"**

**"yes of course...there's nothing that will kill her overnight but... definitely get a blood replenisher in her with the skelegro before bed, and a nutrient potion and some water, she's so extremely dehydrated and nearly starved that she's at risk of organ failure , there's something else too...hormone and chemical levels are off...endorphins too, strange but... nevermind , none of that is urgent tonight, other than that, assess her as you get her cleaned up and just play it by ear"**

**"Thank You Poppy"**

**"Oh and Severus , before I go ?"**

He turned to face her as she walked away from him

**"I do believe you said something about warbeck and firewhiskey..."**

He raised his eyebrow at her but gestured towards his cabient all the same , snorting as she went straight for a full bottle of ogdens and took it with her.  
He would have liked to indulge himself , but it seems he was responsible for someone else now and imbibing large quantities of alcohol were not tantamount to being a responsible protector.

* * *

He moved back towards the sofa , thinking on what Poppy had said to him , 'Assess her as you get her cleaned up' how it Merlin's name was he going to manage that ?  
As he got closer he took in her appearance once more, she does need to be cleaned up, that's for certain he thought as he wrinkled his nose at the smell of her , she shivered again and scratched her arm, which seemed to be irritating her and he was once again concerned about the possibility of an infection , as he came to sit by her.

She did not react at first , but once more he sat and waited for her , as he had done in the hall when she first arrived, he would not rush her.  
Within a few minutes of sitting down , she had slowly raised her eyes to meet his gaze.

**"Alright in there Granger ?"**

She just stared at him slowly blinking , but was otherwise unresponsive.  
He sighed, he really didn't like when she occluded, but still it was better than the dangerous level she was at earlier , at least a part of her was here , even if she was otherwise keeping hold of her emotions.  
Poppy was right, seeing the colour drain out of her honey eyes earlier had terrified him , the thought of her being lost to them, was unthinkable.

**"It's just us now , Poppy has gone back to her office"**

Once again he hoped for more of a response, but she just flicked her eyes slightly to the side to scan the room for the mediwitch , then brought her eyes back to him when she had done.

How to broach the subject of getting her clean...

**"Hermione... I was wondering if you would like get clean , I'm sure you would feel better if you could wash your hair, change out those overalls for some clean clothes... and we don't want any of your wounds to get infected do we ?"**

She was still staring at him , but he was not sure if she was even listening to him. Merlin's balls.

Making a decision he stepped toward her , then knelt in front of her.

**"Would you like to get clean...maybe have a shower?"**

THAT got a response... the minute he mentioned shower her eyes snapped to his and she frantically shook her head no.  
Great... as if this wasn't going to be difficult enough... what could possibly...oh. Prisons and showers, god he hoped it wasn't that.  
But...the brute that abused her in that memory had done so in her cell , he'd obviously found a way to get to her , and she certainly didn't seem to  _smell_  like she'd had a shower any time recently, there was nothing else for it, he needed to understand her triggers so that he could work around them, and Poppy said that she needed to stop keeping it all in.

**"Hermione, I would like to make a compromise with you , whenever something upsets you or frightens you... I won't push you , I promise, however you must show me WHY , do that and I will not push you , and we can move on to something else , would that be agreeable ?"**

The girl looked to her feet and her shoulders slumped, she stayed that way for a few minutes until he began to wonder if he had lost her to that fugue state again when she suddenly tensed her shoulders, took a deep breath and then looked him straight in the eye, she'd made her decision and he couldn't help buy smile softly as he entered her mind, brave little Gryffindor.

* * *

_Unclean._

_Dirty._

_Filthy._

_Mudblood._

_She was unclean , she needed to get clean._

_They'd said she could be showered once a week, she needed it today , she was so dirty._

_She banged on the door to the cell , until one of the guards came through._

**_"Who's making all that fucking noise you wankers ! I'll fucking... oh it's you, what do you want princess ?"_ **

_she tried to ignore the revulsion at the positively lecherous look he aimed at her._

**_"I'm s-sorry , b-but I w-would really like to s-shower...they s-said I could?"_ **

_She hated the way her voice broke , how she couldn't form the words around the pain in her mouth._

**_"A shower eh ? need a good...rub down do you? Want some help with your back..."_ **

_She shivered at the positively vile look on his face as he unashamedly gave her an up down read._

**_"J-just a s-shower p-please"_ **

_The grin he gave her was positively predatory_

**_"Course girl , I can take you to the showers now if you'd like... there's 4 shower heads in the stall to share between you , and I'm sure the boys will be happy to show you how everything works"_ **

_No._

_no.no.no._

**_"A-alone... p-please , can't I..."_ **

**_"Well I suppose I could help you out...if you'd prefer to be alone that is..."_ **

_She jumped back as he opened the cell door and walked in , closing it behind him._

_He was thin and pasty , with terrible skin and the dark grey uniform he wore was stained and he smelt like stale sweat , making her want to gag at his odious presence._

**" _Value your privacy do you pet ? I can see why...sweet little slice like you would have no end of friends lining up to help you get to those hard to reach places"_**

_She shivered in revulsion , but had to push on._

_So Dirty._

**_"P-please"_ **

_he grinned at her, and she was sickened by his stained and broken teeth, he reminded her of a muggle junkie._

_"Course princes....strip"_

_No._

_No.no_

_Please._

**_"N-no"_ **

**_"I hope you're not talking back to an officer Princess...here I am going out of my way to help you , going against regulations to give you special favours and preferential treatment, and you're talking back to me and giving me trouble?"_ **

_She wanted to cry , as she stood shaking her head , trying desperately to hold back the tears._

_**"Suit yourself then love...Aguamenti Glacies"** _

_MERLIN_

_Freezing cold water struck her from his wand as he cast the ice cold water to fall all over her , in powerful and painful jets like from a pressurised hose pipe,  
Her mouth screamed in pain from the extreme cold, as her body burned with the sting of the cold water, he waterlogged robes dragged her to the ground with the weight of them , all while he continued to laugh and pound her with the freezing spray._

_She tried to shout and beg ,but one hit of the ice water in her open mouth had her head in her hands as she fought not to vomit or pass out from the pain.  
she didn't trust herself not to fall off the steep edge of the cell if she passed out where she was , on the now wet stone._

_After what seemed like hours , limbs aching and numb from the cold , lips blue , clothing sodden and hair lank at her sides, the man finally stopped._

_Her nipples were like ice, and rubbed raw on the rough prison overalls.. he took a step toward her , and pinning her to the wall with his body he reached up his hand and cupped her breast , running his finger over her erect nipple._

**_"There now love...hope you enjoyed your shower , happy to help you out anytime if you fancy a bit of one on one treatment yeah ?"_ **

_He pinched her nipple as he walked away , causing her to whimper in pain as she collapsed into the fetal position and cried._

* * *

 

Fucking Wankers.

Sadistic fucking bastards.

He was seething as he came back to himself , she just looked away from him with tears in her eyes as she held her cushion tighter to herself.

Taking a deep breath to calm his raging emotions, he reached out gently and put his finger under her chin , to  carefully lift her tearful gaze to his.

**"How about a bath yeah ? a nice _warm_  bath?"**

for the first time since she arrived, he got the smallest flicker of a hopeful and sad little smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review !


	12. Chapter 12

**"How about a bath yeah ? a nice warm bath?"**

for the first time since she arrived, he got the smallest flicker of a hopeful and sad little smile.

cont.

* * *

Gods how was he going to do this? He'd left the girl in his sitting room , still curled on his sofa, and had walked into his bathroom to run her bath, when he had promptly frozen when he remembered that people as a rule bathed naked...and he was now staring at the large claw footed tub.

It was nothing compared to the grandeur of the prefects bathroom, which was more of a glorified indoor swimming pool , but the claw foot bath was large and deep , and long enough for even someone as tall as him to recline in comfortably. Or even big enough for two, his brain supplied traitorously.

The problem was it was a luxuriously deep bath , wonderful for soaking away the aches and pains but on it's raised feet it came above his waist and up to his lower ribs... the girl couldn't even walk unassisted , there was no way she would be able to get into the tub alone.  
Come to think of it, she was starved, injured and practically catatonic... he could not leave her unattended , if she passed out she could easily drown.

There was nothing for it, he needed a woman's help, or at least a woman's supervision , lest it get out that he had a naked and vulnerable Hermione Granger in his quarters and he be branded a predator or lecher.

He was still considering his options when the floo began to chime in his office, shortly after which had him rushing in as there was a loud crash that followed.

She had been frightened when the floo had gone off , and had backed away as much as she could on the sofa, as her magic pushed a few items from shelves around her.

He reassured her that everything was alright , and she visibly relaxed as she caught sight of him , so he went to answer the floo.

* * *

**"Severus ? Severus are you there?"**

**"Yes Minerva, Blast it woman I'm here , though thanks to you frightening Miss Granger a few of my possessions are looking worse for wear"**

**"Och I'm sorry Severus , but I'm so worried about her , is she there? Can I speak to her ? I expected you all to be in the hospital wing and instead I find Poppy three sheets to the wind , with a half empty bottle of ogdens, crying and singing along to Warbeck !"**

Goddamnit Poppy, that was the exact night he had hoped for. Minus the singing and crying of course. Maybe. depends how much ogdens he had.

**"...and what I did manage to get to from her just didnt't...couldn't... be...Severus what's going on please ?"**

He sighed to himself , not many people knew that in many years past Minerva had buried a young daughter, he was one of the select few. Though Minvera was notoriously a mother hen to all her cubs (and one surly snake), Hermione had been as close to a daughter as the woman had ever had, there had been an instant bond between them , from the moment she had arrived to inform the Grangers of their daughters acceptance to Hogwarts.  
It seemed his prayers were answered , he wanted a woman and he got one, if only it was always that easy.

**"You had better come through Minerva... though I warn you, Miss Granger is exceedingly fragile , I will not have a repeat of that performance in the hall , there are things we must discuss first... Give me one moment to speak to Miss Granger and then step through"**

**"Of course Laddie, make sure you step back"**

He did as instructed and went to Hermione. He told her that Minerva was going to come through to speak to him, and to see her, she was trembling and nervous but she didn't look afraid like she had of Poppy.

A moment later and a flash of green tartan as Minverva stepped through the open floo and he went over to her grabbing the crook of her arm, and steering her away from the girl to the opposite side of the room before she could attempt something.

**"Severus... Merlin. what's going on , why has she not been healed yet it's been hours ?"**

He sighed and looked forlornly at Minerva before answering, the woman had been more of a mother to him than his own had.  
When Lupin had joined the staff she'd been furious when she found out just how much Albus had hidden from her of how the marauders had treated him at school , and always getting away with slaps on the wrist from her, as Albus had insisted that it was merely childish pranks, and not the true psychological torture and occasional beatings he'd endured at their hands.

She'd never been one to unfairly punish Slytherin students, and was one of the few staff to award points to his snakes as equally as she did to the other three houses, and likewise she did not shy away from deducting points from her own house when necessary , all in all she was as staunch an Ally as one could ask for. Though he had often bristled at her Mother-henpecking , there were times when she'd insisted on making sure he eat , sleep or take a break , and those times he couldn't help but feel a little bit appreciative that she took the time to mother him so, because god knows his own mother couldn't care less if his clothes were even clean or the right size, before packing him off for 9 months of the year.

He knew that the girl's abuse would devastate her , she'd see it as failing one of her cubs, and he wished there was something he could do to spare her, but alas he knew there was nothing.

**"Miss Granger has suffered greatly throughout her incarceration , she has some horrific injuries as well as a lot of...emotional...issues due to a number of...events...that she had endured, her state of mind is extremely fragile , and she has a number of... triggers...both verbal and physical, that cause an immediate and violent defensive responce from her"**

The Gryffindor Matriach was stood with one had arm still in his hold , and her other hand clasping over the green tartan sash at her heart.

**"Don't beat around the bush laddie , I saw how she reacted to me earlier , Hermione has always been so strong... to think what could break her like that... just tell it to me straight boy."**

**"Perhaps you should conjur somewhere for us to sit ?"**

He was loathe to admit any downfalls of his own but transfiguration had never been his strong point, despite his close friendship with the Transfiguration mistress before him, he was especially bad at conjuring a large object from a smaller one , so he deferred to her skill , lest his paltry attempt embarrass him in front of her, as she had found no end of amusement at having something that she bested him at.

She gave him a concerned look , but promptly conjured a chesterfield sofa for them, from a few pieces of broken glass. He rolled his eyes, honestly did she have to conjure such an impressive looking piece of furniture, in such a fabulous shade of Gryffindor red, really a pair of stools would have been fine.

They sat down facing each other as the witch worried at the sash of her robes.  
He rubbed his face with his hands, it was an oddly naked gesture for one that was so collected as he, and Minerva had noted it too, as she looked at him worriedly.

**"I'm not quite sure where to start"**

**"Then I'd say the beginning was as good a place as any Severus"**

**"Indeed"**

He breathed deeply and ran his hands through his hair , before he rested his head in his hands

The witch put her hand on his arm, much as Poppy had done and let out his breath in a deep exhale.

**"When you left us in the hall , for some unknown reason Miss Granger seemed to somewhat trust me , and was aided in the fact that I offered her an oath that I would not cause her any harm , once she accepted my oath , she allowed me to carry her to my quarters as she was unable to walk"**

**"But why your quarters? why not the hospital wing, or her rooms we set aside in the tower?"**

**"Yes...well... I began to discover a number of triggers, the first being an abject fear of the hospital wing when I mentioned our destination, initially I thought this left over from here stay here after the department of mysteries debacle** **...when taking her there ceased to be an option , I of course thought to take her to the tower, which when I brought it up, uncovered another abject fear of heights..."**

**"Hermione's always been afraid of flying, but she's never had trouble sleeping in the tower before now Severus?"**

**"Indeed... but it turns out that Miss Granger was housed in one of the _upper_  cells of azkaban, hence her desire now to keep herself as near to the ground as possible"**

**"The SKY cells ? they put her in the SKY CELLS!? But they're for..."**

**"Death eaters and dangerous criminals, yes...I am aware, that does not change the fact that they sent her there however"**

The woman beside him was furious, red faced and lips a thin line and looking ever part the vengeful mother , he waited for her to collect herself and continued when she offered him a terse nod.

**"Once she had calmed , I asked her if staying in my quarters in the dungeons would be more acceptable to her , to which she agreed, she also acquiesced to my request to carry her, as it was obvious she was too injured to walk there"**

Minerva looked as if she wanted to interrupt again but he quelled her with a reproachful look

" **When I got her to my quarters , I discovered she is afraid of having a wand drawn on her, and when I called upon Poppy to come and assist me in healing her, this is where things became difficult , Miss Granger through her actions made it very clear she was afraid of her..."**

Here Minerva couldn't help but interrupt.

" **But Poppy and Hermione are so close, she spent so much time working with her , why would she ?"**

 **"If you would kindly keep your comments to yourself Minerva and allow me to get through this bloody painful rehashing, I will explain all** "

The chastened witch flushed pink in her cheeks and gave him an abashed look

**"I'm sorry severus, of course continue"**

**"Quite... Miss Granger made it clear through her actions that she was extremely uncomfortable with Poppy's presence , and was uncomfortable with our wands, so we decided I would run wandless diagnostics, while Poppy Logged the injuries. We have been struggling with issues of quite volatile wild magic when she is agitated, so we were doing our best to keep her calm...Miss Granger's mind is in a very fragile state, she was very reluctant to allow us to asses her injuries and with Poppy's assistance, we discovered..."**

He paused, anger waring with nausea inside of him as the still raw feelings of rage and empathy rose within him.

 **"Severus ?"**  
Minerva questioned him quietly, she seemed to be dreading the hearing of it as much as he was dreading the telling of it.

**"...We'd had concerns that Miss Granger had yet at this point to verbally** **say anything to us, and had been communicating with visual gestures, and upon more in depth scans by Poppy we discovered...we discovered that"**

He dropped his head into his hands once more.

**"They knocked out & broke a number of her teeth , and then she had the remains violently extracted , from what Poppy says it was quite early in her stay , and then a couple of days before she was released they...they...they cut out her tongue"**

Minerva was so pale she would have been able to contend for Gryffindor ghost alongside Sir Nicholas.

**"We knew that getting her to allow Poppy to attend to her would be difficult, and as Poppy had to repair the damage before she could regrow her teeth, I offered to have the procedure done first, so that she could see it was nothing to fear, During a highly charged moment following this, she pushed her thoughts towards me and I was able to see through legillimency ,the reason for her fear of Poppy. It seems there is corruption abound at Azkaban as the mediwitch there was responsible for the torturous removal of her teeth, during which she was petrified instead of stupefied so she was able to feel the whole thing throughout"**

**"That's barbaric...those animals! I will skin tha hides if ever I git hold of em ! "**

**"I'm afraid there's a line"**

Minerva was silent for a while , she was seething with anger and fighting tears at the same time.

**"And what of the...other...events that you mentioned Severus"**

**"There are...two... other events that I am aware of , one more incident with the mediwitch , I am unclear of the details of the event but it was very emotionally and physically painful for her and..."**

How did he tell her ? How could he tell this woman that was also somewhat of a mother figure to himself , that her favourite cub had been sexually assaulted, and possibly more...

**"and...? I can tell from the look on ye face laddie that's ima not going ta like what ye have to say"**

**"I am unsure how much further it has gone...but I know of at least one instance where Miss Granger was assaulted by an inmate"**

**"Assault...Severus he didn't"**

**"He did not force intercourse on her no, but he did... _ahem_...force her to her knees and..."**

**"Say no more boy, I don't need to hear it...och the poor wee bairn , do you believe it could've gone further than that ?"**

**" I don't know for certain Minerva, I would like to think that was the extent of it , but somehow given her current condition I doubt that it was"**

**"And... what is your plan now boy ? "**

**"Honestly...I do not know... Poppy said she needs to be assessed and that I should do so as I clean her up , but even though she seems comfortable with me , I did not want to take such liberties with her person , and as Poppy is not an option I was just about to floo you when you called , as I believe that it would be more proper for a woman to be present. She will be taking skelegro to regrow her teeth before she goes to bed, and though we know that she has no immediately life-threatening injuries, if she has a broken or dislocated bone , it must be set right before she takes the skelegro."**

**"You're a good man Severus... anyone that knows you , _truly_  knows you , knows you would never take advantage of the girl."**

He couldn't put into words how the trust from her made him feel.

**"What of... what of her...tongue?"**

**"The tongue was cut out the muggle way, with a blade and not a severing hex , it can be regrown but according to poppy, there will be a scar and it will never be the same, as the wound is a few days old it has begun to heal , so the scar tissue will need to be debrided before a new tongue can be regrown , and the musclegro cannot be taken with the skelegro , we decided that the teeth were more a priority as they were causing more pain that then tongue."**

**"Then it seems we have our work cut out for us aye laddie ?"**

**"Indeed"**

**"Well , just so that I am certain , run me by the hard no's we have so far before I say or do something to upset the bairn"**

**"Quite...The most important ones would be No mention of mediwitches or hospital wings , try to avoid physical contact unless you are sure she is accepting of it, likewise do not raise your wand at her unless you have her express permission...and don't mention making deals of any kind"**

He got a questioning look at that , to which he answered it was not his story to tell , and he was not about to break her trust , to his relief the gryffindor accepted it .

As one they rose and slowly made their way to the girl on the sofa.

* * *

He noticed the palor of her skin seemed to have gotten a little paler, and was now milky white and he was once more concerned about the blood loss as he remembered Poppy's words to make sue to give her a blood replenisher as he looked at the rust coloured marks upon his sofa.

Signaling for Minerva to stay stood where she was, a few paces away from the sofa, he approached her and once again knelt before her. She was silent unresponsive to his presence, sweat was beading on her forehead and she trembled as she scratched herself. Dammit he really needed to get a fever reducer in her aswell.

**"Hermione ? I have Minerva here with me... Professor McGonnagol"**

He got a slight flicker of recognition at that , as her amber eyes flicked to meet his.

**"You remember Professor McGonnagol yes ?"**

He got a small nod at that , though he could see she was still occluding , at least she was responsive.

**"Minerva was very worried about you , she wanted to be here to help me heal you , and was going to start by helping you get that warm bath I mentioned, does that sound acceptable to you ?"**

She quickly glanced at Minerva , and he noticed an almost longing look in her eyes , before she turned away once more , tugging at her sleeves to try and cover more of herself as she frowned softly.

**"Hey...none of that , you have nothing to be ashamed of , Minerva wants to help you and just like me there is nothing that she blames you for , or will feel less of you for"**

**"Och it's true lass , I dinnae care what's been done to ye , you'll always be my cub bairn , I'm so sorry for earlier you just took me by suprise is all , I didnae know what ye'd bin through but I'll never think less of ye lass, i could ne'er."**

Minvera's accent always got thicker when she was emotional , and he'd never seen the stoic scot so close to tears.

Grabbing her robes so she could move quicker , she dropped to her knees beside him and gently placed her hand upon the girls cheek.

**"I only want to help ye lass, I'll always be there for ye, no matter what"**

The tears that were building in hermione's eyes broke free and traced down her cheeks and though she averted her gaze she gently placed her injured hand atop Minervas.

When she did that, the tears in Minerva's eyes broke free aswell and he was reminded of the great tabby cat she was as she rested her head on the girls , forehead to forehead in that feline gesture of love and affection.

**"You're one of mine in all but blood lass, and I'll never not be there for ye, understand ?"**

More tears and a soft nod , she still could not meet her gaze ,but neither did she let go of her hand.

It was only then he noticed that her other hand was gripping tightly onto his , and would not let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Aaaand it's finished, the longest chapter yet !
> 
> We tackle the bath in the next chapter, what more injuries will be revealed ? 
> 
>  
> 
> I should warn that certain characters will not be shown in a positive light in this story, so if you are averse to some bashing, especially of RW or APWBD , I'd avoid this fic.
> 
> Thank you for your continued input, your reviews are what keep me going.
> 
> Please let me know what you think


	13. Chapter 13

_**"You're one of mine in all but blood lass, and I'll never not be there for ye, understand ?"** _

_More tears and a soft nod , she still could not meet her gaze ,but neither did she let go of her hand._

_It was only then he noticed that her other hand was gripping tightly onto his , and would not let go._

_cont._

* * *

As she held tightly to his hand, he remembered Poppy's words about dehydration. Her skin was dry in his hand underneath the blood and grime , he remembered the test he'd been taught as a child at school , instead of pinching her skin as he was taught , he gently pushed with his thumb on the back of her hand and sure enough the skin did not snap back into place as it should in a normal hydrated person.

Now that her teeth and raw nerves were removed, she should be able to eat and drink without pain, though how much of her starvation and dehydration were from her own abstaining due to pain he did not know , were she not in any pain it would not have surprised him, given what he'd seen so far, if they were denying her food and drink anyway.

He summoned one of his shot glasses , they were larger than a standard shot glass but not as large as a whiskey tumbler, and he filled it with room temperature water with a quick aguamenti , as well as a very small amount of sugar, to replace her missing electrolytes. He would have liked to give her more, and give her refreshing cold water as well , but he knew that too much and she was liable to vomit after being denied for so long , and icy cold water would be a shock to her system , especially with the fever she seemed to be running. No, better to give her smaller amounts frequently, now the pain of her teeth were gone , than to give her a glass full and have her vomit it up.

**"Before we move to the bathroom , can you drink this water for me , in small sips ?"**

She looked longingly yet hesitantly at the glass in his hand , and he understood her concern.

**"The old exposed nerves were removed when Poppy removed the broken fragments of teeth, there should be no pain from that area Hermione"**

She reached a shaky hand out and he realised she was liable to lose half of the glass on the way to her mouth with the way she was shaking.

**"Here, allow me to assist you."**

He moved to sit next to her on the sofa, and Minerva brought the other chair over to sit close to her , he could tell she would have liked to sit closer , perhaps on the other side of her on the sofa , but she made her choice so as the girl did not feel boxed in and he was grateful for it.

He moved awkwardly , as though she had released Minerva's hand when she stood she had yet to let go of his, and he had to twist around ungracefully to sit beside her without letting go of it , he ended up on her left hand side, with his right arm around her shoulders , as her right hand held onto his right hand.

He raised the glass slightly to her in his left hand before asking.

**"Would you prefer me to conjure a straw ?"**

She took a moment to consider, her eyes not leaving the glass in his hand, and then she nodded.

He conjured a simple straw , making sure it was not too big as to allow her to drink too quickly.

She took a breath then took a small sip... and almost immediately after began to cough and gag. Luckily he had expected that , and quickly passed her the bucket he had conjured for that eventuality , as she coughed up the blood tinged water into the bucket.

Her shoulders shook and tears ran down her face in embarrassment and shame.

**"Ssh it's alright , I expected that might happen , blood is a natural emetic and I am guessing that while your mouth was so dry , you were unable to taste it , the water awoke the taste buds and the blood set off your gag reflex, that is all , it's nothing to be ashamed of"**

She was still upset he could tell , but she had nodded in acceptance of his words and moved to lean into him more.

He filled the glass once more , and held it to her lips as he widened the straw temporarily.

**"This time , I want you to take a mouthful of water, swill your mouth out, and then spit it into the bucket ok ? try to hold it in your mouth as long as you can, but do not swallow"**

She seemed to colour slightly at the cheeks in embarrassment , as much as she was able to in her current state anyway , but she nodded to him anyway.

Once more she took a slightly larger mouthful of water and was able to hold it and swill for a few seconds before gagging and having to spit it out in the bucket, and it still came away tinged red with blood.

He continued in this way , glass after glass until the water was no longer tinged with blood, and she was able to hold it in her mouth without gagging.

Narrowing the straw once more, her offered her the shot glass again, once more filled with tepid water and a very small amount of sugar.

**"OK , let's try it again , small sip once more alright? pause and when you feel ready , take another."**

Minerva had stayed silent throughout, just offering her comforting presence to the girl without pushing for anything, and he was once more grateful for her sound judgement.

She took a breath to brace herself, then took a small sip and swallowed. He could tell the minute it hit her stomach as he eyes slammed shut and she squeezed his hand.

**"It's alright, just breath steadily through your nose, don't get worked up... just stay calm and it will pass"**

He stayed rubbing her arm as she breathed through the feeling of nausea as her empty stomach reacted to the first drink she'd had in god knows how long.

A few moments passed as she fought her body's reaction , and eventually she calmed down enough to open her eyes and give him a small nod.

**"Ready ?"**

He asked as he raised the glass again , and once more she nodded and took a sip of the water.

it took less time for her stomach to settle this time , and after a few moments she was nodding for the glass once more.

When she only had a third of the glass left, he summoned a blood replenisher and added a small dose to the remaining water.

**"You will have more of this later, but I would like for you to have a small amount now , you have been losing a lot of blood and I do not know how long it will take to see to your other injuries"**

A few tears escaped at that , but she nodded anyway.

She was able to take the remaining water and blood replenisher dose over two more sips and when she had finished to glass she looked at him and gave him a very small almost smile.

He couldn't help but smile back at her , even if it did feel strange with his new teeth.

**"Well done Miss Granger"**

The small almost smile became a small real smile at that.

* * *

He was glad that with Poppy gone and replaced by Minerva , she was much more grounded and responsive , he hoped she would be able to stay that way through what was to come.

Minerva managed to persuade her to let go of his hand , so that he could begin her bath, and she only did so under strict assurances that he would return and not leave his quarters.

He set the bath to running , he knew women for some insane reason liked their bath's ridiculously hot , but he ran the water as fairly warm but not hot. He did not fancy aggravating any injuries. He also added murtlap essence to the water, it would relieve pain without healing , he did not want to heal any wounds, even the smallest cuts , without cleaning them first , the last thing he needed was to inadvertently heal a cut with some dirt underneath and cause an infection , if she did not already have one that is.

He returned to the room to find a nervous Hermione sat on the sofa with Minvera sat beside her, once again she was not touching her, just offering her silent supportive presence.

Looking at the filty overalls he made a descion and turned into his bed quarters, returning a moment later with a black button down shirt, and a pair of black shorts.

**"The Auror's failed to bring Miss Granger's possesions that she arrived with , would you be able to transfigure these to fit Minerva?... if they are acceptable to you of course Miss Granger ?"**

He had to flight the flush on his face as he offered her the clothes in his hands , he had expected her to be disgusted but instead she seemed relieved and nodded almost at once , his expression softened as he addressed her.

**"I assumed once you remove that which you are wearing, you might take some pleasure in incedio-ing it , and then would need something else to wear?"**

Her breathing hitched as she looked down at what she was wearing but nodded once more. He walked into the bathroom and turned off the now full tub , and placed the clean clothes on a counter as he got a number of towels ready, before taking a deep breath and returning to the women.

Hermione was trembling once again and he returned to kneeling in front of her, he asked Minerva to take the chair into the bathroom , and he addressed the girl in front of him.

**"I must ask you again ,if you are content to allow me to carry you ?"**

She looked into his eyes and nodded once more , even as hers shone with tears and her body trembled with the effort to keep them at bay.

He lifted her easily in his arms and held her to his chest , her honey curls tucked just below his chin , how well she fit in his arms he thought in passing , before desperately pushing that thought away.

They arrived in the bathroom and he placed her on the seat, and was thankful to see Minvera had transfigured it to be more comfortable for the injured girl.

He knelt in front of her as she worried at the front of her robes.

 **"This is how I thought we might do this"**  he started as he summoned a small handtowel and passed it to her

**"If it is agreeable to you , I will lift you into the tub , once you are in there , I will remove the robe with a spell... and you can keep your...ahem...undergarments on , and also use the towel to cover yourself when needed, Minerva can stay to ensure your safety, and I will return once you are ready to be lifted out the tub"**

That almost flush was on her face again as she once again looked shamed and shook her head no.

**" No ? would your prefer if Minerva alone assisted you ?"**

Her head shook once more and she held his hand to emphasise that he was not the problem.

**"I don't understand Hermione... have you changed your mind about the bath?"**

Once again she shook her head no and before he could try to piece together her answer she gently reached up and pushed the neck of her robes to the side slightly, wincing in pain as she did so, until he could see her bare and bruised shoulder.

She was flushed now and looked both devastated and mortified at the same time. He didn't understand what she was trying to tell him , but fortunately Minerva did.

**"Her shoulder's bare severus"**

**"what ?"**

**"There's no strap"**

**"Strap ?"**

_Was this some sort of female code ?_

**"Why would she need a strap on her shoulder..oh merlin"**

He blushed in mortification as he realised the implication of Minerva's words.

**"No strap, no bra severus, she's not got undergarments"**

**"Yes thank you Minerva , I have worked that out"**

The girl hastily pushed the robe back into place and looked beyond mortified.

**"Right...well.."**

firstly he took the handtowel and traded it for a much larger bath towel , which he held out to her, she took it once more with a wince and he questioned her on it.

**"It hurts to move your arms doesn't it ?"**

She nodded sadly in responce, twisting the towel in her hands.

**"Can you reach your back, or put your arms above chest level , or reach down to your legs ?"**

She shook her head in the negative.

**"Is it your ribs?"**

She nodded once more.

He sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands before looking from Minerva to her.

**" I can give you a pain potion , to make it easier for you... but then we would have to wait until tomorrow to use the skelegro for your teeth and any other bones than need mending."**

She shook her head no , he knew the missing teeth were causing her a lot of anguish , and she was obviously willing to endure the pain to get the teeth back sooner.

**"Would you be comfortable allowing Minerva to help you bathe ? or I could summon a house elf ?"**

Once again she shook her head no, he wasn't suprised, it was one thing to have someone in the room with you to ensure you don't drown, it was another for your pseudo mother to wash your back for you.

**"I am struggling to find a solution Hermione, I cannot in all good conscience leave you alone , you're not in any fit state and I don't want anything to happen to you"**

She looked from Minerva to him , and then with a deep breath very carefully placed her hand atop his.

**"...Me? Surely you do not want me to assist you?"**

She just nodded slowly. He turned to Minerva.

**"Minerva... I ... It wouldn't be proper for me to..."**

**"Severus , the bairn's made her mind up... she obviously trusts ye , besides... if I were to do it, it'd be like having her mam there... it's her choice to make , no one can say that ye forced anything lad, because it was her that came up with the idea"**

**"Can you...transfigure the robes into undergarments for her?"**

**"Not wandlessly, and not those prison robes either... there's magic dampening woven into them when they're made, same as the cuffs"**

He scrubbed his face in his hands once more , as he considered his options.

**"I'll leave you two to it for now , and I'll make a start on putting your room to rights, if you need me for anything then you know where I am laddie"**

As he watched in silence, Minerva left the room and he was once again alone with the girl

* * *

She was still sat on the chair , and he was still knelt at her feet , it was not the first time tonight he had been placed so , but it was the first time he noted that she was also barefoot... considering the sharp volcanic rock that made up most of Azkaban her feet were probably torn to shreds , he wasn't surprised that she was struggling to walk.

Once more he heaved a deep breath and looked at her , she met his gaze and the soft honey eyes filled his vision , even as the purple bruises marring her face sickened him.

**"Are you sure this is what you want Hermione ? I would not be offended if you changed your mind and would prefer Minerva to assist you , or a house elf ?"**

She had tears in her eyes still , but nodded to him.

**"And are you sure you do not want the pain relief ? If you were to at least take the pain relief , you would be able to attend to yourself and you would not need to be exposed in front of me...I do not mean to be crude with you, nor make you uncomfortable, but you must be clean before I can asses and heal you , and if you are not mobile enough to do it yourself ,then I will have to do it for you... are you absolutely certain this is what you want?"**

She trembled and looked down at her feet, but she did not let go and once more she held tightly to his hand as she nodded to him.

_Merlin help him._

**"Ok then , can you stand just for a moment ?"**

He stood in front of her not letting go of her hand, as she raised to her feet with his assistance, he thought he might have to enlarge the bath towel as he put it around her and summoned another to wait on the chair , but once again he was reminded of exactly how small the girl was as the deep black towel wrapped fully around her with some to spare.

**"Can you hold onto that towel for me ?"**

She grasped it in her hands in front of her, the deep black of the towel doing nothing but highlight the ghostly palor of her skin.

**"I will do what I can to respect your...privacy... as much as I can in the circumstances , but this will have to come off , and I need to examine you as we go along...I thought it might be prudent due to your lack of...underthings...to vanish the robe , piece at a time as we go along, rather than removing it as a whole, to give you time to...adjust... as we progress...would this be acceptable?"**

Tears were once again in her eyes but she nodded her head once more.

_Brave little gryffindor_

**"I am going to lift you into the bath now, if at any time from now you wish to stop, I want you to squeeze my shoulder, if you just need a moment then squeeze my arm, when you are ready to carry on them squeeze my hand, alright ?"**

Another nod , and she squeezed his hand

**"Good girl"**

Lifting her gently he allowed her a moment to secure the towel around herself, and waited until she was ready before slowly lowering her into the bath. She flinched when her body hit the water , and gripped his arm tightly.

**"Alright...it's ok...does it hurt ?"**

She nodded and squeezed his arm once more , her other arm holding tightly to the towel. He was in a awkward position that was doing his back no favours , as he held her partially suspended in the water.

**"There's murtlap essence in the water, in a few moments it should kick in and take the edge off the pain"**

Another nod, even as her eyes were screwed shut and her hand tight on his arm.

After a few moments , her eyes relaxed and she gave his hand a squeeze and he lowered her the rest of the way into the tub.

**"Is the pain more tolerable now ?"**

She huffed a short breath , that he realised was probably a suppressed snort, but nodded anyway.

_Stupid question Severus... as if a bit of murtlap essence is going to take away much of the pain she must be feeling_

**"I am sorry...Hermione"**

She met his eyes with a question in hers , as he wandlessley conjured a jug for water

**"I am...Ill prepared, and for the most part... making it up as I go along... I was not...we were not, expecting you to be so... hurt ... and I cannot help but feel as though I am not making things any easier for you by being so unprepared and clumsy"**

His statement was full of self loathing , he blamed himself for her condition , how much less would she have suffered if he had removed her from azkaban a week ago when he wanted to ? How much damage could he be doing to her psyche and her recovery by his clumsiness and lack of finesse in handling her in her fragile state.

He was shocked out of his reverie by a hand placed in his and those whiskey eyes focused on his ebony ones, as she gently shook her head and once again squeezed his hand with a small almost smile.

He placed the jug in the bath water to fill it , trying not to think how close it brought his hand to her leg.

**"Let us start as we did earlier, from the top...with the hair shall we?...I do not doubt that you will have to be the one to tame it when you are feeling better in a few days but for now we shall at least clean it yes ?"**

She nodded and gave him a small look of relief, which was what he had hoped for , her dirty and matted hair was not exactly important but he hoped that his cleaning of it would serve a dual purpose, to relax her and make her feel a bit more human , and to get her accustomed to his presence around her person

She closed her eyes and looked forward as he tipped the jug over her head, and hid his grimace at the filthy colour of the water as it ran down and off her. He set up a charm on the water to vanish any dirt as it hit the water , there was no point allowing her to sit in a veritable soup of grime as he washed her, and he did not fancy draining and re-running the bath multiple times either.

More and more marks and bruises were becoming apparent around her neck and the tops of her shoulders as the water from her hair rinsed off some of the dirt and grime on her skin , as the water finally ran clear he gently moved her hair to the the side to rinse her neck and instantly froze.

He felt her stiffen underneath him , as anger coursed through his veins as he ran his finger across the disfiguring mark along the back of her neck.

She whimpered and tried to move away from him , but he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder

**"Do not...it is not your fault , they should not have done so"**

_But they did_ \- the answer was clear in her plaintive look as tears dripped down her face.

Gently rubbing her shoulder as she shook with sobs...he stared in fury at the runes and azkaban prisoner number that had been tattooed permanently on her porcelain skin , every bit as dark and insidious as the mark on his arm.

The 3 runes chosen to accompany the prisoner number were making his blood boil as their significance was not lost on him, the tattoos were a warning to anyone that might see them, whereas most high level prisoners were marked with the runes for Danger, Harm and Death... hers were different... and he gazed in fury at the runes marking her... for Lust, Ownership... and Cattle.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: / Thank you so much guys for your continued support, please review , I love to read your opinions good or bad and I welcome anyone to PM me if they want to discuss or share ideas about the story !


	14. Chapter 14

_The 3 runes chosen to accompany the prisoner number were making his blood boil as their significance was not lost on him, the tattoos were a warning to anyone that might see them, whereas most high level prisoners were marked with the runes for Danger, Harm and Death... hers were different... and he gazed in fury at the runes marking her... for Lust, Ownership... and Cattle._

_Cont._

* * *

His blood boiled, he felt nauseous and angry and once more felt the strange rushing sensation that had overwhelmed him when he had first found out about her imprisonment.

They had marked her,  _permanently_ marked her... as a whore, not even that...as an object of lust, less than a person, to be owned like cattle. Any hopes he had remaining that she had not been subjected to more forceful assaults than what he had already witnessed, had died when he'd seen the rune for lust burned into her skin.

She was still crying softly and he summoned another of his shot-glasses of mildly sugary water, she was dehydrated enough without the constant tears.

"Here...drink , small sips again"

He held the glass with the straw level to her face, so she would not have to let go of the towel she was clutching and watched as she took a few breaths to get control of herself , before taking a sip of the water.

"Good... we will continue when you have finished your drink"

She was looking to him for support, he'd realised. She had reacted most emotionally when he did, when the anger boiled inside of him when he discovered her mistreatment, she was upset and it seemed that she was concerned more about his opinion of her than her own state of injury. He knew women that had been assaulted often felt at fault , dirty... somehow less. He vowed to control his emotions more , he did not want her thinking that his anger was aimed at her.  
He had to be strong for her sake.

She finished the drink quicker than the first time, and he was gently rubbing her back in a sooth manner, until she reached up and gave his hand a squeeze.

Pleased that she had remembered his code , he continued rinsing her hair and neck , he did not want her thinking he was repulsed by what he had seen , so he made sure to rinse her neck where the tattoo/brand was. She flinched at first but when he showed no signs of being bothered in the least by the mark , she soon relaxed once more, even if the occasional tear ran down her face.

* * *

Considering how upsetting the revelation of the mark was, he decided instead of working from the top down , he would first work at what was already uncovered before he began to remove the robes.

Summoning a wash cloth , he waited until he had her attention then addressed her.

"I thought I might begin with your hands and lower arms , is that acceptable ?"  _I thought you might like some time before we start getting into more uncomfortable territory_

She did not need to be told to read between the lines and nodded in gratitude , as her damp and wild curls clung to her porcelain skin.

Soaping the cloth up with a very mild soap he gently lifted her left arm into his hands, as he began to wash away the blood and grime.

The filtration charm on the water paid off , as he slowly worked the black grime and rusty dried blood from her arm.

_She's so thin, I could fit my hand around her arm_

There was a number of scratches, bruises and other wounds on her arm, but nothing that seemed too serious and it didn't seem like the arm was broken either, but when he got to her hand it was a different story.

She flinched as he moved from her wrist to her hand , and his ebony gaze snapped to hers.

"Painful ?"

She nodded in responce and made a move to pull her hand away, but he held her gently but firmly.

"Let me see"

She was clearly upset , but acquiesced.

Cleaning her hand, he made sure not to show any outward signs of anger so as not to upset the fragile witch

_Fucking animals_

A number of fingers were broken , most likely the small bones in her hand too and at least one finger was dislocated. Some of her nails were roughly broken , as though she'd been clawing at the stone wall and he dreaded finding out what had caused that.

"Is the other side the same ?"

Attempting to keep his voice detatched, clinical , giving no outwards signs of his anger.

A small whimper was his answer , and he knew what that meant.

_It's worse._

"With your permission , I should be able to heal most of this side now, now that it is clean ? "

She nodded to him albeit reluctantly and he understood her concern.

"I can do most of this wandlessly, the scratches etc but this.." he gestured to her dislocated finger, "I will need my wand to reset, the skelegro will fix the bones tonight, but it must be put back into place"

She shuddered when he mentioned using his wand , but she took time to measure the weight of his words and then accepted with a terse nod.

"Vulnera Sedentur" He sung the healing charm as he gently stroked his hand down her arm , the skin to skin contact helping to focus the wandless spell on the mostly superficial cuts and wounds , and he also gently touched his fingertips to hers to try and ease some inflammation around her broken nails and damaged nail beds. It would not heal the nails , though the skelegro might do that later... but it would reduce the inflammation and irritation to the nail beds.

Making a tactical descion he decided to leave the dislocated finger until he had assessed her other hand and arm, that way if there were more healing spells that were going to be needed to be done with a wand, he could do them all in one fell swoop.

Once again as he cleaned her right arm this time , there were numerous scrapes and injuries to her arm , but the hand was much much worse than the other.

_Fucking inbred Hippogriff-fuckers_

Her right hand was definitely broken , the wrist too by the looks of the dark mottled bruising in the shape of a hand. All of her fingers were broken , and all save her pinky and thumb, were broken at the joint too... judging by the bruising on the back of her hand

_Some big bastard in his boots stamped on her hand_

Sighing internally he once again began to sing his healing charm as gently stroked down her arms. He was amazed how the tenacious little thing had been able to grip onto him with the state of her hands, with the thick layer of dirt and grime it had hidden the colour and swelling and he had no idea they were as damaged as they had been.

When he got to her hand he once again ran his fingers gently over hers to heal the nails and nail beds, before he spoke to her.

"Well then... I have done as much as I can , the Skelegro tonight will do the rest, but we must make sure the bones are in the right place for it to do it's job... I need to reset the finger on your left hand , and I need to do most of your fingers on this hand... I also need to run a scan to make sure that the bones in your hand and wrist are in the right place to be healed.. the charm to reset the bones is episkey, I am sure you're familiar, and the scan is a simple one...do I have your permission to continue ?"

There was no responce for a while , and she seemed to be counting her breaths in and out as she began to control her breathing. Eventually though, she met his eyes and gave a small nod.

"Thank you , Hermione."

Cradling her left hand in his , he quickly and efficiently cast the episkey on the dislocated finger, even as his stomach lurched at the sickening crack as it snapped back into place.

A loud whimper broke from her and she quickly brought her hand back and cradled it to her chest.

"I apologise... If I could relieve you from the pain I would , does it feel better now ?"

After a few moments of cradling the injured hand to her chest she slowly let it drop back to her side as the initial pain of the movement faded into the relief of the  _lack of_  pain from the finger being out of joint. He'd had a few dislocations in his time, and the pain and the sickening feel of _wrongness_  was horrendous, he was able to heal himself within a few hours usually, and couldn't imagine the extended suffering she had been through with the bones out of joint for Merlin knows how long.

He hoped there would be no lasting tendon, nerve or ligament damage due to it being out of place so long , but he knew only time would tell. Eventually she nodded to him and offered him a weak pained smile.

Continuing with her other hand, and controlling his emotions as he cradled the injured limb, _seriously some parts of her hand were bruised as black as his hair!_

He ran the scans and sure enough the bones in her wrist were where they should be, but one of the small bones in her hand had moved.

"I know that you do not wish to be restrained, and I respect that but this bone here..." he indicated to the swelling in the centre of her hand

"...This bone is out of place and needs to be reset , along with most of your fingers , let us get it done in quick succession and then it will be over... the more time you take to dwell on it, the worse the pain will be...what do you say"

She whimpered but nodded , and to his surprise she lent forward and buried her face into the ebony coat at his shoulder and trustingly offered him her hand.

Swallowing down the tightness in his chest at her display of trust , he once again cradled her hand in his as he raised his wand with the other.

"Episkey"

Her whimper was muffled into his frock coat, and as he moved from her hand to each finger, he felt each jerk of her body and the wetness of her tears soaking into his cloak.

"Episkey"

"Episkey"

Wishing he could cast the charm nonverbally, as he felt her tense each time he said the incantation , he knew that accuracy was too important for this spell , to risk doing it wordless.

Soon he was done resetting all the bones in her hand , and her breathing had relaxed as the release of endorphins came , as the blessed relief of having the joints back in place washed through her.

* * *

Her head was still resting on his chest , and he was running a soothing hand over her hair.

_If only I could take all your hurts onto myself I would do it little one, I would take them threefold just to spare you the pain_

Loathe to move her when she seemed so at peace, he knew they had to continue , but he couldn't bare to let go of her just yet.

Summoning the washcloth, he gently tipped her head up until she was looking at him , and he began to gently clean her face with it , as delicately as if he was handling a newborn babe.

He ran the washcloth in gentle sweeps around her face and she closed her eyes to his ministrations.

There was a deep gash in her lip , it was split in mutlipe places but he knew that the biggest one would probably scar.

Using his thumb , he whispered the healing charm as he gently moved his thumb to trace her bottom lip as the now clean wounds began to seal themselves.

Sure enough once sealed most looked like they would continue to heal with no issue, but the largest would leave a scar.

She'd smiled a little when he'd gently traced her lip with his thumb , so using his finger he carried on in the same way.

Her nose had been broken but thankfully it was not out of place, she would not have the suffer the indignity of a mishaped nose, the skelegro would heal it but he ran his fingers gently down the bridge so the deep cut sealed itself , that too he was concerned might scar.

Mindful of the fractures to her eye socket and cheek bones, he gently smoothed his thumbs over them , it would do nothing for the bones but his whispered healing spells would reduce the swelling and hopefully give her some relief.

A soft sigh from her made him realise just how close they were, she head rested on his chest, he cupping her face as he stared into her honey gaze, they were merely inches apart.

Something was there between them in that moment, he felt the oath as a living thing pulsing between them, and it suddenly occurred to him that it didn't pain him, as all his others had. In fact he recalled the tingly yet pleasant sensation, that rushed through him when he made the oath to her, and that he also felt now, ...all the other oaths he'd made, to the dark lord and albus had itched and burrowed their way in like insects and felt like he had ants swarming under his skin. With his oath to her, and their current closeness, it felt almost...pleasant, comforting, like the ticklish and hypersensitive sensation of pins and needles when feeling rushes back to a limb after being asleep for so long.

* * *

He held her for a short while, realising she needed the comfort as much as she needed to be healed, but he could not hold her forever and they had more work to do.

Thankful for the charmed bath, as otherwise the water would have gone cold by now, he began gently releasing her from his arms, she went reluctantly,  _and wasn't that novel? a witch that wished to stay within his embrace_ , she settled back in the bath grasping on to the towel once more.

Deciding to continue healing as much as he could without removing anything , he moved to wash her feet.

As he cradled her small,  _but perfect ,_  feet in one hand as he washed them with the other, he suddenly realised that this action was utterly decadent in a way, and one he would have desperately enjoyed in any other circumstances. From the look she was giving him, she was just as conflicted

Once the action had been repeated on the other side, he knew he needed to start healing her. As he had expected, her feet were lacerated and swollen from walking barefoot in the accumulated filth of azkaban, but fortunately nothing was broken as he stared at her feet.

_focus on healing her severus and not how cute her toes are_

"I must use a spell to remove any foreign bodies from the wounds in the soles of your feet, I can do it wandlessly but it will feel uncomfortable, so prepare yourself"  
He waited for her to steady herself and when she signalled that she was ready, he began the spell, once again grateful for the filtration spell as the bits of dirt and rock disappeared when they hit the water.

Running his hand over her soles to check he hadn't missed anything, he was startled when she suddenly twitched violently, he thought he'd hurt her until he saw the slight quirk of her lip... _Ticklish Miss Granger ?_

"Once you are out of the bath, I have a topical cream that can heal most of this"

He began to work his way up her legs when suddenly she twitched away so violently in responce that she nearly caught him, and when he went to meet her eyes thinking he had terrified her, she looked away and was flushed instead in embarrassment.

_Why the hell would she be bothered about her legs..._

He caught a glimpse of her thoughts before she fleetingly snapped them under control and he choked back a laugh, which would not have been appropriate at this stage.

"Miss Granger, please tell me that you did not nearly knee me in the chin because you are concerned about not having shaved your legs?"

Her face was practically fuschia now, and he thanked himself that he had given her the blood replenisher, as obviously even the small dose had made a difference.

He couldn't help it, it was a horrible situation, the girl fresh out of prison, abused and assaulted and she was upset by something as banal as having hairy legs.

He chuckled.

She shot him a glare, and for a moment he was pleased to see a bit of fire return to her, only to promptly be shocked out his mental discussion with himself by her splashing the bath water in his face.

He returned her glare as the water dripped down his nose and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"You get that once... next time I retaliate" she just smiled in responce

* * *

His playful mood soured when he moved up her legs, though he tried not to show it so as not to upset her, his internal anger rose when he came to her bruised and abraded knees. He did not need to wonder why they were damaged so, after the memory he'd seen of her that he hoped had been a one off.

Judging by the dark bruises and scrapes that his cleaning was revealing, she had spent a lot of time on her knees on the harsh stone floor.

She had tensed when he moved to her knees, her lightened mood also falling dramatically, when he looked at her she was once again looking desolate and worrying at the skin on her arm.

Gently reaching forward to grasp her hand and halt her movements he spoke to her in a quiet tone

"Stop that, you'll hurt yourself, and I don't want to have to heal your arms again"

She huffed a breath and had a look on her face that he could not decipher, worry and something else, but she stopped when he asked her to.

He used the same spell on her knees that he had done on her feet, to remove the dirt and grit from the wounds and then he sat back on his heels at the side of the bath as she met his nervous look with her own.

He had run out of exposed skin to heal... now he had to start removing her robes.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank's for your continued support guys, please leave me your reviews x


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: There will be some very graphic descriptions and themes in this chapter
> 
> if you have not been put off by the warning so far, remember this will be a very DARK story , there's going to be a lot of Angst, a lot of warnings and some taboo themes too - You've been warned !

 

* * *

_he sat back on his heels at the side of the bath as she met his nervous look with her own._

_He had run out of exposed skin to heal... now he had to start removing her robes._

_Cont._

* * *

_Well Shite._

He sat for a moment longer trying to bring up the nerve to move on, and in the mean time summoned her another glass of water for her to sip while he bided his time.

She seemed to be nervous, but not overly so and he decided to tackle the matter head on, like the muggle phrase about taking off a plaster*...just rip it off and get it over with.

Standing up, maybe a little too quickly as she jumped in shock, he swore to himself then apologised to her.

"Apologies...I thought it best if we get this over with, neither of us is looking forward to the next part and I thought perhaps we try to get through this as quickly as we can, so that we can get you out of this tub and into some clean clothes ?"

Her lip was trembling and there were tears in her eyes but she nodded glumly anyway, his expression softened in an instant and he crouched to her level, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and the other under her chin to bring up her gaze.

"I do not mean to upset you or rush you, if you prefer then we can take as long as you need to feel comfortable. I meant what I said earlier, if you need me to stop at any point then I will , and If at any point you would prefer someone other than me...I will not be offended. I admit I am still making it up as I go along, I do not wish to cause you any undue grief"

Sniffling she shook her head and brought her hand up to rest upon his on her shoulder and just stayed there for a moment.

"When you're ready then"

She nodded to him and after a fortifying breath, moved her hand to squeeze his.

* * *

"Very well...perhaps...yes... If I were to split the robe into two at the middle...perhaps that would be easier? that way we would be able to finish cleaning you underneath it, without yet removing it...then I can finish examining and healing you when you are out of the bath...I thought perhaps, when we get to the...areas...under your robes...you might feel better not being as confined as you are in the tub...would that be acceptable?"

She wiped her teary eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. She was scratching the back of her hand again, and he was beginning to wonder if that wasn't a stress induced behaviour, he was about the place a hand on her to stop her but she noticed his gaze and stopped.

He waited for her to nod her ascent, and with a wandless severing charm he severed the robes at the middle so she was left with a pseudo top and skirt. He didn't see skin of her abdomen as the skirt part fell and pooled at her waist, as the second it was released from the top she brought the towel towards her to cover her stomach.

Casting a quick gemino to duplicate the flannel, he offered one piece to her and took the other himself.

"If I do your back and the tops of your shoulders so that you have no need to raise your arms , are you able to do everything else from... _ahem_... above the knee to below your shoulders ?"

_From her thighs to her breasts...do not think about it Severus._

She flushed but nodded and held onto the flannel in her hand.

"Right...quite...I shall do my part and then I shall turn and give you some privacy...then you can just tug on my sleeve when you are ready to get out"

There was a relieved look on her face at that and she nodded in gratitude to his thoughtfulness

He lifted the bottom of the upper part of the robe up slightly, pausing to ensure she was alright. He was using his left hand to clean her and had kept his right on the side of the bath so she could signal with his hand and arm when she was ready, and as he waited she gave his hand a squeeze to show she was ok for him to carry on.

Being as gentle as he could he cleaned all of her back and then allowed the top to drop back down. Rinsing the flannel he moved to her shoulders and once again waited for her signal, then when he had it, he carefully placed his hand under the neck of the top and cleaned the top of her arms and her shoulders.

It took everything in him not to growl in anger at the bite marks that marred her lower neck and shoulders.

_Fucking savage animals need putting down_

When he was done, stood and turned around so that his back was to her.

"Take as much time as you need... I shall not turn around until you give me permission to do so"

* * *

He could hear the movement of the water as she bathed herself , and he fought the blush fighting in his cheeks at the thought of her hands running over certain aspects of her anatomy at that very moment.

_Severus you fucking lecher, the girls been through the ringer , stop thinking of how her tits looked under that wet robe you piece of filth_

He had tried his best to ignore her body, but even underweight as she was, the wet robes had still clung to her womanly curves, in all the right places, only highlighted more by her lack of underwear.

His self loathing was enough to cool his ardour and his flushed face as he got himself under control once more.

There was still the soft sound of the water moving when suddenly she gasped in quite obvious pain.

Fighting the urge to turn around he questioned her

"Hermione?"

She squeezed his arm, in the signal that she needed a moment and he let his breath release, he hadn't even realised he was holding it.

After a moment and a few deep breaths, she tugged on his sleeve to signal that she was ready.

Turning towards her he set the bath to emptying and lifted her out of the bath and onto the cushioned chair, casting a wandless drying charm over her, and prepared for what was to come next.

* * *

"Alright... I do not have a second bedroom, if you still wish to remain here with me, then You may have mine and I shall take the sofa...but where would you prefer we continue your...assessment? I could have Minerva transfigure a exam table in here if you prefer?"

She was staring at her knees and shook her head vehemently no.

He sighed, knowing they would have to cross this point eventually. Kneeling once more next to her, he tilted her head to look at him.

"I do not wish to upset you, but I need to know so that I figure out the best way to help heal you...I believe I can guess some of what you have been through...I am assuming that from the memory I saw, and the wounds on your knees, that was not the only time that a man forced himself upon you in that way whilst you were there?"

Tears ran down her face and her lip trembled as she shook her head no.

Wiping the tears away with his thumb he gently held her face in her hands

"...And that is not the only act they have forced upon you ?"

Again she shook her head no, tears coming more frequently.

Taking a deep breath he met her eyes.

"Did they rape you?"

Trembling, tears streaming down her face now, she nodded once more as her breath hitched in her throat.

Dread coiling in his stomach, he thought of how to word his next question, knowing it was a sensitive issue but something he needed to know, given the twisted things they had put her through that he knew of, it was highly probable.

"Did they force you in any other way?" She whimpered and turned away from him at that, shoulders still shaking in an attempt to suppress the sobs.

She was refusing to meet his gaze, shame written across her face, and that was all the answer he needed, but he knew she needed to acknowledge what had happened to begin to heal.

"Hermione...Look at me"

She sobbed and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head.

She was shaking her head violently, her sobbing not abating, and pulling away from his touch, scratching at her arms once more.

"Hey...hey...hey, stop that..." He pulled her hands into his, so she could no longer scratch herself and she whimpered in protest.

"Hermione...little one, can you please answer me...if you don't want to answer, would it be easier for you to show me"

_He didn't say that one of the reasons he wanted her to show him, was so he could identify the people he needed to go and have a **chat**_ _with._

Sobbing and shaking, she took a deep breath and met his eyes, she seemed to be forcing herself to do it before she lost her nerve and she pushed the memories to the front of her mind. The memory he saw for a fleeting moment , before it was snatched back as she could no longer stand for him to see it. He'd only seen a fragment but it was enough.

He pulled her into his arms and held her, letting her sob into his chest.

He felt ill, and he wanted to break something, preferably something person shaped, but that would have to wait as he consoled the girl in his arms.

 _Gang Raped_.

The words tasted oily and vile in his mouth like battery acid, he'd wrongly assumed that it was the one man in her cell, and maybe the guard that had forced her.

As if it wasn't bad enough that they had coerced her, assaulted, it hadn't been enough for them monsters...At times when she'd been put in the yard with all the other prisoners, the hideous brutes of men had ganged up on the girl, as if she could have even fought  _one_  of them. They'd gang raped her, taking turns to use her...sometimes two at a time as in the fleeting memory he'd seen, the nausea rose as he realised he was right with what he assumed, they'd sodomised her aswell. Sometimes they'd raped her and sodomised her simultaneously, he saw her as he was in her mind, sobbing as she was pinned between two of their much larger bodies.

He shushed her and held her as she fell apart into his arms, she tried to pull away from him but he held her to him and she seemed to collapse boneless into his arms, and he lowered them carefully into the floor, with her cradled in his lap.

* * *

Minerva poked her head through at one point as she must have heard the commotion, he met her eyes and gently shook his head, and seeing the girl sobbing in his lap, but holding on like a limpet, she backed out and left them to it.

He held her until she had calmed down enough that she was no longer shaking.

"I must ask you again...You need to be examined and healed...I can understand that given the exam will be...uncomfortable... if you would prefer not to go through it in the room you will be staying in... so would you prefer us to transfigure something in here?"

She was still distraught, but nodded.

He knew this needed to be done now, he was surprised at the level of violence that he had seen in her memories and was worried her injuries from the rapes could be serious, not only that their could be  _other consequences,_ which considering she had been there for 4 weeks , needed to be dealt with sooner rather than later.

"Hermione...do you need a contraceptive potion ?"

She froze in his arms, her whole body paralysed and a sound of grief, the likes of which he'd never heard broke from her lips, as her occlumency walls fell apart under the emotional strain, no longer able to hold back the torrent of emotions his words had unleashed.

He remembered when he'd been sucked into the fractured memory in her mind before, the words had been half missing and indistinguishable as the book had fought to keep them bound inside.

He remembered her fear of the mediwitch and the way she had fought like a hell cat, and the broken words in the crumbling memory.

_"I'll…cut…you…you'll…never…again…like the dog you are mudblood"_

He remembered the gut wrenching terror of the scream of pain and fear that came from that book, the one that had reminded him of the dying boy in his youth.

Now with startling clarity as he looked into her panicked gaze, he was pulled unwillingly straight passed her falling barriers as she was unable to hold her distress back at his words, and all of the memory was released to him.

_She was not just fighting for herself anymore, there was someone else relying on her now, she fought and screamed and threw everything she had at them,_ _She fought all the way, kicking, biting and screaming... but was not strong enough._

_The mediwitch approached her, looking every bit as insane as she remembered_

_"I'll cut it of you you, you'll never spread your filthy blood again, I'll fix you like the dog you are mudblood"_

_She was petrified, stripped naked and restrained to the table in the hospital wing_

_There was a slicing hex thrown and then pain..sharp, hot, tugging, pulling, slicing WRONG pain._

_She screamed... though it echoed only in her mind... and cried until she blacked out and when she awoke she was curled up on the floor in a pool of her own blood. And as she wrapped her arms around herself , feeling her new wound she sobbed into the floor as she realised she was alone once again._

As he snapped back to himself with a horrified groan he pulled the towel away that she was desperately shielding her stomach with, despite her protests...even as his oath burned under his skin, as he'd promised not to upset her, but he had to see for himself... tugging her top up slightly and there it was... a wicked, jagged, recent wound from a vicious severing hex... bisecting her stomach just below her navel... struggling to heal and looking  _very_  infected.

 _"Like the dog you are mudblood"_  rang in his head as he stared at it...unable to fight the bitter tears running down his face as he pulled the girl closer and she sobbed into his chest.

One of them had gotten her pregnant...and like a sick stray dog...they'd cut it out and neutered her.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: *For the americans in our audience, us brits call band-aids plasters. So we would say ripping off a plaster, rather than ripping off a band aid!
> 
> Severus may be a wizard, but he's still a brit !
> 
> This chapter was so harsh to write, but I knew this was going to be very dark from the beginning.
> 
> My Plot Bunnies are sociopaths.
> 
>  
> 
> Please Review, I really need to know if this is working for people or if it's too dark... it will get better, but there's going to be a lot of dark


	16. Chapter 16

_As he snapped back to himself with a horrified groan he pulled the towel away that she was desperately shielding her stomach with, despite her protests...even as his oath burned under his skin, as he'd promised not to upset her, but he had to see for himself... tugging her top up slightly and there it was... a wicked, jagged, recent wound from a vicious severing hex... bisecting her stomach just below her navel... struggling to heal and looking very infected._

_"Like the dog you are mudblood" rang in his head as he stared at it...unable to fight the bitter tears running down his face as he pulled the girl closer and she sobbed into his chest._

_One of them had gotten her pregnant...and like a sick stray dog...they'd cut it out and neutered her._

_cont._

* * *

She hit him with a fist in his chest and shoulder, even as she was sobbing into his chest.

_Let her, she deserves her anger, especially at me._

He felt the worse kind of awful for forcing her to show him the wound, but he knew it needed to be done, if she was ever to move past this.

_Could she move past this ?_

He was so far past trauma he didn't even know what to call this anymore, if the girl regained a fraction of her old self it would be a miracle.

He'd expected to feel anger, nausea, fury even...but he just felt hollow, as he held the sobbing girl tightly to his chest, and she held on to him tightly with one hand, even as she hit him with the other.

Her magic was releasing wildly around him , and he heard various objects breaking and moving, but her occlumency shields had shattered and so that risk had at least passed.

_Let her break things, let her cry and hit him , she needed it and he would not deny her._

She cried, and hit him and released her angry wild magic until she passed out in his arms.

* * *

Minerva was frantic when she was finally able to reach them in the bathroom, when the magic pressing against the door abated as the girl passed out.

"SEVERUS...What..."

He met her eyes from his place on the floor amid the carnage, with the passed out girl in his arms, but it was the tears running down his face and the blank expression that froze her where she stood.

"What's going on?" She asked more quietly this time with a tremble to her voice.

"In the morning, I need you to inform Albus that Miss Granger will not be fit to return to her studies when term starts in a week, and that I shall also need someone to cover for me for the first week at least, I fear I may do or say something that I will regret if I have to speak to him. I also need you to take a sober up potion out of my bureau and take it to Poppy immediately and bring her here, tell her that she needs to bring everything that she would need to perform a rape exam and healing. She also needs whatever she would require for a post surgical checkup, tell her to change out of her mediwitch robes, lend her something if you have to and cast a cleaning charm on her, I want to remove all traces of the hospital from her before she comes here."

"Severus...Rape...Surgical...what have they done to her?" The scotswoman had tears running down her face as she stared at her pseudo daughter in his arms.

"I would prefer not to tell this more than once, I wish to get this over with tonight, the girl should not have to have this dragged out any longer"

* * *

Minerva returned shortly and informed him that Poppy was going to shower and then come down, in attempts to rid the smells of the infirmary from her skin.

The girl had awoken but had not moved, and was simply silent and being held in his arms as her tears ran down her face, and his own still tracked his cheeks.

He himself had not moved and Minerva was fretting around them both, putting the room to rights as a way to use up some of her nervous energy, ever since he had refused to answer her questions, simply shaking his head and holding the girl in his arms closer.

There was an urge within himself, something that told him to protect the girl, to hold her tight and shield her from anymore harm. That roared in fury at what had been done to her, who had dared to touch her, it called in his blood for violence, for retribution and vengence.

It was more than the normal urge to protect students, or other defenceless people...it was something that screamed inside his blood that she was more...that she was...his...his alone to keep and his to protect.

It was stupid, ridiculous...but he thought of her, even before all this, the way she had always respected and defended him, the way he had admired her from afar...and then he thought of the pleasant feeling of the oath he had given her, the first time he had directly used his magic on her...that feeling of a long forgotten part of him waking up.

There was a sneaking suspicion in his head, but he dare not give it a voice.

So he held her, and awaited for the arrival of Poppy.

* * *

When Poppy arrived and stood beside Minverva, he finally made the effort to remove them from the floor. Standing with the girl still held in his arms, he moved into his sitting room, with both women trailing behind, looking worried.

Placing Hermione on the sofa, and transfiguring the towel in her lap to a blanket, he placed a gentle hand on her cheek as he told her he was going to speak to the two women, but would not be leaving the room. She nodded in acknowledgement, but made no other gesture or movement.

Thankful to Minerva for putting the room to rights, he moved the chairs a ways from the sofa, so they could discuss things without Hermione having to hear it, he was also grateful for Poppy's change in appearance, she was wearing ordinary robes that had hufflepuff detailing, and choosing to shower instead of using cleansing charms meant that she now smelled of her flowery shampoo, instead of the hospital wing.

Summoning a cup of tea for them all, and sending a glass of water to Hermione, he sat in the chair heavily indicating they should seat themselves too, which they both did whilst looking nervously at him.

He did not know how long he sat there lost in maudlin thoughts , but he was brought back to himself when he felt Minerva gently wiping his face with her handkerchief, which was when he realised that tears were still running down his face unchecked.

* * *

Both women looked grave and exceedingly worried, and he forced his emotions behind his occlumency shields, lest his grief take him away.

"I cannot begin to describe what has been done to that girl, the atrocities that she has suffered...the fact that she remains somewhat sane is a miracle, given most would need a permanent place in Mungos after enduring what she has"

Minerva was wringing her handkerchief in her hands as Poppy looked on in worry.

"Severus...you told me to bring my kit for a...rape exam...You're sure that she was definitely...?"

"There is no doubt... Hermione has shared a number of memories with me through legillimency, and I know for a fact that she suffered persistent, violent and multiple forms of sexual abuse whilst in azkaban, from a number of perpetrators...from assault to rape"

Minerva sobbed at that bringing her hanky to her face to hide her tears.

"My poor wee bairn...she should never have been in that foul place to begin with, why did the guards do nothing"

"The guards were some of the perpetrators Minerva, I believe the dark lord has managed to infiltrate a number of staff in azkaban."

"It's wrong...it's not right...my poor bairn"

"Severus...you said multiple forms...do you mean" Poppy questioned him looking vaguely green.

"I do not wish to go into details , as it is not my story to tell, but suffice to say , if there is a way to be violated by a man, Miss Granger has endured it, and at times had to suffer the  _attentions_  of more than one perpetrator at a time" The words once again felt viscous and oily in his mouth, as possessiveness and anger coiled in his belly.

"You're talking about...gang rape...aren't you Severus?... More than one perpetrator at a time aswell...you mean..."

"I do not wish to spell it out Poppy...but I believe  _you know_  what I mean"

She still looked vaguely green , but set her jaw and nodded.

"But you also said post surgical?..."

Occlumency failed him as he dropped his head into his hands and heaved a breath out.

He was brought back to himself when he felt that he was surrounded by warmth, Minerva had transfigured his chair into a sofa, and the women had each taken a seat either side, both placing a hand on him in comfort.

"You are both aware of the trauma surrounding her teeth and the resident mediwitch?" At both their nods he continued.

"Why am I not liking where this is going Severus..." Poppy questioned in a quavering tone.

"Because there is nothing right about it..." He barked a laugh and it was an insane laugh born of fear and anger and stress.

"When Hermione admitted to me that she had been the victim of rape, considering that she has been detained for four weeks already, I was concerned about other consequences than just injuries... you will recall your readings showed her hormone balances were off?"

Poppy gasped and covered her mouth while Minerva looked on in anguish

"Merlin Severus she's pregnant isn't she ?"

Minvera let out a low moan of despair at Poppy's declaration

"No, she is not pregnant..."

Both women seemed to slump in relief

"Anymore"

"What do you mean anymore Severus"

"Miss Granger...Hermione...did fall pregnant as a result of rape whilst she was in azkaban, she was taken to the resident mediwitch..."

"The same sick bitch who extracted her teeth?" Poppy seethed

"The very same...she was once more petrified and bound, they took care of the problem and ensured that such a thing would not come to pass again."

He could not hold back the venom or the anger in his tone, and tears ran down the face of both women now.

"You don't mean?"

"Yes, they aborted the child and then surgically sterilised her, against her will , It was made clear to me from her memories that she was aware that she was pregnant and she fought like a hellcat to try and keep them away from her , but to no use"

The women were beyond words now, what could they say that could measure up to the weight of his words.

"I was in her head Minerva, I saw what she saw and felt what she felt... when she woke up in her cell and knew they had taken it from her..."

At that the Slytherin broke, he dropped his head into his hands and wept as both women wrapped their arms around him

"Not only did they take it from her, but they took away any chance for her to be a mother... she'll never...she.."

The women shushed him as he wept bitter tears for the girl on his sofa

A loud whimper broke him out of his grief and he quickly stood to attention and whipped around to locate the girl, she was still on the sofa but worried eyes were fixed on his form as she tried to stand to reach him.

_She was worried for him, she had heard him weep and was worried for **him**_

Taking the room in quick strides he was at her side, arms wrapping around her as he held her to his chest, once more marvelling at the way she seemed to fit in his arms perfectly as she relaxed the instant he reached her.

"I'm sorry little one, I'm fine...I just hurt for you, for what you have endured...I'm sorry"

* * *

Poppy and Minerva approached from behind, once they had regained their composure , remaining a small distance away so as not to crowd her.

Minvera especially he could tell, wanted to approach the girl but held back.

At his signal Poppy came and stood by him, tilting her chin up he looked into her eyes and spoke softly to her.

"Let us finish this now OK? We'll get it over with, then you can sleep and heal"

She dropped her head to his chest and whimpered but nodded her agreement and he sighed in relief.

He was glad that she would allow them to heal her, that was the first step...the worse was yet to come

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Please review , so grateful for all the support on both my stories.
> 
> A few of you flagged up questions/statements about the runes, let me just clear up that they will have a further part in the story, but they are NOT what is causing lust / attraction
> 
> They are simply a brand/tattoo, meant to be visible/degrading, but they are not magical in a sense that they influence behaviour.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's WARNING : This VERY long chapter is going to contain graphic details of injuries of a sexual nature, including medical exams.
> 
> If this sort of thing bothers you, please do not read.

 

_"Let us finish this now OK? We'll get it over with, then you can sleep and heal"_

_She dropped her head to his chest and whimpered but nodded her agreement and he sighed in relief._

_He was glad that she would allow them to heal her, that was the first step...the worse was yet to come_

_Cont._

* * *

He was still stood in with the girl in his arms, and the two witches hovering behind him, when he turned to address them.

"Minerva if you would be so kind as to transfigure something in the bathroom into a suitable exam table for Poppy to use, and a screen for privacy too ?"

She was trembling in his arms but was still with him at least, every time she went into a borderline fugue state , he was worried that she would not come back.

Minerva returned shortly and he raised Hermione, who was still holding the blanket, up in his arms, and carried her into the bathroom with Poppy following behind.

Being as gentle as possible he put her down in front of the beige transfigured exam table, of which the back was currently raised in an upright position, to allow her to sit in it, and he noted the light gold privacy screen that sectioned off the corner of the bathroom, neutral calming colours he noted and once again thanked Minerva's good sense. He was very concerned about making sure she didn't feel too forced in this situation, after all she had been through, so he wanted her to make the choice rather than him make it for her.

"Hermione, look at me"

Her eyes were currently level with his chest, her hand gripping his coat.

Lifting her chin up once more he raised her up until she met his gaze, his heart breaking at the fat tears in her doe eyes.

"If you truly, truly wish not to go through with this, I will not force you , but I beg you to let us help you... I do honestly believe it is for the best that you let us heal you and I think that you will struggle to ever move on in your life if you are suffering untold complications because you never received proper care after everything you've endured"

A few tears broke through at that and she sniffled but did not look away from his gaze.

"You know me, and you know Poppy, neither of us will do anything to hurt you, this will be the hardest part , and once we get it over with you can start to heal and move on, but it is your choice, your decision..."

He rubbed her arms gently and moved one of her curls out of her face.

"If you're willing to let us help you, all you need to do is sit on this table and we'll make a start...if you truly wish not to go through with this, we can leave this room and I will do what I can for you with potions alone...know that though I am worried for you, for your health and even your life if you do not get treated... I will still not force you to endure such a personal exam if you do not wish to, the last decision is down to you, this is your choice to accept this healing or not."

She made no move for the longest time, though he knew she had took in every word. Though it killed him to say it, he would stick by his word, it was her body and her choice, if she truly could not cope with the thought of exam , he would not violate her consent and her trust by forcing her to endure it, he just prayed to Merlin, Circe, Nimune and all the divines that she would allow them to help her, and by the look on Poppy's face, she was thinking the same.

* * *

It seemed an eternity, but eventually she looked searchingly into his eyes, took a deep breath and lifted herself so that she was sat sideways on the exam table, her legs hanging off the side and hand still holding the blanket he'd transfigured for her.

"Good Girl" he whispered and gently placed his hand on her shoulder and she gave a watery smile in return, placing her other hand atop his.

"Poppy, why don't we start with the general healing that is required, before we get into anything more intrusive...that way when the hard part is over, Hermione can go straight to bed, instead of having to stay for more healing ?" he received a grateful smile and a small exhalation of breath at that

"Good idea Severus...Hermione, would you please put your legs up and sit fully on the bed for me ?"

Wincing slightly she did as asked and was now sat fully on the bed, leaning against the back rest, though she did not let go of his hand nor the blanket, which he lifted up so it pooled in her lap.

"Severus...you have already been helping Hermione, can you suggest a place to begin?"

"Yes...a wound cleanser to prevent infections,and then Dittany I believe, a number of cuts and abrasions"

Summoning both from her bag and placing them on the exam table by hermione's leg, Poppy turned to him, trusting him to guide them both through the tricky waters ahead.

"Feet and legs first I believe ?" he posed it as a question and aimed it at Hermione, pleased when she nodded in responce.

"Very well...Poppy if you could see to the soles of Hermione's feet, and I will see the these cuts on her knees"

Grabbing the relevant potions they got to work, first massaging in the wound cleaner, and then using the pipette to drop the dittany along the wounds, which began to hiss, pop and close up, leaving raw looking, but sealed, fresh pink skin.

Once all the wounds on her lower legs had been done he began fighting a blush as he realised that the time had come and it could not be pushed back any longer.

"We need to remove the top part of your robe...once your wounds are healed I have a shirt here for you..." he summoned the shirt and sleep shorts from the side, noticing that Minerva had already transfigured them smaller so they would fit her better, merlin bless her.

"Would you prefer me to leave while Poppy..." He didn't even get the sentence out before she was shaking her head in the negative, and holding tighter to his hand...even though her cheeks were pink and she was clearly flustered, she did not want him to leave.

"Very well, if you wish to turn around, I will vanish the top part of the robe, and will start with your back perhaps?" Again he posed it as a question to her, giving her a feeling of control and was once again gratified when she, after a flinch and a moments pause, nodded and as Poppy flattened the bed, she reluctantly turned so that she was lying on her stomach with the blanket beneath her.

"Ok?" He questioned and when she finally tearfully nodded he vanished the top part of her robe, and promptly fought his roar of rage as he gazed upon her ruined back.

He had seen the bite marks upon her shoulders but had not seen any lower than that due to the robe, and when he had washed her lower back it had been with a cloth, so he had not felt the skin beneath with his bare hands. Now as he gazed upon the expanse of her ruined back he simultaneously fought the urge to scream in anger and weep in sorrow, and he was not ready for the errant thought that ran through his mind and that shook him to the very core... _now you have even more in common with her._

* * *

_She's been lashed. Some fucking piece of scum has taken a belt to her._

Her whole back, from her ribs down, and he was guessing her arse as well, judging by the way some of the marks disappeared under the lower part of the robes she still wore, were covered in long and angry looking welts , where someone had lashed her with a leather belt.

He could see the deep black bruising surrounding some of the strange shaped marks, which he knew from experience was where she'd been hit with the buckle.

The deep bruising that surrounded the welts was purple and black around some of her ribs,  _Some sick cunt hit her hard enough to break her ribs,_  and in other places it was a sickening yellow colour. Her back was a macabre palette of colours, each one signifying a great pain dealt.

A sharp gasp brought him back to himself as Poppy took in the damage, but credit to the witch she set her jaw and carried on.

"Hermione...can I have your permission to run a diagnostic spell on your back and ribs please ?"

The girl just tearfully nodded , without turning her head to face her.

"Thank you my dear" Poppys voice sounded shaky, but her wand was steady as she ran her diagnostics up and down the girls back.

Severus was holding her hand and keeping out the witch's way as she ran her scans, he gently stroked his thumb over the back of the girls hand he was holding and snapped his eyes to her, when he heard her sniffle. He caught a fleeting glimpse of what she was thinking, her broken shields meaning she was finding it hard to contain her thoughts.

_Weak... ruined...a freak...alone...what he must think of me..._

Impulsively he pushed his thoughts towards her before he could second guess himself and change his mind.

_No...never that...and you are not alone_

_/_

_A young boy with black hair, black eyes and tatty too large clothing is cowering in the dusty corner as a large man smelling of cheap beer and cigarettes towers above him._

_"You're a freak boy, and you always were a freak... I won't have no more freaks living under my roof, it was too late for your mother but I'll beat it out of you if it's the last thing I do"_

_The belt comes down on his back leaving a trail of fire and pain in its wake and he almost bites through his lip to stop himself from crying out, it's always worse when he cries_

_/_

_A teenage boy looks on nervously as the other boys disrobe in the quidditch changing rooms and go shower afterwards, he doesn't want to remove his robes in front of them, so instead casts a cleaning spell on himself and turns to leave amidst the taunts of the other boys "There he goes, allergic to water that one, the greasy git"_

_/_

_A man is changing his clothes in a hotel room, it's the middle of the summer and hot as hell, he goes topless to the wardrobe and as he opens the door catches a glimpse of knotted scars on pale skin, there's a mirror in the wardrobe door...he slams it shut and pulls away snarling, covering himself with a shirt as he goes , heat be damned._

_/_

There's a soft gasp from her as she looks into his eyes, and then she is offering him and tearful yet grateful smile and her thumb meets his and strokes it for only a moment, but it's there and he is thankful for it.

* * *

Poppy announces that a number of her ribs are cracked, but two are broken and need to be reset, the skelegro will fix them but she'll still be sore for a while after.

He holds he hand as Poppy casts the Episkey, wincing in sympathy at the sickening crunch once more.

Once the ribs are back in place , she takes a deep breath and releases it, it's obvious it still pains her, but the relieved look she gives him says miles about the discomfort that must have abated from having the ribs realigned.

Getting back to work with Poppy, they make quick work of the lashes on her back , being as gentle as possible they rub her down with the wound cleaner, before using the Dittany.

"A number of these recent ones should heal well with the Dittany, but these older ones are too far healed for the dittany to be affective, they will scar...do you have anything Severus ?"

"I have a salve that should reduce the scarring...but It cannot be used so soon after the wound cleaner, I will start daily from tomorrow"

When they got to the bottom of her back, he once again fought his blush as at Poppy signalling her addressed the girl again.

"Hermione...Poppy needs to carry on with some of these welts, they go below the line of your robes, would it be ok for her to lower them for a moment to finish healing them?"

The colour was back in her cheeks but she nodded again.

He moved to kneel next to her face when she tensed and flinched violently when Poppy lowered her bottoms slightly.

"It's ok...I'm right here...it's just healing...that's all"

She nodded in acceptance to what he was saying, but still couldn't fight the tears that fell from her eyes.

He didn't want to make her feel exposed or uncomfortable, so he stayed by her head, holding her hand and softly stroking it, until Poppy said that she was finished.

"I need you to turn back around for me now hermione, so that I can look at your front ok honey ?"

Tears still ran unchecked down the girls face as she gripped the blanket underneath her.

"Take your time Hermione...when you're ready" He soothed her and once more offered to turn around, which she once more refused.

After she'd had time to collect herself, she pulled the blanket to her chest and then turned around, as Poppy once more raised the bed to a seated position so she could lean back against it.

He noted that her movement was a lot better now the ribs were back in place, and he was thankful she had at least that reprieve.

She was trembling and holding the blank to her front with shaking hands.

He went to stroke her back in a soothing manner and she jumped in surprise at the unexpected contact, but before he could move his hand away she leant back slightly into his touch, so he kept his hand there, offering what comfort he could with his presence.

"Hermione...I need to look at your chest, I can see you have some marks and bruising around your collar bone...do they go lower aswell?" Poppy was trying to be as delicate as she could be to the girl, who was still visibly very upset.

He made a point of turning his head and focusing on the other side of the bathroom, to give her some semblance of privacy, without removing his supporting hand on her back.

The skin underneath his hand was clammy as she was sweating nervously and shaking in her stress, and he gently rubbed her trying to soothe her.

Still focused on the other wall, he could feel the reluctant movement in the muscles of her back as she slightly lowered the towel to expose her chest for the mediwitch.

Another angry intake of breath from the mediwitch and he could only guess that the bite marks on her back were repeated here.  
Fucking Animals, he'd enjoy making them scream.

"Is it ok if I put my hands on you Hermione, so I can apply the wound cleaner like I did on your back and legs?"

He heard her sniffle and felt her nod, even as the mediwitch spoke in soft tones to her.

"Please don't cry sweetheart, you've nothing to be ashamed of...it's not your fault ok?"

Her muscles were taught and tense as she no doubt felt exceedingly uncomfortable with another witches hands on her bare chest, but the Poppy was professional and efficient and got it done as quickly as she could.

"Ok sweetie you can cover back up now"

The muscles of her back bunched as he felt her quickly grasp and raise the blanket, glad to be covered again.

"you can turn back around now Severus"

He did so, once again taking in her seated form with her bare back and the blanket clutched to her chest.

Poppy shared a concerned look with him and he knew what was to come next.

He picked up the shirt and offered it to her, but she didn't take it, simply flushed and looked at him.  
 _Of course you idiot, she's not going to want to expose herself to put it on_

He swallowed thickly and then apologised to her.

"I'm sorry Hermione...would you like me to spell this on to you?"

She nodded gratefully and he spelled the shirt onto her body, once it was in place she let the blanket pool in her lap.

 _And so it begins_  he thought grimly, as he considered what was to come next.

* * *

_AN: If you're not comfortable with intimate exams, you've been warned._

* * *

"We are almost done here Hermione...but I need you to be strong for me now ok ?"

She knew what was coming and had started crying her breath hitching and shoulders jumping.

"Lean back against the bed ok?"

The tears didn't stop but she did what he said.

He went to stand by her side and held her hand as Poppy looked on sadly.

She wasn't looking at him, she had her head resting on the back of the bed and was resolutely looking at the ceiling.

He moved the blanket so it covered her lap, and transfigured it into a thin sheet.

"Would you allow me vanish the bottom part of your robes, so that Poppy can give you an exam"

She didn't answer him , and for the first time turned away from him refusing to meet his gaze.

"Hermione...this is very important, but we will not continue until we have your permission. This is your choice, you are in control"

She took a few calming breaths and then her sorrowful face met him, and she gave him a soft nod.

"Ok? I have your permission to remove the robe?" He didn't need to say it, but he wanted there to be no mistaking her consent in this. He would not do anything against her wishes.

She was still scared and upset, her face shining with tears of grief but once again she nodded.

He moved the sheet once more to ensure she was fully covered, and then vanishes the bottom half of her robes, leaving her lower half naked under the sheet. He also made a point of passing her the sleep shorts to hold, it gave her something to do with her hands and also she could focus on the fact that soon she would be dressed once again.

"Severus...do you want to wait outside for this part?" He went to leave but the girls panicked gaze snapped to him and she grasped his hand so tightly he feared for her injured digits, as a thrum of magic made things vibrate around him.

"Easy...easy...it's alright Hermione, I'm not going far just the other side of this divide"

She was shaking her head and panicking even as Poppy tried to sooth her.

"Hermione... it's customary for any men to leave the room when women are having a pelvic exam..."

The magic around them hummed and there was the faint feel of electricity in the air like before a storm as the shook like a leaf and grasped onto him giving him a desperate look.

Seeing no other option he conjured a chair and put it near her head

"It's ok..it's ok I'll stay if you want me to stay"

He turned to Poppy giving her a look that said  _what else could I do ?_

"If I were to sit here with my back to you Poppy, so I might offer Hermione support, whilst offering her a modicum of privacy, would that be acceptable for you?"

" The rules are there for the woman's comfort severus...but these aren't exactly normal circumstances, if your presence will help her endure this exam, it is her choice in the end...is this what you want hermione?"

She met the mediwtich's eyes and nodded, as the magic slowly dissipated around them

Poppy moved the stirrups into place and encouraged her to put her feet into them, as he sat level with her head, unable to see anything below her chest, not that he wanted to, as he tried desperately not to show how uncomfortable he was.  _Uncomfortable, imagine how the girl feels you inconsiderate horses ass, you'll endure whatever you have to endure if it makes her feel safe enough to put herself through this horribly invasive experience after everything she's been through!_

The girl gasped , no doubt when she felt how exposed the position left her in, and she turned her head to the side to look at him when he spoke to her.

"Try not to think about it, look at me , focus on me, ok ?"

She nodded gently he held onto her hand with both of his, her other hand still had the black shorts clutched inside.

"Hermione...would you like me to explain what I am doing as I go along? would that make it easier? or would you prefer no... not to know"

She didn't looked into his eyes as if searching for him to give the answer to save her the embarassment

"It's your choice Hermione, It does not bother me, whatever makes it easier for you"

It did bother him. it made him angry and sick, nervous and embarrassed, but he would endure for her.

She turned to Poppy and gave a small nod, but kept flicking her eyes to him "Yes, you want to know ?" another nod. "Ok sweetheart"

Poppy must have started as he saw the sheet move out of the corner of his eye and she visibly tensed and grasped him tighter.

"The exam itself won't be much different to a standard cervical smear, what most muggle women get done every 3 years or so...have you had one yet?"

She shook her head in the negative and squeezed his hand.

"I thought not, you're a bit too young to have been offered one yet...But you know what they are, how they work?"

A nod in confirmation.

"Ok..so it's basically going to be like a cervical smear, I'm going to use a speculum so I can examine inside you, but instead of swabbing the cervix, I'll be looking for and treating injuries , ok ?"

_Fucking merlin muggle women have to put up with one of these on a regular basis? Even when there's nothing wrong ?He really was relieved to be a man._

He turned vaguely green as the girl nodded once more, still with the death grip on his hand

There was some movement behind him and then the girl flinched violently and whimpered turning her head to him for support even though her eyes were screwed shut

"I know...It's uncomfortable, I'm sorry...try to relax and not clench"

Her whole body was tense as she cried and turned her face into the bed.

He was lost for what to do in this situation and tried to just be there for her however he could.

"Look at me Hermione" Her eyes snapped to his , full of tears of shame, pain and embarrassment.

"It's going to be alright, just try to relax for me" her breathing slowed a little as she met his eyes.

He tried to use legillimency to relax her, projecting his thoughts to her.

_I am here, don't be afraid_

A small thought, quiet and ashamed echoed back barely loud enough for him to hear

_it hurts..._

His chest hurt as he gently cupped her cheek with one hand, while holding onto her hand with his other.

_It's ok, it will be over soon_

She stilled slightly and he felt her forcing her muscles to relax, even as she was quite obviously still in discomfort, by the pinched look on her face

"Good Girl , Hermione that's in place now...I can already see you've got some tears, so I'm going to start healing them OK, I can use dittany on the outside, but internally I will be using magical stitches, they're similar to the muggle disolvable ones, they will fade in time but you may feel a slight twinge as they go in ok ?" She screwed her eyes shut and nodded.

He knew the second each stitch went in as her whole body seemed to flinch and her nails dug into the soft flesh of his hand.

It seemed to go on forever but soon she was talking to the girl as placed her wand to the side.

"That's all the stitches now...you were so brave Hermione...In a moment I'm going to remove the speculum, and then I need to feel for damage to your cervix, I will have to use my hands for that, it may feel invasive I know, but it shouldn't be as uncomfortable as the speculum ok?"

He stroked her hair gently as she just nodded, not opening her eyes.

She whimpered and cried as the mediwitch placed her fingers inside her, and pressed lightly on her pubic bone to feel her cervix, but as uncomfortable as it was it was over in less than a minute and he was thankful for that.

Poppy seemed to be gathering courage for what was to come next , judging by her controlled breathing and he too had to fight to keep calm.

"I'm just going to put dittany on these external tears..."  
There was a slight hissing and popping noise and the girl once again whimpered and dug her nails into his hand, he was going to be bruised in the morning but he did not care.

"Ok this part is over... you were so brave sweetie..." She took the girls feet out of the stirrups and lowered the bed once more so it was flat.

* * *

The girl began shaking and they both knew that she was aware of what was coming next

"...now I need you to keep being brave for me ok? Can you turn on your side for me"

She was crying in earnest now, shoulders shaking and tears and snot running down her face, but she turned and laid on her side anyway, facing him even though she had covered her face with her arms and removed her hand from his.

Her thoughts were breaking free once more as he heard snippets of them

_So dirty...don't touch him..he won't want you to...filthy mudblood..._

She was ashamed he realised, she had it in her head that he would think her dirty, and not want to touch her

He moved his chair forward closer to the bed and pulled her head towards him until she had it on the edge of the bed facing his chest, with a sob she buried her head into his chest and threw her arms around his ribs, as she continued to cry into him

He threw a cautious glance to Poppy, the girl was still covered by the sheet but he could see from the movement that a distraught poppy was gently rubbing her leg , even as he was rubbing her back trying to soothe her.

"Just get it finished Poppy" he whispered to her, wondering where his voice had gone.

The mediwitch looked sadly to him and nodded and as she went to lift the sheet once more, he turned again to give her privacy.

"Same process as before hermione...we're nearly done here"

Once more he knew the second she'd began as the girls sobbing only increased and her arms tightened around his ribs, as her face was so buried in his chest that he was afraid for her breathing.

"Ok..it's ok honey...same as before...a few stitches and then we're almost there"

He paled and fought the rising nausea, as the girl's hiccoughing sobs continued.

"And that's it sweetie, just the dittany and then we can put those shorts on you"

He heard the hiss of the dittany and felt the corresponding flinch in the girl wrapped around him.

"Ok put them on her severus"

He didn't ask permission this time, just spelled the shorts onto her, and transfigured the sheet back into a blanket which he wrapped around her.

Holding her tight, he rocked her in his arms for a few minutes more until he sobs finally abated. She still refused to look at him.

"Hermione look at me"

She sniffled and shook her head, he could see her face was red with the crying and mortification of what she'd just been through.

"Look at me little one"

A hitch in her breath and she moved her head slightly so she could peek up at him, still refusing to move her head that was buried in his chest"

"I am so proud of you Hermione, you were so brave, thank you for letting us help you"

She shivered but didn't move away, and he hated himself for what he had to do next.

"You've been so brave, and I'm so proud...we just have one more thing to do, and then we're done ok?"

He knew without a doubt that this would be the hardest part of all, and judging by the way the magic that suddenly whipped around him felt...so did she.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Ok so for all you Americans out there, Cervical Smear is what us english call what you guys refer to as a Pap smear I believe, and in England with the wonderful NHS, all our treatment is free and women from 25 -50 are offered one every 3 years, Your doctor writes to you inviting you to come in and have the test.
> 
> Also if you've never had a smear, and are having trouble picturing the exam table I described, just search gynae table and you'll see what I mean.
> 
> I Hope this wasn't too graphic for some people, but there has been plenty of warnings so far.  
> It's supposed to be uncomfortable, to put you on edge and turn your stomach, to help you understand how she must be feeling.
> 
> It will get better, it's going to be a very long and very dark tunnel but there will be light at the end of it.
> 
> Please review, and as always I invite anyone to PM me to discuss themes, suggestions etc.


	18. Chapter 18

"You've been so brave, and I'm so proud...we just have one more thing to do, and then we're done ok?"

He knew without a doubt that this would be the hardest part of all, and judging by the way the magic that suddenly whipped around him felt...so did she.

Cont

* * *

The air practically hummed around him , the atmosphere almost electricaly charged. Small objects were shuddering and poppy's bag fell off the exam table as objects around them continued to be affected by the wild magic in the air.

Poppy was once again brought to her knees by the pressure and had a fearful look in her face as he desperately tried to calm the girl in his arms who was almost hyperventilating.

"Sshh... Hermione it's alright...please calm down... it's ok , you're safe here...no one is going to hurt you"

The girl was sobbing , heart felt, uncontrollable gut wrenching sobs, the kind where your grief was so great it stole the breath from your lungs.

Suddenly her breathing changed, and she was gasping trying to get her breath.

_Shit , Fuck, Thestral Piss... The girl's having a full blown panic attack !_

The magic around them had dropped in intensity , but now he was worried about the girl's health , she was distraught and in full fledged panic mode and could not get her breath.

Making a quick decision he got up onto the bed behind her , stretching his legs out so that he was sat fully on the bed, and she was sat in between his legs with her back leaning onto his chest.

In her panic she was trying to curl into herself , which only made breathing more difficult , and she was scratching at her arms again, so he pulled her back into his chest until she was fully leaning on him , with her back on his chest and her head on his shoulder.

He held her and soothed her , stroking down her arms and and keeping her pinned to his front, to prevent her from trying to curl up again. He spoke an endless stream of soft words and placations into her ear, never once letting go of her , even as he watched Poppy struggle back to her feet and take a few steps backwards so she was no longer in the girls personal space.

It took a couple of frightening minutes, which seemed much longer, before he was able to get through her panic induced fog, he knew the second she was hearing him as he hand tightened in his , and her head turned slightly toward him.

He continued to croon into her ear, low and steady.

"That's it...don't be afraid, you're having a panic attack...you just need to calm down and get your breathing under control...feel my breathing and try to match it ok ? In...out...in...out...good girl"

He held one hand lightly on her chest, the other holding both of hers in her lap, keeping her bodily pinned to his chest as he breathed very slowly and deliberately in and out , to encourage her to do the same.

It took a few more minutes of painstakingly controlled breathing , before the magic around them dropped away and she was able to breath normally without the risk of passing out from lack of oxygen. As soon as her breathing regulated he let go of her chest, and took one hand in each of his.

Poppy stayed her distance, waiting for his signal that it was safe to come closer again.

She seemed to be coming to her senses as she began to look around and take stock of where she was.

"Alright Hermione...are you with me?"

She was trembling, her hair was plastered to her head as her skin was slick with a clammy sweat, which despite the warmth of her body was making her shiver.

It took a moment but she realised he was waiting for an answer and nodded to him.

"Good girl...is it alright for Poppy to come back over here now ? You gave us both a bit of a fright"

Realising what must have happened the girl gave Poppy an apologetic look , as she came over and sat in his vacated chair , placing her hand on the girls knee and soothing her fears.

"It's alright my girl...no harm done, I know you've been through so much...it's alright to be afraid."

There were tears in her eyes but she nodded to Poppy anyway.

"Come on little one , let's get this over with , what do you say hmm?"

The tears were still coming , but he knew this was important, God Knows what those butchers had done to her.

She took a few deep fortifying breaths, her way of calming herself it seemed , and though she still shook and wept she nodded.

He went to move from the bed but she grasped his hand and turned a pleading look to him , her whole demeanor begging him to remain .

"Would I be in the way here Poppy ?"

The mediwitch considered him and looked for a moment like she was going to say yes, but when she took another look at the broken girl in his arms, she changed her mind .

She dropped the back of the exam table slightly , so it was no longer fully upright but was not flat either , and encouraged him to lay back against it , pulling her with him .

He tried very hard not to focus on the fact that he was in fact reclined on a 'bed' with a female student in his arms and between his legs...his really brain couldn't cope with that line of thinking right now.

* * *

" Ok Hermione can you raise your shirt up for me , until it's just below your chest ?"

With trembling hands the girl did as she asked...albeit very reluctantly.

"Good girl...it's ok hermione" he soothed in her ear

She was trembling and had turned her head to the side, burying her face in his shoulder, not wanting to see the scar upon her stomach.

He glanced briefly down at her, whilst she was not looking and saw the very angry looking scar below her navel but now as her shirt was raised there was another nearly healed scar he had been unable to see earlier. He blanched as he realised that this must be the one she got in the department of mysteries.

The scar was thick and knotted and currently a deep purple colour, it ran from just above her bellybutton , all the way up until it disappeared under her shirt, in a perfect straight line.  
_Merlin...it must go all the way up to her chest.  
_ With a morbid thought he realised that it was not dissimilar to the first cut they made during the Y incision of an autopsy , so perfect was the scar as it neatly bisected her torso.

His stomach clenched in sympathy as he took in the healed scar that he had given her the balm for, she'd obviously gotten little chance to use it before being taken, and now the scar would be too far along in healing for it to be of any benefit.

_Poor girl, does it ever end for her ?_

Poppy was silent and considerably pale as she ran her wand in diagnostics over the girls belly , she caught his eye and noticed where he'd been looking and gave him a sad look , which he returned as he tightened his hold on the girl, pulling her slightly more into his chest. He was probably holding her too tightly , but she went willingly and seemed to be comforted by his presence.

The beast that roared beneath his breast for vengence, seemed to be quieted when she was in his arms.  
He daren't think about the ramifications of that any further.

"Hermione...I need to examine you with my hands...I'll need to touch you, press on your stomach OK? It might be uncomfortable"

There was no responce from the girl , so he gave her a little nudge and spoke softly to her.

"The sooner you let Poppy do what she needs to do, the quicker we will be finished Hermione...is it ok for Poppy to continue?"

The girl seemed to weigh his words, then once more reluctantly nodded.

Poppy began to gently press along the scar and by the girls sharp intake of breath, and the tense set of the muscles in her back , it was very painful.

"I know sweetie...I'm sorry...I can imagine that hurts quite a bit?"

A whimper and a nod from her .

"Alright...that's all the diagnostics I need to do."

"We have some _sort of_  good news and some bad news... alright?"

"Give me the bad news first Poppy"

"The bad news is that there is quite a substantial infection , this wound needs to be opened drained , cleaned, sealed properly and redressed and then she will have to be on a number of potions to prevent reinfection...usually to clean a surgical wound like this , the patient would be unconscious, however if Hermione is not comfortable with that , if you can help keep her still , we can try a temporary localised numbing spell , similar to a muggle local anaesthetic."

"What do you think Hermione...would you allow us to put you to sleep for a few minutes, so that we can clean this wound out for you ?"

There was an emphatic no to that , but he had not expected any different. "OK so we'll do the numbing spell yes ? We'll get this wound clean and healed and bandaged up , and then we can get you to bed, does that sound better ?" It was clear that neither option sounded very good to her , but she accepted the latter option with a nod.

"And the sort of good news Poppy?"

She moved the chair a little closer to Hermione so that she could look at the girl as she spoke.

"Hermione...do you know what an ectopic pregnancy is ?"

The girl in his arms trembled and hitched a breath at the mention of pregnancy , but nodded to Poppy regardless

"My scans show that your pregnancy was _terminated_  approximately 5 weeks along, but it was ectopic, I am so sorry to say that it would never have made it to term anyway my dear, and would have been a huge health risk for you too"

Tears were running freely down the girls face now and she was once again sobbing

Seething he turned to the mediwitch "In what way is that good news Poppy" he practically growled

"The  _butcher_ who performed this  _surgery_  was not very experienced or intelligent... they did not recognise that the pregnancy was ectopic ,they must not have realised that when they were removing the..foetus...along with the ovary and fallopian tube, they were not taking the uterus. They assumed they were because of the position of the foetus. All in all They have removed one fallopian tube and ovary, some surrounding soft tissue and a small portion of the upper uterus , but they did not remove the whole uterus nor the second ovary and fallopian tube"

The girl's eyes were locked on the mediwtich with a questioning gaze but still grief stricken.

"What does that mean poppy ?" he manged to get out

"It means that they botched the surgery and in fact only performed what we'd refer to as a partial hysterectomy , not a full one... this is a lot better for you in the long run Hermione, the fact you still have one ovary is really good in terms of hormones etc, as one of the side affects of a full hysterectomy are living with the symptoms of menopause"

Here the mediwitch placed a hand on the girls, and looked at her with a sad look . "It also gives you some options...I'm sorry but I don't think you would ever be able to get pregnant or carry a baby to term because of the trauma, but now we know you do have one functioning ovary , there are muggle methods that you could consider like surrogacy"

It wasn't the best news in the world but it was something at least , and the girl just nodded sadly in acceptance.

* * *

Poppy gave her a moment to get her emotions under control as she got her kit together in preparation to address the wound.

She'd retreated into herself once more , after learning about her pregnancy and her eyes were dilated and fixed on the wall , she would nod or shake her head when he asked her a question but otherwise showed no emotion or responce.

When Poppy asked if she was ready , there was simply a nod and no further responce from the girl.

He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help but be a little aggravated at the mediwitch for causing her to emotionally retreat once more.

Poppy looked questioningly at him , obviously asking if she should proceed or not , and he not daring to speak simply echoed the girls nod.

The mediwitch got to work once the girl was numb, and he made sure to subtly place his hands upon her arms, he was gently stroking them but was in a position where he could restrain her if she moved.

He needn't have worried , once she was numbed by the spell she didn't react at all throughout poppy cleaning and treating the wound, and it was only when he had to push her away from his chest to allow poppy space to bandage it , as the numbing spell wore off, that she seemed to snap back to reality.

She'd jerked in sudden panic and pain and he'd quickly soothed her "It's alright Hermione...we're done , it's finished...it's all over for tonight, we're just bandaging your belly and then you can have your potions and go to bed"

She'd relaxed then into his arms and the beseeching look she'd given him , made it look as though he'd just offered her the moon and stars , not his spartan bed and skelegro.

* * *

When she was finished dressing the wound , after a quick discussion on potions and ongoing care,  Poppy once more took her leave.

It was now quite late and he was surprised when he walked out the bathroom , that Minerva was still here.

"Severus...Poppy told me everything...where is she?"

"I gave her a few moments to herself to use the facilities , whilst I get the bedroom ready, would you be so kind as to transfigure the sofa into a pull out for me ?"

"Of course Severus...do you think she'll.."

"She'll what ?"

"Do you think she'll ever be herself again ?"

There was a pause before he could answer her

"No Minvera...I don't think she'll ever be herself again...but she'll survive, she's strong. The fact that there is still any part of her in that girl in there is astounding and a testament to her formidable will and strength... but she is not the same girl"

He paused and turned to stare at the grey stone wall that separated them from the girl in question

"The Hermione Granger we knew, died in Azkaban."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> AN: Thank you for your continued support, you guys are da bomb.
> 
> Please Review... x X x


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AUTHORS NOTE

**THIS IS AN AUTHORS NOTE**

**NOT AN NEW CHAPTER**

* * *

 

**I want to thank everyone for their continued support , this story is not written yet , each chapter is added as I write it, so occasionally there may be a small error**

**I wanted to address a few points people have made recently**

 

**1.** **I made a fudge up with timings, and have now been back and corrected previous chapters**

**just to be clear**

**Hermione was in Azkaban for just over 5 weeks, not just over 4 as I originally posted.**

**The baby she carried WAS NOT conceived before she was in Azkaban , **

**I apologise if my timing error made some people draw to that conclusion.**

 

**2 - I know there has been concern about Severus's feelings towards Hermione despite her current condition...there is a reason for that , that will be described more in later chapters**

 

**3 - Yes this story is darkety dark dark , but it WILL get better, for those of you that show your concern about light at the end of the tunnel, it will be there, it's just going to take time to get to it.**

 

**Apologies  , and thank you to all readers, big shout out to my frequent reviewers. you know who you are**

**As always I welcome people that want to drop me a line and discuss the story via PM**

 


	20. Chapter 20

_"Do you think she'll ever be herself again ?"_

_There was a pause before he could answer her_

_"No Minvera...I don't think she'll ever be herself again...but she'll survive, she's strong. The fact that there is still any part of her in that girl in there is astounding and a testament to her formidable will and strength... but she is not the same girl"_

_He paused and turned to stare at the grey stone wall that separated them from the girl in question_

_"The Hermione Granger we knew, died in Azkaban."_

_cont._

* * *

They were startled out of their melancholy by a loud smash coming from the bathroom , without a second thought he turned and dashed into it with Minerva hot on his heels.

The sight he was met with made his heart break.

She had obviously caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror , he didn't know what had caused her reaction but it was extreme to say the least.

Judging by the blood on what was left of the mirror she'd put her fist through it and was now sat on the floor surrounded by a pile of broken glass and her arm was raised to her head , at first he thought she was using a piece of broken glass to cut her hair... but when he saw rivulets of blood start running down her neck and shoulder he pounced into action wrenching her hand away from herself and restraining her as she struggled and fought him while sobbing.

Squeezing her wrist so the tendons relaxed causing her to drop the piece of glass in her hand, he hissed as blood began running freely from her palm.

"Minvera Dittany Now !"

His Vulnera Sedentur incantation would have been better, but there was no way he could let go of her the way she was hyseterically fighting him and sobbing as she tried to once more get to the piece of glass.

Hissing in pain as their movement caused a shard of glass to dig into his leg he began quickly attemping to vanish the glass on the floor around them wordlessly, he managed to get rid of half of it without losing his grip on the girl as Minerva finally returned with the Dittany.

"Get rid of the glass!" he winced as the girls struggling caught him in the lip and bloodied it.

Minerva quickly vanished the remaining glass and grabbed the dropper for the dittany.

The girl in his arms seemed to give up the fight when all the glass had been vanished, and she sagged in his arms as if she were a puppet with cut strings as she sobbed harsh broken sobs.

Ignoring the taste of blood in his mouth and deleasing his grip he tried to soothe the overwraught girl as he held her gushing palm out to Minerva he began to speak to her as the witch dropped dittany to slow the stream of blood from her hand.

"Sshh now calm down... what's this all about...Sshh what..."

His voice broke off as he moved her hair away from her neck , to expose the bloody self inflicted wound.

The Brand. She was trying to cut it out. She'd seen the runes.

It suddenly hit him that she knew she had been branded, but not what with , and before now had not seen it.

She must have assumed it was the standard brand and prisoner number which would have been bad enough..and there was no way that Hermione  _Straight O's in Ancient Runes_  Granger , was not going to understand the meaning of the ones they had branded her with, when she saw them etched into her skin.

He was at a loss as to what to say , how to soothe her.

_It'll be alright...would it though ?_

_People won't know what they mean...anyone that's taken ancient runes would..._

Thankfully he was relieved of the burden when Minerva told him to heal the girl as she dropped to her knees to speak to her.

Giving the witch a grateful look he began cleaning the blood and casting his incantation as the witch soothed the distraught girl in his arms

"Hermione my dear...it's alright be strong now , they had no right to do that to you but what's done is done and there's no good in hurting yourself lass..."

The girl just cried and leant into Minerva as the overgrown tabby once more pressed her head to the girls .

"I'm not going to lie to you and tell you everything will be fine and dandy when it's not, but I know my Hermione is a logical thinker if ever there was one...Think about it logically and try to see the best of the situation instead of dwelling on what you can't change...be thankful it is where it is bairn, your clothes will cover it when you're wearing them and if you keep your hair long as you do then that will cover it when you're not, you've never been one to prance about in revealing clothing so you won't even have to change the way you dress... some aren't so lucky to have their marks so easily hidden"

She gave a pointed look to Severus at that, and the girl seemed to follow her line of thinking with ease as her eyes flicked to his covered arm and then up to his eyes.

Even as he set his jaw and nodded in acknowledgement to the statement , he pushed a memory towards the girl while she looked at him questionably.

_Years of sweltering summers in airless dungeons, flashed through his mind and into hers. Summer heatwaves brought unending misery as year in year out, despite the temperature his attire never changed. What was a very reasonable outfit for keeping warm in Scottish winters, was in the middle of summer horrendously uncomfortable. When the heat was particularly stifling, most students were wearing shorts and skirts and forgoing outer robes, yet he stood the full imposing embodiment of the potions master. He longed to roll up his sleeves or even wear a short sleeved shirt or robe, but the insidious black mark on his arm was preventing him from doing so. So he refrained , keeping his whole body covered as he sweat and suffered in the heat. He was actually quite a clean man by nature , working with volatile ingredients tends to do that to a person, but regardless of a daily morning shower before classes, and another before bed , the stifling summer heat combined with all the layers of clothes made him hot and sweaty, and by midday he was usually the greasy git that they all referred to him as._

She looked away from them shamefaced and he immediately spoke to assuage her feelings

"We did not wish to shame you , or make you feel guilty or belittle your feelings in any way...merely to try to make you look at things from another perspective, it is a horrible situation to be in , and one you should never have to deal with , but you are fortunate that you should be able to hide it without making any drastic changes , try to focus on the positive rather than dwell on the negative, that way leads to nothing but pain...I speak from experience"

The girl was visibly still upset but nodded her agreement with him .

"Come on lass , lets have a sit down and we'll have a cup of tea eh?"

Sniffling the girl allowed them both to help her to a standing position , and then with their assistance walked slowly into the living room.

Clearly she was still weak and in pain and Severus would have preferred to carry her , but she obviously wanted to show this small display of strength , so he offered his arm to her, which she took gratefully, even as Minvera wrapped an arm around her waist from the other side as the three of them made slow progress to the living room.

* * *

Once they were all seated in the living room , him beside her on the sofa at her insistence, the air grew sombre as none were quite sure how to proceed.

He and Minerva drank their tea quietly , as the girl sipped at hers. He'd made her a small cup of weak Chamomile tea, with no milk or sugar and had given it to her lukewarm . He didn't want to give her anything stronger lest her stomach revolt , and he'd cast a feather light spell on the mug so it was easy for her to lift in her injured hands , despite that the look she had on her face as she drank it suggested that it was akin to nectar of the gods after being denied so long.

She would occasionally twitch and scratch at her arm , and he and Minerva shared a concerned look at that as the witch had noticed it too , he'd thought originally it was a stress induced behaviour but after the reaction she had in the bathroom he was worried it might be intentionally self inflicted.

It soon became clear that whatever steam and adrenaline had been fueling the girl for the last M _erlin knows how long_  was running out , as he weak muscles trembles and she fought to keep her head up.

When she jerked back awake after her slight lapse in alertness had resulted in her spilling a small amout of tea on herself he finally moved into action.

"I think it is time for you to get some rest Hermione..."

"Aye and I think it's time for me to take my leave"

Minerva walked over to the girl and placed her forehead to hers and held her hands.

"Words cannot describe how thankful I am to have ye home bairn"

a few tears escaped and he was not sure who from, as the girl leant into the contact with the witch, taking the comfort she was offering.

Suddenly all business Minerva cleared her throat and straightened up "I'll come back tomorrow to see how you're getting on"

So intent was he on planning what next to do, he was completely taken by suprise when Minerva pulled him down to her level and placed a motherly kiss on his forehead, before whispering into his ear

"You're a good man Severus Snape, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise"

She was gone before he could formulate a responce , even as he vehemently denied the tightening in his chest and the moisture in his eyes.

Taking the cup from the girl he asked her if she wished to use the bathroom again before she went to bed, which she declined, he then insisted on picking her up and carrying her to his bedroom , making sure to leave the door open behind him, and wandlessly opening the one that adjoined the bathroom too , trying to ensure that she had more than one "escape route" and that she did not feel caged in or trapped.

He sat her down on the edge of the bed and summoned a few potions vials as he sat beside her.

"Are you sure you wish to continue with the Skelegro tonight ? It is not urgent, now the old teeth have been removed, it could wait ?"

She shook her head vehemantly as she ran her hands over the duvet , seemingly overcome at the amount of comfort the bed offered.

"It will be uncomfortable , and you will not be able to take any pain relief tonight...it can wait even until morning if you..."

He'd paused as she placed her hand upon his, she met his eyes and shook her head and he relented.

Lining up the potions he described each one as he gave it to her.

"Nutrient potion , only take a 1/3rd now , and you'll have another 1/3rd in the morning, the taste is quite sweet and rich, so if you feel you will not be able to handle it , try to down it straightaway and not to linger on tasting it"

Nodding she took the potion and quickly downed a shot of it with her eyes screwed shut , as she handed the bottle back to him as he reached for the next one.

"This will fight and prevent infections , you'll take one now and another in the morning , after that it will be once a day , there is very little flavour to it, so sip it if it's easier"

Another nod and this one she managed in three sips.

Holding the next potion in his hands he wondered how best to describe this , without upsetting her.

"This is the last one, then you can have the Skelegro...it will prevent any lasting consequences...resulting from...unwanted attentions...it tastes vile so just down it"

_Yes well done Severus, such a diplomatic way of saying This will make sure you don't get any Sexually transmitted diseases._

She blushed furiously at the implication and looked miserable as she quickly downed it and returned it to him without meeting his gaze.

She was scratching her arms again and he caught hold of her wrist to stop her.

She froze "We will discuss  _this_  tomorrow" she gave him a guilty look but did not answer, as they sat in an awkward silence.

Finally he measured out the skelegro as he held it out to her.

"I don't recall that you've had the pleasure of imbibing this stuff yet , but it tastes like Thestral Piss and smells just as bad"

His pathetic attempt at humor broke the ice and she offered him a small sad smile which he returned.

"It will probably start to kick in within about 10 minutes, but it will last most of the night , try to sleep through it if you can"

She nodded to him and the drank the Skelegro down with a grimace then prompty covered her mouth as she fought not to retch.

Her nose scrunched up and she shot him a dark look as couldn't help but chuckle at the look on her face. She elbowed him with one arm as her other was still covering her face and he only chuckled louder.

"I did warn you"

Her eyes narrowed at him in mock anger, but there was a small amount of humor behind them , and he was grateful.

"I will leave you to your rest"

Standing to leave she suddenly shot him a panicked glance as he made a motion towards the door.

"I am only going as far as the living room, Minerva was kind enough to transfigure the sofa into a pull out bed, I can assure you I will be fine"

She glanced sideways at the other side of the bed and then back to him , even as she blushed furiously at what she was implying.

He fought to keep his composure and the blush that fought to rise on his cheeks, even as the vengeful beast within his breast roared it's approval that he should stay close to her and keep her safe.

Softening his look he spoke gently to her

"I understand that you do not wish for me to leave, but it would be improper for me to stay"

She met his eyes and a thought echoed from her mind to his.

_"I trust you"_

It rocked him to his core, to hear her say it to him with no hesitation but he still could not push this boundary.

"That means more to me than you can understand...but I must insist , if only to save my own hide...Minerva would transfigure me into something horribly emasculating like a china doll if she found me in here with you"

She laughed at that even as she wiped away tears that had leaked from her eyes.

Making a snap descion he untied his outer robes and removed his silk cravat, he walked back over to her, gently placing it around her wrist.  
"This was my grandfathers, unlike my father he was a good man but he and my grandmother died when I was very young...I have this of his and a ring from my grandmother...I have worn this every day of my teaching career"

She gently fingered the soft material at her wrist with a reverant look before she met his eyes

"You can be assured that I will not be going anywhere far, as long as you hold onto this for me...I can trust you to look after it ?"

With a watery smile she held her hand to her chest and nodded.

"Good"

Before he could think better of it he lent forward and emulated Minerva's actions , as he gently pressed his forehead to hers and she closed her eyes and leant into the contact.

"I assure you that I have no intentions of abandoning you , I will be here as long as you require it"

He went to move away and was startled when she placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him and even more shocked when she placed a very brief kiss upon his cheek before releasing him, as he felt the tingle of her magic run through his face.

His eyes must have shown his shock , as she blushed then pushed a single thought towards him.

"I always knew you were a good man"

Swallowing around the lump in his throat , he simply nodded to her and walked out of the room.

* * *

Sat in the living room with a glass of whiskey in his hand he considered everything that had happened that night , as he watched the firelight dance through his whiskey glass painting colours on the walls of the room , as they flickered and danced in time with the fire.

He thought about Minerva's actions and was once more floored at how much more of a mother she had truly been to him than his own worthless parent.

But he couldn't stop thinking about the girl.

She'd kissed him, there was nothing sexual about it...it was pure genuine affection and gratitude for his actions, and it had moved him like nothing else had in his life.  
The action had come so naturally to her and it floored him... _Pretty young w_ _omen did not touch him , did not find comfort with him, they did not want to be in his presence, let alone kiss him...even platonically._  
He was the odious Severus Snape , most of his colleagues couldn't even stand him, with the exception of Minerva who seemed to have adopted him.  
Yet there she was , finding comfort in his company, when there were no end of others that would willingly offer anything to help her, instead she trusted  _him_. sought out  _him._  
And there was that statement , her parting gesture.

_"I always knew you were a good man"_

She'd always fought his corner, always defended him and he knew her words were true , spoken from the heart.  
Who in his entire miserable life had ever had such faith in him ? Had trusted him so completely, even knowing his dark past, knowing he had been a death eater, just like the ones that had done this to her.

Even Dumbledore did not trust him , simply tied him down with the weight of so many promises and vows as he used him as a necessary tool for his greater good , defended him whilst it suited him to do so, while he was still a useful piece on the game board, but he had no doubt in his mind that as soon as he was of no more use to him , that support would wither and die.

But this sweet trusting brilliant young woman , champion of houselves, knitter for squibs, defender of greasy potions masters...Even abused , hurt , tortured by cruel and vicious men , no doubt many wearing the same mark as he , her caring and loyalty shone through and she still trusted him unequivocally...saw past the mask , past the snark and judged him on his actions , not on his persona or reputation. She saw  _him_. He reached to touch his hand to his cheek where she'd kissed him and he realised with a start that the feeling of her magic tingling through him had a purpose after all... she'd healed his lip, that she had caught earlier in her struggle in the bathroom.

_"I always knew you were a good man"_

Barking out a hysterical laugh , he rested his head in his hands and wept angry tears, as the beast inside him howled in empathy for the girl, until he fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

  **AN: Please review , thanks to all my subscribers , hope you're enjoying the ride !**


	21. Chapter 21

_But this sweet trusting brilliant young woman , champion of houselves, knitter for squibs, defender of greasy potions masters...Even abused , hurt , tortured by cruel and vicious men , no doubt many wearing the same mark as he , her caring and loyalty shone through and she still trusted him unequivocally...saw past the mask , past the snark and judged him on his actions , not on his persona or reputation. She saw him. He reached to touch his hand to his cheek where she'd kissed him and he realised with a start that the feeling of her magic tingling through him had a purpose after all... she'd healed his lip, that she had caught earlier in her struggle in the bathroom._

_"I always knew you were a good man"_

_Barking out a hysterical laugh , he rested his head in his hands and wept angry tears, as the beast inside him howled in empathy for the girl, until he fell into an exhausted sleep._

* * *

He didn't know how long he'd been asleep when his bladder woke him with the insistent need that , _yes he must definitely go **now**  , and you should have thought about it earlier when you were drinking all that tea and whiskey._

Walking into the bathroom he first checked that she could not see him through the open door by moving the screen Minerva had transfigured, he also threw up a quick silencing spell.  _The girl doesn't need to be woken up by the sound of your half hungover self pissing like a racehorse Severus_

He was just flushing the toilet when he heard a whimper from the bedroom. Waiting a moment to see if it was a one off , there was silence for a while and then another whimper.

Looking through the window by the light coming through the black lake it must be nearly dawn , 4 or 5am at the most , and it was gone midnight when she was finally put to bed , she should be well asleep by now and he hoped she wasn't have nightmares.

He was debating what to do when another louder whimper came from the room, and he made his choice.

Walking up to the bedroom he tapped on the door.

"Hermione...are you awake?" There was another whimper in responce.

"I'm going to come in , in 10 seconds so please make sure you're decent" There was nothing else he could do , he couldn't ask her what the problem was , as she could not answer, so this was the only thing he could think of , while still ensuring she had some privacy

Nervously he waited and after the 10 seconds were up he spoke again

"All right...I'm coming in"

He was not prepared for the sight that met him

"FUCK"

* * *

There was blood all down her arms, she'd been scratching at herself again, badly. Her body was damp with sweat and it was obvious she had been twisting and turning in the bed from the way she was wrapped up in the quilt.

Most worrying of all, she was shaking, and not just a little tremble...she was as his manc father would have said  _"Shaking like a shitting dog" ._

Tremors ran up and down her body so much she was practically vibrating, and her legs kept twitching as whimpers broke from her throat.

_Fuck what this the infection ? or was she having a bad reaction to the potion...Poppy had checked her records for allergies but she had none he was sure of it!_

He jumped to action and started by wrenching her hands away from herself to prevent her from injuring herself any further.

Her eyes snapped to his and he saw the state of her pupils and suddenly it all made sense.

_Shit he did not need this._

"For fucks sake Granger what have you been taking?!"

She whimpered loudly and her eyes rolled back as her body convulsed, and he did his best to hold onto her.  
He was scared now , her body temperature was too high and her pupils were pin pricks... the signs had been there, the twitching and scratching but he hadn't put it together.

"You're in withdrawal Hermione...I need to know what you've been taking"

_Merlin what could he do? She could've been exposed to anything in there..._

_"Fuck...fuck...fuck"_  he sent his patronus off to Poppy as another convulsion racked through her , he held her tight and did his best to stop her from hurting herself.

"Hermione I need to know what you've taken" he pulled her chin to him so she was looking at him eye to eye. She seemed to be making an effort and he concentrated and dove, instantly recognising the memory he had been pulled into before of the man who had forced her to her knees and assaulted her in her cell.

This time he wasn't pulled out of the memory.

* * *

" _It's been a long time since I had me a nice willing witch , thanks for that love , never been one to force myself on a girl that says no… I'm glad you're so agreeable , makes things go a lot easier… I think this will be a very profitable agreement don't you ? I'll see you later mudblood"_

_The girl curled up onto herself and continued to cry before reaching into her robes and pulling out a…._

_...A bottle ...a potions vial , nothing special... nothing official , something that you'd get out of knockturn alley or indeed some shifty prison circuit._

_He watched as still sobbing she downed the vial and then... nothing... her sobs ceased , her eyes dilated and she simply sat back against the wall and stared at nothing._

_He tried to get a closer look at the vial but there was nothing distinguishable about it , he couldn't see any name or makers mark , there was nothing distinct , it was completely unremarkable._

* * *

_Fuck..shit...that doesn't help at all_

"Hermione...that doesn't help me...I know you've been taking a potion but I need to know what was in it , what it was"

There were so many dark and illegal potions that people took recreationally that it could have been any number of things, some were so addictive they could have serious side affects, including death if you stopped taking them.

He heard the floo activate in his rooms and poppy's feet rushing on the stones.

"Poppy's coming Hermione...we're going to help you , just try to stay calm and focussed"

"Severus...where!?"

"Bedroom Poppy hurry !"

The witch flew through the door, still in her nightgown with a robe hastily thrown on top.

"Nimune's Knickers Severus what is this?"

"Withdrawl"

"Oh Merlin... what from?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out !"

The mediwitch came over and was about to cast when Hermione jerked in his arms whimpering

"Easy Hermione... easy , Poppy needs to help you now , this is very important just look at me...Hermione...Hermione...LOOK AT ME "

When he raised his voice her eyes snapped to his as tremors shook through her body , Poppy used the oppurtunity to begin casting diagnostics

"Do you know what you took?" a whimper and she shook her head no.

"Shit !" He was startled to hear the curse from Poppy , it was not like her to swear

"Poppy?"

"Something I missed earlier , I got sidetracked with her teeth and tongue , she's got potions burns in her throat , if I'd have seen that earlier I would have known she had been taking dodgy potions and could have done something before the withdrawal go this bad"

"You can't blame yourself Poppy, do you have any idea what she's on ?"

"No...there are lots of things it could be and each worse than the last, whatever it is it's burned out of her system quickly, she must have been dosing at least once a day because she wasn't in withdrawal when she arrived here"

_Fucking merlins fucking bollocks could he not get a break_

The girls convulsions had died down as Poppy cast complicated charms to cool her blood, they would not last long term but at least she was no longer under risk of seizure from the high temperature , though she was still running a fever, Poppy began to heal her arms but as she went to remove the cravat tied at her wrist the girl jerked her arm back so violently she nearly hit herself and poppy was zapped with a small electrical charge as the girls breathing increased in his arms

"Easy Hermione she's not taking it..." He stared at Poppy to emphasise that fact

"She'll just move it to heal your arms then put it right back...now look at me" Once more she turned to meet his gaze

"In all my years you are the best potions student that I have ever had the opportunity to teach, I know you must be able to give me something... any details about the potion you were taking...I have faith in you."

Taking a deep breath the girl seemed to collect herself as she closed her eyes and attempted to relax in his arms , as Poppy fought with various healing charms to try and combat the symptoms of the withdrawal.

Steeling herself she nodded and then met his eyes.

It was the strangest sensation , He'd never had memories shared with him like this before.  
Instead of the usual feeling which was like being a visitor in a private pensieve, he was getting just sensory and tactile information as she tried to focus on the smallest details.

_The potion vial was cold in her hands , **unnaturally cold**... the drink cold in her mouth... but it did not hurt like everything else did , in fact,  **when she took it she felt nothing.**_

_**Sweet, blessed nothing.**   
_

_She wasn't happy, or elated or high... but she wasn't in pain either, no fear or shame_

_She just simply wasn't_

_A small amount spills on her finger, **deep rich purple**  , as she puts it into her mouth , this was hard earned, she pays with her soul, pride and her dignity and she will not waste a drop._

_The taste is there but yet it is nothing , it is not good nor is it bad, it's just there... Earthy notes of **Valerian**  , the strange taste almost like tomatoes- **Nightshade.**.. there are others too, familiar yet cannot be placed._

_It **smells like death**  , putrid and sickly sweet...but death is not necessarily a bad thing, not here where life is so much worse_

"Oh  _FUCK_...oh  _Shit_...Hermione no... what have you done"

Poppy was looking at him worriedly as the girl still trembled in his arms with tears running down her face.

"Dementor's Kiss Poppy...she's been taking Dementor's Kiss"

* * *

_AN: / Oh Dear, Poor Hermione... Please review guys x_


	22. Chapter 22

_"Oh FUCK...oh Shit...Hermione no... what have you done"_

_Poppy was looking at him worriedly as the girl still trembled in his arms with tears running down her face._

_"Dementor's Kiss Poppy...she's been taking Dementor's Kiss"_

* * *

"Severus... I don't even know what to do"

They stared at each other a long time , neither knowing what to say.

Dementors Kiss was first and foremost a poison...and consisted of numerous poisonous elements, but on top that it had a huge amount of sedatives, painkilling and calming ingredients, as well as those used in mind magics.

It was highly addictive, to those that needed it , and when it didn't kill you outright , it was very easy to become frightfully dependant on it for those in a situation bad enough to consider taking it a viable option.

What it did was replicate the effects of a dementors kiss, hence the name, by putting a mental barrier between yourself and your own mind/soul.

Similar to occlumency this temporary barrier would cause the taker to become an empty shell, a husk with no emotions. There was no happiness, no love , nothing good...but at the same time it took away all the bad aswell... no anger, fear or pain, so to those in dire situations it was worth the risk.  
Most People feared getting kissed by a dementor, but spend enough time in Azkaban surrounded by them , and the pain and suffering that goes with it , and the kiss starts to look  _really_  inviting... an escape from the overwhelming darkness of their lives.

Most people take it once and then never again , too traumatised by the seperation from their self... but for those whose suffering was unspeakable, if you took it a second time, you were addicted.

The seperation from your body and your soul starts to have longstanding affects, happiness the most fragile of emotions is the hardest to regain, as your body starts to forget what it was , take the potion long enough and eventually you do not need it to maintain the wall between yourself and your emotions , it becomes a permanant feature in your mind , until the person is left nothing more than empty shell , as if they had truly been kissed.

He knew Hermione was not that far gone , and he had a good idea when she became desperate enough to begin taking something , the problem now was they needed to go cold turkey, there was no way she could be allowed any more of the volatile potion , nor could she have any other potions that numbed her body or mind... meaning pain relief, calming draft and dreamless sleep were all out of the question... lest her body fall into the old pattern of separating from her soul.

"Severus...this just got exponentially harder didn't it ?"

"That would be putting it mildly"

The girl in his arms was still sweating and shaking as she looked to him for an explanation

"Because of what you've been taking... a number of potions will no longer be able to be used in your care, among those are pain relief , calming draft and dreamless sleep"

The girls eyes widened at that, as tears spilled over and her breath hitched

"You will have to go cold turkey, the potion is far too dangerous to take and the ingredients far too habit forming for you to have access to in the mean time, now you have already started to become dependant on the effects...do you understand?"

A choked sob and a nod from her shuddering frame , there was a question in her eyes and her hand rose to her face , and he understood her concern.

"You will still be able to take the musclegro tomorrow night , or later tonight as it were...but it will be uncomfortable , like the skelegro you will have to go without pain relief , in fact it will be a number of weeks before it will be safe to start using some potions , and even then it will have to be restricted"

Her shoulders lost a bit of their tension at that and she nodded , only to grasp his shoulder tightly as another convulsion ran through her.

"Easy...easy...breathe through it girl" Poppy was once again casting the charms on the shaking girl.

"I'm afraid there is not much more I can do here Severus, you need to keep her temperature down by any means necessary , and you probably know better than I what not to give her...Keep her cool , hydrated and watch her for self destructive behaviour. It may get worse before it gets better ,and she will probably lash out at you, but don't take it to heart , her emotions will be all over the place and she's probably going to fight a lot of nausea and muscle pain aswell..."

"I have her on nutrient potions and one to fight infection, plus she is scheduled to have the musclegro tonight once you have done the debridement"

"Yes, they all sound fine Severus... make sure to keep on top of the nutrition and the dehydration , especially now , I would brew extra as you're going to have nausea to contend with"

He inclined his head in acceptance , and poppy dropped a kiss on the girls head and left them to it , as she was leaving she turned and addressed him over her shoulder.

"Severus...she shouldn't be left alone, not while she's still in withdrawl, she may still be our Hermione but addiction clouds the mind and she can't be trusted"

"Poppy I hope you're not suggesting what I think you are..."

"It's for her own safety Severus... I don't think the girl will mind"

"She won't mind , she didn't want me to leave earlier but I have no desire to defend myself against Minerva when she finds me in bed with her favourite cub!"

At his words the girl in his arms held herself closer to him , as if responding that yes she really would like him to stay.

"I'll explain all to Minerva, Severus. Just focus on what's best for the girl"

"It's not proper poppy..." he began when the mediwitch turned and snapped at him, in a show of more anger than he'd ever seen from the Hufflepuff

"It's not Proper? Proper?! It's not Proper  _Severus_  for an innocent girl to be taken to azkaban, it's not proper for her to be raped and tortured and abused , it's not proper for insane bigots to sterilise the girl because they believe she isn't worthy to have children...it's not proper for the brightest witch of her age to have to turn to dark potions to stop herself from going mad under the strain of it all... don't tell me what isn't proper Severus, if having you with her gives that girl some semblance of comfort then so help me Merlin I will chain you to the flipping bed If I have to !"

He was pretty sure his jaw was still hanging open at that last exclamation as the witch exited his chambers with her nose in the air , and as he felt shaking in his arms he looked down to see the girl...not crying but looking at his stricken face and silently laughing, even as a few tears escaped her still.

"That's right Granger laugh it up , Severus Snape just got scolded like a naughty little boy"

He wanted to be embarassed, but he couldn't fight the relief he felt in her laughter, knowing that even the tiniest amount of happiness was accesible to her, meant the damage done by the potion was not permanant.

Heaving a sigh , he lifted the girl properly in his arms and seated himself on the bed with her in his lap , as he settled himself in for a long night of watching over her.

* * *

 

**AN / Love to all my followers and fav'ers , please review and let me know how you're liking it.**


	23. Chapter 23

_"That's right Granger laugh it up , Severus Snape just got scolded like a naughty little boy"_

_He wanted to be embarassed, but he couldn't fight the relief he felt in her laughter, knowing that even the tiniest amount of happiness was accesible to her, meant the damage done by the potion was not permanant._

_Heaving a sigh , he lifted the girl properly in his arms and seated himself on the bed with her in his lap , as he settled himself in for a long night of watching over her._

* * *

It didn't take long before they had to relocate from the bedroom to the bathroom. He was exhausted and didn't have the strength to keep casting constant cooling charms over her , and the soft bed that she had so looked forward to , was too stifling as her body was wracked with tremors and fever sweats.

They were now camped out on the bathroom floor , she had began vomiting in the toilet but had little other than potions, water and weak tea in her system , and he gave her an antiemetic potion as soon as she stopped heaving , the last thing her raw throat needed was that now she had an empty stomach, for her to be vomiting bile and stomach acids.

He gently cleaned her face with a damp washcloth , shushing her as she tried to push him away in her embarassment / shame, but he would not allow it.

"Calm yourself girl, you're not the first person to be sick you know" still she cried out her shame, and he hated that more than anything.

She was laid on the cold stone floor , which he'd cast a cushioning charm on , her body was hot with fever but she shivered as a clammy sweat was building on her skin and she was wracked with bone deep tremors , so he covered her with a thin sheet to try and keep off the chill and laid out alongside her , lending his body heat.

They were, for want of a better term, spooning...and he had his arm underneath the pillow that her head was resting on.

Every hour or so , he gave her small amounts of water and nutrition potion, along with a small dose of anti emetic to ensure she kept it down , it didn't stop the horrendous stomach cramps and other muscle cramps , but at least she wasn't vomiting any more.

He stayed awake for as long as he could , hours in fact , rubbing her back , arms and legs when he felt the muscles spasming. He knew he couldn't stay awake forever though , and she was coming in and out of consciousness... so setting an alarm with a tempus on his wand, he allowed himself to drift off to sleep, thankful he always had the foresight to have ample potions stores , as he was making his way through them quite quickly.

* * *

36 hours it took in the end , before the fever broke and the worst of the tremors faded away.

36 hours of sleeping on a cold stone floor in his dungeon quarters bathroom , with being woken every 2 hours to give her water and nutrition potions.

36 hours of soothing her while she sobbed in pain and distress.

36 hours of holding her trembling body to his chest, to freely offer whatever little comfort she could gain from his presence.

36 hours... then the difficult part began

* * *

6 days now until the start of term, and self destruction was becoming more and more of an issue as she went through the various stages of withdrawl, he had to hold her for hours when she had once more drawn blood as she clawed at her arms.

She'd met his eyes and he'd dove into her mind to see what she was trying to show him , and had promptly removed himself when he felt like his skin was crawling...Just as she felt it , like her skin was crawling with thousands of insects burrowing their way in and out.

He could do naught but hold her tighter and try to talk to her as she screamed , she cried , she fought and she kicked him and even tried to bite him at one point , all in her quest to dislodge him so that she could tear into her arms in an attempt to remove the sensation of the swarming insects.

It took nearly 24 hours for the bugs to disappear.

* * *

5 days now until the start of term and she was finally well enough for her to have a bath , and for them to regrow her tongue.

For the first time since her arrival she didn't want him looking at her when she was being treated by Poppy , so as the witch debrided her tongue of the thick scar tissue, he sat back to back with the girl , offering his solid presence but giving her the privacy she wanted .

That night was one of the worse.

The pain from the skelegro was nauseating, he knew from experience but when she took the musclegro the sickening tremors that shook her body , as her muscles twitched and she pulled at her hair and curled into a fetal position ,belied just how much she was suffering through the night.

For the first time that night , she faced him as they lay in the bed , instead of their habitual 'spoon' , she buried her face in his chest even as her sobs wet his shirt , and held him with a tight grip throughout the night , as he tucked her head under his chin and did his best to comfort her.

More than once she dashed to the bathroom and vomited from the pain , he longed to give her potions but he could not whilst her tongue was regrowing , instead she simply had to settle for rinsing her mouth with water , and him gently rubbing her back.

* * *

4 Days now until the start of term, she still had not spoken to any of them and he knew she was remembering. She had been in such a disassociative state when she arrived, between her occlumency and the dementors kiss, that she had effectively shut out the lions share of her emotions and memories of her time in Azkaban.

Now with neither buffer available , and her mind clear of the withdrawl fever, she was feeling the full effect of her emotions and memories , and she was not coping well.

Both Poppy and Minerva had tried to speak to her , but neither could get anywhere as she seemed to sink into a deep melancholy and want nothing to do with either witch , shunning their attentions and flinching away when they tried to touch her.

He was the only one that could get through to her, get any kind of responce from her. She didn't even react when Poppy drew a wand on her anymore , as long as she didn't touch her.

He knew he had to do something to engage her mind in the here and now , to keep her from dwelling on the past and losing her to the deep depression she was spiralling into.

* * *

He did not need to say anything , as she simply followed him wherever he went, apart from the bathroom fortunately.

So when he put on his full robes and exited his quarters through the entrance to his private lab , all he had to do was leave the door open and sure enough a few moments later she had followed him through.

She stood unsure , looking around at her surroundings, as he began to gather ingredients that would be required for the number of brews that he had to catch up on.

She was fully mobile now , but still sore so he added a cushioning charm to one of the lab chairs for her, and pulled it away from the counter next to where he intended to work. He always worked standing so had no need for the chair , and she took the hint and sat beside him.

She showed no interest in anything he was doing , seemingly content to spend her time staring at her hands, as long as she was near him...and that just wouldn't do.

Placing a Jar of beetles in front of her , and three more smaller jars labelled 'eyes' 'wings' and 'shells' and an empty bowl he began to work.

It took a few minutes , but eventually she reached out for the jar of beetles with a shaking hand , and pulled one out.  He watched from the corner of his eye as she expertly separated the beetle into the required parts, and then placed the leftovers in the bowl. When she had finished she took a deep breath and met his eyes , something she had not done all day , he glanced at the beetle she had prepared , looked back to her and gave her a nod , then carried on with his work.

He heard her exhale , and then her shaking hand once more reached for the jar as she began to repeat the process again.

When she had finished the whole jar of beetles , he vanished the leftovers and placed another ingredient on the desk in front of her.

Shrivelfigs to be peeled , nightshade to be stripped of it's flowers... on and on he gave her ingredients to prepare as he carried on with his brewing.

Neither said a word and she completed each ingredient impeccably.

After a few hours of this he heard her sniffle and noticed she was crying as she continued to work and made no signs of stopping, but for the first time he did not rush to soothe her, instead allowing her to cry.

These tears she needed , these tears would help. They were healing tears.

* * *

**AN/ What do you think guys ? Please leave your reviews, every one is appreciated sooooo much  x**


	24. Chapter 24

_After a few hours of this he heard her sniffle and noticed she was crying as she continued to work and made no signs of stopping, but for the first time he did not rush to soothe her, instead allowing her to cry._

_These tears she needed , these tears would help. They were healing tears._

* * *

3 days now until the start of term , and her friends would be wondering where she was.

Despite now having both her tongue and her teeth , she had made no attempt to speak to any of them.

Poppy gave her exercises to do with her tongue , to build up the strength of the new muscle, she nodded when asked if she was doing them, but would otherwise refuse to attempt to speak to anyone.

She would complete tasks he set in front of her , but she was rooted deep in her melancholy and showed no interest in her surroundings.

Poppy made potions requests for the hospital wing, which hermione would brew exceptionally as always , but you could see that her heart was not in it.

He'd become increasingly uncomfortable with their sleeping situation , she did not want to be far away from him , and he was concerned about her closeness.

He'd attempted to get her to sleep in the bedroom alone, once she was over the worst withdrawl signs, but she would not have it , the best he had managed was to have Minerva transfigure his double bed into two singles , and even then she moved them closer together so she could reach out and touch him.

Night was the worst as she was wracked with night terrors , dreamless sleep only worked on dreams not memories, and she could not have had it anyway.

She would reach out for him in the night , even if it was just to hold a handful of his shirt , and on the worse dreams where she'd wake up practically choking on her tears she would push the beds together and lay trembling in his arms until she fell into an exhausted sleep for a few short hours.

* * *

He decided that maybe it would be wise to take her to see her parents , her mother in particular would be worried he was sure, and it might do the girl some good, now she was out of withdrawl... so he was extremely surprised when she snorted when he brought it up and looked sourly away.

"You do not think your parents will be concerned about you ?"

She shook her head in the negative , a dark look on her face, and didn't look at him.

_Strange... why would she think her parents would not be frantic ? He'd asked Dumbledore if he'd spoken to the Grangers, and the idiotic man said it must have slipped his mind...that was happening more and more often lately and Severus was getting tired of it_

Hating himself already, he tried another angle.

"You have a familiar, do you not ? Would you not care to retrieve him ?"

That got a responce. She shot of her chair and gave him a panicked look , and he was once again baffled by her reaction.

"Then let's go see your parents, and while doing so we can retrieve your familiar, along with anything else you require yes ?"

He was given a rather frantic nod at that...  _very peculiar, all this over a damn cat ?_

"We will need to transfigure you some more suitable attire for public"

She was still in his shrunken shirt and shorts, Minerva had brought her some clothes from lost property but she refused to change them , instead cleaning them with a quick wandless tergeo every day.

Glancing down at herself , she waved her hand and wandlessly transfigured the outfit into plain black robes, then once more gave him that frantic look.

"You wish to go...now ?" she nodded desperately

This was going...rather better than he had hoped, he thought it would take him a long time to persuade her to leave the castle , but here she was raring to go.

They left the dungeons and she remained close by his side , as he moderated his usual brisk pace to allow for her smaller frame.

She was determined he saw , her chin was held high and she never faltered a step...but he could see she was also terrified, her body shook and her lip trembled and her eyes shone , but she was determined to see this through.

They arrived at the apparation point , and she tucked her arm into his.

"Have you ever apparated side along before?" A nod was his answer.

"Right , you need to show me where we're going"

She looked into his eyes, and he saw the large semi detached in a nice neighbourhood , right on the surface of her mind, he gave her a nod

"Prepare yourself"

She steeled herself in his arms , and stuck her eyes shut , still trembling. She's shaking like a leaf, is she really putting herself through this for a damn cat ?

* * *

They arrived at the house with a quiet pop , and she shook in his arms.

Her nerve seemed to have left her , as they stared at the back door.

She'd suggested to him in her shared memory it was safer to apparate to the back door in the garden, as there was no chance of being seen there, unlike the front step in front of all their neighbours.

It was obvious she was not ready for this , her pulse was racing and she was sweating and she looked as if she was about to drop where she stood.

"Hermione...you are not ready for this, I'm sorry...let us return"

He didn't get to finish what he was saying because she grabbed his hand and shook her head frantically as a few tears fell down her face.

It was obvious something was clearly upsetting her , but she was not ready for this.

He took her to sit under the shade of the large tree in her garden, before she could drop , she was almost hyperventilating again.

"What if...what if I went and spoke to your parents, let them know you are safely back at hogwarts and retrieve your familiar , and we can save the family reunion for another time?"

Her eyes shut and a few relieved tears fell down her face as she nodded gratefully to him.

"Wait here, and I will return shortly"

She grasped at the cravat still adorning her wrist, and nodded as she tried to regain control of her breathing , as he walked towards the house.

* * *

_Well...that was...he didn't have words for what that was._

He'd assumed she'd had such a good homelife, she certainly seemed like she'd never wanted for anything, but those heartless monsters shouldn't have the right to call themselves parents.

When she saw him return , carrying a shrunken box and no feline , she buried her head in her hands , and without looking at him, spoke the first words since her return.

Her voice was soft and low , and had a smoky quality to it that was not there before, thanks to the potions damage, Poppy had warned it could be a possibility but he didn't understand until now just how it would affect her...her voice was always pleasing, but with the huskiness added from the scarring in her throat...there was no other way he could put it , it was a sex voice , and seemed so out of place coming from her in this situation.

"is he dead?"

"No he is not... they took him but the vets refused to put a healthy cat down , instead they were persuaded to sign him over, he's at the local shelter if he has not been adopted yet"

She took a deep shaky sigh in relief, and turned her attention to the box in his hands and he answered her unspoken question.

"Everything muggle is gone already...donated, they didn't want to touch anything from our world , so they had left it until they could figure out what to do with it, so I shrank it all down and packed it all"

She simply nodded in acceptance, seemingly not shocked that her parents had so easily cut her out of their life.

"You suspected as much ?" another nod from her.

"I apologise...I had no idea they were so...superficial, I am sorry that I forced you to endure this"

She shook her head and wiped a few tears, then bit her lip and gave him a pleading look , which he understood perfectly.

"Come , let us retrieve your familiar"

* * *

The retrieval went as well as it could have , and he thanked the divines that the cat was still in the shelter and not adopted out , he'd been aware of the cantankerous feline and it's reputation for clawing people and objects, and so was relieved when the cat approached him straight away.

"You must have a way with cats, he was down to be destroyed at the end of the week if we couldn't find someone to take him on , there's so many cats needing homes without his good looks and personality!"

He sneered at the shelter assistant, and tried not to cringe as the cat shed hairs all over his robes.

A quick confundus and he was leaving with the familiar in tow.

The cat jumped out of his arms the second they exited the building , and made its yowling way over to the girl , who fell to her knees to receive him into her arms and pressed her face into his fur and sobbed , even as a big smile was on her face, as the purring feline rubbed up against her.

He suddenly decided the mass of ginger fur on his robes, and no doubt soon to be in the rest of his chambers, was worth it , if it made her smile like that.

* * *

 

**AN/ Please let me know what you think . don't worry we'll learn a bit more about the situation with her parents in the next chapter.**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW, it's what keeps me going x**


	25. Chapter 25

The cat jumped out of his arms the second they exited the building , and made its yowling way over to the girl , who fell to her knees to receive him into her arms and pressed her face into his fur and sobbed , even as a big smile was on her face, as the purring feline rubbed up against her.

He suddenly decided the mass of ginger fur on his robes, and no doubt soon to be in the rest of his chambers, was worth it , if it made her smile like that.

* * *

"And they didn't ask about her...care what had happened?"

He was sat in his sitting room drinking tea with Minvera and Poppy, Hermione was in the bedroom with her familiar.

"They cared more about appearances than their own daughter, if they were american I would've called them Wasps , but as it stands I shall just say superficial ...they cared more about their perfect image, of their perfect life, perfect home and perfect daughter... it seems Hermione was only as useful to them as a trophy that they could show off her successes, from what I could gather from her, things had been strained ever since she got her letter"

Minerva and Poppy both looked upset at that.

"I had no idea her home life was so bad... you don't think they...?"

"No... Heartless Yes, Neglectful most assuredly, Physically abusive? No."

"One small mercy at least"

"I've been able to ascertain that when she was at home from hogwarts, she took her GCSE's and even her A levels already , and her absence from home most of the year was explained as her attending an exclusive arts college, they lauded her as a child prodigy, managing to gain top grades on her exams practically in her spare time... she was brought out and shown off at evens at their home, and local business meetings, the perfect trophy daughter. She's had everything she ever could want ,Horse riding lessons , money , clothes ,books and private tutors...whatever a young witch would desire. It seems that she never wanted for anything in her whole life but for parents. For the most part they've not been a part of her life, she's so self sufficient because they've been leaving her on her own in the house since she was about 7 , while they jet off to Paris and Aspen among others"

"Merlin Severus ! , no wonder she's so independent the poor lamb"

"Indeed , they abhorred everything to do with magic, as it's an 'affront to the church' , yet at the same time they seemed to think there would be some personal gain by allowing her to be taught it, thought she would be able to duplicate money many or confund people to help them climb the social ladder something like that... as it became obvious that was not the case, and as things got more dangerous over the years with the return of the dark lord, they were becoming more and more distanced from her , as she was less and less inclined to be shown off like a trophy, they had always assumed when she finished hogwarts that would be the end of it and she'd go to muggle university and get a degree... obviously they must have eventually realised that being a witch is not something she can just turn off and be done with, and after being apprehended by the aurors they'd had enough...an ex con daughter is unacceptable, witch or muggle, so they simply cut her out of their lives, burned her off the family tree so to speak , all her muggle possessions were donated to the first local charity that would take them , and her magical items were fortunately spared as they daren't touch it"

"That poor girl , all her things, her whole life outside of the school ?"

He nodded sombrely

"They even tried to have her familiar destroyed... because he was an 'abomination' due to being half 'beast' "

Minerva and Poppy both gasped at that, raising a hand to cover their mouths

"Severus they didn't ?"

"Indeed they did , fortunately the vet they took him to refused to destroy a healthy animal for no reason and instead persuaded them to sign him into the care of a cat shelter, even then we were fortunate to retrieve him when we did , the half kneazle had been frantic, trying to escape to get to the witch no doubt, and had taken a chunk out of more than one employee, they had him down to be destroyed that week if he didn't calm down."

"It just doesn't end for that poor girl"

They all took a moment to stare at the closed door of his bedroom where the young witch was hiding inside.

* * *

Severus walked slowly back into the sitting room , closing the bedroom door behind him.

"She wouldn't come out ?"

That was Minerva, and her voice had a slight tone of hurt to it .

"She more or less shut down again, whatever adrenaline was fueling her was the desire to rescue her familiar, once he was safe in her arms again she withdrew back in to herself, though she does not wish to let him go and for the moment he's not wanting to leave her side either...and the blasted moggy is getting ginger hairs allover my bedroom"

Both witches chuckled at that as he angrily sat down and took a sip of his tea.

"And how is the sleeping situation, I know you were uncomfortable"

He grimaced at that as he took another swallow of his tea.

"I am hoping that having her familiar will allow her to accept some distance from me. I will help her however I can but I am worried about her becoming too reliant on my presence. For the most part she will go to her own bed without complaint, but she gets into mine when she has the night terrors which is often , all told she may only get a couple of hours sleep a night"

They both gave sad looks in sympathy.

"The night terrors are still bad ?"

"What do you think, after everything she's been through, they're atrocious"

"Can she not have dreamless sleep ?"

"No , it cannot be risked with the Dementors Kiss, perhaps down the line she may have it in small doses if the nightmares persist"

"And you Severus?" That was Poppy

"How are YOU coping ?"

Sighing into his cup , he didn't quite know how to answer that and found his fury building into a rant he could not hold back

"Honestly ? I have no idea. I am so angry , furious at what's happened , I could murder every one of them that dared touch her...but Albus still has me sworn to service so I cannot break my cover as to be seen caring for her, as if what little useful knowledge can be gained from the ramblings of that demented monster are of any use whatsoever to his blaster Greater Good! The Dark Lord will not have his followers in Azkaban long, some of the ones apprehended were inner circle, Yaxley, Dolohov, Macnair, Malfoy.. he will have them removed one way or another and back into active service, and what if they were the ones who hurt her? raped her ? I will have to speak with these monsters, drink with them , break bread with them and act as though they are my friends when really I want to rip their goddamn eyeballs out their sockets with my bare hands if they so much as looked at her whilst she was in there... I am completely impotent with rage because that twinkling madman would rather have one up over the dark lord, by having the chance to say he had a spy in his ranks...as if the paranoid bastard ever tells any of his followers any crucial information , he keeps his cards as close to his chest as if they were surgically attached...How much more could I serve the order if I didn't have to answer to his summons and risk coming back half dead every time ? I could fight on the order's side, identify merlin knows how many active death eaters, teach potter to defend himself, show my Slytherins that there is another way than falling to peer pressure...fucking mad man and his greater good"

Both witches were silent at the end of his tirade.

"Sworn to service...Severus, he still holds you under oath? it's been nearly 20 years?..." Minerva asked a hint of steel in her tone

"Apparently I am not  _trusted_  enough to be released from my oath , in case I dare to question our power mad leaders greater good and how he sacrifices his chess pieces to get there"

"Speaking of mad..." Poppy interjected

"...Maybe it's just me, but have either of you noticed the headmaster lately acting a bit..."

"Crazy?" Minerva supplied.

"Sack of Fucking hammers ?" Was Severus's input

A soft sigh from Poppy "...More so than usual ?"

"There are times when he seems to be as irrational, paranoid and unhinged as the Dark Lord...What I don't understand is why he allowed this to happen , he's chief mugwump , how could he not be aware of her being imprisoned ?"

Minerva huffed "I was having a conversation with him last week and he just trailed off in the middle of it and walked away , Albus has always been unique and eccentric but If I didn't know any better I would say he was..."

"...Losing his mind?" Poppy suggested "Great wizard or not , the man is about 150 and has led a very stress filled life...I feel awful saying it, but with magical depletion from running the school wards at his age and stress... he could be going senile"

"Severus...if Albus is found to not be in control of his faculties, a third person could revoke his oath of service over you"

"Who would put themselves forward to do that Minerva , the man wouldn't like his toys being taken away before he can destroy them himself"

"I'd do it Severus , in a heartbeat , I cannot believe the old goat dares still hold you to an oath after everything you've done for the order and the light"

Poppy nodded her head and added "It's true Severus , Potter alone would be dead at least 3 times over if it weren't for you"

He ducked his head , unused to such praise and Minerva tutted him and came to sit by him.

"I've told you before you're a good man Severus, the fact that albus doesn't see it is just another reason to see how blind he is"

"He does not see me , Minerva, no one sees me , they just see what use they can get from me"

"Forgive me Severus" 

"For what ?"

"For this"

She smacked him upside the head, hard.

"Bleeding hell woman are you trying to dislodge my brain!?"

"No , just wanted to slap that idiotic notion right out of your.."

What she was saying was cut off as she was forcibly propelled away from him and slammed into the wall behind as he felt strong shields go up around him, he and poppy quickly turned to see a furious looking Hermione , hair crackling and hand out infront of her as she wandlessly fed her magic to maintain the formidable shield around him.

* * *

 

**AN: Please review , love to you all guys  x**


	26. Chapter 26

_"Bleeding hell woman are you trying to dislodge my brain!?"_

_"No , just wanted to slap that idiotic notion right out of your.."_

_What she was saying was cut off as she was forcibly propelled away from him and slammed into the wall behind as he felt strong shields go up around him, he and poppy quickly turned to see a furious looking Hermione , hair crackling and hand out infront of her as she wandlessly fed her magic to maintain the formidable shield around him._

* * *

Poppy was frozen in terror , tea cup half way to her mouth and he would have found it hilarious were he not in more or less the same situation of abject terror .

Minerva seemed unharmed, just winded but was still wide eyed at being held to the wall by the force of Hermione's magic.

His body thrummed as that strange sensation washed over and through him again , that pleasant tingling feeling like pins and needles on the surface of his skin and he realised it was her magic surrounding and merging with his as she shielded him from his 'attacker' ... _odd that his magic would accept hers so easily._

The witch herself was Hecate incarnate , all fire, brimstone and righteous protective anger... her hair was writhing like snakes and her amber eyes were molten and more alive than he'd seen her since her return, her stance more confident than he thought possible as she effortlessly fuelled her formidable shields around him without a word or a wand.

She took a few steps forward until she was by his side, still holding the shield , shooting him a concerned look and placing herself between him and Minerva. It was obvious he should be stopping her , but he couldn't help but wait,  _for just a moment,_  because he'd never in his life felt so wanted or cared for by anyone. Right here in this room , mediwitch frozen on the sofa , colleague pinned against the wall... and this little lioness , battered, bruised and broken, putting herself between him and his would-be 'attacker' , purely because she wanted to protect him. No one had ever _cared_  enough about him to _fight_  for him , to  _defend_  him, to put themselves between him and danger to shield him from it... and it took his breath away, made his throat tighten and his eyes itch, and  _he would not cry dammit._

"Hermione"

She shot him another concerned look but he could see the initial angry haze, born of her need to protect him, was receding and she was biting her lip and looking from Minerva to him. She obviously felt torn and guilty about attacking the gryffindor matriarch , but at the same time she was not letting go of her protective shields around him.

Poppy and Minerva were wisely keeping to themselves, while he attempted to diffuse the volatile situation.

Her control of her wandless and nonverbal magic was astounding, easily on par with his own , but in her emotional state without a wand this type of unfocused magic could easily break free of her control and cause insurmountable damage.

"Hermione, release Minerva, I'm fine..."

Her hand was trembling as she fought to hold back her mixed emotions, tears were threatening to spill from her eyes as she still looked from Mcgonnagol to him, it obviously was upsetting her a great deal to have attacked Minerva, but when she stepped a bit closer to him and lightly touched the side of his face in concern , he understood what he had to do.

He grabbed her hand and rose to his feet , to show her that he was indeed fine.

"It's alright Hermione, it's just a misunderstanding , Minerva didn't hurt me , she was just trying to knock some sense into me when I said something moronic, nothing untoward, please can you let her down for me... I'm sure Minerva will understand , she won't be upset at you"

He locked his eyes with hers and pushed the memory of the interaction to the surface so she could see for herself what had happened.

With a whimper she buried her face in his arm and dropped her shields suddenly. Minerva took a deep relieved breath, and moved towards them from the wall , only to stop as the girl, now shaking as the adrenaline wore off, cried out in dismay and once more moved behind him... previous confidence forgotten.

It seemed she was more than willing to fight to the death to protect him , but her confidence faltered at the thought of protecting herself, either that or she was afraid of being punished for her actions.

"It's alright Hermione, I'm very sorry to have scared you, it was all just a misunderstanding like Severus said, I had no intentions of harming him and I apologise if I upset you , but you did not hurt me, or anger met there's no harm done"

She had both hands fisted in his coat, tears slipping down her cheeks and was stood half behind him, biting her lip and staring at Minerva.

Poppy was sitting quietly on the sofa, looking helplessly between the three of them.

He could practically feel her heartbeat as Minerva worked her way closer slowly.

When she was stood in front of them , she gently reached her hand out to place it on Hermione's , which was still holding onto him.

"Hermione ? "

Another soft whimper and he heard her breath hitching.

"Och, come her bairn"

The witch gently pulled on Hermione's hand , and the girl went willingly into her arms , accepting a hug from the older witch.

"I'm so sorry, I know what he means to you and I didn't mean to upset either of ye , I'm sorry"

Hermione didn't reply , but just nodded gently against the witches shoulder.

Minerva pulled back a moment later, holding the girl at arms length with a hand on each arm, letting go to grab her hanky to wipe the girls teary face, she got a soft smile for that .

"And I'm so sorry about your parents lass...they don't deserve you"

The smile dropped from her face at that , and she her eyes fell to the floor even as she nodded.

It pained him to see her hurt, he knew she wasn't close to her parents, never had been, but it must still have hurt her on some level to feel so rejected by them.

He placed a hand on the small of her back to offer his support, and he felt her lean gratefully into him.

Minerva tipped the girls chin up with her knuckle and looked into her sad eyes.

"You've always been one of my cubs bairn , this just means I get to keep you now, you ever need a mam you've got one"

Minerva cupped her cheeks gently with her hands, and Tears slipped down hermione's face at that and she gave a watery smile and nodded to the witch covering one of her hands with hers.

Poppy cleared her throat from the sofa.

"I'm not exactly mother material, and I don't think you could get better than what you've got... but if the position of crazy aunt is open , I'm pretty sure I could fill that"

Another soft smile and grateful nod.

Both women turned to him then , followed by the girl.

Minerva arched an eyebrow as she looked him over "This one ? Hell there's no accounting for taste, you picked him, you can have  _him_  for free"

Hermione looked up at him questioningly and he smirked as he spoke

"No Refunds"

She finally laughed at that, the last few tears squeezing out of the corner of her eyes as she wrapped her arms round him in a hug.

Then Poppy interjected and he froze at her words

"By the way Hermione, you were in the bedroom...just how did you know what happened to Severus ?"

* * *

**AN / Sorry for the delay in updates , I've been on holiday a few days**

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	27. Chapter 27

Minerva arched an eyebrow as she looked him over "This one ? Hell there's no accounting for taste, you picked him, you can have  _him_  for free"

Hermione looked up at him questioningly and he smirked as he spoke

"No Refunds"

She finally laughed at that, the last few tears squeezing out of the corner of her eyes as she wrapped her arms round him in a hug.

Then Poppy interjected and he froze at her words

"By the way Hermione, you were in the bedroom...just how did you know what happened to Severus ?"

* * *

 _How did she know indeed._  The ugly suspicion in his mind reared its head once more , and he vehemently would not give it voice.

She, still not speaking to anyone, gave him a panicked look and he quickly fronted an answer for the witches.

"Myself and Miss Granger have been using a lot of legillimency to communicate , no doubt the mental 'connection' as it were, has not been fully closed off , she no doubt sensed something through the residual link there , some strong emotion or echo of pain, it's something we shall have to work on closing when we're not directly communicating , less another misunderstanding happen"

Quite impressed with his ability to think on the fly, he begged the girl with his eyes to corroborate his story which she did with a small nod to the two witches.

Poppy seemed to accept his words at face value , but Minerva gave a shrewd look between the two of them

"Hermione ?"

The girl offered her a small smile and a nod in responce and the witch dropped the subject, though the look she shot him clearly said  _for now._

* * *

The two witches had said their goodbyes, leaving him once more alone in his chambers with Hermione.

She had changed into her night clothes, which similar to her day clothes were a transfigured pair of his boxer shorts and a shirt , her day clothes were the same , only a transfigured pair of sweat pants instead of shorts.

He had donned his own night wear, a pair of sweat pants and a long sleeve T shirt , black of course. Usually he would go bare chested , but he made the decision to have the long sleeve shirt, not to protect his modesty but to cover up the dark mark for her benefit.

They were sat on the sofa together in his room , both nursing a cup of tea and her feline familiar was stretched in the middle between them , extended in that way that only felines can.

He was once more lost for words, long silences were not uncommon between them , seeing as she'd only spoke one sentence to him since her release, but this was the first awkward silence they'd sat through.

Thankfully the tension was broken when he hissed at a sharp pain in his leg , and looked down to see her cat was fully stretched out in the large gap between them, back toes on her and front paws  _kneading_  his leg.

He began to glare at the cat, but was shocked entirely after a extended stretch , the thing placed itself on his lap and paws upon his chest, began to gaze into his face, tail twitching.

Nervous now , afraid that he was about to have his face mawled by the notorious feline he put his cup down as he spoke to the girl.

"Granger...please remove your beast before it attacks me"

She chuckled and also placed her cup down as he jumped a mile when the thing...  _growled_  and  _headbutted_  him ? no doubt an attempt to bite his face , hindered by the things flat features.

"Granger...!"

His hands were frozen at his sides, he couldn't hex the girls familiar and he was afraid that any sudden movements would trigger an attack.

"Please remove your beast , it's growling at me"

There was another soft chuckle from his side and the girl finally bridged the gap between them , sitting close by his side, her warmth radiating into him as the cat was now stood on his lap with its front paws on his chest

She shook her head and spoke softly. "No...purring"

He froze in shock , turned to face her , and then returned his gaze to the feline whose yellow eyes were inches from his face, regarding him curiously, he still did not move.

"You never had a cat ?"

So thrown was he by her softly spoken words, and the piercing yellow gaze of her familiar , he couldn't help but reply honestly.

"No...I never had any pets growing up, my parents couldn't afford to feed me, let alone an animal...the same reason I didn't buy a familiar for hogwarts...plus animals do not like me"

It was true , he'd never owned an animal and aside from sending letters with the school owls , he had no reason to interact with them, both Lucius & Lily's owls had hated him , and no one else would let the odious snape near their familiars, he might chop them up for ingredients after all.

"He likes you...you're honoured"

It seemed that he was, he'd heard tales of her notorious familiar, Shelter staff aside, the beast had a reputation for tearing apart gryffindor tower and swiping at anyone who came too close...however he couldn't help but like the thing a bit when he found out it had tried to eat pettigrew.

He was also glad she was speaking, even if her sentences were softly spoken and straight to the point , and decided he would do his best to keep her speaking, even though her smoky voice sent a very inappropriate shiver through him.

"What does it want"

The thing was still staring at him , seemingly waiting for him to do something.

" _He_  wants you to pet him"

Placing emphasis on the word he, it seemed she was getting tired of him referring to her familiar as an it, he looked at the half kneazle and tentatively raised his hand slightly, before looking to her for reassurance, when she nodded he reached his hand up towards the cats head.

He froze when the cat sniffed his hand, but then to his utter surprise it pushed its head into the palm of his hand purring softly.

Turning to her for confirmation she nodded with a soft smile, then gently rested her head on his shoulder. Feeling bolstered by her approval , and her closeness, yet still afraid he was about to be mauled, he gently rubbed the cats head and was utterly shocked when the purring seemed to intensify tenfold , and it began treading and kneading it's paws on his chest.

He couldn't help but smile softly as he turned to her, and she gave a wide smile at the childish look of happiness on his face , with his teeth fixed his smile really lit up his face, and the look of boyish happiness at the acceptance from her familiar made her heart clench , it was the look of a lonely child that had made a friend at last and it hurt and made her happy at the same time , as she saw him for what he really was , a neglected and lonely boy desperate for affection.

Still tucked into his side, with her head resting on his shoulder, she looped her arms around his and held onto his arm as she tucked her legs beneath her on the sofa, pulling the blanket off the back to cover her.

After a few moments of petting, he gently put his hand down and was shocked when the cat leaned forward to sniff his face nose to nose , then much to his surprise headbutted him again with a large purr and collapsed sideways on his chest, the beast collapsed in that typical feline way... he looked like a puppet that had it's strings cut as it simply flopped on him where it was , and laid on his chest purring deeply with it's head tucked under his chin and kneading his chest happily.

Turning to speak to the girl , he found she was asleep tucked into his side with the blanket across her legs, holding snugly onto his arm.

He raised his free hand and gently tucked a fallen curl behind her ear, it had taken Minerva hours to get through her matted hair and in the end they'd had to cut it down to just below her shoulders, whereas before it had been nearly to her waist. It now fell in soft honey coloured waves , and she always seemed to smell faintly of vanilla.

As he pulled his hand back he was surprised when the cat gently padded it with his paws, the claws flexed but did not scratch him as it pulled his hand towards it's face and proceeded to lick him a few times with a sandpapery tongue before releasing him and resting its head once more on his chest and kneading away happily.

He knew logically that they needed to speak of what happened, what  _was_  happening between them , but sat on the sofa in his quarters with the witch tucked into his side and the purring familiar upon his chest , he couldn't fight the happiness blooming in his chest at the acceptance he felt from them.  
All he'd wanted in his miserable life was the one thing he'd never had, to belong...to be wanted... to be chosen and not simply because he was the only one left, the last biscuit in the tin as it were.

But here she was, his little one, she could have had any member of staff, any order member..they all would have glady cared for her and given her anything, but she'd chose  _him_. She'd  _wanted_  him and  _defended_  him when she thought he was in danger.

Who knew it would be a little lioness and a half kneazle that would make him feel like for the first time in his life he had everything he ever wanted right here in his arms.

And as he allowed the embrace of sleep to wash over him , lulled to it by the girl's heartbeat and rythmic breathing and the kneazles soft purrs and happy kneading, he vowed to himself that he would do anything , give anything to keep them safe.

* * *

**AN: Please review x**


	28. Chapter 28

_But here she was, his little one, she could have had any member of staff, any order member..they all would have glady cared for her and given her anything, but she'd chose him. She'd wanted him and defended him when she thought he was in danger._

_Who knew it would be a little lioness and a half kneazle that would make him feel like for the first time in his life he had everything he ever wanted right here in his arms._

_And as he allowed the embrace of sleep to wash over him , lulled to it by the girl's heartbeat and rythmic breathing and the kneazles soft purrs and happy kneading, he vowed to himself that he would do anything , give anything to keep them safe._

* * *

It was Friday morning, and on Sunday the children would be arriving ready to start the new term on Monday.

They were sat in his quarters , still in their sleep attire , him drinking coffee and she weak tea. Though she was now only on the nutrient potions once a day, and was able to eat and drink , she was avoiding anything too strong, lest it upset her already sensitive stomach, and had a simple slice of plain toast for breakfast, abstaining from the jam he had had on his.

The cat was once more stretched in the middle of them, back feet on her and front feet kneading on him. She was reading one of his 1st edition french potions textbooks, on medicinal potioneering, as he read the paper the morning owl had just brought , and if he occasionally brushed his hand across the purring cat, it was entirely accidental.

He'd been so pleased when she'd finally taken up his offer of access to his library, and quite surprised when she picked up a book in another language as her first choice, the french textbook was in her hands and she had a German text beside her on the sofa for when she'd finished. Absently he wondered just how many languages she was fluent in.

As they sat there side by side in their night attire, drinking and reading with the cat stretched between them...his heart clenched at the domesticity of it , something he never thought he'd have, and didn't realise he'd wanted... and suddenly realised he would miss when it was gone.

* * *

Somehow when she had gotten up to re shelve the text she'd been reading a few hours later , the cat had moved to take her seat, meaning when she returned rather than move the cat (which he had discovered, after a frosty look from both cat and woman, was a horrendous faux pas) she ended up sat pressed into his side.  
She didn't seem to mind the relocation, and he was not using that arm anyway, as his book was in the other hand, so it was of no concern if she was to lean on it.

Apparently her part of the sofa was not as comfortable as it seemed , as not much later the cat stood with a stretch and decided that it would position itself across both their laps. His hand was in the way it seemed, judging by the way the feline pawed at him to move it, so he stretched his arm along the back of the sofa to give the cat more room , and if it meant the girl at his side snuggled closer to him, well...that was just incidental, and it would be rude of him to move her while she was so engrossed in her book.

The girl gave a small shiver and wandlessly summoned the blanket to cover her legs, her loss of weight and poor health meant she was at times struggling to stay warm , so he was keeping a thick blanket within reach for her most of the time, at her actions he wandlessly lit the fire in the grate beside them and she smiled in gratitude and leaned into him.

At one point the stretching cat batted his hand with his mug and he spilt some hot tea on his hand with a hiss, the cat was unapologetic but she quickly covered his hand with hers and he felt her magic caress his skin in soft waves, quickly healing the burnt skin. She was a natural healer and her magic was instinctual, effortless and very effective. He'd fought a gasp but she couldn't stifle hers, as once more he got the pleasant sensation of her magic meeting his , it seemed as though his magic had rushed to the surface of his skin to make contact with hers.

Her eyes snapped to his, but he didn't, couldn't, say anything about it, so he just cleared his throat, thanked her and went back to his book.

* * *

They'd spent all day just sat together reading, and it shocked him to realise it was probably the best day of his life so far and he'd give anything to keep it this way for the rest of his life.

It was as if they'd been doing it years, they seemed so in sync with another and their needs.  
She'd occasionally get up to go to the bathroom , change her book or make a fresh cup of tea for them , as he didn't drink coffee other than at breakfast.  
She seemed to know when he needed a drink and would get up and bring him a fresh cup without him ever needing to ask , always prepared just the way he liked it. Likewise, he could tell when she was starting to get cold and would increase the heat from the fire. When he was hungry she'd gotten up and made them both a few sandwiches in his small kitchenette.  
When the dark thoughts and memories creeped in, and she lost focus on the pages in front of her, he'd gently tuck a curl behind her ear, or brush her cheek with his hand, She'd smile at him softly and return to her reading.

Somehow they'd ended up with him sat at one side of the sofa with the girl tucked into his side, She had her back to him as she stretched her covered legs out over the other 2/3rds of the sofa, and his arm was almost but not quite wrapped around her in it's place on the back of the sofa.

She never spoke , but he could tell this was a big improvement , it wasn't an uncomfortable silence and she wasn't avoiding him, she had spent the day reading which meant she was not withdrawing or occluding heavily, but was actively in the here and now and he was very happy at that progress.

The girl was breathing softly in his arms, and the scent of vanilla and parchment filled his senses, the fire crackled and amber lights and shadows danced on the walls , and soft vibrations came from the purring cat laid across both of their laps.

He never meant to fall asleep.

* * *

He awoke to the blanket being raised over him , his initial instinct was to grab his wand, but a hand on his shoulder and the soft voice of Minerva made him relax before he hexed her.

"Sshh she's still asleep"

It was then he realised that he had ended up half laid on the sofa, Hermione was half in his lap , sound asleep with her head pillowed on his ribs/chest and one of her arms wrapped around him, the other holding the cat that was asleep on  _her_  ribs.

He breathed out a sigh of relief seeing the girl sleeping soundly by his side, as her night terrors were something terrible to behold.

Suddenly he realised how this could look and he snapped his eyes to Minerva, mouth working up and down a few times as he tried to think of something to explain their closeness.

"There's no need my boy... I know"

His mouth snapped shut at that and he didn't know what to say,  _how could she know when he didn't know himself ?_

"This'll be hard for you , you know that laddie ?"

Jaw clenched, he nodded sharply, and his arm tightened around the girl slightly , who simply sighed and nuzzled closer into him.

"She seems better than she's been" the witch whispered as she picked up the book that had dropped to the floor and regarded it

"Was she reading this ?" she questioned him

"Among others , in various languages" He kept his voice soft and low, but he needn't have worried as when he spoke the girl sighed once more and simply held him tighter.

"That's good... you're doing well with her my boy"

He nodded simply, not up to much more conversation. Once his initial reaction had died down, when he realised he was not about to be hexed in his sleep , the lethargy had returned from his comfortable position and he found himself in the unique position of being unable to keep his eyes open... for a man who suffered from chronic insomnia it was almost novel.

Minerva raised the blankets over him and as the girl snuggled closer and he leant back , he realised she'd also extended the pull out sofa into its bed shape and he was now reclined fully.

She leant down and placed a kiss on the girl's forehead, and was shocked when he felt a soft kiss being pressed into his forehead as she made sure the blanket covered them both.

"Sleep well bairns"

It was only after she'd left that he realised that was the first time a mother had ever tucked him in.

* * *

**AN / Please Review.**

**Thank You to all my reviewers, you are the fuel that's writing this story**

**love to you all**


	29. Chapter 29

_Minerva raised the blankets over him and as the girl snuggled closer and he leant back , he realised she'd also extended the pull out sofa into its bed shape and he was now reclined fully._

_She leant down and placed a kiss on the girl's forehead, and was shocked when he felt a soft kiss being pressed into his forehead as she made sure the blanket covered them both._

_"Sleep well bairns"_

_It was only after she'd left that he realised that was the first time a mother had ever tucked him in._

* * *

It was Saturday , and after waking up more rested than he'd ever remembered feeling, and sharing a shy smile with the girl they were once again enjoying a quiet cup of tea in his chambers.

After breakfast they spent the morning brewing in his lab , she had once more followed him and he'd set up a cauldron for her and gave her a set of instructions, ensuring that nothing in the complicated, yet obscure salve was something that might tempt the girl who was technically a recovering addict.

It was not a commonly called for salve that he had her making, it was a topical antihistamine for students that had suffered allergic reactions after coming into contact with potions ingredients, magical beasts or plants that they hadn't known they had an allergy to , it was useful enough to not be a waste of ingredients, yet complicated enough to keep her engaged, and rarely needed so unlikely something she had ever done before.

He was very surprised when the salve came out slightly better than his own last batch had... the girl truly had a natural healers ability , a very rare gift that he had wondered if she possessed before now... as though her potions in class always came out well , from shrinking solution to polyjuice, anything slightly medicinal like pepper-up , pain potions and bruise salves were always flawless and way above par.

He had looked into her cauldron at her finished brew, and she had bitten her lip while meeting his gaze. When he told her the decant the salve into containers and label them for the hospital wing , the smile he got in return lit up her face so much he couldn't help but smile back.

The look of pride she wore all morning made his heart warm inside. He was out of the premade labels so told her she would have to hand write the labels for her salve and his brews which she had quickly attended to, while he went and cleaned his work surfaces, it took her longer than he expected but he wasn't concerned.

Later as he packed the jars of salve along with the other items for Poppy he paused to regard the labels which she had placed on the jars.  
Her handwriting was cursive, neat and feminine... a huge step up from his often unreadable scrawl which he often was berated by Poppy for , the labels she had done were frankly...beautiful and extremely professional looking , better than any he'd seen in top apothecaries.

Wizards and witches as whole had very little to no artistic skill , after all who went to all the effort of drawing or painting by hand when it could all be done so much quicker with magic ?

Turning one around he couldn't hold back a gasp at the back of the bottle...Her salve had her signature at the bottom , as was custom with potions, a "Brewed by Hermione Granger" once more in that beautiful cursive , but two things that shocked him were the back of his bottles " Brewed By Potions Master Severus Snape" , in an extremely decorative script , The large S of  **S** everus and  **S** nape were ornate snakes , that had been charmed to move around each other when the bottle was held , and secondly all the bottles had simple yet beautiful sketches that depicted their purpose, many charmed to move, even the allergy salve he'd had her brew had an anatomical illustration of a hand with a rash, that was so simple yet well done it reminded him of da vinci's sketches on anatomy.

Taking one of the bottles with him into the sitting room he placed it on the table in front of her , turning it so the illustrations were facing her.

"Did you do this ?"

She bit her lip and looked away nodding.

Realising she misunderstood him , he sat down and placed his hand under her chin to bring her gaze back.

"You misunderstand, I apologise, I am not angry... these are very good...did you do these by hand ?"

She seemed to slump in relief and nodded with a small embarrassed smile.

"I have never seen charms like these , that make the images...illustrations move... magic portraits, and moving photographs yes, but never images...have you done it before ?"

She stood and brought one of her textbooks from her school things he'd retrieved from her parents and slowly stood in front of him, she held it to her chest for a moment and seemed to consider her actions before handing it to him.

It was most potente potions, and as he flicked from page to page he noticed the many pieces of parchment that were slipped into the pages of the book.

Each page had a piece of parchment written on it with  _his_  way of brewing the potion , though MPP was on the required books list for students, when he taught he always put the instructions on the board with his own improvements for the students to follow in class...she had noticed the differences and wrote down all the improvements in the book, and not only that, there were pages of illustrations of ingredients much more detailed and accurate than the few terrible scribbles in mpp , and remarkably more of the moving images she'd placed on the bottles.

There were many moving diagrams that showed the correct way to do many things from holding tools , correct stirring procedure, safety , cleaning... and he noticed with shock the incredibly detailed hands completing all the actions in the images were his own.

"This is...remarkable, you truly have a gift...where did you get the inspiration for the moving images ?"

"Computers...are you?..." She said softly

"I'm aware of what they are , but have no experience with them"

She nodded before replying "They have... layered images.. called gifs... that move"

He nodded his comprehension

"And you used this method , of layering the images, then created a charm that would cycle through them to create the motion... a sort of charmed flipbook ?"

She nodded once more.

"Extroadinary"

She blushed and smiled.

"With your permission Hermione, I would like to apply for a Patent for you"

She was really blushing now and looked away shyly.

"No...this is revolutionary work and you should safeguard it, especially as it will soon become public knowledge on the potions bottles"

She smiled again and nodded her acceptance , still blushing at his praise and he took a moment before considering his next words.

"Your work is very useful, and your illustrations are beautiful... For a number of years I have been compiling my work to produce a newer potions textbook for students , that is more accurate and up to date than most potent potions... " She was hanging on his every word as he spoke

"It occurs to me that having such detailed images of ingredients would be hugely helpful, and the moving images that could show methods would be priceless in assisting students to learn , would you consider a joint effort with me to produce a new reference book for students ?"

Her eyes were wide as saucers as she nodded softly to him , seemingly in shock at his request.

He found himself offering her a genuine smile which she gladly returned.

* * *

Poppy had turned up later in the afternoon , after sending a patronus ahead to ensure they were amiable to the company.

They were sat in once more pleasant silence , Out of curiosity he had asked hermione how many languages she understood , after her forays into his library the day before and was shocked at the number... fluent in 5 and passable in a number of others.

Poppy, upon discovering that Hermione could both speak and read Russian, a language of which he was not familiar with himself, had invited herself for tea and brought an obscure mediwizardry tome which she had acquired, but had been unable to make heads or tails of.

"It's an extremely rare book , the wizard that wrote it was frowned upon for experimenting on muggle children and most of his works were destroyed, despite him being very successful, there are supposed to be very good spells to help cure genetic diseases like spina bifida , and manage bone conditions like osteoperosis and arthritis"

The girl seemed quite happy to help , and after gently removing the book from poppys hands and gingerly turning it around , as the mediwitch had been showing it to her both upside down and backwards, he'd snorted a laugh as poppy flushed in embarrassment and the girl was currently scribbling away on a parchment as she translated the handwritten pages.

He'd retired to his armchair with a book and the cat upon his knee , He and the kneazle had both taken one look at the russian cursive, regarded each other and decided they were better elsewhere. _Honestly , I thought **my**  handwriting was drunken spider scrawl_

The ineligible scribbles seemed to have no affect on Hermione though , as her parchment was quickly filling with translations as she worked her way through the book , and Poppy sat practically salivating at the information that was being revealed.

Everything seemed to be going quite well , then it went to shit.

* * *

The floo suddenly flared green as the connection was opened in preparation for someone to step through.

Hermione jumped from the sofa and flew toward him as he stood , throwing herself behind his tall figure , hands grasping at his coat.

He had his arm around her holding her behind him, remiss of his actions in her 3rd year when he bodily shielded her from the werewolf lupin , he had his wand in his hand and had thrown up a shield in an instant.

The Kneazle that had been launched from his knee upon his abrupt rising , was stood with hackles up hissing at the fireplace.

The only people that had leave to enter his quarters was Minerva and Poppy , Poppy was already there and Minerva never flooed in unannounced , knowing the girl was prone to fits of spontaneous magic when startled.

He let out a hissed breath of annoyance through his teeth when none other than Albus Dumbledore sauntered through the floo without a care in the world.

Poppy also heaved an aggrevated breath and put away her own drawn wand , but he noticed with interest the cat refused to be moved and continued to growl at the wizard.

Hermione was trying to control herself but he could feel how frightened and upset she was by his sudden unannounced arrival.

"Ah, Poppy I didn't expect to see you here but no matter, Severus I trust you and Miss Granger are well ?"

"As well as can be expected Headmaster...considering everything, plus the fact you nearly gave the girl a heart attack by your abrupt appearance"

She'd moved from behind him but was still pressed to his side and holding onto him for dear life.

"Very good, very good"

He stepped into the room and took a seat on one of the spare chairs , and Severus noted with a look to Poppy and a raised eyebrow which was returned by the mediwitch , they all calmly took a seat , Hermione opting to sit on the arm of the chair he was in and Albus dumbledore crossed his legs...wearing no shoes and odd socks.

* * *

They were silent for a moment as the headmaster sat twinkling at nothing in particular and giving an amused glance to the kneazle who still had his hackles up hissing at the man.  
"Delightful" The old wizard chuckled, and Hermione seemed to snap out of her trance and grabbed the kneazle to her chest before returning to her seat on his chair's arm.  
The kneazle allowed himself to be held by her, but the rumbling growl did not cease.

The man was seemingly content to appraise his surroundings from his seat , and once more he shared a look with Poppy, as the girl at his side tried to fight the trembling in her small frame.

"Forgive me Headmaster, but is there a purpose to your visit ? we were not expecting you "

"Yes Severus you're quite right of course, I came to see if Miss Granger was all prepared"

Both witches gave him a confused look at that , as his eyebrow raised as he regarded the headmaster.

"Headmaster, once again I beg your forgiveness but... what exactly are you wanting to know if Miss Granger is prepared for ?"

The twinkling gaze of the headmaster alighted on him once more.

"Why my dear boy, to return to Gryffindor tower tomorrow of course, ready for the new school term"

* * *

 

**AN / What do you think? What will our Sev and Hermione do now ?**   
**Please review**


	30. Chapter 30

**_AN: - Ok , I wanted to note that this story is obviously not going to follow the storyline of the books , it's going off canon from the start._ **

**_A number of you have been commenting about timelines and how Severus will take his vow, and how dumbledore's hand will come into play etc._ **

**_So let me clear things up a bit , there will be Horcruxes in the story, but not necessarily the same as in the book._ **

**_Some things such as Narcissa's vow , and Dumbledore's cursed may not be included, and other events will play out differently also._ **

**_There will be some character deaths, but again not necessarily the same as in the book._ **

* * *

_"Headmaster, once again I beg your forgiveness but... what exactly are you wanting to know if Miss Granger is prepared for ?"_

_The twinkling gaze of the headmaster alighted on him once more._

_"Why my dear boy, to return to Gryffindor tower tomorrow of course, ready for the new school term"_

* * *

He was aware of a shuddering sensation , a vibration deep in his torso, interrupting his heartbeat and trembling under his feet, the tea cups on their saucers were shaking so much they fell from the table.  
Absently it reminded him of a rock concert he'd been to in his teenage years , when the bass was so loud you could feel it in your chest.

"Now now, we'll have none of that"

Albus waved a hand almost dismissively and the thrumming disappeared , only it apparently was only rerouted as the girl at the side of his was trembling so hard her teeth were chattering.

Whipping his gaze from the girl to Albus , he practically growled at the man.

"What did you do to her ?!"

"I contained her magic of course"

His jaw dropped and his chest clenched in dread , and he heard Poppy gasp beside him

"Headmaster have you completely lost your mind ? You can't contain her magic when she's have an episode of wild magic of that magnitude , the power surge could stop her heart!"

The girls eyes had rolled into the back of her head and she had almost fallen to the floor, if he hadn't have caught her.

"Headmaster you must remove the containment , put a shield around her instead!" That was Poppy and she was throwing herself on the floor and holding onto Hermione with him

"FUCK! Albus she's seizing , release the containment now you old fool!"

The girl was jerking wildly in his arms, her skin burning hot to the touch as he and poppy both fought to keep her from smashing her head into the ground.

"Whoops, silly me "

With another gesture the headmaster had removed the containment spell , and placed a shield around the three of them, for a moment his heart leapt to his throat as the magic broke free from the girl in a fierce wave of surged power , making the air electrified around them and his hair stand on end.  
He looked quickly to Poppy afraid she would be hurt by the power surge, the damned fool had totally contained all 3 of them inside the blast instead of just the girl. Thankfully it seemed that Hermione had begun to trust the mediwitch again on some subconscious level , as the magic avoided her as it had always done with him , instead everything inside the shield was destroyed , the chair , the cups and a large chunk of his rug.

Slowly the seizure stopped and she came back to herself, her breathing heavy as her eyes tried to focus on them. Poppy was quickly and discreetly casting charms for her comfort , cleansing charms as the girl had voided her bowels and bladder mid seizure, cooling charms to drop the fevered temperature of her skin , and mild charms to reduce the aches in her muscles from the convulsions.

"Severus , help me sit her up , rest her back on the chair"

He was rubbing her back and speaking softly to her as he conjured her some water to drink , Poppy was rubbing her arm as she ran diagnostics and kept up with the cooling charm.

"Small sips , there's a good girl"

Her eyes were dilated and her responses were sluggish but she did as Poppy asked her and drank the water he'd conjured slowly.

When the girl had finished her water and handed it back to him , he looked into her eyes as he spoke to her

"Are you all right little one? Still with me ?" She met his eyes slowly, her's still dilated and she eventually nodded.

He breathed a sigh out before turning a furious gaze on the headmaster.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing , you could've killed her, could've killed all of us, you almost did !"

"Come Severus that's enough, there's no need to overreact it was a simple misunderstanding"

"Overreact !? The girl's wild magic could have stopped her heart when you contained it , and it could have obliterated me and poppy when you sealed us inside a shield with her!"

"I knew Miss Granger would never harm you or Poppy, you were never in any real danger"

"Real danger !?.."

"Severus I said enough" The twinkle was gone from the mans eyes as he stared him down , he didn't want to stop but the burning sensation of his oath crawled along his skin and he had no choice but to yield .

"Of course...headmaster"

Poppy from her position on the floor, looked from Severus's clenched fists and and hateful gaze, to the now once again twinkling headmaster and narrowed her gaze as she realised what he had done , as she began to help the girl to a standing position.

" Now that unpleasantness is behind us, we can carry on with Miss Granger... in fact I think it best if we move her up to Gryffindor tower tonight, to allow her time to get her bearings, and give Severus some much needed space"

The girl was looking at him questioningly, still slightly dazed , but he could not say anything to the headmaster as much as he wanted to , his fists were clenched so hard that blood was dripping from his palm where his nails were dug in.

"Headmaster... you cannot be serious..." Poppy was still holding the girl to her side, with an arm around her waist. In her half dazed state, the girl was staring at him in a rather serene way that reminded him of Luna Lovegood.

"Of course I'm serious, Miss Granger you're ready to go aren't you?" The girl turned slightly to the headmaster.

"Hermione ? You're ready yes ?" She was still struggling to focus and simply nodded to the headmaster, who smiled widely at her responce.

"There ! See ? Splendid"

He raised himself from his seat but Poppy spluttered in rage

" Absolutely  _not_  , headmaster !"

"Miss Granger has confirmed herself that she's ready , now let us be off"

He took a step towards the two women , but Poppy took a step back taking Hermione with her.

"Albus, the girl just had a Grand Mal seizure ! She's postictal , she doesn't know what she's agreeing to, you cannot take her acquiescence for true consent in this state!"

"Please Poppy, stop being so dramatic , Miss Granger simply had a funny turn and the best thing for her would be to return to her living quarters in Gryffindor tower and rest, in preparation for Harry's return tomorrow"

The man said this in such an even tone , that it made Severus's blood boil as he seethed at the man, oath be damned.

"Potter... so that's what this is ? You want her all nice and tucked back into place so that she can be there to make Potter's life easier, because Merlin forbid the boy should have to do his own work for once! It doesn't matter that the girl's been through Hell , and is significantly traumatised, as long as she's by Potters side to make him happy!"

The mediwtich was fuming as she also spat at the headmaster, and the girl in her arms seemed to be gaining her bearings as she took in her surroundings.

"Albus, as her mediwitch I forbid it ! Despite the fact that Severus told you , and I agreed that she would need  _at least_  another week after term starts, before we could even  _consider_  letting her attend classes , the girl is traumatised and totally nonverbal , how do you expect her to cope , when the slightest fright can make her have episodes of wild magic? "

The man seemed to narrow his eyes and gave a cold look to Poppy , that made them both decidedly concerned, when he decided to try another tactic.

"Albus, what if she hurts Potter...he's not known for his ability to connect his brain to his mouth before speaking, and is prone to rash actions , what if he upsets the girl or frightens her, and she lashed out with wild magic ?"

This seemed to give the headmaster pause for a moment , while he considered Severus's statement.

"Bahh... there's nothing to worry about , our Hermione would never hurt Harry Potter."

"Indeed...but I would've said the same for her head of house , and she threw her into a wall"

The mans eyes narrowed at that, and Poppy interjected.

"It's true Albus, I was there , she was regretful about it afterwards but in the moment she lost control, it was fortunate it was not worse"

The man ran his hand through his beard , as he considered the girl. 

Now that she was more alert , she had moved her way closer to severus and was currently in her customary spot , slightly behind him with a hand holding his clothes.

"You're of course right , we cannot have Miss Granger endangering Harry in classes, and we must come up with a safer solution for everyone involved"

Severus and the two witches seemed to heave out a collective breath of relief that the headmaster was finally being persuaded off this course.

"I think I have the perfect solution" The man twinkled and then with a snap of his fingers two objects appeared in his hands that made Severus's and Poppy's blood run cold.

Azkaban Issued Magic Suppression Cuffs.

* * *

 

**AN / Please review guys , I read every single one and greatly appreciate them all**


	31. Chapter 31

_"You're of course right , we cannot have Miss Granger endangering Harry in classes, and we must come up with a safer solution for everyone involved"_

_Severus and the two witches seemed to heave out a collective breath of relief that the headmaster was finally being persuaded off this course._

_"I think I have the perfect solution" The man twinkled and then with a snap of his fingers two objects appeared in his hands that made Severus's and Poppy's blood run cold._

_Azkaban Issued Magic Suppression Cuffs._

* * *

"You're mad... you're completely off your rocker old man" His skin was burning as he fought against the oath that bid him to obey.

"No Headmaster , I forbid it , those cuffs should never have been on her in the first place , they're meant for prisoners that are never going to be released as they reek havoc on your magic , it's not meant to be contained like that , look at the consequences she's already facing!"

Poppy had moved herself to Severus's side , they were bodily shielding the girl who was behind them both.

"Miss Granger is a student , and a student cannot reside with a member of staff , her place is in Gryffindor tower with her friends and I will hear no more of it"

"I will not allow you to..." Severus's words, along with his air were cut off by Albus's harshly spoken command. "Severus I command you to stop this immediately"

The more he fought the vow the more his air was cut off until he had no choice but to take a step back and fall to his knees as he gasped in much needed air , Hermione instantly fell to her knees beside him and held on to him in concern.

"Albus , this is insane , as her mediwitch it is in my power to overrule you , you cannot..."

"You can only overrule a decision on a student while you are  _employed_  as a school mediwitch, An  _unemployed_  mediwtich has no such power"

The three of them froze in shock at that.

"Albus... are you threatening to fire Poppy because she's overruling you ?"

"I don't recall saying those words Severus, simply stating a few truths"

The girl was shaking at his side, Poppy was gasping and he was trembling in anger.

"Albus...I've not left Hogwarts since I was 11 years old, I trained here when I finished my NEWTS, I've been working in the hospital wing for for 35 years , you'd fire me over a disagreement ?"

"No one said anything about firing, but you raise a good point Poppy, Hypothetically speaking it would be very difficult to find new employment if you were let go from your current position for some reason , after all , there's not much call for school mediwitches is there?"

Poppy was on the verge of crying, Severus was seething, the anger he felt was unfathomable , he saw spots dancing in front of his eyes as the oath once more cut off his air as he fought to confront the headmaster.

Suddenly he felt the warmth of the girl at his side disappear , as he turned to her he was shocked at what he saw in her mind as his eyes met hers.

_This is all my fault , the people I care about are hurting because of me, **he's**  hurting them because of me._

"Hermione , don't !" He wanted to reach for her , but he couldn't , the oath wouldn't allow him.

She simply shook her head , tears in her eyes and made her way out from behind him.

"Hermione..." Poppy was looking on in dismay.

The girl walked towards Dumbledore slowly , who was once again twinkling.

"Aah Miss Granger, so glad to see you come to your senses , you're ready to go to the tower?"

There were tears running down the girls face as she nodded, and she approached him like one would approach a beast that might bite.

_She was trembling , she's so scared , Albus you've done some mad things in your time but this is the worse , can't you see how afraid she is ? She should be here with me , I need to keep her safe._

"Just one more thing my dear" He held out the cuffs

Severus could feel her fear , her nausea , she was on the verge of passing out , vomiting or both.

The girl shook her head no desperately at the cuffs.

"We wouldn't want you to accidentally hurt anyone now would we Miss Granger ?  _You_  wouldn't want that would you?"

The girl was still shaking her head no, but Albus seemed to lose his patience and with a snap of his fingers the cuffs were on her once more.

The look she gave the headmaster tore him apart inside , and when she gasped and her knees gave out under her , he cursed the headmaster once more as everything in him roared to go to her, to protect her.

"I can see you're tired Miss Granger , I think it's time that we were off"

He couldn't leave it at that , couldn't let her go without doing  _something_...

"Miss Granger!" Her eyes shot to him , and he pushed his thoughts at her and begged her to understand

"I will still see you in the evenings with your potions , and again in the mornings, do not think this an excuse to get out of it.. I will also need to be running the daily diagnostics on you , to ensure you have not given into the temptation of recreational potions once more... there is no avoiding this Miss Granger, it is for your own safety and that of those around you"

 _It was a lie , he knew it, Poppy knew it and she knew it_. There was no potions she required other than a nutrition one for her weight , and he could have easily given her a months supply of that.

Her eyes went slightly wide and her trembling increased but she nodded to him .

"Of course, of course we should not allow a change in housing to affect Miss Granger's health needs"

Albus's mood had shifted dramatically now that he was getting his own way , and thankfully he didn't even question it.

"Headmaster , given the circumstances perhaps it is best that Miss Granger is to be seen , as far as the student body is concerned , studying medicinal potions under Poppy and myself ? With no wand and her magic suppressed, she will be unable to do much practical work in classes, but she could easily sit her NEWTS in most subjects now and pass with flying colours...If she were to simply continue studying potions and Herbology, and attend the hospital wing twice daily so that I may attend to her needs, we could do so without raising any suspicions regarding my involvement... in fact we could have rumours get back to the dark lord that she was advanced because she's the smartest witch of her age, and miles ahead of her peers...as the girl is showing a natural talent in healing magics, no doubt training would also be of benefit to Potter in the coming days , if his friend had training from a mediwitch and in medicinal potions."

It was everything he could do , try to limit her time in classes with the other students , try to get more time safe with him and Poppy , Plus a good Slytherin knows that there's always an ounce of truth to the best of lies, and what he said  _was_  true , she  _could_  truly sit her NEWTS and pass them all, she  _was_  a natural healer and it  _would_  be of benefit to potter.

He was holding his breath and not because of the spell , was it too far ? Had he asked too much ? Poppy and Hermione were both waiting with baited breath also.

"An excellent idea Severus, a lighter workload will give Hermione more time to spend with Harry , and both mediwitch training and medicinal potions would be of a great help to Harry in the coming days"

He breathed a sigh out , even if he was still angered by the headmaster's words

_Potter, always Potter._

" Now as far as Miss Granger's lack of a voice is concerned, we're going to let the staff know that what we will be telling the students is Miss Granger got a bit of a nasty curse while reading an old tome , and spent a short time in St. Mungos who as of yet have been unable to reverse it , we can also say this is partly what inspired her to foray into healing... Messers Potter and Weasly will of course be told the whole story"

Hermione's shocked gaze fell upon Albus as she gasped in a breath of Dismay.

It was Poppy who spoke first.

"Headmaster, what Hermione went through in Azkaban is a private matter and she's of age, it should be her decision what she tells her friends of her imprisonment"

Sensing that the mans mood was about to change quickly, Severus quickly knew what to say.

_Haven't you realised by now Poppy ? The man does not care a rat's arse what happens to Hermione, it's all about Potter._

"Tell the boys that she was imprisoned if you must headmaster, but Harry is loyal and cares deeply for his friend and I am sure it would be of great  _upset_  to him to discover what she had endured during her time in Azkaban , It would be a _distraction_  for him and could cause him to become  _reckless_  and intent on revenge , it would not be the first time he acted rashly and put himself in the line of fire in defence of a friend, we would not want him to endanger himself"

The man was stroking on his beard seemingly in deep thought, before he nodded.

_Got you, you bastard._

"Again you raise a good point Severus, Harry is indeed a brave and loyal friend, and would no doubt want revenge for Miss Granger's mistreatment. I think we shall inform Messers Potter and Weasley that she was indeed cursed, but we shall tell them it was during a death eater attack and not by a book..."

"Excellent idea Headmaster, Potter and Weasley are more likely to believe the story if they are given a different one from the rest of the school"

The Man smiled and he felt the power of the oath loosening around him.

_You vain fucking piece of shit , I've got your number now , flattery and pandering to Potter._

"Splendid , now that all that is sorted , let us be off Miss Granger"

She shot him a wide eyed look with tears in her face, even as she rose to take the headmasters outstretched hand.

He stood quickly and grabbed her hand, subtley dissilussioning the cravat tied around her wrist, so that none but her could see it, she went wide eyed at that.

"Tonight Miss Granger, You will attend me in the Hospital wing for your potions, do not keep me waiting." His tone was harsh , and cruel.

But in his mind he pushed his thoughts towards her.  _I will always be there for you , be strong little one , I will not stop until I find a way to fix this._

 

Tears spilled down her face, and Poppy was trying to hold back her sobs.

She didn't get a chance to do more than nod to him and squeeze his hand , before the headmaster apparated her away with a crack and he was left holding nothing as he howled in rage.

* * *

 

AN / Please Review , Poor Hermione ...what will she do now the rug has been pulled out from under her , and she's thrown back into the lions den ?


	32. Chapter 32

"Tonight Miss Granger, You will attend me in the Hospital wing for your potions, do not keep me waiting." His tone was harsh , and cruel.

But in his mind he pushed his thoughts towards her.  _I will always be there for you , be strong little one , I will not stop until I find a way to fix this._

Tears spilled down her face, and Poppy was trying to hold back her sobs.

She didn't get a chance to do more than nod to him and squeeze his hand , before the headmaster apparated her away with a crack and he was left holding nothing as he howled in rage.

* * *

The second the headmaster had gone , and his oath finally fully released him,he let loose a roar along with a torrent of wild magic so intense it materialised as fiendfyre, and burnt the rest of his already damaged furniture to a smouldering ash.

Poppy was crying softly into her hands.

"Where the  **FUCK**  is Minerva ?!"

Shaking her head , Poppy continued to sob as he fired off his patronus.

He was so angry that he was about to growl his message to his patronus when his heart stopped.

Firstly it was because the fiendfyre his anger was still fuelling, combined with the forming patronus. Secondly beacse standing and waiting silently in the place of his doe , was a Tall , Dark Timber wolf, hackles raised and teeth bared.

His jaw moved up and down for a while , so totally floored was he.

Before Lily's death , his patronus had been a fox , a ratty and thin thing , like the city foxes you would see scavenging around the bins in estates like the one he grew up in.

But this ? This wolf was battle hardened for sure , one ear ripped , fur ragged... but there was a strength to it , in its stare , it's baring... the way it stood silent and strong , with thick muscles, long legs and bared teeth as it waited for his message, eyes burning with the light of the fiendfyre.

"Oh!... Severus ?"

Poppy's gasp brought him back to himself , and he finally spoke his message.

"Find Minerva, tell her it's imperative she comes back now and speaks to no one before she sees me and Poppy , tell her to come straight to my chambers and avoid the headmaster at all costs"

The Tall wolf bobbed it's head with a angry snap of it's jaws, seemingly furious itself, and quickly loped out of the room.

* * *

"Her eyes Severus"

Turning back to Poppy he met her with a questioning gaze

"What ?"

"Her eyes Severus , when he put those cuffs on her..."

He knew the look , knew what she meant , felt it rend his heart in his chest.

"In all my years, I've only ever seen one other student give that man that look"

Curious as to who that would be he asked her

"Who ?"

"You"

"Me?" He froze as she met his gaze

"That night after the shrieking shack , when he said that you'd be expelled if you reported those boys... Severus that was the same look you gave him , the one she had just now... complete and utter soul deep betrayal"

* * *

He was pacing his room with a growl rumbling in his chest , Poppy had tried to talk to him but he shut her down, he was too angry to speak of it more than once, so he would wait until she got here.

After what felt like hours, but was no more than 10 minutes, Minerva stepped through the floo.

"Severus ! Your patronus burnt a hole in the rug that I had to repair , what in Merlin's name is..."

Her words died in her mouth when she saw the distraught mediwitch, destroyed room and furious potions master.

"What happened?"

Snarling he turned to her

"Where the FUCK were you Minerva!"

"Albus had me do a last minute check that all the new first year muggleborns knew how to get on the platform...What's going on?"

"Did you know ? Did he tell you what he was planning ? "

"Know what.. .what who was planning ? Severus you're not making any sense ?"

Snapping out the words, as though he wanted to bite through them he snarled.

"Albus took her"

"Hermione ? Took her where ? Merlin's beard what happened ?"

"He took her back where she belongs, Gryffindor tower, where she's better suited to help potter" He snarled the boys name out as Minerva gasped in shock and held her hand to her chest.

"Why didn't you stop him?"

Howling in rage he had turned his wand on her quick as a flash but Poppy threw herself between him and Minerva

"STOP THIS! We have a hard enough fight on our hands without hexing each other, Hermione needs us!"

Chastened he put his wand away as Minerva apologised.

Poppy began to explain what happened when he growled out

"We do not have time for this"

Angrily he flicked his wand, as his penseive came hurtling out of his room to stand in front of Minerva.

Snarling he angrily pulled the memory from his head and put it into the penseive, where Minerva quickly put her face in.

* * *

The Scot was white in the face when she emerged.

"I always knew he was eccentric but this in't him , He's truly gone mad...what can we do?"

Severus was still pacing like a caged wolf at the bars of a zoo.

"Sit down boy you're making me dizzy" Minerva said as she rubbed her temples.

Shooting a look at his destroyed furniture, he raised his eyebrow at her and she sheepishly transfigured the remains into a basic sofa for him and Poppy to sit down on , as she was sat on the only intact chair.

"Firstly we need to get Severus's oath broken, but then what ? He's still the headmaster , he's still Albus bloody Dumbledore , the whole world looks up to him , it won't be easy to get him overthrown" Minerva questioned.

Poppy added "The problem is he still can fire any of us if we're not careful.. he finds out what we're doing before we can convince people he's lost his mind, then we're finished "

"Plus he's the only reason that I am not in Azkaban myself , it was his support that got me out of there, I've been spying for him on the dark lord, that means I've been at Revels and in the midst of all kinds of death eater atrocities , all he needs to do is to deny that I'm doing it for him and he can have me back in Azkaban before you can say dementors kiss" Severus sneered angrily.

Wiping her eyes with a green tartan hanky minerva let out a shaky breath

"Oh what a hot mess this is"

"Firstly lets start with the oath, I think I can break it as he's clearly not in his own mind , as a medial professional would you agree Poppy, would you swear it on your magic ?"

There was a curt nod from the mediwitch "I would , but could he feel us breaking the oath ? If he found out..."

Severus interjected , "No , he cannot feel the affects of the oath , only I can , He could probably sense it's presence but he's got so many people beholden to him by multiple oaths , along with all the wards of hogwarts as headmaster , it is unlikely for him to notice the loss of one... No. I think as long as I look like I am still under his control , he would not pry any further , if we can ensure he has no reason to doubt the oath, I think we are in the clear. Also the fact that a 3rd person was able to break the oath would be evidence towards his instability"

Taking a steadying breath Minerva grasped his wand hand and flicked her wand over him

That was the last thing he saw before everything went black.

* * *

AN / Please review guys , love to hear your input 


	33. Chapter 33

Taking a steadying breath Minerva grasped his wand hand and flicked her wand over him

That was the last thing he saw before everything went black.

* * *

_..._

_His head was fuzzy_

...

"R...v...e"

...

_His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton wool_

_..._

"...en...r...t"

...

_There was a ringing in his ears_

...

"Re...r...te"

...

_A voice was trying to get through to him_

...

_Why was he on the floor ?_

...

"Rennervate !"

He shot awake with a gasp and the relieved exclamations of the two witches knelt beside him.

He was laid on the cold stone floor on his living room , but couldn't find the energy to stand up yet , he felt strangely...High and disjointed.

"Oh thank Merlin Severus " Minerva was knelt on the floor , and he realised his head was in her lap and she was soothingly running her hands through his hair , as Poppy ran diagnostics on him.

"We thought for a moment there that you weren't ever going to wake up"

"Can't get rid of me that easily" His tongue was thick and he stumbled over his words

Minerva tutted at him and Poppy chuckled.

"What happened?"

"The oath is broken... it was staggering , the control it had over you, it was suppressing your magic among other things"

Both witches looked grim and he suddenly noticed his face was wet, he chanced a look up and saw tear tracks on Minerva's face.

"Why are you crying?" His voice was so bare , like that of a childs

She simply shook her head and smoothed a hand down his cheek.

He found his eyes drooping and his limbs growing heavy.

"Rest now boy , we've got you"

Closing his eyes and giving into the lethargy , he mumbled a sleepy "Yes mum" before falling asleep.

* * *

_**Dungeons** _

When he woke up again he was in his bed , Poppy was beside him , and someone had stripped him of his outer robes and belt so he was clad in just a shirt and trousers. He was thankful they hadn't gone any further.

"Are you with me this time Severus , you've been in and out ?"

"I think so , I don't suppose you could offer me an explanation , and where is Minerva ?"

Poppy had put her book down and come sit beside him on the bed, flicking diagnostics over him.

"We broke the oath , it was almost dark in nature Severus, it had so much control over you than you originally thought and it was suppressing your magic , when we broke it , it was like this wall was brought down and all the magic it'd been holding back was flooded into your system at once... you threw both of us into a wall and had a seizure , then you were out cold... your body just had to shut down to cope with the huge influx of magic."

What she was saying made sense. He had a bone deep ache, like he'd spent the day running. But at the same time he felt a new strength , and gone were he old fatigues and pains, that made him feel nearer 60 than 40 , he also felt like a huge weight had gone from his shoulders.

"You were out cold for a couple of hours, when we finally got you up with a rennervate you were out of it , then you went to sleep and you've been sleeping it off for the past couple of hours...and Minerva is with Hermione"

The second he heard her name he shot up into a sitting position, then cursed himself for the headrush.

"Hermione...is she ?"

"Settle down boy before you do yourself an injury!" Her hand on his chest pushed him back into the bed.

"Minerva is with her...she's as well as you might expect , here drink this"

He drank the cup she gave him , his mouth still fuzzy. He was angry and upset and just wanted to go to the girl.  _She's yours to protect , she should be with you_  ! His heart screamed at him

" I want... I need..."

"I know lad , I know... but we can't give the game away before it starts , sleep for another hour , get your strength back and then it'll be time to meet her in the hospital wing, where the four of us are going to figure something out , ok ?"

" I should be there for her... she's so broken..." His words trailed off as his eyes grew heavy...she'd slipped him something, goddamnit Poppy.

* * *

_**Gryffindor Tower** _

Minerva was consoling the girl as best she could , especially considering she was on the verge of a breakdown herself as it was.

She'd left Severus only when they had him safely tucked into bed , and then had rushed to the tower to see to Hermione.

The castle seemed to sense her urgency , and every staircase was waiting for her , so it took half the time it usually would.

As she expected the headmaster had just dropped her off alone without so much as a "bye your leave".

When she got to the girls dorms, she found Hermione curled up in a ball in the corner rocking and sobbing.

It was a far cry from the girl who had just that same morning, produced the intricate charm-work and potions labels that Severus had sent an urgent owl to the patents office for.

From extremely talented, innovative witch... to a sobbing wreck of a girl in mere hours , all thanks to Albus sodding Dumbledore

She'd re-arranged the room for her to have the bed in the corner, It meant she was furthest away from the window , nearest to the exit and bathroom and only had another student on one side of her , it was the best she could do as Albus had refused to give her private rooms as she'd originally suggested.

She'd dropped to the floor and pulled the girl up into her arms , sitting back on the bed and holding her in her arms like a small child while she sobbed.

The cuffs made her feel sick as the girl worried at them , she'd already broken the skin and their were streaks of red where her nails had scored the flesh.

After a while the girls sobs quieted, she was holding onto Minerva's robes like a toddler and was sat quietly , making no attempt to communicate.

When she was sure the girl had finished crying , she gently moved her onto the bed beside her , and her heart broke when the girl grabbed her sleeve and looked into her eyes with her own tearful ones.

"I'm not going anywhere yet, I promise"

She'd got on her knees in front of the girl and began cleaning her face, using a combination of spells and her tartan hanky.

"Something is wrong with the headmaster , this isn't him...the way he's acting"

The girl nodded but did nothing else.

"We're going to meet Poppy and Severus in the Hospital in about an hour , and figure out what we're going to do about this"

Another nod and her breath hitched at Severus's name... Minerva didn't miss it.

"Never doubt that he cares for you lass, he swore an oath to the headmaster as a much younger man , that's what stopped him...nearly killed him, earlier"

She'd looked up to meet her eyes now.

"He was so furious when Albus took you away from him, he damn near burnt his quarters down"

She took her hands in hers.

"When he sent me his patronus , it was half merged with fiendfyre and burnt a hole in the rug"

That got her a small laugh , even as tears still ran down her face.

Minerva gave her a considering look.

"There's something more between the two of you isn't there , some sort of connection ?"

Hermione quickly looked at her with nervous eyes and bit her lip , obviously worried.

"I'm not prying, I don't want details...just yes or no ok?"

She inhaled but nodded her ascent.

"I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this one , but it's mutual isn't it, Severus feels it too...as far as you're aware?"

Taking a small breath , she nodded but didn't meet her eyes.

"Do you feel safe with him ?"

Another nod.

"Do you trust him ?"

Nod.

"When you protected him, how you knew he was hurt...that wasn't leftover legillimency was it ?"

A hesitation, then Shake of her head, no.

Minerva nodded to herself, then took a deep breath.

"Has he ever done anything to make you uncomfortable? touched you inappropriately , or made advances before all this ?"

Her shocked gaze met Minervas and she shook her head desperately no.

"It's ok...it's ok... I never thought he had, considering both your positions I just had to be sure before I ask my next question."

The girl nodded her understanding.

"Now, I'm going to ask you something...and I need you to keep an open mind ok ?"

She nodded as Minerva sat beside her on the bed , and took her hand.

"What do you know about Magical Affinities ?"

* * *

**AN: Thank you guys for your support , you are the best.**


	34. Chapter 34

_"Now, I'm going to ask you something...and I need you to keep an open mind ok ?"_

_She nodded as Minerva sat beside her on the bed , and took her hand._

_"What do you know about Magical Affinities ?"_

* * *

A confused look met her eyes , and she vaguely shook her head to convey her lack of knowlege.

"Growing up muggle you may have heard it referred to in another way, a Soul bond or... Soul Mates perhaps ?"

Hermione's eyes suddenly widened in comprehension , and she looked like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights , her breathing became rushed and she grabbed Minerva's hand for reassurance.

She did not look away though.

"There are stories , rumours really as there hasn't been a known affinity in centuries... the rumours are that some people are destined to be together.. their magic draws them to each other because they are two parts of the same whole , neither is truly complete without the other."

Hermione was shaking , but was focused in rapt attention on the witch as she spoke.

"It's said that these mates often have a lot in common , but likewise are very different .One light and one dark. As the muggles have referred to as yin and yang , or opposites attract... together they are whole"

She paused to make sure Hermione was still with her , and after a moment the girl nodded for her to continue.

"Many muggles are descended from magical people , or squibs. Magic still runs in their veins even if it's dormant. The potential was there, it just never took. Which of course explains muggleborns, all have magical ancestors if you look back far enough"

The girl was rapt with attention and had yet to let go of her hand.

"Muggles , not understanding the concept of latent magic, could not understand a magic affinity. When the dormant magic in their blood , calls to that of another, they explained it as something else , the heart or the soul , hence soulmates"

"Magic is a very personal thing , different for every person... it explains why some excel and others do not , some are skilled in charms while others struggle with the most basic. It's also why wands choose the witch or wizard, and no wand would answer to, or work for anyone as well as it's owner, because the magic behind it is different."

Hermione's eyes were wide as she took everything in.

"They say that affinities are often discovered the first time one half casts near or upon the other... I know you have always been respectful of Severus , but never this close...Can you remember the first time you felt this way?"

She was shaking her head in the negative, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment she gasped and covered her mouth , and when tears ran down her face she nodded.

"You remember ? "

A Nod.

"When ?"

She grabbed a piece of parchment and with a shaky hand , wrote one word upon it.

"Oath"

"Oath ? Severus's oath to Dumbledore ?"

She shook her head no.

"Then what oath do you...wait... wait Severus said something about an oath...that first day you returned ?"

She nodded clasping Minerva's hands in hers.

"Yes... I remember, Severus made you an oath that he wouldn't hurt you"

Wiping the tears from her eyes , she nodded once more.

"And...what this the first time he'd ever directly cast magic on you, or likewise you on him"

A desperate nod .

"Merlin's beard...I had my suspicions but... this changes everything, if you truly share a bond, Albus cannot keep you apart"

Hermione was worrying at her wrists, something minerva couldn't see...she arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything to it.

"There are a couple of ways we can know for sure , but only one that's available to us right now. We need to see Severus , I think it's time we got you to the hospital wing"

* * *

Hermione and Minerva were already sat in Poppy's warded office in the Hospital wing when Severus and Poppy arrived , after a quick floo call with the headmaster.

As his gaze ran over the girl , the beast inside his chest growled.

It had been hours and already she looked terrible. Trembling and tearstained with fresh scratches on her wrists where the cuffs were.

He could tell that she was not comfortable being in the hospital wing. His mind touched hers with legillimency by way of greeting and she gratefully accepted the contact, enveloping him within her mind like a mental hug.

A quick glance at her recent thoughts and memories, which she laid open to him , showed him she was terrified when entering the wing but had pushed through out of her desperation to see him once more.

She'd nearly had a major panic attack despite her determination , but Minerva's idea of getting her into the office and away from all the beds had gone a long way to helping diffuse the situation.

"We have some good news" Poppy announced to the room.

"We spoke to the headmaster , we managed to persuade him that it would be in everyone's best interests if we could take the cuffs off during the designated hours when Hermione was in the hospital wing... try and prevent any accidents , and so she can work properly on her 'Apprenticeship' "

Poppy went and stood next to Minerva as she spoke to the girl directly. " I know it's not perfect , but it's better than nothing and hopefully only temporary until we sort this mess out."

The girl nodded gratefully at the mediwitch and then looked hopefully to him.

He wanted to go to her , to physically hold her and soothe her. He was held back though by the presence of Minerva and Poppy.

"Go to her laddie , I dare say you both need it"

Approval given, he could not hold back any longer. He reached her in three large strides and pulled her into his embrace , where she sobbed in relief and held onto him like she was drowning.

Minerva was whispering something softly to Poppy and when the witch gasped , he raised his head to look at the witches who were both studying him.

"I think it's time we talked about the erumpet in the room , don't you laddie?"

* * *

"Soul mates? You're off your rocker woman"

 _She wasn't_  . His heart sang.  _You knew , you felt it then and you feel it now , there's no point denying it._

"The two of you share an affinity Severus I'm sure of it , especially after the discussion I had with Hermione"

He turned to the girl beside him with a raised eyebrow, She was rubbing her wrists where the cuffs had been and she sheepishly pushed the thoughts of the conversation with Minerva to the forefront of her mind.

_See... she's yours , yours to protect and yours to keep._

"It's not possible"

"There's one way we can find out , get out your wand"

"Really Minerva , in Public ?"

The girl shook with silent laughter at his side, and Poppy snorted.

"Och give over boy"

Reluctantly he pulled out his wand from the holster on his arm , and gingerly held it out to Minerva.

"Not to me boy , to her"

The girl froze at the side of him , and his eyebrows were in his hairline.

"Minerva, why..."

"You know why boy, that wand of yours has almost as bad a reputation as you for being bad tempered! Not only will it point blank refuse to work for anyone else , remember when your last holster broke and you dropped it in class? That poor boy that picked it up to pass you it got such a bad zap he couldn't write for a week , we had to get him a dictaquill for lessons!"

"Huh, I remember that " Said Poppy "Nothing I did would undo it , had to just wait it out"

"Precisely , and you wish me to hand it to He... Miss Granger ?"

"It's obvious you care for the girl..."

"I.."

"Don't interrupt"

He snapped his jaw shut and looked sulkily at her , to which Hermione held back a chuckle.

"Like I was saying , it's obvious you care for Miss Granger , whether I am right about this affinity or not , so I doubt for a second your wand would cause her any serious harm regardless"

He clenched his jaw and looked away.

"What are you waiting for boy?"

Hermione seemed to take a deep breath as he slowly turned to her.

After considering the piece of ebony wood in his hand... he slowly extended it out to her.

Shakily she reached out her hand and grasped it and Severus's heart plummeted at what happened next

* * *

**AN / Another cruel cliffhanger ! Sorry Guys.**

**Please review , I love your feedback and suggestions .**

**I feel like the interest in this fic is dropping out a bit though and I hope I haven't lost too many of you along the way , please review and let me know you're still here.**

**Also I'm going away with work for a few days so this story won't be updated again until the weekend.**

 


	35. Chapter 35

_After considering the piece of ebony wood in his hand... he slowly extended it out to her._

_Shakily she reached out her hand and grasped it and Severus's heart plummeted at what happened next_

* * *

There was a rush of magic around them , and the area suddenly seemed clearer...cleaner as if it had been purified, the scent of nature reminded Severus of being on the banks of the a spring in a beautiful woodland...if he closed his eyes he could almost see it.

Water droplets formed in the air and danced around her in a beautiful twisting pattern , before dissipating into the atmosphere.

It was breathtaking, he could feel the magic of his wand. Could feel that although it's loyalty was to him and always would be , it accepted her and was happy to be in her hand.

Minerva had encouraged her to try a spell and she'd flicked the wand, and the sad looking flowers on Poppy's desk began to perk up and grow , spilling out of their container as they burst into bloom.

Hermione was crying with relief.

"I would've never believed it if I hadn't seen it" Poppy said with a gasp.

"The way her magic manifested , and then with the flowers..." Minerva seemed to be thinking deeply as Severus still too stunned to say anything and Hermione too overwhelmed just looked on.

"Hermione... the flowers , how did you do that ? How did you make them grow , what spell or charm exactly?"

With a start Hermione looked to the wand in her hand and then to Severus , meeting his eyes so he could see her thoughts.

"No spell...nothing particular, she just wanted it to happen , it was the intent"

"Severus... your magic, your root magic, you are aligned to Air?"

Here he looked a bit cautious.

"Yes..."

"But you have a natural ability with fiendfyre, it combined with your patronus...something I didn't even think was possible, suggesting it is more in alignment with fire"

"Your root magic doesn't change...I have always been aligned with air..."

"I'm not saying that you're not , I'm saying that you're aligned with both"

He blanched and Poppy gasped , as Hermione stared with wide eyes.

"Impossible" he whispered.

"No it's not , it's rare , practically unheard of but it can happen , Merlin himself was and the four founders were rumoured to be just so dually alligned"

Minerva seemed frantic , almost giddy.

"Hermione's magic has always been earth , that's how she could make the flowers grow with just her intent ..."

Minerva was like a niffler on gold

"...But her magic manifested as water.." That was Poppy , seemingly following Minerva's train of thought as her eyes had widened in comprehension.

"Dually alligned , just like you Severus...don't you get it , don't you see ?"

He was shaking his head, not because he didn't see it, but because he couldn't believe it.

"Hermione's aptitude for healing is due in part to a strong alignment to water , which represents healing , peace and compassion...but an alignment to earth also adds strength and wisdom and caring, both earth and water are also distinctly feminine elements"

"Your alligment to air is for knowlege, intuition and the ability to change...but the added alligment of fire brings creativity, passion and protectiveness , both masculine elements"

Poppy was nodding now as he and Hermione were both stood wide eyed as Minerva went on.

Again Minerva was smiling , tears in her eyes as she spoke.

"What happens when you combine the four elements?"

"You get the 5th element" Poppy gasped.

"And what is the 5th element?"

Minerva was grinning as Severus turned and looked to an equally shocked Hermione, and spoke quietly

"...Together they make Spirit"

"Which represents ?" Minerva prompted.

And it was Hermione who spoke two soft words.

"The soul"

* * *

"Severus , I want to try something...hold your wand with Hermione"

Then Minerva transfigured a spare chair into a sealed glass box and filled it with earth from a spare plant pot.

"This box is airtight, now I want you to do something together...I want you to change the earth into a different element , but don't tell each other what you are going to do, just feel it"

Both he and Hermione gasped.

"Minerva, I have no such skill with such transfiguration, I can barely manage to turn a rat into a goblet!..this is not changing one solid object to another...to transform one element into another , it's something only a powerful wizard like Dumbledore could do, and even then it is no easy task"

"Try it , together"

He looked to the girl who was looking at him apprehensively.

"How are we even going to begin to do this ?"

"Just feel the magic , let the intent guide you"

He was sweating and his hands were shaking as he approached Hermione, she gulped and held out the hand that was still holding his wand and together they grasped it.

They both gasped at the sensation of the magic running through them and their eyes snapped to each other.

It was infinity, endless... the ouroboros, the serpent biting it's tail to create an infinite circle. it was infinite possibility but more than that ...he was whole, and he could tell from the look on her face that she felt it too.

Right there as his magic flowed through his wand and into her , and her magic into him , he was the first time in his life whole...he hadn't even realised that half of him was missing until now.

The urge to protect her reared in his chest as everything in his being screamed at him ,  _yes ! This is good , this is right, this is the way it's meant to be!_

He even felt himself become aroused, thankfully hidden by his robes, and could tell from her dilated pupils that she was there with him.

Her magic running through him , and his running through her... he was complete.

In perfect sync they both turned to look at the box of earth , and he just allowed himself to feel.

For once in his life, no barriers, no occlumency... just felt what his magic, his soul, his passion told him to do.

His magic pulled, and the box began to tremble as then suddenly alighted with flame.

His eyes widened and Hermione gasped ...for they had not just started a fire, or set something on fire , anyone with a basic incendio could do that.

No...there was nothing in the box, the earth was not  _burning_ it had _gone_. They had transfigured the earth into fire.

"Merlin's beard!"

That was Poppy and Minerva just looked shellshocked.

He felt the the urge to follow his magic, and this time he felt the pull of Hermione's feminine magic rush through him and the flames suddenly became water , the glass box now resembling a tank.

Barking an incredulous laugh he felt his magic pull back to him and the water dissipated into air.

Then the warmth of her magic , sweet , feminine ran through him again and the air began to thicken and was once more dark life giving earth.

They both just stared at the box of dark earth on the desk.

"Impossible" Poppy was wide eyed and trembling

"No it's not...look"

Minerva had scooped out the earth from the box and piled it on Poppy's desk next to some earth from the plant pot.

"This earth is identical from the one that I put in from the plant pot, you know when something is vanished it can't come back. And when that box was on fire it was empty, it had nothing but fire, same with the water and air. They didn't just vanish the earth, then cast an incendio and an aguamenti, the summon some dirt to fill it. They didn't summon that fire into an empty box...because this is the same earth that they started with...which it couldn't possibly be if they had vanished it. They truly transfigured it into fire, then water, then air and back into earth"

"I've never seen a feat of magic like this" Both Poppy and Minerva were staring at the two of them as they stood there.

"They truly share an affinity , together they're complete...soul mates"

He couldn't bring himself to let go of his wand , which he could practically feel purring in their combined grasp...couldn't let go of the completeness he felt with the girl by his side.

* * *

 

_She is mine...she is mine...she is mine...and I am hers._

The last thought broke through him, so happy was he that accepting this bond meant that she was his , so content and excited and aroused that this beautiful , compassionate, intelligent woman was his , truly his and destined to be his... he had forgotten that would also mean that he was hers.

No. that would not do.

He pulled back his wand from her grasp and tucked it in his holder as the girl beside him gasped at the loss of connection and he fought the urge to go to her , and slammed his occlumency shield in place.

"No , I refuse to accept this"

The look of hurt she gave him nearly broke him, because he didn't only see it in her eyes, he _felt_  it.

"Severus ! This is not a choice, you know that you feel it... don't deny that you care for her ?"

His heart clenched as he saw the tears running down her face.

"I did not say that "

"Then why ? Why refuse the bond ?"

"It's wrong"

The girl beside him gasped and covered her mouth as the tears ran freely down her face, and Poppy rushed to comfort her.

"Severus , look at you , you're shaking... why are you saying these things , you nearly burned down your chambers when Albus took her away"

He was shaking, he was trying to hold everything back with his occlumency and he was failing , his heart was at war with his head and all he wanted was to go to the girl.

"It's not right that she is mine !"

"Severus ?" Minerva questioned as she approached him like one might a wounded animal.

It was after all what he was.

"It's not right , she's mine and I'm hers, it's not right!"

"Severus.. what's wrong with that ? You obviously belong together, I've never seen you so at ease with anyone , She trusts you and you obviously care for each other" She was rubbing his back now trying to calm him down as he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"It is not right , it's not right..."

He was shaking his head and stepping away , trying to distance himself from the girl as if he could not feel everything in his being desperately reaching out to her.

But it wasn't Minerva or Poppy but a soft, pleading word from her that broke him.

Full of grief , pain and sorrow she spoke one word.

"Why ?"

He snapped , tears breaking free and running down his face unchecked.

"Because you deserve better!"

* * *

**AN / Managed to squeeze one out , better WiFi than I thought here !**

**Please review guys .**

**Also please remember this is a work of fiction and I reserve the right to artistic license to tweak a few things to make it work**

**(Elements, affinities , transfiguration etc)**


	36. Chapter 36

**AN: Sorry guys, I'm getting a lot of reviews about bad grammar and punctuation.**

**I'd like to remind people that I am writing and posting this from a phone, I also have no beta.**

**Sometimes auto-correct screws things up aswell, doing my best and hope it's still legible.**

* * *

_He snapped , tears breaking free and running down his face unchecked._

_"Because you deserve better!"_

* * *

"Severus...Better than what ?" Minerva Questioned.

"Better than me !"

There was silence for a moment , as none knew what to say.

Hermione stood at one side of the room tears falling down her face as Poppy comforted her.

Severus stood at the other side with tears running down his face, with Minerva at his side.

He could not look at the girl, could not see the pain he was causing her or show his shameful behaviour, so unseemly for a grown man to cry so openly in front of the women.

How many times was this now ? That he had lost control and openly wept in front of them?

His father's voice echoed in his head.

_Stop crying you little ponce! With your long hair and that stupid sissy outfit you wear, all the neighbours are going to think you're one of those fucking arse bandits, you little fucking embarrassment, If you don't start t'act like a normal boy you little freak, instead of crying and dressing like a little girl and I'm going to tan your fucking hide !_

"Severus, what makes you think for a second that you're not worthy of love?"

_Only my entire fucking life up until this point_

Falling into a chair he buried his head in his hands, hiding his face away.

"I am an old, ugly, vicious and bad man that has been marked by evil... I am the man that makes students cry and I am damaged goods Minerva!... and she is everything that is good and pure and she deserves better than to be tainted and dragged down by me"

There was a tense silence in the room, as everyone took in the amount of vitriol and self loathing that Severus held in his tone.

The silence was broken by the creaking of the door as it opened, then closed.

All eyes turned to the doorway as no person emerged through it , but before they could grab their wands a ginger bottlebrush tail appeared , as Crookshanks sauntered into the room.

The focus of the room was on him as he regally sat in the middle of the room and cleaned his front paw, before taking in the surrounding people.

With a mrrrowled greeting to Hermione, he sauntered over to Severus and jumped into his lap, headbutting an affectionate kiss on the shocked man before collapsing into a boneless heap of purring feline in his lap.

He was too shocked to do anything other than raise his hand and run it down the cats back, causing the purrs to increase in volume.

"The last time I tried to stroke that cat, I needed dittany" Poppy said Dryly.

Hermione blushed with embarassment at that and was still looking nervously at Severus.

It was Minerva that made the next move and placed her hand on his back.

"Even her familiar accepts you Severus, and he is not known for his apporachability, have you ever known familiars to be a bad judge of character?"

He simply shook his head, unwilling to look at any of them.

"Coming from a woman that's old enough to be your mother, I resent the fact that you're calling yourself old, you may feel it Severus and i don't blame you after the life you've had, but you're what 36 ? You're not exactly out to pasture yet laddie" Minerva spoke softly.

Poppy cleared her throat and added "You're not a bad man Severus, and being marked by evil does not make you evil...As for the rest, I think that's up to Hermione to decide, don't you ?"

Hermione took a step away from Poppy and toward him, Minerva grabbed poppy and ushered her to the office door.

"I think I hear a student coming in..."

They were left alone

* * *

He heard her take a fortifying breath, then a step forward.

And another.

And another.

Soon she was in front of him, he could see her feet in front of his, but he did not raise his head.

She raised her hand and cupped his cheek, and he prepared himself for her rejection, she would let him down gently he knew she would not be cruel.

"You're not ugly" Her words were spoken whisper softly and sincerely.

He snorted.

"We need to check your eyes"

She kicked him in the shin.

"Ow"

That worked, he looked up to glare at her.

She was smirking,  _she'd planned that the little reprobate!_

"Made you look"

Her words were almost a whisper, and he knew that it made her uncomfortable to talk, she hated the change in her voice and this was the most she had said since she had returned.

He couldn't help it , he chuckled and she smiled back.

Sighing he spoke softly "You deserve more...better"

She shrugged "I'd rather have what I want, than what I deserve"

"What do you want ?" He found that he whispered back

"You"

"Why? I have nothing... _am_  nothing..."

"Don't" Her words were final, it was obvious she was not going to allow his self derision.

He sighed. "I have a lot of baggage"

She smiled, and once more pressed a hand to his cheek, but it was a sad smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I'll carry yours, if you take some of mine"

He gave a watery smile back and placed his hand upon hers, he couldn't deny this, couldn't fight it any more, when the denial felt like a physical pain between them.

"Deal" He said softly and rose to wrap her in his arms, to which she went gratefully.

The tears they had both been holding back broke free, and they sobbed tears of happiness, sadness and relief as they held each other closely.

Crook-shanks sauntered his way out of the room, his work was done.

* * *

When Minerva and Poppy returned, it was to Hermione and Severus sat together on the sofa, side by side and holding hands.

They shared a soft smile with each other , before returning to their places in the room.

After much deliberation it was decided that Pomona and Filius were to be brought in on the efforts , Minerva held a lot of sway with the other heads of house and likewise all four heads of house held a place of high regard among staff and students, having the four of them united would be a strong position to be in.

Minerva also noted than Filius especially would be a good person to bring in, he was an order member, a logical thinker and had noticed himself albus's exceedingly eccentric behaviours.

Deciding sooner was better than later, Minerva had summoned the two other heads of house.

It was a tense time as they went through everything to get the two of the up to date, and there were many tears from the motherly Pomona.

"You poor poor little dears" Much to both their shock, the large woman had squeezed both Severus and Hermione in a hug that took both their breaths away.

"I'd wondered...but I never thought... I thought it was harmless, endearing eccentricities but.." Filius had been upset he'd not done anything sooner.

Tea was summoned, and the real meeting began.

Eventually they had all agreed that if Hermione was going to be able to act any semblance of her normal self, she would have to put her Occlumency shields back up, there was simply no other way.

Severus had protested vehemently, after the issues with Dementors Kiss it was too dangerous and too soon to be placing any kind of mental barriers up, let alone extensive walls.

But none could think of a better plan.

Severus finally agreed reluctantly, but only on the condition that she would drop her barriers at least once a day and "Decompress" when she was safely in the hospital wing with him and Poppy, it was too dangerous to her mind to hold the barriers any longer.

They had to spend a long time trying to think of an alibi for Hermione, and a plan of action.

Albus's logic was so ridiculous, there were so many holes in his plan they could have used it to drain pasta...so desperate was he to just have Hermione back with Harry.

They'd tweaked the story they were sharing with the students, and the one they were sharing with Harry and Ron.

Pomona & Filius would knew the whole truth, including the newly discovered bond between Hermione and Severus.  
It had led to many tears and congratulations from the two of them.

Between the four of them, the heads of houses would try and find other staff to be brought in on the issue.

The new plan was thus.

She was going to take her Newts early in all of her 'extra' subjects, But not drop as many as Albus had originally suggested, it was too implausible so she was going to test out of Ancient runes, Arithmancy, Astrology, Care of Magical Creatures & Muggle Studies.

As Albus had conveniently dropped the bombshell that Severus was going to be defence teacher this year, Hermione would take potions with Slughorn and other than that the only classes she would take were the ones held by the four heads of house.  
Defence with Severus, Transfiguration with Minerva, Charms with Flitwick and Herbology with Sprout.

For a total of 10 Newts, 5 sat early and 5 with the rest of the year.

The magic suppression cuffs would be disillusioned, so nobody knew she was wearing them.

The student body would indeed hear that Hermione was cursed by a book, and spent time in Mungos and that would explain her lack of voice.

They would also be told that she was suffering magic depletion as a result, which was why she was currently unable to cast any magic.

Harry and Ron would be told she'd been the victim of a death-eater attack, and her wand had been lost, assumed destroyed.

They'd be told she had been cursed, which is why she was suffering magic depletion and had no voice.

There wasn't really an excuse to be made for sitting her newts early, as none in the school could question the girl's intelligence, and her 'apprenticeship' with Poppy and Severus was fairly straightforward too, as many knew of her time spent helping in the hospital wing.

Harry and Ron would also be told it was for the benefit of Harry and the order.

They had devised as system whereby if one of them noticed Hermione struggling to cope, they would conjure a piece of paper and say she had been requested by Poppy in the medical wing.

They would then let Poppy and the other members of staff know she was on her way there, any staff not teaching would run interference to try and ensure she got there without being bothered by anyone else.

Debating how best to let each other know, Hermione had shyly pulled a galleon out of her pocket and placed it in Filius's hand, after a quick look at Severus she pushed the relevant thoughts and memories towards him, to which he explained to the group.

Flitwick was practically in tears of pride as he examined the complex spellwork on the enchanted galleon.

"This is extraordinary work Hermione!"

She blushed and moved closer to him, and he put a soothing hand on her lower back.

They decided it was too risky to use Galleons, and after Hermione's suggestion to Severus, they instead decided to use something innocuous that they all had, a ring.

All four heads of house wore a sigil ring, with their house crest, that doubled up as a wax seal when sending official correspondance, Poppy also had one that had the healers sigil.

When they were debating on what to use, Hermione had here eyes flicking from person to person and then suddenly jumped as though an idea had physically hit her, she turned her eyes to Severus and brushed her hand upon his finger with the ring.

He had widened his eyes in comprehension and shared the idea with the group.

Once the rings were all suitably charmed, Filius gushing as he watched hermione work, Minerva had crowed praise on her cub, stating that such an excellent idea for communication should have been utilised by the staff eons ago!

Soon the time had come they were all dreading...contacting Dumbledore.

Minerva had drawn the short straw, as she was the one the headmaster trusted the most.

She'd flood to him and told him the new plan, with all the details ironed out and she told him that they had enlisted the other heads of house in helping Hermione and protecting Harry, Albus had been delighted at their forward thinking and was thrilled they had come to see sense.

He of course wasn't told about their code, or the rings.

There were sighs of relief all around when Minerva returned, with Albus's staunch approval of their plan.

Soon it was time for the other heads of house to retire, Pomona and Filius said their goodbyes and Pomona said to Hermione.

"If ever you need somewhere quiet to get away from it all, I'll set the greenhouses wards to accept you, just walk right in anytime you want, day or night, I know the plants and flowers help me relax sometimes when it all gets too much."

Hermione had given the matronly witch a shaky smile and a nod of thanks, her offer meant more than words to the girl.

After reluctantly replacing the cuffs, Poppy had bid them adieu and gone to check on her paperwork, whilst Minerva said goodbye to Severus and stood outside the wing, as she told Hermione that she would wait to walk her to Gryffindor tower.

Alone at last Severus pulled the shaking girl into his arms and just let her sob into his chest for a good while.

When she was calm enough he cupped her face in his hands, and placed a kiss on her forehead and staring into her eyes he helped her put her walls back in place.

Even with her walls in place, she did not shut him out. Their connection was dulled but not severed, she could not bare to part with it and he found that neither did he.

Holding her tightly once more they embraced for a long time, before he reluctantly urged her to let go.

This time with her occlumency in place, she did not cry as she walked back to Minerva and the loneliness of Gryffindor tower.

She did not cry.

But Severus did.

* * *

**AN / Please review people , thank you for your responce and your continued support.**


	37. Chapter 37

_Holding her tightly once more they embraced for a long time, before he reluctantly urged her to let go._

_This time with her occlumency in place, she did not cry as she walked back to Minerva and the loneliness of Gryffindor tower._

_She did not cry._

_But Severus did._

* * *

He got raging drunk that night.

Sobbing and drinking and breaking things as the beast inside howled at being separated from it's mate.

He had summoned his patronus, so that he wouldn't be alone, and the fiery patronus wolf had howled and raged along with him.

It was something he had always tried not to do...drink was his father's vice and it turned him into a monster.

After tonight he vowed that he would throw any remaining booze away, but tonight he needed to let it all out.

Now that he had accepted the bond, acknowledged it, embraced it...he was determined to be a better man for her.

For why does a man do what he must? But for her, to be hers, to be the kind of man that...to be a kind of man.

* * *

In Gryffindor tower she was sat upon her bed with the curtains drawn around her, creating a little space that gave some semblance of privacy.

Crookshanks was on her lap, offering what comfort he could.

She stared at her curtains as she tried to control her breathing, using it as way to anchor herself in the here and now.

The temptation to retreat behind her walls was immense , to hide behind her mental barriers and block out all the pain and fear.

So what if she couldn't find her way back out ? She wouldn't be suffering anymore.

She wouldn't be anything any more.

But No.

She couldn't retreat there, because she would be alone. Missing the other part of her that made her whole.

It was like a caged animal in her chest, whining and whimpering and calling out to it's lost mate.

Through the bond she felt Severus, could feel his anger and despair at being separated from her.

It hurt her, physically and emotionally. But in a way she was grateful for it, as it kept her focused.

Painful as the connection was, it was still a connection to him. While-ever she had that, she would hold on.

She had to hold on.

She had to breathe.

 _Breathe_  Hermione.

_Breathe._

* * *

The students would be arriving today, the train would arrive later in the afternoon.

In preparation she'd gone for breakfast in the great hall with the staff, and had sat by herself at the Gryffindor table, until Minerva came and sat with her.

She hadn't wanted the first time she was back in the hall, to be surrounded by others, so here she was sat with her head of house trying not to have a total breakdown at the agoraphobia that overwhelmed her.

Severus wanted to be there for her, she could feel his gaze from the staff table and see the way his hand was white as it gripped his fork.

But he couldn't , not with the headmaster and other staff watching, for they still didn't know how many of the staff would come down on their side.

Horace Slughorn was the newest addition to the staff table, and he was entirely too cheerful for Hermione to cope with right now.

So she met Severus's eyes, and their minds brushed against one another in greeting, strengthening their bond.

She had pushed her emotions forward so that he had felt her fear, stress, anxiety...but underneath it all the determination to see this all through, to be strong for him.

The beast that roared in his chest was quieted by the nearness of the whimpering animal in her own, in that moment of eye contact they were each others strength.

* * *

Hermione had chosen to avoid the feast and sorting that night , everyone would be too worked up and excited catching up with people over the holidays and over the sorting of the new first years.

Instead she sat in Gryffindor's common room, as she waited.

She knew that right now Dumbledore had pulled Ron and Harry into his office to tell them their version of the tale.

The death eaters attack, her loss of voice and magic.

Both Severus and Minerva would be there.

Then Harry and Ron would be coming to Gryffindor tower, where they would have some time alone before the feast finished and the rest of Gryffindor descended on them.

She would be going for her 'Potions' in the hospital wing then, avoiding the return of the rest of the students...she would return when they had hopefully all gone to bed.

Then tomorrow she would be in the thick of it. No more avoiding the masses.

Her stomach was rolling as butterflies the size of cornish pixies, did acrobatics in her stomach.

* * *

She was sat in the chair by the fire, with her back to the large windows.

She hated the windows and the view from Gryffindor tower , time was she used to sit in the large windows and read in the light.  
Now she tried to avoid them at all costs, as sickening vertigo ran through her whenever she caught a glimpse of how high she was.

Moving closer to the fire , she tried to control her breathing once more.

Another thing she now had to contend with, was her constant fear of being cold.

She wrapped herself in as many layers as she could without being suspicious, and sat close to the fire.

A slight sheen of sweat graced her forehead, but it was better than the alternative

Hermione had been cold before, really truly cold as the wind from the sea whipped around her in her ragged robes and the 3 walls offered no shelter from the bite of it.

No.

Better to be too warm, than to ever be that cold again.

The cuffs itched at her, vile and unnatural things, they felt heavier than they had any right to be.

* * *

When the boys walked through the room she was lost, all her preparation for naught.

Minerva had guided them in and told her she would be returning to collect her and escort her to the hospital wing later.

She was grateful for the quiet strength the witch exuded.

Then it was just her and the boys.

They both seemed to be taller than when she saw them last, Ron especially.

And he was so tall already.

These were her friends, her brothers in everything but blood.

But as she looked at them, she was afraid,

They were her friends...But they were men.

Especially Ron.

Sweet Ron, who was tall and broad and smelled entirely masculine.

Things she'd once been drawn too, now terrified her.

She felt the fear creeping in like ice in her veins, and she forced herself to push it behind her occlumency.

And offer them a weak smile.

Ron offered her a reluctant grin, but Harry didn't smile.

He looked worn and tired, and there were bags under his eyes as though he hadn't been sleeping.

But of course...Sirius.

In all that had happened she had forgotten that he'd lost his godfather...it had been weeks, but for her it seemed so much longer.

"Hey Mione" Ron had spoke cautiously and she had smiled softly

Severus, even Minerva would have seen that it didn't reach her eyes...but the boys didn't.

Ron had plopped onto the sofa opposite her and Harry had followed.

When he didn't say anything, Ron gave him a not too subtle elbow in the ribs.

"Hey "

She flicked her hands up in a little wave.

Harry had always been the closest to her, more like a brother, but he was seemingly intent on ignoring her.

"Nasty bit of business over the summer ey 'mione ? Dumbledore told us"

_Breathe._

Occluding heavily she offered a weak smile and nodded.

"Something wrong with your hands too?"

Her brow furrowed at the animosity in Harry's voice and she looked at him questioningly.

"What you on with mate ?" Ron was puzzled at Harry's tone as much as she was.

"I mean is there something wrong with her hands too, or does Mungos not have parchment and quills?"

"Ease up Harry..."

He stood angrily and she fought the shiver of fear within her at his apparent rage directed towards her.

_Breathe, Breathe._

"Thanks for all your letters,  _Hermione_ , so nice to have your  _support_...you of all people knew what Sirius meant to me"

She was still focusing on her breathing, at this point she was trying to remember reasons why it was so important that she needed to keep doing it.

Harry stormed off to the boys dormitories even as Ron called out to him

"Oi !"

Her nails were digging into the palms of her hand, and she was no longer sweating just from the heat.

"Don't mind him, he's being a git"

She simply nodded sadly to him , and tried not to flinch when he came and sat on the arm of her chair.

It put him so much higher above her, made him seem so much bigger.

Her body trembled with the force of her occlumency.

"So...Dumbledore says you're doing an apprenticeship in healing and stuff, testing early out of a bunch subjects"

She nodded weakly, praying he would move away soon.

"Come in right handy that, amount of scrapes we get in with quidditch and other stuff"

Another nod.

"Cool...cool...but you're er, still taking some other subjects with us right ?"

Another nod , she began to feel like one of those nodding ornaments you have on the dashboard of your car.

_Breathe Hermione._

"Sooo...you'll still be able to help with homework right ?"

She couldn't help it , she chuckled quietly and nodded once more.

_Same old Ron._

_"_ Cool" He smiled

"Well , McGonnagol said you've got to go to the hospital wing, so I guess I'll leave you to it"

She smiled to him, it was the first genuine smile she'd done since they arrived, and it was full of relief that she'd be alone once more.

He smiled back and headed up the boys dorm.

"Later 'mione"

* * *

 

The second she was alone she dropped her head into her lap and covered her the back of her head with her hands.

It was as if in addition to her occlumency barriers, she was trying to physically hold the pieces of herself together.

She didn't know how long she was there rocking , but when she came back to herself it was to Minerva untangling her hands from where she'd fisted them in her hair.

"Come on Hermione, let's get you to see Severus" Her voice was soft and worried.

Hermione stood and went with her, she should be excited and relieved to see him, but she was occluding so heavily that the feeling was distant and muted.

It was there, it was like she knew what she should be feeling, but there was a glass wall between it and her.

* * *

When she arrived at the hospital wing, Poppy removed the cuffs and Severus helped drop her occlumency barriers.

She'd collapsed into his arms , sobbing and shaking, she was so wound up she had to push him away as she bent over and vomited.

He quickly vanished the mess and caught her before her knees gave out and she collapsed on the floor.

He held her in his arms, rocking her and soothing her as he stroked her hair and mumbled soothing words.

As she broke apart in his arms, she could do nothing but hold him closer to her and wonder how she was going to do this , when she had to deal with more than just her best friends in the morning.

But as the usually severe potions master held her and rocked her within his arms...an action so out of character for the man, she vowed that she would do her best for him.

To be strong for him.

To make him proud of her.

* * *

**AN / Pros for you if you get my reference in this chapter - The real thing broke my heart.**


	38. Chapter 38

_As she broke apart in his arms, she could do nothing but hold him closer to her and wonder how she was going to do this , when she had to deal with more than just her best friends in the morning._

_But as the usually severe potions master held her and rocked her within his arms...an action so out of character for the man, she vowed that she would do her best for him._

_To be strong for him._

_To make him proud of her._

* * *

He'd held her as long as he could, simply offering her comfort in his presence.

It was a relief, a burden lifted, to be able to just be...broken... with him.

She didn't have to pretend she was coping. Didn't have to nod and smile. Didn't have to pretend everything was the way it was.

Instead she could just be herself.

She screamed, cried, sobbed.

She was so wound up she vomited and he simply vanished it.

She sobbed and he held her close.

She screamed and he let her.

She even hit him , pounding on his chest and he just took it all without a protest.

Throughout she never let go of him though, nor he of her.

* * *

This went on for over an hour, until she was so exhausted she could do no more than lay in his arms with tears steadily running down her face.

He soothed and placated her. The very sound of his voice was a balm on her soul.

Then Minerva appeared and it was time.

The cuffs were replaced, and she put her occlumency shields back in place.

With one last embrace, she left him behind.

The inner beast clawed at his chest like a living thing, at being separated from her once more.

* * *

When she had gone, Poppy approached him.

"She talks to you, doesn't she ?"

"If you could call it that" He'd said.

"She is not comfortable speaking, and only does so in very extenuating circumstances"

The woman had placed a hand on his shoulder.

"She went through so much..."

He simply set his jaw and nodded.

"She's not coping, this situation it's ridiculous and it's putting way too much pressure on her way too soon"

Once more he sighed as he agreed with her.

"She needs to talk about it, about what happened to her there"

"I know what happened to her Poppy, we all do...we treated the wounds"

"I know that Severus, but Hermione, she needs to  _talk_  about it, it's part of the healing process"

Gritting his teeth he didn't answer.

"Look at it this way, in normal circumstances, if ever rape can be considered normal that is...she would have been seen by a counsellor at Mungos, she would have had an interview with the aurors, she would have the support of her family"

The witch paused to ensure she had his attention.

"She would not have to go through all this thestral shit Dumbledore is putting her through...but the point is she would have had to _talk_  about it by now, that's why the process is what it is, because it's needed. It will be painful for you both, but If she bottles it up inside it's only going to get worse and on top of everything else she has to put up with , I'm worried about her ability to come through it with her mind intact"

He was fighting tears once more.

If he had to hear what happened to her, he feared for his own self control.

The inner beast roared and screamed for blood and vengeance.

_She was his, and any that touched what was his would pay._

"You're a good man Severus, I would talk to her if I thought she'd trust me enough but I don't think she ever will. I know it's unconventional , but it's clear to anyone who looks close enough how much you care for each other"

"I just want to protect her" He whispered desperately as a few tears leaked through and he angrily sniffed and fisted them away.

The short mediwitch pulled his head to her chest and stroked his hair in a motherly way.

"Ooh my poor boy , I know you do"

He let her comfort him, but hers were not the arms he wanted to be in.

* * *

It was the first day of the new term in September.

And Hermione Granger was on the verge of a breakdown.

Harry was still ignoring her, and wasn't being that much better with Ron.

She was sat between Ron and Neville and fighting the panic that went with it.

She'd hoped that Ginny would sit by her, and had gestured for her to take the seat, but the ever faithful girl had simply echoed Harry's scowl and sat beside him instead, leaving Hermione to count her breaths between the two men.

 _Just when did Neville get so tall aswell ?_  She thought to herself, remembering the pudgy boy from first year.

Or maybe I am just smaller.

More... insignificant... than I was.

The boys at first attempted to include her...well Neville did at least.

Sweet Neville tried his best to ask questions that had yes or no answers, so she could at least nod back to him.

But soon Ron dominated the conversation and she was forgotten once more, in favour of sports, jokes and food.

She couldn't decide if she was more hurt at the dismissal, or grateful to blend into the background.

So she sat quietly with her head down, as she poked at her breakfast.

Ron asked if she was going to eat her bacon and she shook her head no, so he finished her plate for her.

Well...it saved her the problem of what to do with it anyway.

* * *

Severus watched from the head table and exchanged a worried glance with the other heads.

The girl was holding on by a thread.

He'd angrily watched the boy wonder blank her, and felt her despair when the female weasley also turned her nose up and sided with Potter.

Hermione didn't have many female friends, she'd always been one of the boys as it were.

He was fairly certain that the weasley girl and the ravenclaw lovegood were the only female friends she had, so he knew that the girls blatant rejection had stung. He made a mental note to find a way to dock her house points and give her detention.

Aching to go to her he gritted his teeth and drank his coffee so strong and black it made his heart race and his guts clench.

With a small amount of guilt he saw the longbottom boy attempting to engage her, until the ignornant sod that was the youngest weasley male decided to dominate all conversation.

He truly had nothing against the longbottom boy, but he was a menace in potions, and in a subject where most things you work with could potentially kill you, he didn't have time to coddle him.

The boy was as loyal as a hufflepuff and would be a more reliable friend to Hermione than the other two idiots. He hoped he would be able to mend some bridges with the boy in Defence, as much as he was able to whilst still under the thumb of two madmen anyway.

 _She's not eating_. He realised as he watched her play with her food until the piggish boy took it from her.

_What sort of idiot friends couldn't see that she's breaking apart._

* * *

She felt the prickle on her neck and raised her head to see that she was being watched by none other than Draco Malfoy at the Slytherin table.

To put it mildly, Draco looked terrible.

He was paler than she'd ever seen him and that alone was saying something.

He was gaunt and the bags under his eyes were so dark they looked bruised.

The boy looked as though he hadn't eaten or slept through the entire holidays.

Surprisingly after regarding her for a long time, he inclined his head in the smallest of nods.

Never one to turn down any attempt at goodwill, she returned the nod with the smallest flicker of a smile.

He quirked his lip, not quite a smile but it was something.

And then he turned to the boy beside him and the moment was gone.

She wondered if Lucius had spoken to him as he'd promised.

* * *

**AN: What do you think about the ending ? Cruel? It's my middle name.**

**You know...along with**

**Sick, Depraved, Sociopath etc**

**Please let me know what you think , Reviews are fuel to the author's flame.**


	39. Chapter 39

_He quirked his lip, not quite a smile but it was something._

_And then he turned to the boy beside him and the moment was gone._

_She wondered if Lucius had spoken to him as he'd promised._

* * *

Over the next few days lessons went about as well as can be expected. Hermione was traumatised and had to occlude so heavily that her face was almost as blank as Severus's when he went to the Dark Lord. Each day it became harder and harder to shut everything out, and much to the worry of the staff, she was retreating farther and farther behind her shields to cope with it.

Herbology was the easiest , the nature of the subject meant they each and had plenty of room and not much reason to talk to each other...especially when focusing on a plant that tended to bite the unwary. Sprout had made Hermione take the bench in the far corner , no one else wanted it as it was nearest to the Sprouts desk and the thestral dung that was used as fertiliser. She was grateful though , the motherly witch had a soft exterior but ruled with an iron hand and her presence made her feel somewhat safer. And who knows ? If she smelled like thestral dung for the rest of the day, maybe the others would stay away from her. One could only hope.

With her new timetable and only taking 5 subjects, meant she only had one more lesson today and then she could spend the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing with Poppy. The first transfiguration lesson was much harder. With the cuffs she was unable to perform any practical work, but fortunately she was miles in front of the others regardless, so she had hunkered down and got her written work done, along with the homework that was going to be assigned at the end of the lesson.

Demonstrating the correct wand movements, without any magic and with Neville's wand as she lacked her own, was humiliating. Being unable to cast the actual spell gained her many snickers and mockery from other students, and it wasn't just restricted to the Slytherins either. Minerva quickly put a stop to the teasing, but not before Hermione withdrew further behind her barriers once more and sat for the rest of the lesson in silence, staring at nothing and worrying at her wrists. She ended up writing most of Ron's homework aswell, after all who cared if she was caught ? For she certainly didn't. Minerva could see what she was doing but didn't stop her. The blank look on her face was much more frightening to the Gryffindor Matriarch than Ron Weasley not doing his own homework.

By the time the transfiguration lesson was over, Hermione had done the written work aswell as her and Ron's homework, followed by a stack of first year grading for Minerva. The witch was frightened at how lifeless she appeared. The bookish girl would've been so proud to have been tasked with grading, as she had been once before when Minerva had a cold. It was more an excuse for her to keep approaching the girl without raising suspicion among the other students. Every so often she would approach Hermione and ask her yes/no questions about a specific student's work or grade, which the girl would answer with a nod or a shake of her head. But each time she approached, she would subtly offer some contact. A hand on her shoulder, her arm or her hand. Hermione would meet her gaze with tears in her eyes and nod gratefully for the attempted comfort. Minerva just wanted to pull the girl into a hug and had a good feeling the girl would've probably let her. Her own tears were hard pressed to be kept back as she watched her pseudo daughter struggle, for the sake of a boy who was intent on ignoring her.

She had noted with interest that of all the students she chastised for mocking her , Draco Malfoy was not one of them. As he sat at the back of the classroom, almost as silent as Hermione.

* * *

Finally she was free from lessons and once more on her way to the Hospital wing. The halls were the worst for her though, the sheer amount of students moving between classes was overwhelming. She stayed close to the wall and ran her hand on it throughout her journey, just feeling the comforting presence of the castle itself. Someone had once said that Hogwarts itself , through years of magic and life, was sentient in its own right. She believed it. The castle felt like an old friend and when she ran her hands along the smooth stone walls in greeting, she felt the magic pulse through her, offering comfort and strength. She never fell afoul of trick steps , and the stairs were always waiting for her when she needed to use them. It was as though Hogwarts itself was showing her that it was on her side. It was part of the reason she felt so comfortable in the dungeons, being surrounded by the stone there was like being protected in the heart of Hogwarts itself. It had felt like home.

When she reached the Hospital , Severus wasn't there. Poppy went to remove the cuffs but she shook her head no, and chose instead to wait until he arrived. Poppy looked sad, but understood her reasoning. She was afraid she'd lose control. She was still unable to stomach the hospital ward itself, and the sight of Poppy in her uniform was making her stomach turn, so she retired to the mediwitch's office and began searching for something to do manually and without magic, as Poppy was too busy to work with her. She should be afraid of retreating into herself any further than she already had. She could feel the coldness of her occlumency, it made her hands cold and her fingers numb. So in an effort to ground herself, she began to file and organise Poppy's paperwork.

Severus would not be here until the end of the day, and she did not to go lunch when the bell rang, she hadn't done all week. It was hard enough just to go to breakfast and dinner and be surrounded in the great hall, she could survive without lunch. A couple of hours after she started she had done all the mediwitch's filing and paperwork, so she sat quietly in the corner and worried at her wrists.

She didn't know how long she'd sat there just staring at the wall when she became aware that Poppy was infront of her. Not only that but her hands were on her shoulders shaking her and she was calling her name.

"There you are girl, I thought I'd lost you!"

Blinking as she came back to herself, she felt her muscles tense and stiff and vaguely wondered how long she had sat staring at the wall. By the sound of Poppy it had been more than 2 hours, yet she couldn't bring herself to care.  
Poppy was very pleased with how she'd organised her paperwork without being asked, it was unexpected and a relief for the mediwitch who had been focusing on a group of boys who'd overdosed on weasley's puking pastilles in an attempt to get out of class.

"Severus will be here soon, his last class is due to finish and he's coming straight up"

She merely nodded , she knew that should make her happy but she was so far behind her occlumency that she couldn't connect to the emotion.

Poppy stared worriedly and sent a silent prayer that Severus would arrive soon.

* * *

The girl was slipping away. Each day her walls were being put up higher and higher in an attempt to shut everything out , and each day it was getting harder and harder for him to help her bring them down and get her back to the present. When she was in the present , everything was overwhelming her and she shook like a frightened rabbit. All of the staff were worried, and he noticed both the Longbottom boy and the Lovegood girl attempting to engage her, to no avail.  
The Weasley boy was oblivious for the most part, and the little cretin Potter didn't seem to care, too busy wrapped up in his own anger.

"Hermione , Poppy said something to me a few days ago and though I didn't think so at the time, I now think she was right" He spoke softly and steadily to her.

They were sat beside each other on the sofa in the office and she held a warm cup of tea in their hands.

"Not only that , but I saw the look you exchanged with Draco in the great hall , and a number of staff have said he's refrained from teasing you like his peers"

She shuffled her feet and dropped her head, staring forlornly into the teacup in her hands.

"I want you to talk to me...about Azkaban , about everything that happened"

Her shoulders tensed and her posture went rigid , and he could feel the cold as she drew her occlumency shields up, he took the cup from her hands and placed them in his much larger one, casting a wandless warming charm around them.

"No, don't occlude" he spoke softly.

"I want to help you get past this, bottling everything up is not helping you, you need to talk about it with someone to help you start to heal"

Her shoulders shook with suppressed sobs, and he could feel her stress through the bond and it hurt him to think he was the cause of it.

"It won't be fun, for either of us, for you to relive what you went through...but each day I feel like I'm closer and closer to losing you, do you understand ?"

Trembling she nodded to him , and he sighed softly.

"So will you talk to me little one ? Tell me your story, all of it ?"

"I could show you..."

He heard the desperation in her tone, and felt a villain for cutting away her hopes.

"No." His voice was final.

"You must  _talk_  about it , you have to accept what's happened if you are ever going to heal, and this is part of the process, bottling everything inside with occlumency is unhealthy, you're going to break your mind trying to keep it all in"

_You'll hate me...you'll never want to be near me again_

The words were not spoken aloud, though he heard them just as clearly

"No...I could never hate you, nothing you can say would drive me away"

She buried her head in her hands and spoke brokenly

"You can't know that "

Holding her face in his hands, he raised her until she was looking into his eyes.

"Yes... I can"

There was no waver, no break in his tone. His confidence was absolute.

_You will never get rid of me , I will always be there. Always , no matter what you say._

She pressed her forehead against his and his tears merged with hers.

"Alright ?" He whispered, and she nodded.

"Please... when I say it...when I..."

"Yes ? Anything"

her voice was soft and her next words broke his heart.

"... please don't look at me "

* * *

**AN / The next chapter is going to detail Hermione's stay in Azkaban, and talk about everything she went through**

**If the chapters of her healing made you squeamish, you may want to jump ship for the next one and skip to the one after.**

**PLEASE REVIEW !**

 

* * *


	40. Chapter 40

_"Please... when I say it...when I..."_

_"Yes ? Anything"_

_her voice was soft and her next words broke his heart._

_"... please don't look at me "_

* * *

**WARNING: Graphic Descriptions of Violence, Non Con and Taboo Subjects in this and coming chapters!**

* * *

After her tearful request, which had broken his heart, Severus had quickly made the arrangements. This needed to be done sooner rather than later. It would take a lot out of her to tell the story, and it would leave her open and vulnerable. So he wanted to be sure that she had time to prepare before she told it, and then gather herself after, before returning to lessons.

The plan was thus

Saturday she would spend time with Severus in his quarters, as they had done before she was moved up to the tower. They'd brew together, eat and generally try to get her to relax.

Sunday she would be talking to him , about her time in Azkaban , and would once again spend the night in Severus's quarters.

Monday she would attend her meals as usual in the great hall , but skip lessons, and instead spend the day brewing in the hospital wing.

Dumbledore, Harry and Ron would be told that she was working on a potion that had time restrictive ingredients, hence the need for missing classes and spending time with Snape over the weekend, if asked Pomona Sprout would corroborate about some rare plants. As far as the three knew, she would be collecting and preparing ingredients for the apprenticeship.

It was not an ideal plan, ideally he would've liked more time after her admission for her to regain her composure before returning to classes. However in the middle of term it was near impossible to do, especially when Dumbledore was against her spending any more time away from Potter. Despite the fact that Potter wanted nothing to do with her.

* * *

Saturday came along and she arrived in his rooms via floo. The staff's chambers were all connected within the castle, so she flooed with Minerva and the other heads from the staffroom. It solved the problem of her not being seen to be in his  _actual_  chambers, and not just the lab.

She'd brought few things with her, just a change of clothes and her notebook it seemed. More and more she'd been trying to focus on drawing, as a release and he and the other staff had encouraged it.

He wasn't exactly a sociable man, and having the three other heads of house and Poppy in his rooms wasn't thrilling for him , but he'd been so full of pride when he got his owl this morning, that'd he'd asked them to attend.

"I shall not keep you all long, as I am sure you have important things to do  _elsewhere_ "

His emphasis was not lost, the staff knew this wasn't a social call , and Severus had no desire for them to spend any stretch of time forcing him into civil conversation in his own chambers.

"But I wanted to share with you the good news, as some of you may be aware Hermione has an excellent skill with art, and has combined it with exemplary charms work to create moving images"

Poppy and Minerva nodded along but both Pomona and especially Filius looked very intrigued, Hermione was biting her lip in rapt attention. She was more aware than he'd seen her in days.

"Today I received word from the Patent Office, Hermione's patent for the charmed images has been accepted, and she now owns all the intellectual rights"

"Oh my dear , that's excellent ! I'm so proud of you !" She was wrapped into a warm hug by Minerva, as the other staff congratulated the girl.

Pomona and Filius had begged to see her work, and Flitwick had tears of pride in his eyes when, at Severus's prompting, she'd shyly shown him some of the moving sketches in her notebook. He'd been so completely overcome he could barely string a "Well Done" together.

The other staff had left after congratulating her and fawning over her work. Now Minerva was hugging her goodbye. He could see the affection between them. Minerva truly did love the girl like a daughter, and likewise the girl was so obviously strengthened and comforted by the presence of the fierce gryffindor matriarch, who'd over the years given her more motherly support than her own parents ever had.

After he and Hermione had their discussion the other day, they'd spoke briefly of the plan for the weekend. Much to his surprise she had even told him that she would be fine with Minerva knowing anything that she told him over the weekend... but she couldn't tell it to her face. He was the only one she trusted to bare her soul to , and it filled him with a strange warmth, as he watched the closeness between the two women, knowing she felt even stronger about him.

* * *

They spent the day basking in each other's presence. As much as he wanted to spend the day simply holding her in an embrace, it would not be conductive to helping her heal. So after they spent an inordinately long time hugging, they got to work.  
Saturday was spent like those few days of bliss they'd had before Dumbledore ruined everything.  
They brewed together , read together, ate together and were always within touching distance of each other.  
Every so often they would reach out to each other, as if to reassure themselves of each others presence.  
Hermione's cuffs were removed and her shields were as down as they could get them.

When they'd worked the day away, they'd gone to bed.  
He'd offered her the bed once more, but she would not accept his departure. He held her all through the night, as they lay as close as physically possible. They both slept better than they had since they were so cruelly separated.  
There was nothing sexual about it whatsoever, just a comfort and closeness that both were grateful to have.  
The beast inside his chest was quiet and calm, soothed by the presence of the one it considered it's mate.

* * *

Eventually Sunday was upon them , and when they awoke she was not the only one that struggled to find the words.  
He asked if she wanted some breakfast , or anything to drink but she declined both.  
So he asked her if there was anything he could do.

"Just...hold me ?"

For almost an hour they lay silently , but awake. She had her head buried in his chest , and they were wrapped in each others embrace.  
Eventually she heaved a breath , and he felt a slight chill as she called on her occlumency to help get her through what was to come.  
He didn't tell her to stop, she would need everything to get through this.

Slowly she turned in his embrace until she had her back to him. But he held her still close to him , as he spooned into her body.

"After they took me...I woke up on the boat..."

* * *

**AN: SKIP TO THE END TO AVOID THE WARNINGS**

* * *

_The world began to return to her in pieces. The feeling of movement was the first , it left her mind reeling as her body seemed to rock and sway underneath her , as though she was not on solid ground. Soon after , the smell of salt water and the feel of it as sprays hit her face in frequent intervals, timed with the motion of what she was now sure was a boat._

_But what the hell am I doing on a boat ?_

_Then suddenly sight and sound rushed back to her as she heard the crashing of the waves and the noise of two men talking._

_Opening her eyes with a gasp she realised she was sat on a seat , and bound with her hands behind her back._

_"Oy oy , looks whose back with us"_

_She saw the two scruffy looking men , one an auror and one wearing the uniform of azkaban prison guards._

_Gasping she suddenly took in her surroundings and noticed with dawning horror that they were on a boat in the North Sea, and fastly approaching was the intimidating presence of Azkaban itself._

_"What's going on! why am I here, and why am I tied up , there's been some mistake !"_

_The prison guard just laughed and leered at her._

_"You're our newest inmate girlie ,we're going to be spending a lot of time together"_

_A cold pit of dread settled in her stomach._

_"No! You're wrong, this is a mistake !"_

_That mocking laughter was back again_

_"No mistake girlie , assaulting a ministry worker eh? That makes you a violent criminal "_

_"No, no, no...you can't , I can't ...not without a trial , the wizegamot !.."_

_"Ha , you've already had a trial girlie , slept right through it you did, guilty as charged"_

_What ? No ! This can't be happening._

_"That's not right , they can't do that!"_

_"Can and did princess , you're going to the top floor with the other violent inmates"  
_

_"No ! You can't"_

_The man suddenly sneered at her and grabbed a handful of her hair, yanking her head back painfully._

_"I'm getting tired of you telling me no girlie, and trying to tell me what I can and can't do , now you're going to do what you're told or things are going to go much worse for you , you get me"  
_

_Tears in her eyes as a feeling of helplessness overcame her , she nodded slightly._

_"B-but professor dumbledore?.."_

_"Never answered the court summons...pity that"_

_Both men started laughing as she sank into her seat , chin resting on her chest as she failed to contain her tears._

_She really was alone._

* * *

_They stripped her when she arrived , taking all her clothes from her as tears of mortification filled her eyes , she'd asked for a female guard and the man had leered at her._

_"You'll be waiting a long time girlie , aint no female guards on this rock...in fact with that crazy Lestrange bitch gone, you're the only female of the species here , won't you be popular eh ?"  
_

_No they can't be serious , they just can't , anything but **that**._

_They even took her underwear and left her shivering and trying to cover herself._

_Then the guard had stepped forward and began running his hands down her body._

_"Please don't" She shuddered._

_"Thems the rules girlie , all new prisoners get searched... **thoroughly** "  
_

_At his last word he'd dipped his hand between her legs and she'd kicked out and tried to jump away from him._

_"You can't.."_

_He'd slammed her into the wall making her head knock against it , as he quick as a flash raised his wand to her eye level._

_She froze instantly, eyes wide and body trembling._

_"There's two ways this can go girlie , either we do it the easy way , or you get restrained and we do it the hard way...and if we do it the hard way , I might just think that you're hiding something from me , and I'll be a hell of a lot more **thorough**  in my search , get me ?"  
_

_She fought a sob and squeezed her eyes shut as she nodded._

_"Good choice princess"  
_

_Fighting the urge to vomit she felt his rough hands trace down her breasts , things no one other than her had ever seen, let alone touched._

_She felt a finger trace the scar from the battle at the ministry , from the top to the bottom and finally ending between her legs as she choked a sob once more._

_"Shame about that isn't it princess, you're not so bad otherwise"_

_With a laugh he'd backed away from her , leaving her to desperately try and shield her exposed body with her hands._

_They brought her some soiled robes that looked older than her._

_She crinkled her nose at the smell and tearfully asked if she could please have some new robes._

_"It's these or nothing girlie... and frankly I don't mind the view, so..."_

_Frantically she'd snatched the robes from the laughing man as more tears streaked down her face._

_"Can you please give me some privacy to change"_

_"Sorry girlie , no can do , prison policy you see, can't have you concealing anything"_

_So with tears in her eyes she turned around and put her back to the leering man as she pulled on the dingy old prison robes, feeling utterly violated._

_Professor Dumbledore will sort this out , I only have to hold on for a day maybe two, someone will be here to sort this whole mess out , just keep your chin up Hermione, be strong, you're a gryffindor._

* * *

_Her resolve to be strong crumbled when they gave her the prison number, that was to replace her name whilst she was incarcerated._

_It all became too real as she held the board in front of her tear streaked face, and they took her photo. She remembered the posters of Sirius Black and his desperate screaming and fighting, and the one of Bellatrix Lestrange as she cackled madly. Now she had her own , Hermione Granger, the crying girl._

_When they brought out the ink , she fought them for the first time. Knowing full well this was permanent._

_"No ! You can't do this , this is all a mistake , I won't be here long , In a day or two they'll release me please "  
_

_The backhand across her face took her by surprise._

_Her parents though negligent as they were, were not violent people. It was so uncouth after all. She'd never truly been struck before , and as she lay dazed and frightened the large man loomed over her._

_"I think we already had a discussion princess, about you telling me what I can't do"_

_The man with the ink was given a piece of parchment, and he looked at her almost sympathetically before doing as he was told._

_She wasn't prepared for how much it hurt. The brutish guard had pinned her small body over a table , easily with one hand. Her face burned with humiliation as was bent over the table and the other guard used his wand to burn the ink into the back of her neck.  
It was agonising and she fought a scream as the feeling of the ink burned and burrowed under her skin like maggots._

* * *

_Still reeling from the shock and pain of the magical tattoo , and slightly cowed by the abuse and backhand across her face that had split her lip , she raised her hands without question when she was told to do so.  
_

_Two cuffs were placed around her wrists , and she was brought to her knees at the sensation._

_Her body reacted physically , violently ...as she suddenly felt as though all the strength had been drained from her._

_Wrong , wrong , wrong. Her body screamed at her , trying to find a piece of her that was no longer there._

_When she was much younger she'd seen a man on a bike get hit by a truck. It'd took his leg clean off and she always remembered the way the man , clearly in shock had just been sat there pocking at his knee and lifting it in the air to examine it._

_She understood how he felt, as her body was revolting and focusing on searching for that missing part of her._

_Turning to her side she vomited as a clammy sweat broke on her skin._

_"What have you done to me ! " She managed to gasp out as she was dragged to her feet._

_"Magic suppression cuffs, standard issue"_

_No. No , they can't take away my magic ,it's part of me, it's who I am._

_"Please, I promise I'll behave please take them off I can't bare it"_

_Chuckling darkly then man stroked a hand down her cheek._

_"See, now we're getting somewhere...begging is a much better idea"_

_With a sob she pulled away from him , and was roughly led out of the room_

* * *

_She'd almost screamed when she was thrown roughly onto the floor of the cell , quickly scrambling to her feet to get away from the perilous edge._

_Running back the door she'd was met with it slamming in her face and the chuckling visage of the guard._

_"Sweet dreams princess, see you tomorrow"_

_"Wait..please !"_

_But there was no answer as he continued walking away until she was left alone._

* * *

_Turning back towards what was to be her home for the night she shivered as the cold wind whipped at her robes, then blushed as she realised it reminded her that she was lacking underwear._

_Searching for a bed , or cot or somewhere to sleep she found nothing but a tatty piece of hessian , that looked like it started life as a potato sack._

_Other than that, the room was empty , devoid of all furnishings._

_Backing her way into the corner she tried not to look at the sheer drop at the other end of her cell. Instead choosing to hold onto a dangling plant in the corner that grew on the rocks. It was slightly slimy and smelled awful , but it was an anchor to hold onto._

_Covering herself with the hessian as much as she could , to shield herself from the savage wind she fought the sobs racking in her chest._

_She lost._

* * *

_When the sun finally came up , she was given a slight reprieve from the chill of the night._

_The cold had been almost unbearable , her limbs trembled with pain as he body fought the panic that she really might freeze to death._

_What she hadn't been prepared for , was the total blackness of the night._

_There were no torches or any other source of light to penetrate the darkness , so when the dark clouds covered the stars, the world was pitched into darkness._

_Occasionally dementors would drift by and she'd feel the unnatural cold approach her._

_Desperately , she called on her occlusion to try and shield her mind , but thankfully they showed little interest in her and moved along._

_She stood and made her way to the door as soon as she had enough light to see._

_Gasping with shock she looked through the barred window on her cell door to see another shocked face peering at her from the cell opposite._

_"Potter's mudblood... what the hell are you doing here?"_

_Swallowing her nerve , she bit out a responce ._

_"I'm here by accident , obviously , unlike you I shall be released soon Malfoy as soon as Dumbledore..."_

_Her words broke off at the mans broken chuckle._

_"If you're here on top level that means you're not going to be released, there's only one way out of here and I very much doubt **your**  master will be breaking you out any time soon"_

_Suddenly she took in the mans appearance , it was strange to see him without his expensive clothes and his hair was dirty and eyes bruised , as though he'd been punched in the face._

_She couldn't fight her nature as the words spilled from her mouth_

_"Are you...alright? you look hurt"_

_His eyes narrowed and focused on her_

_"And you care ?"_

_She gritted her teeth._

_"You're a prisoner , if someone hurt you you should tell the guards..."_

_Another chuckle broke her words._

_"Really ? How very...helpful. Truly , do you really think the guards give a single damn about what happens to any of us ?"_

_Her worry began to increase_

_" Their job is to look after the prisoners..."_

_"Their job is to keep prisoners under control , and nothing more"  
_

_She swallowed her words at that_

_"Tell me...Granger isn't it ? ...tell me , just how **friendly**  were the guards who brought you here ?"_

_She fought tears at the remembered assault from the guard._

_"They can't all be..."_

_"That **and**  worse... and that's before you meet the other inmates"  
_

_Her mind reeled at that and she snapped back her head as if in shock._

_"Meet the other...they can't put me in with the other inmates ...I'll be released soon... what if..what if they..."_

_Suddenly the sympathy showing on the mans face was so foreign , it frightened her more than any foul look he'd ever given her._

_"Are you a virgin Miss Granger ?"_

_Her face flamed  
_

_"How **dare**  you .. that's none of your.."_

_His hand waved dismissively and she cut off her words as he met her gaze_

_"I'm going to make you an offer Miss Granger , and it is one that I would not sneer at so quickly..._ _Whatever, innocence , you retain hold of , you will not posses it for long in here"_

_She began to protest but he once more waived her off._

_"Believe what you may , but I detest men who are violent towards women. It's vile , unseemly and frightfully uncouth. Whatever you may believe of me , I have never forced a woman to do anything against her wishes"  
_

_She was silent at that , she wanted to protest in her humiliation but his words really did seem sincere._

_Seeing he had her attention he continued._

_"Others here , will not share the same mind frame"_

_Blanching she took in his words._

_" When they come around and bring the morning cup of slop that is an excuse for food , I can persuade the guard to leave our cell doors open for long enough for you to enter my cell or vice versa, I do not care for you , but I shall not hurt you needlessly"_

_Suddenly her anger rose at his words._

_"What exactly are you suggesting Mr Malfoy ? that I'll...I'll..."_

_Hard eyes met hers_

_"I'm suggesting nothing girl , i'm giving you the option to make the choice for yourself before it is no longer your choice to make"  
_

_She felt sick , physically sick as his words and their meaning registered._

_"No... no you're tricking me, you're a death eater, they won't put me in with the other prisoners, they can't! And even if they did the guards can't let them..."_

_She trailed off as she met his gaze._

_"The choice is yours Granger , they'll come around with breakfast , and then in a few hours we'll be taken to the yard with the others for our daily 'exercise' which means standing in a freezing courtyard for a few hours, along with the rest of the top level inmates"_

_She was shaking her head denying even the thought of it_

_"If you truly wanted to help me , you could stop them, you're a **malfoy** , you could..."_

_A sound that was part laugh, part sob came from him and her eyes snapped to his in shock._

_He gestured to his face and the bruised eyes._

_"While the name Malfoy may hold some sway among the guards and the other death eaters, it means nothing to those who are due to spend the rest of their life on this rock , they have nothing to lose nor to gain."_

_Once more she felt like her world was falling away from her . Surely he couldn't me that he had... that they'd... **to him**_

_She was broken out of her reverie by the sound of the guard approaching with the morning meal as he'd predicted._

_"Your choice Miss Granger..."_

_No , she couldn't , this was all a mistake , Harry, Ron , Dumbledore...the order, she would be free soon , any minute now this mess would be sorted, they would not let her come to any harm. Malfoy was tricking her , he just wanted to hurt her and humiliate her._

_"No" The words burst from her , head shaking in denial of her situation._

_"No , no ... this is a mistake , I'll be out of here soon , today no doubt"_

_The man inclined his head sadly to her through the bars and stepped back as the gruel was passed to him._

_She gingerly took her own gruel and stepped back._

_Malfoy was just trying to get under her skin_

_Everything would be fine , this would be over soon._

_She would be fine._

* * *

**AN: Please review.**


	41. Chapter 41

**_AN: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE, INJURY AND NON CON_ **

* * *

_Malfoy was just trying to get under her skin_

_Everything would be fine , this would be over soon._

_She would be fine._

**_cont._ **

* * *

_She wasn't fine._

_In fact she was pretty sure she'd never be fine again._

_For the first day she sat beside Malfoy the entire time , before they'd got outside he'd put an arm around her and dragged her to his side whilst they were in the yard._

_When he put his hand on her knee and began inching it up her leg and under her robes she'd been about to protest when he hissed quietly in her ear._

_"The only way they will keep away from you is if they think you're mine"_

_She'd froze at that , all too aware of the looks that some of the other death eaters were giving her._

_"They will not risk my ire when they know my money and my position might gain them favour"_

_He'd been...gentlemanly she supposed , as gentlemanly as a death eater prison inmate could be whilst feeling you up in front of all his compatriots._

_But he'd talked a big game , made a show of slinging his arm around her and dragging her to his side, he'd put his arm up her robes but hadn't gone any further than her thigh, though from the way he spoke lewdly to the others, they didn't know that._

_All in all it wasn't as bad as what the guard had done to her, even if she wanted to cry regardless._

_Before they were separated to go back to their own cells , he'd spoke to her once more._

_"You had better hope that your master comes through for you as you say girl , tomorrow the lifers will be in the yard with us, and there is nothing I can do to keep them from you"_

* * *

_They hadn't come for her._

_She'd asked the guard if there was any messages for her , and he just laughed._

_Come morning, she was still a prisoner._

_She couldn't eat her breakfast gruel and once more Lucius asked if she wanted to come into his cell._

_Once more she declined._

_And once more the frightening look of pity on the face of Lucius Malfoy , almost made her reconsider._

_She still had faith that this would be resolved , she'd only been there about a day and a half by her reckoning, and paperwork takes time._

_They wouldn't let anything happen to her._

_They couldn't._

* * *

_They were walking side by side once more , Her and Lucius towards the yard._

_Her heart was pounding in her throat and her stomach was somewhere under her feet._

_But still she remained faithful to the order, Dumbledore and Harry._

_Chin raised high she walked on._

_"Don't fight them"_

_It was said quietly , and no one else would have even seen his lips move._

_"I will not stand by and.."_

_"It will be worse for you if you fight, I am loath to admit but you're an impressive little duellist for a young mudblood, but without magic you are nothing but a little girl in the serpents den"_

* * *

_The second she'd walked into the yard, Lucius had once more dragged her into a corner._

_This time he'd pinned her against the wall , and pushed his hand up her robe again._

_When his face came to her neck he hissed into her ear._

_"Stay quiet and try not to attract attention to yourself"_

_She'd realised with a start that he was trying to hide her from view, shield her with his body whilst hoping that the lifers wouldn't find out about her._

_It had been a vain hope , no sooner had they been released into the yard than Lucius weight had been pulled from her and slammed into the wall beside her._

_She'd froze as the large man looked down at her , grinning through dirty broken teeth and 2 others grinned from beside him._

_"Hello Princess , you're a tasty little thing aint ya ?"_

_Lucius had stood up and aimed his best pureblood glare at them_

_"As it so happens, she's with me "_

_She'd gasped in shock when quick as a flash the much larger man had punched him in the face hard enough to drop him to his knees , she'd attempted to go to help him but had been held back by the other brute._

_The hulk of man dragged Lucius up by his hair._

_"And here I thought you had enjoyed my company, Pretty Boy?"_

_Lucius couldn't meet his eye, but he did meet hers, with his jaw set._

_That was the moment she finally understood his warning._

_"Get lost Blondie locks , got to get introduce myself to princess over here"_

_With that he had been pushed violently away, landing on the floor a few feet away._

_Then suddenly he was gone from her sight , and she was caged in by the three hulking men._

* * *

_I'm so small , gods they're so much bigger than me , why am I so small ?_

_She'd attempted to run, to push her way past them and when that had failed she'd punched and kicked and fought._

_It hadn't taken long for the brutish man to overpower her and push her to her knees._

_She was so afraid and humiliated, shaking on her knees as the man began to pull himself from his robes, she may have been a virgin but she wasn't naiive. She knew what he wanted._

_Her mind tried to focus on everything but her situation as she desperately fought her rising fear.  
In minute detail she remembered the sharp pain of the stones digging into her knees and the wet feel of the blood soaking into her robes.  
She remembered the dirt and grit on the mans hands and that his robes were so discoloured they no longer appeared striped.  
_ _She remembered the smell of sweat and unwashed body and the way his robes had frays and holes in them , and as she pushed at his legs she remembered the greasy waxy feeling of the dirty robes he wore._

_She dwelled on anything she could but the pain of his bruising grip on her jaw and the sight of his erect cock held in her face._

_"Nice and easy girly , you don't want to fight me "_

_She'd fought him of course until he'd slammed her head into the wall behind her, making her see stars and gasp for breath._

_Then he was **in.**_

_Tears flooded her eyes in shame and humilation as she fought the urge to gag at the taste of his unwashed cock hitting the back of her throat._  
He groaned obscenely and fisted a painful hand in her hair , jerking her head back to give him a better angle.  
She wanted to weep and cry and then suddenly she found her courage. "Don't fight them" Lucius had said.

_"Don't fight me" the brute had said._

_No, I'm a Gryffindor , and I **will**  fight.  I would not be beaten so easily. I'm not afraid, I'm not humiliated, I'm angry !_

_Resolve set, and s_ _teeling her gaze she glared at the man._

_Then she bit him._

_Hard._

_Hard enough to draw blood and a pained scream from him._

_It only took a few moments for her to realise it had been the wrong decision._

_A terribly wrong deciscion._

_He'd pullled out of her mouth cupping his injured cock and she'd gagged and retched , the taste of sweat and blood in her mouth._

_A second later she'd met his angry gaze with her own, defiantly as he screamed at her._

_"Fucking little cunt"_

_Then he'd punched her._

_If she'd thought the guards backhand was something to be upset about , she'd be so very very wrong._

_Again and again he hit her , and she could do nothing but sob and go limp and hope he wouldn't kill her._

_All thoughts of defiance and anger were gone when_ _she felt something crack and give way._

_Oh god the pain, No ! Please Don't!_

_He'd dragged her subdued body to her feet once more and pushed his cock back into her mouth , grunting._

_I want my grandma , I want Mcgonnagol , please I'm so scared I just want to go home, I want Hogwarts please._

_He'd used her until he came in her throat , and then released her to collapse on the floor._

_She'd thrown up blood, bile and a tooth and then cried at how much it **hurt** to do it._

_She'd thought it would be over but then the next one of his friends was stepping forward and had his hands under his robes._

_She begged then , all pretence of gryffindor defiance gone , she begged despite how much it hurt her mouth to do it._

_"P-Please. p-lease don't p-please "_

_Her pleas went unanswered._

_"I don't need to tell you what happens if you fight me mudblood"_

_She shook her head desperately no , though she still tried to close her mouth and push him away._

_It was no use of course , he wrenched her mouth open as the pain made her want to curl in on himself._

_And the process was repeated once more when the third man stepped forward._

_She was a sobbing wreck by the time they'd finished with her._

_When They were done with her , they were taken from the yard._

_The lifers weren't given as much time as the other inmates it seems._

_Thank heavens for small mercies._

_She was barely aware as Lucius came and sat beside her on the floor._

_He made no move to touch her, he just sat quietly by her side._

_In the wake of her abuse she noticed through tear streaked eyes , that there seemed to be a divide in the Yard._

_Beside her sat Lucius looking stony, and a number of other men had began to congregate at this side of the yard with him._  
Among them was the senior Goyle, Avery and Rabastan Lestrange , who if she thought too closely about it were almost flanking her.  


_Avery offered ripped some of the sleeve of his robe and gave her to wipe her bleeding face, along with the words_ _"I have a daughter your age"_

_Opposite side of the yard were the sneering faces of Dolohov, Yaxley and Mulciber and of course Rodolphus Lestrange._

_It seems the lines had been drawn._

_When the guards came to escort them back to their cells, she asked to be taken to the hospital wing._

_Another Mistake_

_When she was returned from the hospital wing hours later , pale and trembling she spoke one word to Lucius as she passed._

_"B-breakfast"_

* * *

**AN: I hope you're still with me ? Dark I know .**

**Comments, Criticism ? Any reviews are welcome**

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

**AN : Ok , so i've warned and warned about the darkness in this story , but some people are commenting that they're not wanting another rehashing of Hermione's tortures etc.**

**I can totally understand where people are coming from, but what I'm actually doing is filling in the blanks of her stay, nothing is going to be repeated that has been said already.**

**For Example Hermione's dental trip to the mediwitch has already been told in a previous chapter, which is why it was skipped here.**

**We found out why she needed it , and then skipped to her returning from it, because it's already been said.**

**Also , not every abuse she's endured will be detailed and this chapter will not be as visually graphic as the last one.  
That chapter was designed to shock , because it's the first incident that happened to her, it really sticks with Hermione in her head , which is why I wanted that one in so much detail as thats how she remembers it.**

**This chapter will be the last part of her stay in Azkaban , so if the abuse really bothers you , just skip this chapter and the next one will be back into the present.**

* * *

_When the guards came to escort them back to their cells, she asked to be taken to the hospital wing._

_Another Mistake_

_When she was returned from the hospital wing hours later , pale and trembling she spoke one word to Lucius as she passed._

_"B-breakfast"_

_Cont._

* * *

_As promised, Lucius had the guard leave his cell open the next day at breakfast.  
_

_He'd asked if she would prefer to come to him , or if she wanted him to go to her._

_She went to his cell , her cell might not be much but it was the only thing that seemed to be hers._

_It was not how she imagined her first time to be, on the cold stone floor._

_He struggled to get going a bit at first, and she almost thought it wasn't going to happen. Whether it was because of who/what she was or because he found the whole situation appalling, she didn't know nor cared to ask._

_But she used her hand to help him get started._

_He told her to close her eyes and imagine he was someone else, which she did._

_True to his word he didn't intentionally hurt her , so there was only mild discomfort and it didn't last very long._

_Still she cried for what she'd lost._

_He even managed to make her have a small orgasm , though it was hardly anything to write home about._

_It was one of those brief moments of pleasure that seemingly took more effort to achieve than it was worth._

* * *

_She knew it had been the right decision as soon as they got in to the yard._

_With their arrangement, they had arrived late and this time the lifers were already in the yard._

_They took her against the wall, the blood from her lost maidenhead was still wet on her thighs when the first man had her._

_The lead brute of the trio had been furious when he realised what had happened, and Lucius got a beating for his part in it._

_Still she could at least hold on to the fact that she had chosen her first time._

_It wasn't much of a choice , but it had been her choice._

* * *

_Time started to blur, as days turned into a week and she began to realise that help might not be coming as soon as she expected it._

_if at all._

_The violence became worse and worse, and she lived for the odd days of the week when the lifers weren't released._

_They were out in the yard every day of the week, the lifers only got out 5 days of the week._

_She never thought she'd be so happy to spend two full days in the company of death eaters._

* * *

_Eventually the death eaters, other prisoners and Lucius himself realised that the name Malfoy might not have the power everyone thought it did._

_No one was coming. For any of them._

_As soon as that was realised, what little sway Lucius had over the death eaters was gone._

_The 'family men' or so she'd named them, Rabastan, Avery, Goyle and Lucius, still tried to offer protection where they could from the other death eaters._

_But soon even the days without the lifers, were frought with abuse and pain._

* * *

_She'd tried to learn more about the men that were the nearest thing to 'friends' she had in here._

_When she found out that the older Goyle was often mocked for being Illiterate, despite being quite well spoken, she'd quickly realised from his embarrassed explanations that he was dyslexic._

_Such a thing was a foreign notion to pureblood culture._

_She spent time writing letters in the dirt to help him learn , using methods that she'd learned for her dyslexic cousin._

_The first time he wrote his own name, at 40 years old, he cried._

* * *

_There was almost daily fights in the yard now, over her._

_Between those that wanted her, and those that wanted to protect her._

_Sometimes the 'Family' won._

_Sometimes they didn't._

_Lucius had no throw with any of the guards or inmates anymore._

_It seemed that his connections were all dried up._

_The men started pissing in his food._

_So she gave him hers._

_She was too sick to keep it down anyway._

* * *

_One of the guards tried to force himself on her in her cell , and for the first time in longer than she could remember, she fought him viciously._

_She'd stopped physically fighting the men in the yard, knowing that it did nothing other than aggrevate her wounds._

_But this cell was her sanctuary , the only place that she was safe._

_She fought , and lost._

_The guard took off his belt and lashed her for having dared to fight him , before he raped her._

_Her sanctuary was no more._

* * *

_As the days went on, the lifers became more and more vicious with her._

_It seemed that the novelty of having a woman was wearing off, so they had to hurt her more and more to get their enjoyment from her._

_The night of the first time they sodomised her , she tried to kill herself._

_When they returned her to her cell , she walked straight to the edge and attempted to throw herself from it._

_And then cried when she realised the cells were warded against such things._

_It seems death could come to you accidentally , if you fell asleep too close to the edge, but if you actually **wanted**  it then it was denied to you._

_Another form of torture._

* * *

_Among the lifers was a hulking brute of a man , that did not spend any time with the other 3 bastards who hurt her._

_He was pure muscle and looked like he could've been related to hagrid he was so large._

_He offered her a way out, a vial and a promise , that he'd keep the others away._

_All he wanted was her consent._

_He wanted it to be her choice to come to him._

_He didn't want to rape her, he wanted a willing whore._

_She may not physically fight the lifers any more , but she didn't consent to them either. She resisted._

_So she sneered at him and walked away._

* * *

_Then the day arrived when they came for Lucius._

_The guards took him from the cell and he never came back._

_When she got to the yard, it was just her and the rest of the prisoners._

_The other death eaters, her family men , all gone._

_She asked a guard and it turns out they were moved to the lower level._

_No lifers, no dementors, no sky cells._

_It seems the Dark Lord looks after his own after all._

_And she was left alone._

* * *

_With no one to stand up for her any more , the lifers did what they wanted with her._

_The first time two of them took her at the same time, feeling alone and dirty, she asked the guard for a shower._

_She didn't ask again._

* * *

_As the days went on she became thinner, nauseous and tired._

_Then one day she felt something. Something she could not even describe._

_A sudden spark , a feeling , a knowledge... a certainty_

_She was pregnant._

_She wept._

* * *

_She tried to shut off her mind from her life._

_But occlumency could only do so much._

_She shut out the hours spent in the yard._

_And whatever visits the guards paid to her cell._

_But when she was alone , she cupped her stomach and talked to the life there._

_For hours and hours she would just softly whisper._

_Speaking of Hogwarts, where she grew up, her friends._

_She liked to think it was keeping her sane._

_But maybe it was making her more crazy._

* * *

_She didn't know how they found out._

_Whether a guard had suspected , having heard her whispers_

_Or one of the inmates said something._

_But about a week after her realisation, she was taken to the hospital wing once more._

* * *

_When she awoke on the floor of her cell , aching and throbbing in pain._

_Sticky with blood and sweat , as she peeled herself from the pool of blood she was laid in._

_She traced the scar on her stomach._

_The spark was gone._

_She wept , until she had no more tears to give._

* * *

_The next day she went straight to the 4th lifer._

_He simply nodded and went back to his meal and told her to sit by him._

_When the other lifers came, he didn't react._

_When they tried to grab her arm , he told them to stop._

_When they ignored him , he stood and grabbed the man by the hair._

_And snapped his neck with one move._

_The other two backed away._

_The guards took the body._

_And he sat down and carried on eating._

_She wondered just what she'd gotten herself into._

* * *

_He came to her cell that night , and the guards let him in._

_She'd thought about it , thought about changing her mind after what she'd seen._

_But in the end he'd taken what he wanted from her and thanked her, even as she vomited on the floor._

_When she took the vial he gave her , she didn't know what to expect._

_But it was everything she could have hoped for._

_When she took it , she simply ceased to be._

_She didn't fight him anymore, but she still cried._

_Until the vial took her away._

* * *

_There was unease among the guards._

_Whispers and rumours._

_Something about a prisoner release , someone on the outside pushing for it and causing waves._

_She didn't care anymore._

_Let them talk._

_Then one night three guards came into her cell._

_They hadn't expected her to be released._

_Now they were afraid of what she might say._

_Each of them could be incriminated in assaulting her._

_They had all raped her at some point._

_So they told her that she was being released in a couple of days._

_And threatened her not to say anything about any of them._

_Then to make sure she remembered, they cut out her tongue with a knife._

* * *

_Her number 4 had been furious when he found out what they'd done._

_He enjoyed having her on her knees, he tried to take her mouth but it wasn't doing it for him without her tongue._

_So he sodomised her instead._

_When they went into the yard , he found one of the three guards and castrated him with a shiv._

_She should've been angry , frightened and so many other things._

_But he gave her a vial, so_ _she just didn't care._

* * *

_Then finally an auror came , to escort her back to Hogwarts._

_And he'd vomited when he saw her._

_It had taken 5 guards to stun number 4 long enough to get her away from him._

_He hadn't been happy._

_She felt ashamed , and afraid because of that she wished she had another vial._

_Better to feel nothing._

_Better to be nothing._

_Because one thing was certain._

_She wasn't Hermione Granger anymore._

* * *

 

**_AN / That's the end of our Azkaban Ordeal , next chapter will return to present tense._ **

**_Thank you all for sticking with it !_ **

**_Love Ems x_ **

**_PLEASE_ **

**_PLEASE_ **

**_REVIEW !_ **


	43. Chapter 43

**AN : We're now back in the present , thank you to everyone who stuck with us !**

* * *

He held her in silence for a long time , he didn't know quite what to say.

So he chose to show his feelings through actions. He held her tight to him and kissed her hair , stroked her arms and did whatever he could to soothe her.

He showed her he was not disgusted by her , or angry at her , as he refused to let go of the witch in his arms.

As she spoke he'd become angrier and angrier and it had taken all of his power to hold onto his rage.

Name after name had been ingrained into his memory.

The death eaters , guards , prisoners that had hurt her.

Along with those that had tried to help.

He was surprised at Lucius , though not entirely.

There was some good in the man , there always had been.

He'd been head boy and always stood up for Severus when he could.

The Dark Lord was obviously planning a mass break out, starting by moving them into the less guarded lower levels.

Severus was beginning to get concerned how long it had been since he'd been summoned , but Voldemort had been silent since the ministry attack , seemingly withdrawing to lick his wounds.

* * *

She'd not wanted to speak to him any more after she'd finished her revelation , preferring to sit quietly with him.

He didn't object , this whole situation was horrendous and he would do whatever he could to make things easier for her.

Though they had planned to have the day free, as he looked at her he realised that maybe she didn't need someone pandering to her , but would prefer something to occupy her mind, rather than her thoughts.

"Would you care to discuss the planning of the book we are to be working on ? I think it would be prudent to show you the first potion I wish to include and we can discuss the ways in which your images can be used with it ?"

It had been the right deciscion. She gave him a soft smile and nod , and he encouraged her to sit on the sofa with him as he summoned some parchment and a tea service.

"It always annoyed me how potions textbooks are laid out so randomly , when it would make much more sense for them to be laid out in order of the curriculum"

She nodded as he gestured to some paperwork in front of him.

"I thought it would be a much better idea to order the book as the students will use it , the first part for the first year , second part for second year and so on"

She was nodding in agreement.

"That way we don't have students in every year having to turn back and forth through the book to find the relevant information"

"Turn to page 394" His eyes snapped to hers and there was a small smile on her face when she said it.

He raised an eyebrow

"Indeed"

* * *

The rest of the day was spent outlining the first chapter of the book , which would be the first potions for the first year.

He spoke of what he had in mind , and she made some quick sketches , and even made some suggestions.

"What if instead of putting directions on each page, or at the beginning, that we had a separate smaller booklet that showed techniques and methods?"

He raised an eyebrow, secretly pleased with the participation she was showing.

"Split into two books , would that not be too cumbersome for students ?"

"It wouldn't be any more information than we already planned to provide"

"But surely it would be easier to have it all in one book ?"

"I don't think so , no"

He regarded her then.

"Explain."

"Well...think about it this way. You're a first year student working on a potion in class , that requires you to skin shrivelfigs, lets say"

He nodded and gestured for her to continue

"But you don't know how to skin shrivelfigs, so you need to go look at the diagram showing you how to do it..."

"Your point being?"

"It would look too bulky to have the methods and instructions diagrams on the page of every potion , when there will already be diagrams to show how the ingreidents and finished potion should look"

"A fair point , which I believe I already conceded , but this is why we had discussed having a section dedicated to methods in the front of the book"

"Yes but think about it , if you're working on a potion you don't know from a recipe in a book , and you don't know the method, you would have to keep skipping from the page with the recipe to the page with the method diagram"

He nodded and she continued.

"It would waste time, it takes your concentration off what you're doing and you risk ruining your book if you have ingredients on your hand or desk"

She was right, it was all true.

"It would make more sense to have two separate books open to the relevant page, than having to flick back and forth in one larger book while trying to also concentrate on your work"

She held her breath as he stroked his finger over his lips in silence.

"Miss Granger, I believe...you are correct."

Her breath came out in a gasp and she smiled at him.

"I concur, When we are talking about use in a practical setting, it would be much easier to have a guidebook of techniques in addition to a recipe book , rather than one large tome containing it all"

"Though I suggest we also produce a complete tome for people who wish to purchase the book as a point of reference, that way we appeal to both students and individuals"

As she was nodding in agreement with him , he couldn't help but flash her a smile and hug her gently.

"That's a very good and well thought out idea Hermione , I'm impressed"

The smile she returned was the biggest one she'd given him as she returned the hug with interest.

* * *

He'd regretfully said goodbye to her the night before, he would've preferred to have her by his side once more but the headmaster was adamant that she return to the tower incase Potter needed her for anything.

But he was grateful they'd had the forethought to take her out of lessons today , as she was fragile and raw after rehashing her time in Azkaban, and the last thing she needed was to be overwhelmed by the students.

Sat at the head table he watched her as she sat quietly between the longbottom boy and the weasley curr , and poked at her breakfast.

She still wasn't eating enough and he'd have to have words with her about it.

There was an increase in chatter as the post owls came in , but he ignored it.

He couldn't however ignore the sudden silence that spread throughout the hall , nor the feeling of utter panic emanating from his bond with Hermione, before a sudden chill as her occlumency shields were forced dangerously high.

Looking up he saw most of the school staring at Hermione.

She was staring at the paper in her hands with a look of utter devastation , before it was quickly replaced with a blank look as her occlumency took hold.

Quickly grasping his copy of paper he felt his heart plummet as he looked at the front page of the daily prophet.

It was Hermione's Azkaban Photo.

* * *

**AN: I hope you're all happy to be back in the present**

**Please let me know your thoughts.**


	44. Chapter 44

_Looking up he saw most of the school staring at Hermione._

_She was staring at the paper in her hands with a look of utter devastation , before it was quickly replaced with a blank look as her occlumency took hold._

_Quickly grasping his copy of paper he felt his heart plummet as he looked at the front page of the daily prophet._

_It was Hermione's Azkaban Photo._

* * *

_fuck fuck FUCK_

How had this happened ?

It was Rita Skeeter of course , the woman could smell a story from a mile away , and this was one hell of a story.

He skimmed the page quicky and his stomach dropped even further.

 _Everything_  was there , everything that had happened to her.

Though it had been twisted to make her the villain of the piece.

She'd been portrayed as a dangerous trouble maker , that had been arrested for a vicious assault on a ministry worker.  
But had later been released on a technicality.

It talked of her devious and traitorous friendship with Lucius Malfoy and other death eaters , to raise her status and provide protection.

How she was offering sexual favours to guards and prisoners in exchange for preferential treatment.

It spoke of her exchanging sex to feed her illegal potions habit , and even spoke of the fact that she'd pushed for a hasty hush hush abortion in the prison hospital due to a pregnancy from an unknown father, that couldn't be traced as there were simply too many possibilities , even mentioning it had gone badly wrong and she was now unable to have children.

It was as effective a smear campaign as he could imagine.

Her reputation would be ruined , and the others would know the truth.

The photograph didn't lie.

With a sickening lurch he turned to Dumbledore.

The man looked furious.

* * *

He knew that he needed to do something , and his role of spy could go hang as far as he was concerned.

The girl hadn't moved , she'd thrown her shields so high she was going to hurt herself.

The students around her moved back with a gasp in panic as the temperature around the girl plummeted dramatically.

They could see their breath in the air.

Her magic was held back with the cuffs, he'd have been worried about another seizure but the cold from her occlumency was breaking free and her there was frost beginning to form on the table around her.

Minerva and Poppy had jumped up , and he'd vaulted over the head table instead of going the long way around , much to the suprised gasps of the students.

When he got to the girl he grabbed her face and saw the colour draining from her eyes , and instantly knocked her out with a spell before she could continue to damage her mind.

Throwing the girl over his shoulder in a firemans lift , he carried her out of the hall and towards the hospital wing.

Poppy followed and Minerva barked at Potter and Weasley to go with her to her office.

* * *

They took her into Poppy's private office , and warded the hell out of it.

Then once Poppy had removed her cuffs, he rennervated her and threw up a shield around poppy.

Her magic exploded from her with a power of epic magnitude , and thrashed around the room , freezing cold water spun in vicious arcs around them.

She was panting in panic , unable to catch her breath and desperately trying to throw back up her occlumency shields.

He pulled her into his arms, and joined her mind through their bond, preventing her from putting the shields up.

" _P-please_ "

The broken plea made his heart ache and his blood boil.

"You can't , you'll damage your mind , stay with me Little one"

"I c-can't "

"You can and you will , we will get through this together"

She broke down in his arms , her head buried in his chest and she began to sob.

Harsh broken sobs as her legs gave out from under her.

He didn't fight it, or try to hold her up.

Instead he sank to the floor with her , and just held onto her while she fell to pieces.

* * *

The girl had finally stopped sobbing , he didn't know how long he'd held her for , crumpled there on the floor.

Though he knew it had been hours.

She'd cried herself out and was now just holding onto him , occasionally whimpering.

God he wanted to tear that woman apart.

There was a knock on the door , and Poppy nervously went to get it.

He'd thought it would be Minerva, but when Filius walked in he was suprised.

"How is she ?"

He snorted and the girl said nothing.

"Yes...well , stupid question I suppose"

She fisted her hands tighter in his robes, she was clung so closely too him it was as if she was trying to get under his skin.

"I came to warn you...Albus intends to send her back up to Gryffindor tower tonight"

"You can't be serious!"

"I'm afraid I am... he was so angry , ranting and raving of which we've never seen the like and then suddenly he just stopped, and his face became serene like the man we used to know , only his eyes were different...then he simply said it was no matter, that she could have a sick day today and to make sure she got up to the tower before curfew and that he had some work to do"

The girl began shaking in his arms once more so he pulled her closer to him.

"This is madness Filius, he can't expect her to go there tonight , she shouldn't be here at all"

"I agree, Severus but my hinds are tied. If one thing good has come from this , it's that many of the staff were questioning his erratic behaviour"

He sighed , his hands were tied.

Though he wished he could just scoop her up and apparate away with her.

"Potter & Weasley?"

"Minerva took them to her office, she's told them the truth, they'll be there at Gryffindor tower to meet her tonight"

Hissing through his teeth he snapped

"Has she considered that is the last thing that Hermione needs right now ? A confrontation?"

There was only a sad look from Filius.

"She did Severus, Albus wanted her to see them tonight...In case Mr. Potter had any questions"

He could do nothing but growl in responce , and pull the girl closer.

* * *

He managed to keep her there with him for the rest of the day.

Despite his efforts she would not eat , and only managed a weak tea.

She didn't let go of him at all , and had taken to following him around silently once more.

She worried the cravat she still wore dissillusioned at her wrist , but he knew she really wanted to scratch them instead.

He was afraid of her relapsing , he knew at a time like this the temptation would be great.

So he made sure to have Poppy tell Minerva , to put extra wards on the tower against certain potions for the time being.

The Gryffindor girls would just have to get what they needed in the hospital wing for now.

* * *

Now he knew what it felt like to have the cuffs on , it sickened him every time they put them on her.

She just cried quietly and didn't fight it.

It pained him to see her so defeated , so different from the girl who'd argued her corner about their book not a day before.

The beast inside was howling , foaming at the mouth , wanting to maim and tear.

He wanted to take her and hide her and never let her go.

But he couldn't.

So instead he walked her to the tower and let her go once more.

When she turned her back on him and walked through the portrait , it felt like he was sending her to the gallows.

And his heart along with her.

* * *

That night the heads of house called and emergency meeting, they communicated with their rings and met in the room of requirement.

They all agreed that something must be done , and that they would all need to be on top of the students.

Any mockery , or attacks of any kind on the girl were to be met with zero tolerance.

Detentions, Point loss and threat of expulsion if the case were bad enough.

Poppy was to monitor her , and make sure she didn't have access to any painkilling or sedative type potions, and that any other gryffindors who might bring them to her, were to only take potions in the hospital wing.

It was a shit show , but they had to do what they could.

It'd been agreed to bring in someone from the Order on the issue of Dumbledore's instability , someone not tied to the school or to Harry and Ron.

So they'd agreed that Shacklebolt would be the best option.

Minerva had known him longest and would send him a patronus.

Things were about to change at Hogwarts.

Big things.

And they were all uneasy because of it.

* * *

**AN: Please Review!**


	45. Chapter 45

_It'd been agreed to bring in someone from the Order on the issue of Dumbledore's instability , someone not tied to the school or to Harry and Ron._

_So they'd agreed that Shacklebolt would be the best option._

_Minerva had known him longest and would send him a patronus._

_Things were about to change at Hogwarts._

_Big things._

_And they were all uneasy because of it._

* * *

He'd gone to Dumbledore that night, he and the other members of staff after their meeting, had nervously gone to his office, hoping they could make him see sense.

It was futile , the man was just smiling as though he was humouring a small child, when they all tried to plead Hermione's case.

Severus stood in the office , seething with anger and resentment for this man who was just as much the master of his puppet strings as the other.

Even Fawkes was looking on miserably , looking rougher than Severus had ever seen him. The bird sat morosely on his stand, instead of being up to his usual playful antics or singing.

Albus had twinkled along merrily seemingly unconcerned, and then as sudden as anything it was like he was having a different conversation with them about Harry Potter needing to be prepared.

"Prepared for what Headmaster?"

Then it had been about hunts , but not headless hunts, and Snakes that aren't Slytherins, Wands that don't choose the wizard and so on into more randomness they could not begin to follow.

Severus met Fawkes eye and he saw for a brief moment the bird sent him a pleading look , then ruffled his feathers. There was a light breeze in the room , almost as if someone had opened a window, and it blew the headmasters sleeve just slightly to the side. Only slightly , but enough.

"Headmaster, what is wrong with your hand... you've been cursed !"

The look on his face was no longer friendly , but set in steel.

"It's of no matter Severus , merely a old mans foolishness"

"Like hell it is , let me see-"

He'd made to approach the headmaster only to stop when he felt a wand at his throat.  
The other heads of house had gasped at his actions.

A part of Severus broke. Any respect he'd held for the man, any lingering trace of loyalty was gone at the feel of the mans wand pressed in his neck.

"You forget your place Severus, I  _order_  you to stop"

He met the mans eyes and offered him a tight nod as the pain of having to maintain the facade of the oath fell upon him. The wand was dropped and he took a step back. The other heads were still speechless at his cavalier treatment of the man by their side. The headmaster however bounced once more into his jovial attitude , and continued speaking about the next hogsmede weekend as the staff looked among themselves with concern.  
Hands fisted by his sides he was momentarily shocked when Minerva's hand held onto his , and Pomona's placed on his lower back, both obscured by his robes.  
He hadn't realised that he was holding back tears of betrayl, but he was grateful for the unspoken support.

* * *

When they stepped out of the room, they once more made their way to the room of requirement. Each taking a seperate route that the castle provided them.

It seemed that even Hogwarts itself was concerned with it's leader.

When they all reached the room of requirement, the only room in Hogwarts that the headmaster could not spy on , they met each other with a stony silence.

"Well , what do you think , is it enough ?"

A disillusioned Kingsley Shacklebolt appeared in front of them.

"I would not have believed it , had I not seen it for myself , I am still shocked that the man did not notice my presence"

"Any ideas on what's wrong with his hand Severus...that looked like dark magic , _very_  dark magic" Filius questioned.

He scrubbed his face with his hands before answering.

"It was dark magic , darkest magic , there are few people with the strength to wield such magic."

"But how could he have come in contact with it , could it be what's causing his behaviour ?" Pomona questioned worriedly.

"There's certainly the chance , curses like that corrupt , it may be in his hand now but how long until it spreads..."

"There's another thing" Severus added , and waited until he had the attention of the room.

"Did you see Fawkes ? It was he who caused the movement that showed me the headmasters arm"

There were a few concerned looks.

"Yes I did , he seemed so dejected...he's such a vain bird , I've not seen him look so bedraggled before" Minerva added.

Pomona suddenly looked to Severus with a exclamation.

"He's way overdue a burn day... I know because I usually get given the ashes as they help the plants grow, but there's been none for months now"

Filius squeaked in

"Could it be whatever dark magic is affecting Albus , is affecting Fawkes too ? he is the mans familiar..."

"...and dark magic corrupts" Severus rubbed his lips in consideration.

"No , I think not"

"But how can you be certain Severus ?" Shacklebolt chimed in.

"Phoenixes are the very embodiment of good , of healing. If Fawkes was being affected by dark magic then the first thing he would do is have a burning day...no this is something else"

"And what of the tears ? Why has Fawkes not given Albus tears, they would heal the dark magic surely ?"

They all made murmurs of agreement until Severus said something that made their blood run cold.

"Unless he was found unworthy of being saved"

None could say anything more after that.

* * *

They were waiting for her in the common room , both sat stonily on the sofa looking into the fire.

She had thought for a moment they might come to her, but that was not to be the case.

Nervously she made her way to the boys , and sat in the free chair. All the while feeling like her heart might beat its way out of her chest.

Still unable to form words to them , she waited.

"You lied to me"

Harry was the first to speak.

"But what I don't know is were you lying to me then, or are you lying to me now"

Her hurt filled gaze met his angry green eyes for the first time.

Ron cleared his throat.

"Mcgonnagol said it's not like they said it in the papers...that they twisted it , to make it look worse than it was"

Swallowing she nodded.

"But you were there , in Azkaban , with those death eaters"

Pulse racing she nodded once more.

Then Harry turned to her.

"Mcgonnagol said some stuff. But Malfoy...Lucius Malfoy ? "

She blanched at that but didn't look away.

"He didn't _force_  you to do anything did he?"

Once more, she shook her head no.

"But you had sex with him ?"

She froze and sent him a distressed look but didn't answer.

But It was all the answer he needed.

He stood up sneering.

"I don't want to hear this , I don't want to hear any of this"

Turning his back on her for a final time , he walked away and she was shocked when she saw Neville and Seamus in the doorway.

Both looking at her like they didn't know her.

Her chest constricted to see Neville looking at her that way. Before Harry and Ron, he'd been her first friend.

He turned and followed Harry to the boys dorms , along with Seamus.

Ron looked at her , confused and angry.

"I know there's probably more to it , Azkaban's a pretty rough place , but Malfoy?...I just...I just can't right now Mione , I'm sorry"

With that her other friend turned and walked away from her.

* * *

 

 

Once she found the strength to scale the stairs to the girls dormitory, It didn't surprise her to find her things had been tampered with.

Mcgonnagol had personally warded her bed , as Hermione was without magic she didn't want anyone suprising the witch in her sleep.

Unfortunately she hadn't warded her possessions.

The galleons she had in her bag were gone , and all her pyjamas had been transfigured into very slutty looking babydolls. Her whole bag had been coated in cheap perfume to the point in made her eyes water.

They'd poured milk on her schoolbooks , she could dry them out but they would stink.

Having no way to change her nightclothes back without magic , she just got into bed in her robes. 

Crookshanks was waiting for her , and sat himself in her lap.

She buried her head in her hands and fought the urge to bury herself in her shields and never come out.

The only thing that kept her going was the distant feeling of Severus's worry through the bond.

At least she knew that one person cared about her.

 

Even if nobody else did.

* * *

**AN: Please review , and let me know how it's going :)**


	46. Chapter 46

_She buried her head in her hands and fought the urge to bury herself in her shields and never come out._

_The only thing that kept her going was the distant feeling of Severus's worry through the bond._

_At least she knew that one person cared about her._

_Even if nobody else did._

* * *

Hermione was unaware of what was going on behind the scenes , the plotting of the order and the heads of house as they tried to gather what they could to depose the headmaster of his position. She was focused only on trying to survive her life day to day.

The majority of the school saw her as a villain, a traitor of the worst type.

All of Gryffindor & Hufflepuff were especially vile to her, and shunned her at best , abused her at worst.

The Ravenclaws were smart enough to not blindly trust the papers, but also smart enough to know that approaching her would be tantamount to social suicide.

The Slytherins were no worse than they always had been , apart from 2 that was.

Draco and Gregory, the sons of her family men.

It made her want to weep.

Still, they were not her friends. But they did not mock her , insult her or hurt her.

They were either coolly cordial, or pretended she did not exist , both of which she was thankful for.

Her actions at Azkban had forced the men to form their own opinions , and not just regurgitate the vitriol learned from their fathers. After she'd given her food to Lucius when the others had pissed in his , and after she'd taught the elder Goyle to read and write, it seems it had shook the family men's beliefs deeply. They'd promised to speak to their sons , and it seemed they had.

Though both boys occasionally gave her looks that suggested they would like to approach her more openly , neither could afford to.

Ignoring her could be explained away, befriending her could not.

Wellever the Dark Lord lived, the boys would have to keep their distance.

Though the haunted looks the boys sometimes exchanged with her broke her heart , they were the looks of frightened and friendless children...simply wishing for a friend they could trust. Yet they were living in the serpents den.

The staff did what they could to protect her, but they could not be with her all the time , so still her life was hell.

She would not have made it as long as she did if it was not for Luna.

Sweet, mad, brilliant, Luna.

She would sit beside her at meals as though nothing was wrong , Ignoring the mass exodus of students wherever Hermione was, as though the other students thought she was contagious or at the very least would be condemned through assosciation

The elfin ravenclaw would carry on one sided conversations with the girl who was still too traumatised to talk to anyone but Severus.

Not once did Luna ask her about azkaban or anything to do with it , nor did she try to touch her or do anything else to make her uncomfortable.

It was perfection for Hermione, she didn't care if the girl spoke of Nargles or crumple horned Snorkacks...she was a true friend and it made Hermione ashamed.

So ashamed that one day she tearfully said her only words to the other girl. "I'm s-sorry I called you Loony on the boat"

With a serene smile the girl had answered, "That's alright Hermione, I don't mind"

And off she went carrying on about some thing or another , as Hermione simply thanked all the gods for giving her Luna and promised herself she would never take her friend for granted again.

* * *

Every day she broke down in Severus's arms within the hospital walls.

She found her favourite place to be was when they were both standing , and he would wrap her in hug and wrap his robes around her , shielding her from the world.

She would press her face to his chest and listen to his heartbeat and smell the scent of him. It truly was like being held by a great bat. And she loved it.

Each time he held her brought her comfort , though each time it was harder and harder to leave him.

Every time she left him it felt like she was leaving a part of herself behind.

She thought of her grandfather , who still got pains in his foot...after they'd amputated his leg. When Severus was not with her, neither was her heart. But it hurt her anyway.

The beast in her chest whined and howled as the one in his roared and raged. Both distressed at being forced apart , when all they wanted to do was be together.

* * *

The first time Severus had been summoned after the daily prophet article , he'd been questioned by Voldemort about his actions and his apparent desire to help her.

The smart man had managed to persuade them all that his actions had been out of fear for the other students surrounding her , fear of what damage she may do the various pure and half blood children surrounding her.

He'd pulled through by the skin of his teeth , but he'd been crucioed to help him remember not to do anything that would make it look like he even remotely favoured the gryffindors or mudbloods.

Then he'd been hexed once more though he wasn't sure what for , as the man was even more insane than Dumbledore.

He didn't need a reason to crucio his followers. If he wanted to , then he did.

Once more , he gained nothing useful for the order from the ramblings of the madman , simply had to watch his brothers that were not incarcerated as they tortured and killed two muggles.

When he'd managed to get back to Hogwarts he dropped his shields and immediately panicked when he could not feel Hermione.

He began running as soon as Poppy's patronus appeared , telling him to come to her as Hermione was in the hospital wing.

He'd arrived to a stupefied Hermione , and before he could berate the mediwitch Minerva had stepped in.

"I stupefied her Severus , she was frantic , she was going to hurt herself trying to get to you "

His protestations died in his mouth as he regarded the witch.

"Were you...did he torture..crucio you tonight?" Followed quickly by "Merlin what have our lives come to if that is a question I have to ask you"

Too pent up with worry and emotion to answer , he simply nodded. His muscles still screamed in agony with the after effects of the curse.

"We thought as much... I don't think she felt it , but she sensed it , your pain...she was so panicked ... I got her here and we got the cuffs off before she hurt herself but she nearly destroyed half the wing , she wanted to apparate, to find you , we had to stupefy her before she hurt herself or someone else ."

Turning to the pale witch on the sofa , he saw the tear tracks down her face and the look of anguish frozen on her expression.

Minerva and Poppy left to give him some privacy and Wordlessly he cast a rennervate.

* * *

Her eyes snapped open and she jumped from the sofa , seemingly ready to fight or run , until she saw him .

She took in his trembling sweating form and cried out in dismay as she ran to him and pulled him to her arms.

Each time he went before the Dark Lord , he knew he risked his life.

This was the first time he'd been truly afraid of losing it.

Afraid of not coming back to her.

When her arms wrapped round him , he gave in .

Dropping to his knees in front of her his shields fell completely as he cried out his pain, worry and fear as he pressed his face into her belly., wrapped his arms around her waist and sobbed.

Her magic and mind touched his , as though she was embracing him with both of those as well as her body.

She shushed him and stroked his hair and hummed to him , and never once let go.

When he had cried himself out , she'd gently tugged on him to get him to stand , and he'd done so.

Once standing he didn't take his eyes off her face as she gave him a watery smile and ran her hands softly over his face , his cheeks , his eyes and his lips , as though reassuring herself he was truly there in one piece.

When she had traced all of his features, even his nose, she tucked his hair behind his ears and stood on tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his forehead , the another on his cheeks , one on his nose and finally a soft kiss on his lips that stopped his heart.

When she pulled back she looked deeply into his eyes and he into hers.

Then he leant down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was sweet , soft and chaste. It lasted longer than their first but never became rushed or too much.

When he pulled back from the kiss she smiled at him.

There were no words that needed to be said.

Then he'd pulled her into his arms and wrapped his robes around her for the first time.

It had been that first time that cemented in her mind, that this was her favourite place in the world to be.

* * *

**AN: Please review , and let me know if you're still with me.**

**Interesting to see some of your guesses on what's happening , but no-ones got it right yet .**


	47. Chapter 47

_When he pulled back from the kiss she smiled at him._

_There were no words that needed to be said._

_Then he'd pulled her into his arms and wrapped his robes around her for the first time._

_It had been that first time that cemented in her mind, that this was her favourite place in the world to be._

* * *

It had been over two weeks since the release of the article and Harry still ignored her, that hurt her deeply, though it was less painful than the fact that Neville was still avoiding her.

Harry and Ron were quick to temper , and there'd been many falling out between the trio over the years , for some reason or another.

Neville had been her first friend, two lonely children on the train, months before she Harry, and Ron became friends.

Though he would not be cruel to her , nor did he make any attempt to be kind either.  _It hurt._

The separation from Severus was painful. She could barely sleep or eat , and all she wanted to do was be in his arms.

She wanted to be in his arms, in his rooms, sat reading and drinking tea together as they discussed their book.

She didn't want the only time they were to be together, when one was being comforted by the other in the hospital wing.

Sleep avoided her and she looked like hell because of it , Severus was not faring much better.

The staff were all giving her worried looks apart from the headmaster.

He and Harry were constantly having these private 'Lessons' where harry would go off for hours and the Headmaster was getting angrier and angrier over her distance from Harry. At times she caught him glaring at her through the dining hall , for having the audacity to not follow Harry around and see to his every whim.

Apart from the steadfast friend she had in Luna , who cared not about being ostracised for spending time with Hermione , as she had always been treated as such...there was one small improvement, if you could call it that.

Ron was talking to her. Well , not so much talking to her as asking her to help with his homework again. The definition of  _help_  being that she'd write the whole thing for him and he'd copy it in his handwriting.

She did it willingly , ready to take any scraps off attention that the boys would give her , if only it meant that she would not be so alone in the lions den that was Gryffindor tower , where neither Luna or Severus could come.

* * *

She'd been morosely sipping her pumpkin juice at breakfast when Luna had asked out of the blue.

"Are you sad because you miss professor snape?"

She'd snorted on her juice and nearly choked while Luna had just watched on serenely.

With wide eyes she'd begged Luna with a gaze to say just exactly what that meant.

"Only your aura's match up , and you're both so sad when you're away from each other , your auras are dark and gloomy. If you're bonded it really would make more sense for you to be together and happy, than separate and sad don't you think?"

Shaking her head in disbelief at the girl's casual acceptance she fought the tears from her eyes as she nodded in responce to her question.

"He misses you too, you know ? His aura reaches out to yours when you're close by , and he gets angry at the others that upset you , I think he'd like to do more but is being held back , he seems like the protective type"

Once more she'd got the nail on the head as Hermione sniffed and nodded.

* * *

Her mind was conflicted when she met with Severus.

She wanted more than anything to be close to him, would bury herself under his skin if she could and was pretty sure he'd let her.

But the new development was that she loved to kiss him. The chaste kisses they shared made her heart swell within her chest.

But parts of her was at war with herself.

While the beast in her chest , the ID , the primal side of her screamed that  _yes , this is the one, he's the other half , be together , be with him , make yourself whole._

Another part inside of her , the terrified girl , screamed at her too. Though that part said ,  _he's a grown man , he's male with male thoughts and desires, he could hurt you if you let him go any farther, keep your distance._  
Though at the same time, the broken part of her wanted to know that he did desire her, that he could desire her. That after everything she'd been through, she could still be desirable to him.

He must have picked up on something in her behaviour , because he pulled her to the sofa and knelt in front of her. It was a habit he'd picked up to make her more comfortable , by making himself appear smaller.

"If you don't wish to kiss me Hermione, you don't have to. You always have a choice"

Stroking his cheek with her hand she answered in a small voice that she'd didn't mind kissing him , she enjoyed it , it was just other things that she was afraid of.

"I swear to you Hermione , I will always respect your body and your choices , I will NEVER do anything to you without your consent , I would never hurt you like that I promise "

"But you'd like to...with me ?" Her question was nervous and she couldn't look at him as she said it.

He tipped her chin up with his finger , until she was meeting his eyes.

"One day, when you're ready , I would very much like to be one with you Hermione, for I do desire you very much, though I will never do anythihng you don't want me to , and that day will be only when you wish it "

She'd smiled softly then and pulled him up on the sofa where she'd kissed him softly once more.

* * *

Turns out , that doing Ron's homework was the key to her safety in Gryffindor Tower.

More boys started bringing her homework , and in turn though they most definitely couldn't be called friends , the bullying within her house common room all but stopped.

For Hermione , it was bliss as she'd paticularly hated it when she felt trapped in Gryffindor with some of the boys hurling abuse at her. Though the girls were more vicious, it was men she was afraid of.

The longer she could stay in her common room , the better as far as she was concerned. She hated being enclosed in the turret room that was the girls dorm , and unlike the boys , the girls remained cruel and vicious , despite her actions. She ended up doing Lavendar and Pavartis work for them , because they threatened her if she didn't.

Eventually Ron managed to get Harry to speak to her , if only to ask her to do an assignment for him.

It was then that she'd discovered an errant piece of parchment with the work he'd left her.

On it was scribbled one word , over and over as though he'd been running it around in his mind.

That one word that made her blood run cold.

And there it was in Harry's messy scrawl.

**Horcrux(s) ?**


	48. Chapter 48

_It was then that she'd discovered an errant piece of parchment with the work he'd left her._

_On it was scribbled one word , over and over as though he'd been running it around in his mind._

_That one word that made her blood run cold._

_And there it was in Harry's messy scrawl._

_**Horcrux(s) ?** _

* * *

She didn't know if he'd meant for her to see it , it was a small scrap of parchment and stuck to another because the ink had been wet when he shoved it in his bag.

It was quite possible that he hadn't even known he'd given in to her.

Was this what his meetings with the Headmaster were about ? Was this the key to destroying Voldemort ?

But Horcrux ** _(s)?_**  Potentially plural? as in More than one ?

This wasn't good.

This wasn't good at all.

She knew what Horcruxes were and how they were made , thanks to a dark arts book she'd read when she was still living in Severus's quarters.

Severus... he'd know what to do.

Then she could be free of this... this half life, where they all saw her as damaged and dirty.

If Voldemort was defeated, she'd be free and so would Severus. She could leave Gryffindor tower and return to him, and they could spend the rest of their days writing and experimenting.

Placing her hands on her chest , as if to hold the thought close to her heart , she allowed a tear to break free.

This meant he was not indestructible, If his horcruxes were destroyed , then he could be killed.

Voldemort's behaviour certainly aligned with having fractured his soul to create a horcrux or two.

When a sudden thought clicked in her head , that made her shake with fear.

* * *

Hermione finished her work , or Harry's work to be more precise and returned it to him , without the piece of parchment with HORCRUX scribbled on it.

He didn't say anything , just scanned over the work and then nodded to her and walked away.

The breath she'd been holding released with a sigh, as she tried to hold in the hurt.

_He didn't even speak to me. Not one word._

She tried not to let it hurt.

But it did.

It answered the question on whether he knew the paper was there though , because he didn't look for it when she returned his work.

He'd obviously no clue she'd seen it.

She wanted to keep it that way.

* * *

When she went to see Severus in the hospital wing, she asked him and Poppy to call the other heads and Kingsley , that she had something to share, something important.

With a concerned look , Poppy had done just that as Severus pulled her into a tight hug.

When all the heads were in attendance, they made their way to the room of requirement.

The room who had suprisingly , at Hermione's behest, provided a hidden door in the hospital wing , that opened straight into the room of requirement.

Once the room was closed, Severus told them what she'd said to him during their embrace.

"Hermione believes she knows what Dumbledore's private lessons are about with Harry , and a potential way to bring down the dark lord, along with something else concerning. She found something in Mr. Potter's work"

Kingsley arched an eyebrow, but none of the heads questioned that she had been doing his work , they were not stupid and could tell that other students had been abusing the girl's nature to get their work done.  
All of them had agreed, if it would give her some measure of peace in the place where they could not defend her, then they would let it slide.

Turning to the blackboard the room had provided with a deep breath she began to write.

**"What do we know about Voldemort ?"**

Between her and the other staff , they added a few points , as the board began to fill.

  * _Extremely powerful_
  * _Was known for high intellect , now unstable_
  * _Was known for being Charming and persuasive_
  * _Magical familiar_
  * _Leader of vigilante group_
  * _Insane - Frequent lapses of sanity_
  * _Volatile_
  * _Prone to fits of anger_
  * _History of Dark arts_
  * _Controlling_
  * _Doesn't care who gets hurt in course of grand plan_
  * _Obsession with own house , unfairly placing above all others._
  * _Collects items belonging to house founder_



When the list was full , they all nodded their agreement.

When they all were focused on her, she began to Take a deep breath and she pulled out a piece of parchment.

She slapped it on the board , and with a sticking charm it stuck in place.

The word Horcrux only too clear.

Severus hissed and Kingsley let out an exclamation , "Merlin's beard"

As the other heads of house looked on in concern , each one become paler when Kingsley and Severus explained just what a horcrux was and what creating it entailed.

When they were all solemnly quiet , Hermione cleared her throat and they all looked at her.

Sharing a look with Severus , he spoke to the room.

"That is not all that Hermione wishes to share , she has come to another conclusion , that she intends to share with us now "

When all eyes were on her , she shakily reached for the eraser , rubbing out one word on the blackboard and replacing it with another , by the time she'd finished writing the word she was shaking with tears , Severus pulled her into his arms and to the dismay of the others surrounding her, he also burst into tears.

As the other staff caught a glimpse at her change , they all dropped heavily into chairs that the room provided.

And they all wept openly , apart from Kingsley who did his best to remain stoic.

**What do we know about** ~~_Voldemort_  ~~ **Dumbledore.**

* * *


	49. Chapter 49

_As the other staff caught a glimpse at her change , they all dropped heavily into chairs that the room provided._

_And they all wept openly , apart from Kingsley who did his best to remain stoic._

_**What do we know about** x-Voldemort-x  **Dumbledore.**_

* * *

After that revelation the staff didn't know what to think and most were sat in a sombre mood on the various chairs the room had provided.

Eventually though it was Severus that broke the silence.

"Well that's it , if it's Horcruxes then we know that the Dark Lord can be killed once and for all. We need to know how many he has and destroy them all"

"But how Severus ? How are we supposed to destroy a Horcrux? It's obvious Dumbledore is wanting Harry to destroy Voldemort's , but how can he?"

"He cannot , Potter does not even have half of the proficiency that Hermione does, along with the concentration span of a mountain troll and Albus is too blind to see it"

"Then if not Potter , who ? " Minerva added.

They all contemplated that for a moment and it was Hermione that spoke.

"Severus"

All eyes including his snapped to her, as she said one word.

"Patronus"

His face blanched and he swallowed , as Minerva regarded him with interest and the others looked on in curiosity.

"A patronus is definitely a strong spell of light magic , but it cannot destroy a horcrux , besides I though death eaters could not cast a patronus ?"

"Severus can" Minerva added , as she looked at him with all new eyes.

"He's also in possession of a rather unique patronus...one that may indeed be the answer to our problem"

He fought the urge to blush as all eyes were once more on him , he was not used to being the centre of attention...unless people were looking for someone to blame.

"Show them Severus"

Shifting from foot to foot awkwardly he was about to vehemently disagree as his defensive instincts kicked in, when a soft hand on his arm stopped him. Looking down to the girl at his side she smiled and nodded, which after a moment he returned.

Taking a deep breath , he closed his eyes and concentrated on the feel of the girl at his side, his soul mate, the other part of him as he held his arm around her waist.

"Expecto Patronum"

The flaming Timber Wolf flew from his wand with a strength he'd never felt before , and it loped around the room with a rumbling growl, the scent of smoke following in it's wake. The wolf ended up by Hermione where it stood beside her like a sentry and snarled at the others.

"Merlin's beard I've never seen anything like it !" Kingsley was awestruck

"Astounding absolutely astounding!" Filius was besotted and practically had tears in his eyes.

"Just look at it , part patronus , part Fiendfyre , It's a dichotomy of light and dark magic!"

Filius had moved closer to examine the Patronus and it continued to snarl. Only when he reached out as though to touch it, and in doing so got too close to Hermione for the wolf's liking, the patronus lifted it's lip and bared its teeth as it growled and snapped at the small charms master , causing a lick of fiendfyre to shoot from it's maw and singe his beard before he fell over.

"oomph !"

Severus was about to apologise for the actions of the wolf but the small wizard was not upset at all and continued spewing praise for the "FyrePatronus" as he'd dubbed it.

"This would definitely be strong enough to kill a Horcrux I'd wager! The FyrePatronus is a strong amalgamation of the two ultimate spells of light and dark magic. There's not a wizard alive I know that's capable of casting both Fiendfyre and a Patronus , let alone at the same time ! To be able to cast Fiendfyre usually means that one has succumbed to the call of the dark, which is the reason why death eaters can't cast the patronus charm"

All of the assembled witches and wizards were so pleased they'd figured out the way to destroy the Horcruxes , until Sprout spoke

"Well now the hard part begins " Sprout added , "We need to figure out what his Horcruxes are and how we can get hold of them , and do the same for Dumbledore"

* * *

After the last meeting the 'Mutiny' had , as Minerva had dubbed their collective group , things were becoming more and more difficult.

Though one thing was certain... the headmaster was losing the plot. Even students were beginning to whisper about the old man being more eccentric than usual.

Turning up to the great hall in wizarding pyjama robes could be laughed off as the old man's flamboyant style.

Sitting in the chair  _next to_  the headmasters seat and having a conversation with a long dead headmaster (that was not sat in the seat) could not so easily be overlooked.

The man had even taken 70 points from Slytherin from one poor 3rd year, who'd ended up in a duel with a Gryffindor boy who'd hexed him in the back.

Not only that , but the headmaster had separated the boys with a spell , that knocked the young snake arse over teakettle , while the Lions laughed at his misfortune.

Much to the Gryffindor's delight , they were only docked 20 points.

Seething Severus had tried to confront the man about his unfair treatment , stating this kind of blatant favouritism was likely to lose him more slytherins to the dark lord , the man had viciously spat at him "The Dark Lord is a cold unfeeling reptile , and  **all**  Slytherins are snakes".

It had been hard to hide the true hurt from his dismissal of his entire house and even Minerva had told the man it was harsh.

"Was it ? Oh dear , nevermind" And off he'd went , twinkling merrily.

Minerva and Severus exchanged a look , they needed to get this sorted . Quickly.

* * *

Hermione was thrilled that Ron was spending a little more time with her and showing her some attention.

She was still doing half the Gryffindor boys' work , and nearly all of Ron's.

But every day Ron was spending a little bit more time with her , talking to her a little when he got his work from her.

He kept asking her to come sit with him in the dorms where they could talk privately , but she hadn't wanted to , still nervous around men and wanting to stay in the room where she could at least keep an eye on Harry , as she watched her friend longingly from afar.

Then she'd had the confrontation with Harry.

It must have been something in the longing look that she gave him , when she was handing him his work.

Each time he would just nod, or grunt and each time she longed for him to just say a few words to her .

"Stop Looking at me like that ! You're always doing it "

She'd jerked back from him at the vitroil in is words , and the other students were watching the confrontation. She just wanted to disappear as tears burned in her eyes at his anger towards her.

"You're always looking at me like you're waiting for me to come to my senses and let you boss me around again, when it's you that should be begging for forgiveness! Even though what you did was unforgivable Hermione, you're literally sleeping with the enemy! Don't think I'm not stupid , I've seen you with Draco"

She froze at his words... _what was he talking about ?_

"Amazing , you fuck his father in Azkaban so you get special treatment , and suddenly Draco's being all nice to you at school , not insulting you or hexing you or anything that's he's done since...hmm always ? "

She was shaking her head now but he continued.

"So what is it Hermione ? Had enough of Daddy Dearest , and now you're working Draco for the same 'privelliges' to keep Slytherin off your back ? Or what else has he promised you ? What do you do , sneak off to see him on your way back from the hospital wing and give him a good shagging ? " he scoffed "That's if you even go there , it could all be just made up so that you can go see him"

"To be fair mate , you know she goes to the hospital wing , McGonnagol takes her there sometimes" Ron pointed out

"Doesn't matter , she's not there every time , how do we know she's not spending half that time shagging Malfoy , or maybe even Goyle ? He's been laying off her too"

Much to her horror a number of boys were looking like they were agreeing with Harry's words.

"We're not friends Hermione , Friend's don't fuck their friend's enemies , in  **any**  circumstances. I'd rather die than betray my friends by whoring myself out to the enemy for cushier treatment"

He snatched his work from her hands and looked down at her once more.

"We are not friends. We will never be friends. Not again , not after this. "

And he'd walked away from her.

Tears dripped down her face and the other boys were looking at her with disgust , she could see them weighing Harry's words and coming to the same conclusion as him. After all it was true in a way , the boys were laying off her...but only because their father's had asked them too. But they didn't know that , and they couldn't know that for the safety of the family men. So they saw what Harry saw. A whore.

Seamus stood and made his way over to her angrily. His cousin had been killed by death eaters last week.

She cringed back as he made as if to grab her , but Ron shoved him back.

"Back off mate"

The two stood toe to toe , but as Ron towered above him the other boy just scoffed and walked away.

Ron turned to her.

"Want to go someplace private Mione ?"

Looking around and the hate filled gazes around her, of her housemates and friends.  _Former_  friends. she nodded and let Ron lead her out of the room.

His look at the rest of the boys dared them not to follow.

She went without hesitation , no longer caring about watching after Harry.

There was nothing for her here anymore.

* * *

They sat in the boy's dorm , alone as she wiped her tears.

He placed his hand on her knee in support , he was doing that a lot lately and she had to fight her visceral reaction against it , afraid to offend the only person in her house that was talking to her.

He rubbed her knee gently and her stomach turned but she didn't say anything.

"Nice to get a bit of quiet eh?" He asked with his half a smile , and she nodded and smiled back.

"So I was thinking... I know Harry's been a dick and all , and that the skeeter probably twisted a lot of stuff , cos she's like that , but McGonnagol told us some stuff"

She fought the urge to flee , but stayed . It was the most the boy had said to her in weeks.

"So it's true that you're not a virgin anymore I guess...and that you can't have kids"

That hurt.

physically.emotionally. painfully.

it hurt.

But she just gulped and nodded , not wanting to offend him.

"That sucks " He said and she fought the urge not to laugh hysterically.

He shuffled closer to her , and she tensed.

"So I was thinking... "

That was the second time he'd said it , and she was wondering where he was going with this.

"So I was thinking maybe we could fool around a bit , have some fun you know ?" 

Her blood froze. As her heart went into hyperdrive.

She could feel Severus question through the bond, as he sensed her stress.

No. He couldn't be suggesting what she thought he was.

Oblivious to her reactions the boy continued

"I mean , you're not a virgin anymore and no one's going to want to marry you if you can't have kids one day... "

Her stomach clenched at that and she closed her eyes.

"So there's nothing to stop us having some fun, you know playing around..." From the way his hand moved from her knee to her thigh , it was clear to Hermione exactly what he meant.

"You could help me out because I want to be a good husband to my wife one day, but the girls at school are all virgins and they want to save that for marriage I guess...but you're not , so we could fool around and in exchange I could look out for you at school and in the tower, like earlier when I made Seamus back off you "

Her stomach was in her feet.

Her head hurt , her eyes ached and her heart was breaking.

It felt like every part of her body had ceased to work properly.

In an instant a sudden realisation came over her, a solution to all her problems, something she'd been trying to fight so hard.

As Ron's hand slipped up her thigh and under her skirt , she made her decision.

_This is all you'll ever be good for to them, you're damaged goods now , and that's all anyone will ever see you as anymore. This is the only way to get away from it all._

She knew what to do.

She'd done it before.

She closed Severus out of mind, ignoring his panic she sensed at her actions and she brought all her shields back up until her mind turned blissfully , dangerously quiet.

And then she turned to Ron.

* * *

**AN: Please review , and let me know what you think.**

**I've been hitting some serious writers block with NTSG  , and I hope it doesn't show.**

**I know where I want to get ,  I have a destination in mind , it's just the journey is a bit blurry.**


	50. Chapter 50

**_IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE TO ALL READERS_ **

**_THIS STORY IS ON THE VERGE OF BEING PUT ON HIATUS !_ **

**I am flattered and grateful for any reader who takes their time to review my stories , or PM me about them , something that I have always welcomed since day one.**

**However in light of the last chapter I have posted , I am seriously on the verge of putting this story on Hiatus.**

**I've had numerous reviews and people dropping out of this story over the last few chapters, especially the last one , despite the fact that I have warned and warned and warned people that this is a dark story.**

**I have always welcomed feedback , good or bad and have no issue with that .**

**But what's upset me the most is some of the frankly aggressive and insulting messages I've been receiving.**

**I've had messages from people telling me they're no longer following the story which is fine... I've had people call me a sadist , and people suggesting that the story is on par with a Snuff film , and numerous people suggesting that I have filled the story with "violence for the sake of violence" or something along those lines.**

**I will always welcome feedback on my work, both good and bad, but some of the messages I've received have been aggressive, insulting or aimed personally at me in a derogatory manner.**

**Constructive criticism is ok , messaging me and telling me that there's something wrong with me , or calling me demeaning names among other things is not .**

**If you would like to point out bad points in the story, you're welcome to do so.**

**If you would like to inform me that you're dropping out of the story , that's no problem**

**If you want to message me and discuss certain topics that are triggering for you , to get the thoughts of your chest , then you are welcome to as a number of people already have .**

**However I write dark stories as a release for a lot of problems in my head , from my own past experiences.**

**Logging on to a mailbox full of hate , is not conductive to writing and if you're going to message me just to spout hate , then please don't bother.**

**If it carries on this story will be put on Hiatus , or possibly abandoned along with my other two stories.**

**I am going to post the next chapter as it's already been written , but I am not sure when the next update will be if I log on once more to a inbox full of hate.**


	51. Chapter 51

**Thank you to all who've showed their support since my note, it's really been overwhelming.**

**I'm not going to abandon this story just yet , but I will say this once more.**

**_ This story is dark , all my stories are dark in some way. There will be triggering and taboo content. _ **

**_I write as a release. Things contained in this and my other stories are things I have endured personally , or have happened to friends I've met through support groups._ **

**_ if you do not like dark and triggering stories , then please jump ship now and do not message me abuse. _ **

**Imagine how I feel when people message me , saying they don't like the content and calling me a sadist , when I have to reply "Hang on a minute mate , you don't like reading it but _I know people who lived it_  , you have a choice and they didn't"**

**This story will be dark , but there will eventually be a happy ending**

* * *

_As Ron's hand slipped up her thigh and under her skirt , she made her decision._

_This is all you'll ever be good for to them, you're damaged goods now , and that's all anyone will ever see you as anymore. This is the only way to get away from it all._

_She knew what to do._

_She'd done it before._

_She closed Severus out of mind, ignoring his panic she sensed at her actions and she brought all her shields back up until her mind turned blissfully , dangerously quiet._

_And then she turned to Ron._

* * *

_His hand slips up her thigh and under her skirt._

_It's large and bulky , he's clumsy with it and has dirt under his nails and food on his shirt._

_**She made her decision.** _

_**.** _

_His eyes are dilated , and she can tell from the way he's sat that he's hard._

_His breathing is quick and his palms are sweating._

_His eyes flick from her thigh to her chest_

_**This is all you'll ever be good for anymore.** _

_._

_"You're not a virgin anymore...no one will want to marry you if you can't have kids"_

_Said so casually , and matter of fact as though this was stating a simple truth_

_As though it wasn't her whole life he was crushing in the palm of his hand._

_**You're damaged goods now** _

_._

_He smells like sweat , grass and broom polish._

_His fingers slip higher up her skirt , until they're brushing her underwear_

_**You know what to do , you've done it before** _

_._

_The scent of body odour and his dirty hands make her skin crawl,_

_Nothing like Severus's hands, clean hands, friendly hands...don't think about him._

_**She closed Severus out of her mind** _

_._

_He never asks what she wants , or waits for permission._

_He takes her silence as acceptance , despite knowing she has no voice to tell him no._

_With one phrase , pushed from her mind to his , she breaks the connection with Severus._

_**I love you Severus.** _

_._

_She brings her shields up high , too high... but it doesn't matter._

_It's blissfully quiet now and she doesn't want Severus to see what comes next._

_._

_Ron's eyes meet hers and he smirks , confident and arrogant._

_Like he thinks he's won._

_**He's won nothing. She is nothing. not anymore.** _

_._

* * *

Severus was panicking , he had felt Hermione's stress and upset through the bond.

He wished it was a uncommon thing for him to feel , but alas it was not , not while she was in Gryffindor tower with those imbeciles.

But that was not what was causing him concern.

Her panic had peaked , fear and loathing running through her and then ...nothing.

With a painful twist in his chest , he realised she'd raised her occlumency barriers. Fully.

Enough to damage her mind , enough to throw herself back behind her walls and never come out again.

The though terrified him , more than the last thought she'd pushed into his mind.

"I love you Severus"

He shot off his FyrePatronus to her , and began to make his way from the Dungeons to Gryffindor Tower , the full length of the Castle away , and he cursed the Headmaster's refusal to allow him leave to apparate on the grounds.

* * *

_There's a calming draft on the bedside table._

_Probably Nevilles._

_They warded the common room and girl's dorm._

_They didn't think to ward the boys dorm , because why would she be in there ?_

_She takes the potion, all of it. Too much of it._

_**She turns to Ron** _

* * *

Severus is running , but the castle is large and vast , and there are many flights of stairs from the dungeons in the lower east to the towers in the upper west.

The beast inside him roars , howls and claws.

_" I love you Severus"_

A twisting feeling in his gut says that something bad is going to happen

* * *

_The potion helps make things even more quiet_

_Her heart beats she's sure , but she can't feel it._

_He's talking to her but she can't hear it ._

_She reaches forward and kisses him softly._

_**Hush now you...** _

* * *

He cannot move fast enough.

Corridors blur and students are pushed out of the way. Violently.

He needs to get closer.

His teeth bare in a silent snarl.

* * *

_When she's kissed him , she turns and walks away_

_Neville is in the doorway talking to her with a strange look upon his face_

_he's asking her something , he might even be concerned_

_but all she hears is the silence._

_sweet glorious silence_

_He grabs her face and looks at her eyes._

_When he releases her , she keeps walking away_

_Neville lunges at Ron_

_**Hush now you...** _

* * *

Every particle of his being screams that something is wrong.

Urgent.

Dangerous.

He needs to get to her.

_Now now now._

His blood is fire in his veins and she is too far away

_he growls in anger_

* * *

_His patronus finds her as she walks_ _._

_It tryes to block her way , but it's not corporeal so she walks straight through it_

_It comes back , panicked again and again_

_She ignores it ,_

_It even tries to stop her way with fiendfyre as a last resort, but she lets it burn her skin as she walks on_

_Eventually it runs away_

_It might have howled , but all she hears is silence._

**_Hush now you..._ **

* * *

When his patronus returns to him howling and frantic

_The beast inside roars._

He sends the patronus to Minerva and he runs

His heart is beating like a hummingbird and his muscles scream as they fill with lactic acid

When he gets to Gryffindor common room and blasts his way through the portrait.

she's not there.

But there's Weasley and longbottom both being held apart by other boys.

Both bloody and bruised.

What Longbottom shouts makes his heart stop suddenly , before he launches out of the common room

_His blood burns_

Suddenly there is speed , from some unknown reserve, he is faster than he was before as he smells the scent of her and uses it to follow.

_He howls in anguish._

* * *

 

_She reaches her destination and smiles as she looks over the railing_

_It's so much more beautiful here._

_The view from the astronomy tower , than from her cell in Azkaban._

_This will do nicely._

_She hears something , howling maybe._

_A part of her longs to meet it ,  a part inside that whimpers and cries and howls back._

_But the silence quickly covers it , until she's quiet again._

**_Hush now you..._ **

* * *

 

He bursts through the doors of the astronomy tower

And howls in anguish when he sees her where she stands

On the wrong side of the railing.

_She closes her eyes_

**_Hush now you..._ **

The howling blur of black is moving , hurtling towards her.

But not quickly enough.

_**You know what to do , you've done it before.** _

She steps forward and over the edge , feeling the nothingness beneath her 

_Sweet blessed nothing._

_**Hush now you... Be all my sins remembered.** _

* * *


	52. Chapter 52

_The howling blur of black is moving , hurtling towards her._

_But not quickly enough._

_**You know what to do , you've done it before.** _

_She steps forward and over the edge , feeling the nothingness beneath her_

_Sweet blessed nothing._

_**Hush now you... Be all my sins remembered.** _

* * *

His heart lurches in his chest when he sees her step over the edge , and he is moving faster than he thought he was capable of, than he  _should be_  capable of if he really thought about it , exhausted as he is.

As he reaches the ledge it seems the inherent magic of the castle is on his side , as the barrier melts in to nothingness to allow him through, and he just manages to grab her by the shoulder and heft her back onto the floor of the room using brute force.

A split second later and she would've been out of reach , too far gone for him to catch. By the shaking in his limbs, he knows he would have been too magically exhausted to stop her descent. He tries not to think about that.

She is flat on the floor and he is on top of her pinning her to the ground with his weight , trying to keep her in still and safe with his mere physical presence.

She's wide eyed and her pupils are dilated. He can smell the sweetness of the calming draft on her breath.

He's growling at her  ** _How could you scare me like that_** but he's that agitated it just comes out as an actual growl.

Then something else catches his notice , other smells that make his blood heat and his anger rise. Sweat , male sweat , filled with testosterone and arousal. Dirt from the Quidditch pitch and broom polish.

It's then he notices she's barefoot , and there are smudges of dirt on her skirt and legs , a handprint.

Then he's growling for another reason when he remembers the brawling Gryffindor boys and Longbottom's shouted words to him , all the while he tried to get back at the Weasley boy.

_"He's taking advantage of her , she's high as a kite she can't consent like that, there's something wrong with her, it's not right Professor, it's not her she wouldn't do that !"_

_**Weasley**_ His lips pull back , baring his teeth into a snarl. He feels the growl rumbling through him , fuelled by anger, hate and fear.

_**I could've lost her , because of him, how dare he touch my mate!...I'll kill him** _

His whole body is shaking with the force of the growl in his chest , when just as suddenly it stops when he feels her hand cup his face.

He can see that the adrenaline of the past few minutes is wearing off, and clearing the hazy cloud the calming draft caused.

For some reason her tentative touch calms him, tremendously. The feel of her hand stroking the side of his face feels more intense, more pleasing and more wonderful than it ever has before and he can't help but relax into it.

She looks deep into his eyes , as though she's looking into his very soul. "Severus?" she questions him softly , it's one word and she almost stumbles over it.

Suddenly the relief he feels at having her beneath him safe, combined with the fear and anger serves to unman him.

He whimpers, a terribly unmanly sound but he can't bring himself to care. He presses his forehead into hers , she wraps her arms around his head and holds him to her.

_**I could've lost you. I can't live without you , not now I've only just found you.** _

"Severus" she says and tears track down her cheeks. She's hurting , and it feels like a physical pain in his chest.

He's whining now , and it seems so natural to kiss away her tears.

She doesn't seem to mind. Just runs her fingers through his hair and holds him closer to her.

* * *

He doesn't know how long they stay there upon the floor , She was sobbing and holding tightly to him as he kissed away her tears.

Then the door bursts open and McGonnagol comes racing in, along with Longbottom and Lovegood.

He's not appreciative of the interruption , and he does not want the other male especially anywhere near her , so he snarls once more baring his teeth and standing to his full height , placing himself between the girl and the others.

_**Stay away from her.** _

It's a warning that he growls out low and deep , and full of vicious promise.

Longbottom looks like he's about to piss his pants , and even Minerva is wide eyed with her hand pressed over her heart.

The Lovegood girl just looks on dreamily, and walks over to Hermione. He allows it.

Though he does not care for her as such, she's no threat and Hermione accepts her, even seeks out her presence, so he makes no move to stop her progress.

Though when the older Witch goes to move closer , he feels the anger upping once more.

_**She's family but she has her wand drawn and may challenge him over the girl, he won't allow that.** _

He takes a step forward in warning , and she takes a responding step back.

"Severus , it's OK " Hermione says to him, tearfully , placing a calming hand on his shoulder and running through his hair.

His eyes flick to hers , but quickly back to the older witch , not wanting to let his guard down.

 _"Severus?!"_  The Gryffindor head questions with a shocked expression , and there's a loud thump as the Longbottom boy faints dead away. That pleases him.

"Professor Snape hasn't realised yet that he's not quite himself right now Professor Mcgonnagol"

_**Not quite himself ? The devil does she mean.** _

His rumination was interrupted by a hiss of pain from Hermione , and he turns and sees Lovegood healing a large bruise on her shoulder , where he'd dragged her back no doubt.

_**She's injured! , I must keep her safe.** _

When the older witch once more tries to move closer , his instinct to protect is too high. He steps forward and snaps in warning.

"Severus don't !" Hermione says and grabs him by the...

_**Hey wait just a goddamn minute.** _

She grabs him by something he  _definitely_  shouldn't have.

"Starting to realise now are you boy ? " Came Minerva's dry voice.

 _ **What the hell are you on about you meddlesome tabby ,**_  he wants to say , but can't seem to find the words.

"I think you better take a look for yourself" The witch says , and transfigures a stone into a large mirror.

When he looks into the mirror he feels himself sitting down heavily out of shock.

Staring back at him is not the face he knew , but a monstrously large Timber Wolf , with fur as black as ebony and coal black eyes to match.


	53. Chapter 53

**I want to apologise for the delay in updating.**

**A few days ago I lost someone really close to me , and it threw me.**

**It was totally unexpected and I wasn't prepared.**

**I spent the last couple of days walking around either in a daze or in such a low state of mind that I've been fighting dark thoughts that I haven't had in a while , and hoped not to have again.**

**Sorry for letting you guys down , here's the next chapter.**

* * *

_When he looks into the mirror he feels himself sitting down heavily out of shock._

_Staring back at him is not the face he knew , but a monstrously large Timber Wolf , with fur as black as ebony and coal black eyes to match._

_cont._

* * *

It had taken almost 45 minutes for Severus to calm down enough to return to his human form.

Longbottom had to be Rennervated , and given a Calming Draft.

Minerva had of course practically been crowing over the strength he displayed his animagus form.

He'd never been able to study to become an animagus, much to his displeasure, due to his terrible skill in transfiguration. It would have been too risky , incase he botched the transformation or got stuck in the animal form.

He'd briefly wondered how he'd managed the unintentional transformation , that often takes months or years of practice , without any prior lessons. To which Minerva had informed him that , though very rare , it was not uncommon to hear of "Spontaneous" animagus shifts.

It was believed that some people with very strong traits, were 'natural born' animagus and when there was a great desire or a great need in the witch or wizard , they animal side pushed through.

The main thing however that surprised him had been the form , the timber wolf like his patronus. Minerva had admitted a curiosity about that too , as she was well aware of his history with Lupin. It had been cleared up by the Lovegood girl of course in her own way , who'd added in her dreamlike tone

"They're extremely loyal to those they consider family and viciously protective, People think they're mean , but they're really rather shy. They mate for life don't you know ?"

Fighting the blush that wanted to cover his face at that last statement, when Minerva regarded him at that , he was thankful that he was currently covered in fur, and pushed his face into the trembling girl's belly , where she held him close and stroked his ears.

My that was... _pleasant._

He tried not to be mortified when he felt his tail wagging quite without his consent.

_His tail_

Merlin.

* * *

When he'd finally been able to return to his human form at Minerva's coaching , he'd used legillimency on the girl who was still withdrawn and trembling, and the Longbottom boy to see firsthand the events that had happened in the Gryffindor common room to lead to her drastic actions.

It had his teeth extending into fangs and a vicious growl tearing from his throat, as he made to dash out the room and eviscerate the Weasley boy.

He was too quick for Minerva to cast on him, which resulted in the Longbottom boy having to physically tackle him to the ground like a muggle rugby player to prevent him from dashing out of the room and tearing the boy limb from limb.

He would've been angry at that , if he wasn't so damned impressed at the boy's balls.

Minerva warned him that having such a traumatic shift into his animagus form , would leave him struggling to separate the emotions from his "animal side" , there would be some bleeding through for the next few days until he became more balanced. It was most likely that due to the strength of his animal side , he would also retain a number of traits of his animagus form. Minerva herself could be very catlike and aloof in her behaviours.

After the Longbottom boy was told to attend the hospital wing, escorted by the Lovegood girl , a message was sent to the other heads of house via the rings, and Severus took Hermione with him to his quarters.

It had been agreed with all of them , that this was the last straw.

Hermione could not stay in the tower, she needed to be with Severus.

Tomorrow , they would tell Dumbledore.

* * *

Severus could feel the girl, who was currently tucked into his side as they walked down to the dungeons together, shivering beside him.

He knew she was still running on Adrenalin , and he himself was shaking with the same , along with the repressed rage at the Weasley boy.

His animagus senses were swimming in his head , he could smell her and the boy on her and it was making the beast inside him howl with rage.

_She smells of the other male. She is MINE._

It was only when she began running a soothing hand up and down his back as they walked, that he realised he was actually growling lowly under his breath.

* * *

They were not far from the dungeons when her Adrenalin finally ran out , and her legs collapsed from under her as she blacked out.

Quick as a flash he'd grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.

Normally he would've carried her in his arms, bridal style as it were.

But with the testosterone pumping , his animal side growling and a need to reassert  _his_  dominance over  _his_  mate , he instead picked her up and threw her over his shoulder , purely as a display of male strength and possession.

_She is mine._

Had any student seen him , they would have seen his chest puffed out in a display of strength , and heard the rumbling growl that he could not seem to stop.

* * *

When he placed her gently on his bed in his quarters, she began to stir and he was pacing the room up and down as he waited for her.

His stress and anger was manifesting as nervous energy , as he paced the room like a caged animal , with his eyes trained on her.

When her eyes finally opened she took in his body language and met his ebony gaze.

Nothing was said , but somehow she knew what he needed, and maybe it was what she needed also.

She opened her arms to him and he practically pounced on the bed.

She was laid back on the bed, and he was above her. She wrapped her arms around him in an embrace , and gently stroked up and down his back as he pressed his head against hers.

There was a whine of desperation building in the back of his throat , he thought it an unmanly sound and did his level best to withhold it , but did not succeed.

 _"I need..."_ he started , but bit off the words with a growl as he clenched his hands in the sheets either side of her and buried his face in her neck.

Shame and self loathing filled him.  _How dare you put your needs above hers ? This is not what she needs after what she's been through tonight and in the past!_

She ran a hand through his hair, an echo of the way she'd petted him earlier and he couldn't help pushing his head into her hand, relishing the contact even as a low growl rumbled through him.

"What do you need ?" She asked softly , innocent doe eyes on him.

He shook his head in denial as he breathed in the scent of her neck , taking her in.

"No. I will not"

"Tell me " She said softly once more.

With a frustrated growl he felt the bedsheets in his hand tear.

"Did he touch you" He growled , he knew the answer, he'd seen her memories but he needed to  _hear it._

"No...only my underwear" She answered quietly with a slight tremor to her voice.

"He was _hard ,_ he _wanted_ you , would've  _taken_  you "

It was a statement , not a question , but she answered him anyway.

"Y-yes"

His back was tense , muscles hard knots under her hands as she attempted to sooth him , hands tight white fists on the bedsheets.

"You're  _mine_...my soulmate...my  _mate_ " The last word was growled around teeth that were sharp in his mouth , as his hands pulled her closer to his body.  
He'd never been so assertive with her before, and a huge part of him was screaming at him to stop with his forceful manner, asking himself what the fuck did he think he was playing at, but he was too wound up to stop himself as the primal side took over.

 **"Yes"**  This time her answer was much more confident and assured , and she visibly relaxed under him , which allowed him to unconsciously press his body closer to her. He could practically see all the tension she'd been holding drain from her body , and he felt waves of contentment and relief through their bond. She felt in this moment more at ease than she'd felt in a long time.

He was momentarily confused , a part of him thinking she would be nervous or afraid at his dominant behaviour until a stray thought came through the bond that helped him realise the reasons behind her feelings.

She'd been afraid he'd  _deny_  her. Afraid he would reject their bond and wouldn't want her because of what Weasley had said and done to her.

His possessive and dominant behaviour , the fact that he  _wanted_  her so much , rather than being a thing of fear was a  _relief_  to her, because she trusted him. She felt better, knowing how much he wanted her, that he still cared for her , and was not disgusted by her as she'd let the boy poison her into thinking.

His growl racked up a notch. He was also aware that he was hard , achingly so and that she'd no doubt be able to feel it against her thigh.

Once more he started " I need.." but he shook his head once more as the words wouldn't come , as his logical side warred with the animal side, trying to stop him from saying or doing something he'd regret.

His body was shaking like a leaf with the effort of holding himself back.

"What do you need?" She asked , and there was slight nervousness to her voice , a dash of apprehension mixed in with a resolve and affection in her voice that said she truly wanted to give him what he required even if it scared her.

"You're mine" He said once more , almost desperately.

"Yes" She readily agreed once more

"Say it " He growled, as she pushed his frock coat off his heated body , leaving him in just his shirt and tented trousers.

" I'm yours" She whispered to him , without hesitation.

He relaxed slightly though was still tense as he continued to take in her scent.

"And you're mine" She quietly added.

Once more he whimpered softly and pressed closer to her.

He was flush with her body now , and there was no way she would not be able to tell that he was hard , he was anxious and ashamed and angry with himself , but he seemed to have little control over his instincts.

"What do you need ?" She asked once more , and he couldn't miss her slightly nervous look as she flicked her eyes down to where he was pressed against her.

The beast wanted to claim her , and roared for exactly what she was thinking .

But he shook his head , he would  _not_  allow that to happen, no matter what , he would not betray her trust like that.

"No" He growled , shaking his head in denial of his body's reactions.

His frustration was mounting as his heated body shook.

Her hands gently wrapped around his face, stroking his cheeks softly.

"What do you need?"

His eyes snapped to hers and a deep an possessive growl poured from him.

She instinctively reacted , he wasn't even sure if she knew she'd done it , as her eyes dilated and her hips moved fractionally against his , as her head tipped slightly back in submission. But he could also faintly smell her arousal.

His words made her eyes widen .

"You're mine...but you smell of  _him"_

 _"What...?"_ She started , but before she could finish he growled out

"I want  _my_  scent on you , not _his_  "

* * *


	54. Chapter 54

**_If you're squeamish, some parts of this chapter may be considered borderline taboo I suppose...some light lemons_ **

* * *

_His words made her eyes widen ._

_"You're mine...but you smell of him"_

_"What...?" She started , but before she could finish he growled out_

_"I want my scent on you , not his "_

* * *

"I want to  _mark_  you as mine, you are  _mine ,_ the only male's scent you should carry is _mine_  " He snarled , teeth bared and extended into fangs.

His eyes were burning , the animal side of him possessive and raw just wanted to reestablish his connection with her, erase what the other male had done and reaffirm that  _he_  was her mate , it didn't comprehend abuse or trauma or understand why he could not act in such a way.

The man was mortified however at his rash words , and was desperately attempting to claw back some sense of decorum before he traumatised the poor girl any further thane he already had done with his callous comments.

"Gods, Hermione forgive me, I'm sorry I...I can't..." his words ended with another growl as his fists bunched a handful of bedding.

" I don't mind if you want to...  _mark?_  me..." She whispered and her eyes were wide and focused on his.

"I want to be yours...I  _am_  yours" Then her nose suddenly crinkled as a stray thought flew through her head which he ready easily.

_I hope he doesn't want to pee on me_

He barked out a laugh at that , and it helped him regain control over the wolf for a little bit longer.

"I assure you Hermione, I have no intention of marking you like a neighbourhood lamppost "

She smiled, it was small and soft and she stroked his face , causing him to push his head into her hand further with a pleasured rumble.

"Then how...?"

There were many things running through his mind for exactly what he'd like to do to stake his claim over her , and each one was slightly more depraved than the last as the primal side of the wolf cared nothing for human manners or customs.

How did he say to this girl , that he could smell the boy's arousal on her ? Knew that he was hard, could smell his hormones , his pheromones and it made his stomach turn at the thought of him advancing on her ?

What could he do to explain to this girl that had suffered such abuse, that the beast inside him was roaring to take her , make her his and put his seed in her belly to stake his claim on her.

He wanted to bathe her...then he wanted to inspect and clean every inch of her body with his tongue and assure himself that she was not harmed.  
Then he wanted to touch her , touch himself...wanted to replace the smell of the boys arousal with the smell of his own.

Logically Severus knew that the only reason he could smell the boy's arousal on her was because of the Animagus shift , and he also knew that no other men within Hogwarts would be able to do the same...but that didn't stop him from wanting to mark her with his seed , his issue , even as the man recoiled in embarrassment at the prospect.

He had been hard since he'd taken her into his arms, and wanted to bring himself off, or even better have her do it , and then rub it into her skin so that she smelled of him, so that all males that could smell her knew she was thoroughly claimed as his.

There was a shocked inhale from her and he looked into her eyes to wonder what caused it , when he saw her flushed face and wide eyed gaze he suddenly realised.

_Oh bollocks._

In his altered state of mind , he'd not closed off their connection after he'd read her mind about 'marking' her , so she had just heard all of his thoughts and knew exactly what he wanted to do to her. Every sordid detail.

Shame and embarrassment filled him , along with a healthy does of self loathing when she pushed on his chest to get him to move away from her , so she could get out of the bed.

_Fucking depraved bastard, look what you've done..._

His self deprecating tirade was cut short though ,when she grabbed his hand and started leading him towards the bathroom.

He was about to question her actions when she turned to face him , and he saw the answer in the openess of her warm honey eyes.

_"Yes"_

She couldn't know what she was agreeing to , there was no way he would degrade her in such a way , when realising he wasn't following her , she met his eyes and opened her mind to him.

Her thoughts swirled around him , in a chaotic and painful miasma, but came through to him clear.

_I don't want sex...I'm not ready...not sure I'll ever be ready...but Severus is my soulmate I trust him...i feel so dirty... I just want to be clean...the wolf, he can smell Ron on me...dirty dirty dirty... If he can smell me then I want to smell only of Severus...he want's to mark me and I want to be marked by him...don't want to feel unclean anymore...make me feel yours again...Yes Severus please , cleanse me , heal me , protect me, claim me...I'm yours_

With a possessive growl he pulled her into his arms and a crushing hug.

_She understood , she wanted the same thing , she wanted to be his , she wasn't disgusted with him._

The wolf wanted to bite her and claim her , bite her shoulder or her neck. He fought it and kissed her instead.

Eyes flashing , he cupped her face and met her gaze as he reached for his wand.

Removing the wrist cuffs once and for all , he summoned his patronus that bit into them with a mouth full of fiendfyre and turned them into nothing more than a pile of ash.

"Never. Again." He enunciated slowly and she sobbed in relief watching the vile things turn to dust.

He grumbled low in his chest , and she met his eyes, seeing the intent there. She saw how he wanted to grab her , physically carry her and take her into the bathroom. She didn't need him to of course , she was perfectly capable of walking in herself , but as his emotions and testosterone were shooting on all cylinders at the moment she saw it for what it was, pure male posturing on an instinctive level.  _Look at me, I am strong, I can provide for you , I can protect you , accept me ._

She said nothing , their connection was such that words were not needed. Instead she allowed her body to visibly relax , become less tense and stood quietly and submissively, showing she would not fight him.

With a satisfied growl he lifted and carried her into the bathroom, not putting her down until they were outside his bath.

She could see his emotions warring as he spelled the bath full, it wasn't enough for her to be clean but he wanted to clean her. It was the catharsis she realised , a process in his mind that he wanted to do, his mate was dirty he wanted to clean her and it was as simple as that.

There was nothing sexual about this act , though his arousal remained from earlier it was not something he intended to act upon right now. Though she could see the uncertainty in his gaze. Behind the wolf , who saw nothing wrong with cleaning his mate , the man was afraid he was crossing a line.

Oddly enough she didn't mind the though of disrobing in front of him , there was no fear or discomfort associated with the idea and she found that she was looking forward to the catharsis of the action as much as he was.  _She wanted to be cleaned by him , cleansed of the horrible reminders of the day , just as much as he wanted to clean her._

That last thought was shared clearly with him and his chest rumbled in approval as he began to disrobe , she watched him for a moment before realising she should probably begin disrobing herself.

A low growl cut through him and she turned to look at her mate , his black eyes glittering as he met her gaze.  _I want to do it_

She smiled softly and nodded, waiting for him to finish disrobing himself , before coming over to her.

There was a moment where she froze at the sight of him beautifully naked and fully aroused, _he's so big_  , she thought nervously. A painful flashback ripped through her , as she remembered the way she'd suffered under the bodies of the men at Azkaban.  _He's bigger than they were ,_  she worried.

He approached her cautiously, and kissed her softly on the side of her face , looking at her with a question in his eyes.

Breathing in determinedly she met his gaze and his question in her mind.

_My mate...my Hermione...ok ?_

_Yes...this is ok... anything you wish is ok , I trust you...but no_ penetration, _ok?_

Her face heated a little in embarassment but his answer was immediate

_Yes...yes my mate...yes anything you say... I will protect you my mate, my hermione yes_

His thoughts were broken and disjointed , a mishmash of words and emotions and images that made her realise how much he was struggling between the two parts of himself.

He pulled her into a hug , lifting his head and tucking her face into his neck, it was a slightly odd embrace and at first she thought it was the man in charge here , but she realised with the heady whimper he released that it was just as much the wolf. , it was then she realised the significance of the body language behind his actions.  _He's naked and I'm fully clothed...he's showing submission , respect even... placing my mouth at his throat...he's showing he's submitting to my decision._

It was in that moment she knew , that wolf or man , Severus would always resepect her choices. Even if he wanted to do something , he would not just take it from her without her consent. She knew she had nothing to fear from him and she felt the last of the tension in her body draining away.

She moved back from his embrace slightly , and at his questioning gaze she offered him a small reassuring smile placing his hands upon her shirt to show she'd accepted him , accepted his submission to her , offered him her trust.

"I trust you Severus, Yes do it"

His smile was beautiful and the sharp teeth made her shudder in delight as she appreciated his body for the first time without fear.

This strong , beautiful, faithful, loyal man...is all mine.

She moved forward , unafraid of his nakedness and pressed her head to his, forehead to forehead she met his ebony gaze with her amber.

"Yes. I love you Severus, with all my heart my soulmate, I trust you, mark me as yours for that is what I am. Yours"

Much to her delight, he pulled her into his arms _and howled._

* * *

**Please note , Hermione is not in shock or being mistreated or anything along those lines**

**Severus is obviously a very strong "Alpha" male character with the wolf behind him , but he still cares deeply for Hermione , with the wolf influence he's just lacking the filter between his mind and his brain as it were!**

**And Hermione has had a sort of self revelation that I believe is the first step to her recovery, she's not being passive or dissasociative but s** **he's realised that there's nothing wrong with being submissive, following orders or doing what a man asks of you as long as it is what you want also. She realised she's not afraid of what Severus is asking because she trusts him , she's starting to realise the importance of informed consent...how the differences between two similar circumstances can be huge, just because of your willingness to partake in them.**

**What might have been a traumatising or degrading experience if forced on her , could actually be cathartic for her because she gave her consent and trusts her partner.**


	55. Chapter 55

She moved forward , unafraid of his nakedness and pressed her head to his, forehead to forehead she met his ebony gaze with her amber.

"Yes. I love you Severus, with all my heart my soulmate, I trust you, mark me as yours for that is what I am. Yours"

Much to her delight, he pulled her into his arms _and howled._

* * *

Severus had disrobed her , slowly and carefully.

Each item he'd taken off he'd thrown to his patronus , which was laid on the floor like a faithful dog.

Each piece thrown the wolf.

Each piece burned.

When he reached her underwear , after removing her bra , she stopped him.

He looked up at her with a question in his eyes, but she'd just smiled at him.

She pulled them off herself and threw them to the patronus , where they were reduced to so much ash with the rest of her clothing.

Breathing deeply , she sighed in relief. For that was how she felt. Relieved.

The bath was full now , and she turned to face it , before looking back to Severus.

He puffed his chest out, stood taller and raised his head when she looked at him, and she smiled.  _Posturing._

Some unknown instinct guided her , she relaxed her body once more , showing how safe she felt in his presence , and tilted her head to the side exposing her neck as she dropped her gaze from his eyes to the floor.

He grumbled in approval and approached her , pressed his head to her neck inhaling her scent and basking in her trust , before holding himself to her cheek to cheek, rubbing his slightly against her.

She smiled once more, feeling so much  _lighter_  than she had done in as long as she could remember , and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He chuffed in pleasure and lifted her into his arms, sitting himself in the bath with her between his legs and pushed against his chest.

She was sideways in his arms , her right side tucked into his chest and his cock was digging into her hip , but she didn't mind. His reaction was physical , hormonal, natural...and she trusted him. She wasn't afraid anymore. Not of him, not in any way, not ever again.

Tucking her head under his chin , his chest rumbled in pleasure and he pulled her close with one hand as the other grabbed the washcloth and ran it up and down her skin.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed in the bath , but he was attentive throughout , washing every inch of her carefully and methodically.

Some parts of her , she couldn't help but flinch when he touched , body reacting on instinct without consulting her brain. However she was quick to reassure him, as each time she flinched, he would whine and stop his motions , pressing his cheek to hers.

When they'd finished bathing and she'd returned the favour , though not quite as thoroughly as him, he carried her into the bedroom and placed her instead of on the bed , on the rug in-front of the fire.

His patronus which was still following them from room to room like a faithful hound, belched flames into the hearth and it stoke to a roaring glow.

As she lay naked on the fur rug , instead of using a towel, he chased the water droplets along her body with his tongue as she lay highlighted in the glow of the fire.

If someone had asked her if she'd like a man to lick her,  _all over_  her body, from the tips of her toes to the back of her knees and the tips of her fingers... she would have recoiled in disgust , but now she found herself turned to highly contented jelly at his ministrations.

 _Worship._ Was the only way she could describe it. He was worshipping her.

He turned her, this way and that , running his tongue and teeth over every piece of her.

And she meant _every_  piece.

Face pressed in the rug , laid on her stomach, she'd gasped in shock and a small amount of surprised pleasure when he'd trailed his tongue up the back of her calves , back of her knees, back of her thighs and carried on going  _up._

 _That_  was not something she'd  _ever_  expected to be intrigued by.  _ever._  But she couldn't deny that her face was flushed as he continued on his way , over her back and shoulders, kissing every single mark and scar.

He growled when he got to the brand on her neck , snarled right into her skin and it made her whimper.

Then to her surprise he'd sank his teeth into her.

It hurt yes, but it was so goddamn  _erotic_  having him naked, pressed into her equally naked back, hard cock rubbing against her ass cheeks and leaving sticky smears of precum, that the pain was forgotten as a rush of affection filled her , at his possessive anger and desire to put his mark over those that had slighted her.

"Yes Severus, I'm yours" she'd hissed and he'd let go of her neck to rumble in pleasure as he laved his tongue over his mark.

It would do nothing to obscure the brand , she knew that , but the sheer process of having him do it...made her feel better in a small way.

She'd turned around then at his insistance , and he'd carried on over her front. Starting with her feet and moving up her legs , up both her arms and then to her neck.

Then lower to her chest.

She could feel his cock , thick and long pressed against the outside of her thigh, still dripping precum.

She whimpered again , hands fisted in his hair when he lavished attention on her breasts.

Then lower , he'd kissed his way down her stomach, down the scar from Dolohov until he reached her lower belly and  _that_  scar.

She'd felt tears fill her eyes then.

 _He'd wanted to get her pregnant._  She'd seen it in his mind ,his unspoken desires.

She couldn't help but feel like a failure as he laved equal attention to this scar, would the wolf part of him reject her in some way , knowing she couldn't bare his young?

"No" He grumbled against her skin and she looked down at him.

The words stumbled from his mouth , as though it was hard for him to find the right ones.

"mine...as are...perfect"

_You're perfect as you are_

"Always... pups...pack"

He growled in frustration , at his inability to articulate the words he needed to reassure her.

Instead he pushed his thoughts at her , which was bizarre, it was legillimency but the wolf was in the drivers seat , and severus was in the background, so it came through as images and sensations , rather than words from the wolf, along with a message from severus.

 _There are always pups that need a pack_ That was the message coming through from the wolf , images sensations and feelings. She didn't hear it, she  _felt_  it.

And the dual message from Severus, spoken in his dulcet tones straight into her mind.

_Giving birth isn't the be all and end all of being a mother , there are plenty of ways to become a mother if you so desire. I would not love a child that we raised together any less, just because it did not come from your womb. You are perfect as you are._

Letting out a quiet sob of relief , at the acceptance of both man and wolf , she relaxed further into his touch as he continued to kiss and lick her lower belly and hips.

She was running her hands through his hair when he began to move lower. She gasped and stilled when she realised his intent.

Severus did not miss it , when her body suddenly froze and his eyes snapped up to hers.

She looked down and moaned at the sight , Severus was naked in between he spread legs, mouth hovering over her.

He'd met her eyes and she could see both desire and concern.

Even now , with the wolf firmly in the drivers seat, robbing him of words and language. He saw her tense , and stopped.

She forced herself to relax , but he didn't start again , still looking at her with concern in those deepest ebony eyes.

Stroking his hair , she cupped his face and he closed his eyes in pleasure and she rubbed his cheek with her hand.

When she stopped he opened his eyes and she smiled at him , before letting her legs fall open a fraction more in invitation.

He began to run his tongue over her methodically, and she gasped at the pleasant sensations that would shoot through her when he ran his tongue over her.

Even as she was nervous, she knew it was something she just had to overcome. as she allowed herself to truly  _feel_  what he was doing to her.

Severus for his part had started off methodical , running his tongue over her as clinically and matter of fact as he had done for the rest of her body.

But as her hips began to undulate beneath him, and her sharp gasps turned into soft moans, he growled into her flesh as he scented her budding arousal.

_Yes. Mate. Yes._

He became firmer with his attentions , and she could feel him scenting her and growling when what he found was to his liking.

The vibrations of his growls were reverberating through her , and making the pleasure mount inside of her.

His hands gripped her hips suddenly and jerked her forward, pulling her into more direct contact with his mouth and tongue. She rested her legs over his shoulders and arched her back into his mouth.

 _"Oh god Severus"_ She gasped.

Something was building inside her. Something impossibly huge, it was intriguing and frightening and she wanted it to stop but at the same time she might die if it did.

Suddenly there was another loud snarl from Severus , and that was it. She felt like she was flying , her body lurched like it had in that one weightless moment when she stepped off the astronomy tower , before he'd pulled her back.

This time  _she_  howled.

* * *

He continued to run his tongue over her until she had to pull him up as she was getting too sensitive.

She took him in as he held himself above her.

She was flat on her back in bed and he was directly above her, and she was a boneless heap of contented fluff.

His body was taught as a bow string , and he was breathing in his nose and out his mouth.

She tried not to blush when she realised he was still scenting her.

The muscles in his body were tense and trembling, like a horse ready to bolt and there was a rumbling growl running from him constantly, though she was not sure why.

Suddenly she felt warmth on her lower belly and she looked down to see him still very much hard , as his erect cock was dripping above her belly.

Seeing her focus on him , he tried to verbalise once more.

_"said..no..."_

She'd told him not to penetrate her, and he'd obeyed. That's why he was hovering above her , doing his best not to touch her with his cock as he stared on in mute agony.

She felt horrendously guilty all of a sudden, here she was basking in the afterglow and he was hard enough to hammer nails and had been for a long time.

Biting her lip, she looked at him.

"Severus?"

His eyes met hers and a shiver ran through him, she ran a hand down his flanks like she was soothing an animal , and ended with a hand on his hip.

"Do you want to mark me ?" She asked through hooded eyes.

"Yesss" he growled and his hips twitched forward.

"You can do it without...without penetration?"

He growled in ascent and excitement, and she nodded.

"Then...yes Severus , I consent...mark me yours"

He pounced on her , there was no other term for it.

They kissed , hard and passionate and it made her head swim.

Then he was pushing on her shoulder .

"Over" he said gruffly , and she turned until she was on her belly.

He grabbed her by the hip and pulled her until she was on all fours.

She didn't get chance to be nervous as the next second he'd buried his face in her from behind and was licking her once more.

Squeaking in surprise as he licked her , she found it wasn't long before she was pushing back into him trying to encourage him.

Suddenly she gasped as she felt him...mounting...her , and the feel of his hard cock probing between her legs.

"Severus..." She panted out , but he just grunted at her  _"Promise...mate"_

He thrust forward and she gasped as his cock glided through her slick folds, grinded against her clit, but didn't penetrate her.

Pulling back , he did it again and again.

When she finally let out a moan and relaxed, understanding he had no intention of breaking his promise and penetrating her,  he grunted happilly and settled into a quick rythmn behind her.

She found herself building back up very quickly with the firm contact against her clit , and she fell over the edge when he lurched forward and bit the brand on her neck as she felt his cock pulse between her legs.

Shuddering she came back to earth , but found he wouldn't let go of her hip until his cock had finished spilling his issue over the soft skin between her legs.

When he was done , she collapsed to the bed and he pulled her close to his chest.

One arm around her chest, the other around her waist with his hand cupping her mound possesively.

Sated , the wolf had fallen back and it was her Severus that held her once more.

She felt him tense behind her, "Hermione...God's I'm sorry , are you alright ?" 

"Yes...better than alright...better than I have been"

"It wasn't...too much... I was so...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry , unless you regret making me yours" She whispered...what if Severus didn't want her without the wolf in charge ?

"Of couse I don't regret making you mine girl...I regret the way i treated you...I..."

"You stopped when you sensed I was uncomfortable, and waited for me to calm down" She kissed his eyes.

"You made sure you knew my limits and agreed not to go too far" She kissed his cheeks

"You made sure that I got pleasure from what you did" She kissed his nose

"And you made me  _yours_  Severus" She ended with a deep and languid kiss on his lips.

"So tell me what do you have to be sorry for?"

He smiled at her and kissed her back.

"Do you want me to clean you up?"

He gestured to his wand with one hand , though she noted that the other was still cupped possesively between her legs.

"No." She whispered and snuggled back into his chest.

"Good" He growled and pulled her closer to him.

Tonight he was hers and she was his, beyond that he wanted to think of nothing else.

Because tomorrow was when the shit would hit the fan.


	56. Chapter 56

_**I want to apologise for the delay in updates , the storms hit me pretty bad and threw my electricity and internet out. It was coming in and out just enough to log on, but not enough to write / post with. Hoping I can get back on track now.** _

_**Emma xXx** _

* * *

_Tonight he was hers and she was his, beyond that he wanted to think of nothing else._

_Because tomorrow was when the shit would hit the fan._

_cont._

* * *

Sure enough , the next morning they received the summons to see the headmaster in his office. However they were prepared. The four heads of house were ready to provide a united front for when Dumbledore no doubt would attempt to once more return the girl to the Gryffindor tower, and Harry Potter.

Severus had gotten up early that morning and had an emergency meeting with the other staff members , who were horrified to know what had happened the night before. Minerva especially was distraught at the damage her cubs had done.

So it was with a joint goal in mind , that the four heads of house plus Hermione , made their way determinedly to the headmasters office.

If Dumbledore was surprised to see the other three staff members, he tried his best not to show it. Though neither Snape nor Hermione missed the slight narrowing of his eyes.

Fawkes greeted them with a sad trill, and they were once again taken in by the poor condition of the once vain and exuberant bird.

"Good morning all , I assume we're here to talk about Miss Granger's relocation from Gryffindor Tower?"

The man smiled serenely as he sat himself behind the large desk, popping a sherbet lemon into his mouth , the very epitome of the twinkling headmaster.

Severus's eyebrow rose slightly, and he shared a quick look with Minerva.  _Surely it cannot be that easy._

"Indeed headmaster, it is high time that you see that Miss Granger simply should not be in the tower among the other students , her treatment there has been at best abysmal and at worst torturous, she needs removing from the tower immediately"

Dumbledore's eyes flicked to Hermione's wrists, noticing the lack of cuffs and Severus narrowed his gaze.  _What are you on with, you old fool._

"Of course you're quite right my dear boy, it's come to my attention that Miss Granger is not fitting in any longer in Gryffindor, nor is she providing her friendship and support to Mr. Potter , which is indeed a great shame, therefore I do believe it's best that she be removed from the tower forthwith to prevent causing any further disruption among the other students"

He sneered at the headmaster's wording , making it sound as though all the fault lay on her and none on precious potter or the other little shits that had been making her life hell.

The headmaster continued, heedless of the venomous looks he was getting from the other staff.

"So Miss Granger , you'll have an hour to say your goodbyes and gather your things and once you are ready we shall call for the nightbus-"

"The Nightbus?" Minerva questioned , and Severus felt a sinking feeling in his gut as he pulled the girl to his side and slightly behind him as he fought the growl building in his chest.

"Indeed, if Miss Granger is no longer a student-"

 _"No longer a student ?"_  Minerva hissed and Severus growled.

"-Then she is unfortunately not permitted to stay on school grounds, and shall be returned to the care of her parents"

There was a sudden heavy and oppressive feeling in the room, as the walls themselves seemed to groan.

"Albus that's absurd !" Filius squeaked out

"The poor lamb doesn't want to be anywhere near those neglectful muggles" Sprout interjected.

"This is Thestral Shit and you know it, there's no reason she cannot stay in the castle or a student " Severus growled.

"Aah I thought you might say that , but unfortunately I recently discovered that in the school charter it does state that students cannot be accepted if they have a recent criminal conviction"

"Is the ink even dry on it yet Albus ?" Minerva hissed.

"Regardless of the fact , Miss Granger cannot be a student at Hogwarts"

"We should be thankful then Albus..." Severus growled , as the other staff turned to him. "That the Potion Master's guild holds no such prejudices, and that as Potions Master and head of house of Hogwarts , I hold the right within the school charter to have a live in apprentice"

"Indeed..." Minerva added "Nor does the British Transfiguration Society have issues.".

"Or the charms association" Squeaked Filius

"Nor the British guild of Herbologists" added Pomona sternly.

Suddenly as the feeling of static electricity rose in the air, there was a voice from the wall, as one of the portraits spoke up, ex headmistress and healer Dilys Derwent."I think you'll find _headmaster_  that if Poppy Pompfrey were here, she'd be quick to point out that the royal college of mediwitches and wizards, would also hold no grudges against Miss Granger continuing her studies as a medical apprentice."

Then shockingly the stern voice of none other than Phineas Black spoke up.

"You've lost the plot old man, anyone with half a brain can see those two belong together, and there's more malice in my big toe that in that entire girl, she's as light as they come. Can't you see what's happening, can't you feel it ?"

There was a small shudder in the room , a vibration that ran through their feet.

"NO!" Dumbledore shouted , angrily at the portrait . "How dare you speak against me? I am the headmaster , and you are bound to secrecy"

The portrait simply sneered at him , and others hissed their displeasure.

"Are you sure about that old man? Because I'm feeling full of free speech...fancy that?" Phineas curled his lip as he spoke.

"What's going on ?" Pomona questioned.

"I know..." Hermione spoke softly. Her hand was stroking the stone wall beside her, as though soothing a beast, and her forehead pressed against it as the staff turned to her questioningly.

"Hermione ?" Minerva questioned , as Severus locked eyes with her.

What he saw in her mind made him gasp out loud , then chuckle.

Dumbledore's contraptions began to whirr excessively before slowing down and stopping alltogether, sitting still for the first time any of them could ever recall, as the floor continued to vibrate beneath them.

The walls groaned as though they were on a ship , and the pressure and electricity in the air rose until it was an almost audible hum.

Suddenly Severus began to laugh, darkly and full of malice.

"What? Severus what's going on ?" Filius squeaked out

"Don't you get it old man , don't you see ?" He sneered at the headmaster.

"Severus ?" Minerva asked as she brought her wand into her hand.

"You've gone to far this time Albus..."

The man looked on angrily , his gaze and manner full of hatred.

"You've gone too far"

Severus continued...

"And Hogwarts is rejecting you."


	57. Chapter 57

_The man looked on angrily , his gaze and manner full of hatred._

_"You've gone too far"_

_Severus continued..._

_"And Hogwarts is rejecting you."_

* * *

"No. It cannot, it will not." Ablus vehemently denied , but Severus chuckled.

"It can and it has...just like when that mad umbridge toad was refused into the office, Hogwarts has  _her_  own voice as we all well know...and  _she_  is not with you anymore"

Pomona Sprout placed her hand on the wall besides Hermione and closed her eyes , the motherly Herbologist was attuned to nature more than any of the others, if any of them could sense the castle's presence it would be her.

"It's true..." She spoke breathlessly , and her shocked gaze turned to the other's .

Severus sneer was vicious and victorious as he gazed upon Albus.

"Shall we call the nightbus for you old man? Do you need long to say your goodbyes?"

"I am the respected headmaster of this school...do not think getting rid of me will be so easy "

Minerva snorted.

"Respect ? Albus your resepect was gone the minute you allowed a bunch of teenagers to fight death eaters at the Ministry, everyone know's you've not been yourself lately, the public has lost faith in you and your friends and colleagues are worried about you"

The fury in the man's gaze was clear , but the staff still held their ground.

Minerva added quietly.

"You've been through three wizarding wars Albus, you're over 150 years old , no one would begrudge you stepping down if your health is failing"

"Albus...my friend, please let us help you , it's not too late" Filius spoke in his squeaky voice.

The serene countenance of the headmaster they knew was gone, and replaced by a man with eyes as frighteningly cold as Voldemort's.

"As soon as I became aware of your bond with Miss Granger, I knew you would become a liability Severus...but you Minerva , Filius, Pomona...your lack of loyalty...you have disappointed me"

A flick of the headmaster's wand and the three were suddenly bound tightly with incarcerous.

"Severus...Obliviate and confund them, if they resist imperio them"

There were muffled protests from the staff bound on the floor, and Minerva had tears in her eyes as she regarded him.

Holding his wand tightly and casting as many nonverbal shield spells as he could , he sneered at the headmaster and drawled one word.

Short, emphatic and to the point.

_**"No."** _

The fury in the man's eyes was evident as he seethed.

"I  _command_  you to Severus, that is an  _order_... "

Severus moved forward , slowly and mechanically and the man's anger turned into a pleased smile as Severus approached the staff with his wand drawn.

It was quickly back however, when with a sudden flick of his wrist he freed all three staff members who made a point of throwing up strong shields instantly.

"How? I COMMAND you Severus !"

With a vicious grin Severus cast an expelliarmus on the unsuspecting headmaster, quickly snatching his wand out of the air and feeling a momentary suprise at the power it exuded.

"Because...headmaster...you are no longer pulling my strings... I am not your puppet anymore"

"Impossible" He spat , flecks of foam around his mouth and eyes burning with unnatural anger as Fawkes trliled unhappily and the walls continued to groan.

"It's true Albus...The oath was broken by me, the magic accepted you were not of sound mind, and I broke that sick oath you made him swear and held him under all these years" Minerva growled at the man she'd once called mentor and friend. "He was a  _boy_  Albus , a scared and hurt and lonely teenage boy and you took control of his life and made him your weapon , your tool !"

They missed the way that Albus had slowly conjured another wand from his desk drawer.

"Severus was a valuable tool to the mission...and the mission is what matters , nothing else matters but the mission...a valuable tool..." He was muttering to himself now , then suddenly stopped.

"And you shall be again...with no distractions to deter you from the plan"

The wand in his hand raised whip fast , faster than any of them would have thought him possible of, and was pointed at the one person in the room not shielding.

The one stood at the back , not speaking and still attempting to sooth the tumultuous castle.

Hermione.

The girl screamed as she was whipped to the headmasters side, and a wand pointed into her throat.

Severus lurched forward with snarl , but before he got a chance there was a sharp screaming trill as in a shower of feathers and sparks Fawkes flew onto the desk and perched directly in front of the headmaster.

"Fawkes ? " The man spoke as he looked to his familiar who once more screeched angrily.

The bird met his eyes , and stared as if searching for something.

"Fawkes what are you..."

He got no further, as with a sad and mournful cry the bird turned and met Hermione's eyes. The girl gasped and stiffened like a board as her eyes snapped to Fawkes and went glassy.

Severus wasn't sure what happened in that moment between them when their eyes met, for to him it was only a second , but he felt the echoes of it in his mind through his bond with Hermione and it felt like so much longer...so much  _more._

Albus yelled out and clutched at his chest over his heart, as though he was in physical pain, then looked panic stricken as the bird gave him another sorrowful look.

As the rest of the staff looked on in confusion , it was clear that Albus was aware of the bird's intent.

"No! Fawkes ! No!"

In his haste to get to Fawkes he threw the now limp Hermione to the side like so much trash, where she was quickly grabbed by a growling Severus and pulled into his embrace.

But the headmaster was too slow , and as he reached out a blackened cursed hand to grasp the bird, with a deafening trill, Fawkes threw up his wings and  _burned._

And the headmaster threw back his head and  _screamed._


	58. Chapter 58

_But the headmaster was too slow , and as he reached out a blackened cursed hand to grasp the bird, with a deafening trill, Fawkes threw up his wings and burned._

_And the headmaster threw back his head and screamed._

_cont._

* * *

They combined staff shielded their eyes at the powerful light that burst from the phoenix as he erupted into flames.

When the light died down they became aware of two things.

The first was the seemingly lifeless form of Albus Dumbledore, laid prone upon the floor, eyes unfocussed and staring at nothing though clearly alive if the shallow breaths were anything to go by.

"Merlin it's as if he's been kissed..." Pomona gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand.

They then became aware of a distressed squeaking coming from the unusually large and moving pile of ash.

It was Hermione who hitched a breath and moved forward , scraping through the ash pile with shaking hands.

Minerva moved as if to assist her , but Severus's hand held her back as he slightly shook his head.

When she'd hefted enough of the ash out of the way, the small and helpless phoenix chick was revealed , much smaller and frailer than any of the staff had ever seen him.

He was also coated in a dark oily gelatinous slick , which appeared to be hurting him , given the pained and distressed squeaks the bird was emitting.

Without a care for her own safety , Hermione began hurriedly wiping the the acidic goo from the bird with her bare hands, flicking it to the floor where Severus conjured his patronus that promptly incinerated it.

When she'd got enough from the bird she ripped some fabric from the sleeve of her robe and held it out to Severus, who understood her nonverbal request and cast an aguamenti on the scrap , dousing it in clean water.

Softly crooning reassurance to the chick she wiped the rest of the dark matter from him , then then threw the soiled rag to the wolf.

Cupping the nearly naked chick to her chest , she stroked and soothed it and it relaxed against her breast, crying tears that healed her burned hands.

The staff gasped as they saw the bald skin of the bird where the black matter had burned him...but what shocked them the most was the few bits of plumage that were showing through , untouched by the dark insidious oil.

In place of Fawke's usual regal ruby plumage , were sprouting brilliant bright blue feathers.

"Nimune...It's just like your bluebell flames Hermione!" Flitwick squeaked out. When she'd shown him her bluebell flames, the diminutive charms professor had been infinitely proud of his student that had successfully created her own charm, while still in school.

There was an air of wonder in the room as they took in Hermione gently cupping the fragile chick to her chest.

Minerva took a step backwards, holding her hand to her chest and they were all surprised when the chair behind the headmaster's desk shot out behind her as if summoned, though as she dropped into the seat heavily, the bewildered look on her face clearly showed that she had not summoned it herself.

"What just happened here ?" She gasped out , meeting their eyes.

And all the staff turned to Hermione for answers.

Still being uncomfortable talking in front of so many people , Hermione shared a significant look with Severus and he felt her opening the bond between them.

When his eyes widened and he staggered back to lean on the wall, with a rapid inhalation , it was clear that he now knew what had happened and as he began to tell the tale , learned through Fawkes , he let out a little hysterical laugh.

"Minerva...I think you better conjure more chairs."

* * *

_Dumbledore had his suspicions , had them since Harry's second year when Tom's diary wrought havoc upon the school._

_He collected information , and had a number of items in mind that could have fit the purpose._

_But he hadn't been certain though , until he found one in person, a live one not yet destroyed...the ring._

_The dark curse , hidden so cleverly , His mind whispered at him to try the ring on...to just see what it could do for him._

_Then he was cursed, delirious with pain , but he'd known. Once the curse was released, and no longer cloaking it, he felt the whispering of the soul fragment inside._

_"So that **is**  how he's done it."..they truly are Horcruxes...the ring, the locket, the cup, the diadem, the snake and...Harry himself?_

_The knowledge both filled him with a sense of power , and dread. And a deeply hidden temptation. Small but ever present, like a sore tooth or itch at the back of the throat._

_Fawkes could not,...would not heal him. The cursed wound was self inflicted , he'd given in to the whispers of temptation , selfishly wanting the power for himself. It was a dark curse , from a dark act and the bird would not heal him._

_The ring was destroyed , freeing the stone. And t_ _he locket was easy to find, once he knew what he listened to, he heard it at Grimmauld and it followed the ring into oblivion._

_He was certain there was one at Hogwarts...but she did not listen to him like she used to. Or maybe he could not hear her like he once did ? Ever since he brought the philospher's stone to the school and set the test for Harry, it was as though she was a jilted friend, turning a blind eye to half of his requests._

_If only he'd known the truth then...that Hogwarts was already beginning to reject the man for his schemes, for putting mere children at risk, for them to become pawns in his game._

_He was certain there was one in the Lestrange vault in Gringotts, but after he'd orchestrated the break in they refused to have anything to do with him , and he grew angrier the more time went by._

_The curse was killing him , slowly draining his strength , everyday he wished for more time. More time to find and destroy the Horcruxes, so that Harry can face the dark lord. Every day weaker, less coherent. Until that insidious little whisper, became softly spoken and seductive words._

_When he felt the tingle of the wards, as two death eaters tried to access Hogwarts through the forest, the voice began to shout and summoning the sword of Gryffindor he commanded Fawkes, who acquiesced with a sad trill and vanished him to the forest._

_A part of him rebelled at the idea, as he saw the two teenage death eaters. Young, foolish and barely out of school. Trying to prove a point to their Lord, trying to make themselves look important...useful._

_They stared upon him with frightened eyes when he immobilised them. Though he went to at first summon his patronus , to alert the aurors...the voice began to croon to him , and remind him of the weight in his hand._

_Voldemort had Slytherin's Locket...and he had Gryffindor's sword. There was a synchronicity to it , a balance._

_His curse was quick , and merciless and the boy fell dead at his feet._

_The soul shard ripped from him , like a severed limb as he attempted to push it to the sword._

_But something was wrong. In his madness, his delirium he'd forgotten that the sword was goblin made...it only took what would make it stronger , and taking a part of soul would make it **mortal,**  weak...and able to be destroyed._

_The soul shard was rejected by the sword, and unable to survive unbound from his body and rejected from the sword it dissipated into the atmosphere with a scream and he felt it's loss like a mortal wound to his chest. Gaping and deadly._

_The voice was roaring now , urging him on, and he felt the weakness in his body as he looked into the weeping eyes of the other teenage boy._

_Fawkes trilled in alarm , but he ignored it , consumed by delirium the voice screamed to him, **try again.**_

_The second boy fell and Albus realised only then that he had no item to bind his soul to. But once again he heard Fawke's distressed trill, and his thoughts turned to Voldemort and the synchronicity...Tom has his snake._

_Fathomless eyes turned to Fawkes, who cried at the dark look in his master's eyes._

_He'd tried to reject it , but he had dropped his head wearily and stopped fighting at the words of the man he once thought his friend._

_"I command you...you must...I will die if you don't"_

_Then his soul was latching onto the bird , making him scream in distress at the violation._

_But once more his obsession was to be his undoing._

_So intent was he , so consumed he failed to take into account the very nature of the phoenix._

_The death and rebirth._

_It was with a sinking feeling as his soul painfully latched onto Fawkes like a parasite , that some clarity finally returned to his addled mind._

_The next time that Fakwes had a burning day , the piece of his soul would be destroyed in the cleansing fires of rebirth._

_With that in mind he turned to Fawkes, his familiar, bound to him as master._

_"Fawkes...As your Master I forbid you to burn"_

* * *

Hermione now seated on Severus's lap , was still gentling comforting the chick that wept freely into her chest.

"It was hurting him" She said softly to the room , the only words she'd spoken.

"But what I don't understand..." Minerva said softly "Was why Albus is the way that he is...when Voldemort has broken his soul into many more pieces , 3 of which we know have been destroyed, yet he's still as strong as ever ?"

"Intent and control" Severus spoke levelly , and the attention of the room snapped to him.

"We know from Albus's memory , the one he received from Slughorn , that right from the start the dark lord had always intended to break off 7 pieces his soul, and as such each time was meticulously planned and he separated small pieces for each object however..."

He paused for a moment , to gently stroke the bird that was still trembling in hermione's grasp.

"...However, we know that even though the dark lord planned to make a seventh horcrux , the young Mr. Potter was not it , he was an accidental Horcrux and therefore received a larger piece of his soul than he intended , contributing to the dark lord's weakened state afterwards as well as the boy's shared talents such as parseltongue"

"That all makes sense Severus, but how does that explain Albus ?" Filius squeaked.

Nodding his head, Severus continued.

"Albus was not in his right mind when he created his horcruxes, it could easily be argued that he's been not quite sane for years but he also had the curse affecting his mind. Albus had no planning or preparation to make a horcrux , let alone two in quick succession. Like when the dark lord created the Horcrux that inhabits Mr. Potter, he broke off a much larger piece of his soul, one could even say he broke it in half... and when the sword rejected it , he did it again pushing the other half of his soul into Fawkes."

"So he's been walking around without a soul in his body ?" Pomona gasped .

Severus nodded sagely , and all the staff looked pale.

"His bond with Fawkes was the only thing that kept him attached to that part of his soul , like a tether... so when Fawkes saw his treatment of Hermione and finally rejected him as Master, giving him the ability to burn , the last part of his soul died with him, so you were right Pomona , Dumbledore looks like he's been kissed because in essence he has...all his soul has been taken from his body and destroyed"

"Wait..." Filius squeaked " So if Fawkes was able to defy Dumbledore's orders , because he rejected him as Master and broke the familial bond, does this and the change of plumage mean that..."

"Indeed." Severus nodded with a wry smile. "Fawke's is now Hermione's familiar"

"But even before all this , Hogwarts had rejected Albus...so how do we decide who will be Headmaster now?" Pomona suddenly squeaked in suprise when her question was quite emphatically answered.

With rather a large yelp and enough brash Scottish expletives to curl even Severus's hair, the headmaster's chair that had appeared for Minerva, suddenly dragged itself, complete with it's occupant, back behind the Headmaster's desk.

Putting a hand on the desk to steady herself after her abrupt relocation , the walls of Hogwarts suddenly hummed as if in pleasure, as moving outward from her palm on the desk, the gaudy coloured fabric that once lined the desk, chair and tapestries...suddenly changed to a rather familiar clan tartan.

With a smirk and chuckle Severus tipped his head to the stoic scotswoman.

"I'd rather say that Hogwarts has already made her decision"


	59. Chapter 59

_"But even before all this , Hogwarts had rejected Albus...so how do we decide who will be Headmaster now?" Pomona suddenly squeaked in surprise when her question was quite emphatically answered._

_With rather a large yelp and enough brash Scottish expletives to curl even Severus's hair, the headmaster's chair that had appeared for Minerva, suddenly dragged itself, complete with it's occupant, back behind the Headmaster's desk._

_Putting a hand on the desk to steady herself after her abrupt relocation , the walls of Hogwarts suddenly hummed as if in pleasure, as moving outward from her palm on the desk, the gaudy coloured fabric that once lined the desk, chair and tapestries...suddenly changed to a rather familiar clan tartan._

_With a smirk and chuckle Severus tipped his head to the stoic scotswoman._

_"I'd rather say that Hogwarts has already made her decision"_

* * *

Minerva was quiet for a moment , her body shaking and her eyes wide and unfocused.

It was clear from the strength of magic in the room , that Hogwarts was binding her to it, as it's mistress.

They all stood quietly in awe, especially when they noticed all the portraits standing and bowing their heads in respect as the Scotswoman was inducted into their ranks by the castle herself.

When the pressure finally lessened in the room , and it became some semblance of normal she sagged back into the chair with a deep sigh of relief.

"Well now that's over, first thing's first"

And with that she turned around and cast a bombarda strong enough to blow up the entire shelf of whizzing contraptions that Dumbledore had always favoured.

When they were blown into so many small pieces , you could practically feel the castle hum in pleasure.

"Bleeding hell woman, what was that all about ?" Severus growled, as Hermione had jumped a mile at the destruction and ducked into his arms, still defensively cradling Fawkes to her chest.

"Sorry, I forgot for a moment that none of ye were privvy to all the information I just got bombarded with" The woman smiled sheepishly.

"What did those things even do, I've always wondered" Pomona added questioningly. " I'd assumed they were linked to the wards " Filius squeaked.

"Nothing, other than make noise and move. That's the whole point, all they did was siphon the magic from Hogwarts herself and store them like some kind of muggle battery to power Albus's fancy toys. Without permission mind. Dreadful really , Hogwarts would happily give any energy the headmaster required for a worthy purpose, but to just steal her magic like that? Rude and selfish" She sniffed haughtily.

"Now, Pomona I'd appreciate it if you could call Kingsley and explain what's happened."

A drawer shot open on the desk and she accioed the bottle from inside.

Firewhiskey.

She put it down on the desk.

"Don't let him drink it all if he's still on the clock dear"

Pomona smiled and her badger patronus was off and on it's way to Shacklebolt.

"Now, Severus , you and Hermione need to come with me. Filius I think you may want to be here for this, to pay your respects"

"Here for what ?" Severus questioned.

And with a stony glance she met the questioning eyes of the people assembled in the office.

"Voldermort has a Horcruxe in the castle."

* * *

They walked as one into the room of requirement , and looked at the ominious piles of teetering junk.

"Can it be summoned ?" Severus asked , already knowing the answer.

"No but..." Minerva began

"... you can hear it " Hermione whispered

"You hear it too? I thought I was the only one , as I'm in tuned with the castle" Minerva asked suddenly

She nodded softly , turning around a few times as if to pinpoint the noise, before she started walking off to her right.

Filius and Severus turned to Minerva with arched eyebrows.

"She's right" The woman added with a chuckle, striding off after the girl.

The men could do naught but follow.

* * *

It didn't take long for them to find what they were looking for , and as they got closer even Severus felt the insidious pull of darkness coming from the item , as it coiled around him like a snake , breathing down his neck , making him angry , afraid and aroused all at the same time, as the sensation seemingly rippled through his skin and centred on his dark mark.

Hermione looked at him in concern , but he placated her with his thoughts , waving off her concern and putting up his barriers so she wouldn't be affected by the negative emotions swirling around him.

When Filius saw the diadem his face suddenly lit up , but quickly dropped in dismay when he realised from the sympathetic looks on the other's faces that this was the cursed item they were looking for , and was doomed to be destroyed like the others before it.

Severus heard it's dark voice whispering, and it made his mark itch.

"There it is. Under Albus's nose all along , if he'd have just been less pig headed and listened to the castle , instead of trying to control her "

Minerva picked up the diadem gingerly , and shuddered as she did so .

"Och, it feels so wrong... I need a shower after this"

She threw the diadem into a small clear patch of floor where it landed with a clang.

"Severus, if you don't mind ?"

Ignoring the unpleasant sensation of ghostly hands and insects running over his skin , he conjured his fiendpatronus.

The flaming wold stalked over to the diadem, with the intent of rending it in two with a bite , when it suddenly froze as Severus did.

Sensing it's approaching demise, the horcrux reacted in self defence.

The hissing and sickening voice broke free and turned it's attentions on the one who sought to destroy it.

Severus.

* * *

He hissed as pain lanced through his arm, worse than any summons and it brought him to his knees in front of the diadem.

He panted in distress at the horrendous words the cursed sould spewed forth at him , that speared through his heart and leached through the mark on his skin like poision.

_She will never love you_

_She is not yours_

He couldn't breathe as his eyes widened and pain ricocheted through him , both from his mark and from the words the vile thing spat at him.

_She deserves better than you_

_You will never be good enough for her_

So caught in it's web was he that he had lost control of his fiendpatronus, and couldn't hear the shouts of the other staff begging him to cancel the spell, to reign in his wolf.

_You are ugly , weak , pathetic_

The heat of his patronus was growing, as the wolf became more and more consumed by fiendfyre.

Fiendfrye, like most dark magic, was in it's on way, sentient. It wanted to grow, burn and consume which is why it was such a difficult spell to contain and why only extremely accomplished wizards could do so. So the more Severus focussed on the Horcrux and the less on his patronus , the more the fiendfyre grew until it snarled viciously and threatened to consume them all.

_You deserve to suffer alone._

* * *

He was barely aware of what was happening, until suddenly the voice disappeared , and the world returned in crystal clarity .

The diadem was still and silent , being held in the maw of his wolf patronus in front of him.

Though he quickly became aware of two things.

The first being that , unlike the languid warmth that surrounded his falming fiendpatronus , this patronus was exuding coolness.  
A cold clean air, like the first snowfall of winter.

And Secondly.

This was not his wolf.

Though it was clearly a timberwolf as his own , the soft eyes were the first giveaway, unlike the hardened gaze of his battle scarred wolf.

He stood on shaky legs.

This wolf was much smaller than his. And nowhere near as long limbed.

Whereas his was like a walking shadow, this was a twinkling and dancing light just like glitter, or sun reflected on snow or ...Hermione's bluebell flames.

Turning he finally took in the other members of the room , Filius and Mienrva were both staring wide eyed between Severus and Hermione , who was stood staring at him, as her other hand cupped fawkes protectively.

The wolf infront of him exuded cold , but it was not a bitter cold that was saddening, but one that was uplifting...and instantly took him back to the childhood glee of building snowmen and having snowball fights.

"Is it... dead?" Minerva asked of the Horcrux held in the wolf's maw.

"No...just frozen" Severus answered , as he took in the hoarfrost that sprouted on the ground around the wolf and that coated the diadem.

Suddenly a soft chuffing attracted their attention , and Severus's fiendpatronus once more under control trotted over to the other smaller wolf.

The smaller, delicate and decidely feminine wolf answered his chuff and lifted her head to meet the much larger male wolf.

They pressed their heads together in greeting, tails wagging , and then the fiendpatronus took hold of the otherside of the diadem in his maw.

The fired heat from Severus's patronus, met the iced cold from Hermione's patronus and the hoarfrost that coated the diadem began to melt into cool and clear water , that dripped along every inch of the length of the diadem before pooling on the floor beneath it.

The diadem turned dark, and black rose upon it's surface as though tarnishing, but then it began to sluice off the diadem with the water, until their was a oily black substance pooled on the floor , not unlike what had coated fawkes.

Now cleansed of all the poisionous remnants , Hermione's patronus took the diadem and stepped back as the pile of acidic blackness was moving towards her , the assembled people recoiled as the blackness moved and writhed on the floor like a leech as it tried to wriggle its way towards the white wolf and the diadem in it's maw.

When it whined in distress , the fiery male growled in anger and snapped it's maw onto the leech , where it sizzled and popped out of existance with a sickening squeal. Curling it's lip as if in distaste at the action it had just performed , the wolf was happily distracted when the female dropped the now clean diadem and proceeded to lick his muzzle clean.

The two patronuses pressed licking kisses to each other's maws, wagging happily and whining excitedly.

One Large. One Small.

One Dark. One Light.

One Male. One Female.

One Fire. One Ice.

Two opposites. Neither complete without the other. Together they were whole.

Pressing their heads together happily , as though pleased at being finally reunited , the two patronuses faded out of existence, their job done for now.

It was a while before anyone spoke , and finally Filius moved forward to collect the diadem.

"It's pristine, it's like new, and there's not a trace of dark magic in it " He squeaked happily.

Severus and Hermione still only had eyes for each other, as Minerva regarded the two of them.

"Come along Filius, these two are clearly tired, I'm sure the castle will provide them a direct door to their chambers..."

Said door materialised as she spoke

"Why don't you tell me some more about the Diadem hmm?"

And she dragged a spluttering Filius out of the room, to leave the two of them in peace.

They both heard what she said, but only snapped their eyes from each other when they heard the boom of the large doors shutting as the two staff members left.

They eyed each other , then the door the room had provided them.

No words were spoken as they moved as one towards their chambers.

When Hermione reached him , her hand stretched out to grasp his , which had already been placed for her to reach.

They walked to their chambers hand in hand.

Any doubts or worries that either held previously, no matter how small , had been destroyed when the two wolf patronus had greeted each other like long lost lovers.

And both Severus and Hermione took comfort in the soul deep knowledge and certainty ,that they had found the other half to their soul.

And that maybe.

Just maybe.

They could win this war, and come out the other side.

As long as they had each other.


	60. Chapter 60

**TRIGGER WARNINGS - NON CON**

* * *

_They walked to their chambers hand in hand._

_Any doubts or worries that either held previously, no matter how small , had been destroyed when the two wolf patronus had greeted each other like long lost lovers._

_And both Severus and Hermione took comfort in the soul deep knowledge and certainty ,that they had found the other half to their soul._

_And that maybe._

_Just maybe._

_They could win this war, and come out the other side._

_As long as they had each other._

* * *

_It seems her brain was trying to focus._

_Whether it was because of her occlumency or just the brain's desperate need to distance her mind from her body so that she can continue to endure, to survive._

_For the spark._

_It was trying to focus on anything other than what has happening between her legs._

_The brute behind her grunting as he pushed himself into her._

_There's a slight rasp to his breath, a wheeze. Bad lungs from years of being exposed to the cold and damp that is Azkaban._

_Her hands were scraped raw, from being pressed against the filthy stone wall._

_She was pushing herself away, trying to stop her stomach from being pressed against the wall, shielding the spark she **knows**  is within._

_It stank of damp, mould and earth._

_Her hands were dirty. Filthier than she could remember them being._

_She looked at her arms and hands and skin covered in grime._

_Her usually pale skin is mottled and mired with blood, filth and other things she does not dwell on._

_As her palms bled freely where she was pressed against the rough stone wall, it dripped to the floor where it pooled at her feet._

_Dark and black, mixed with grime and dirt._

_Dirty Blood._

_Mudblood._

_It's the guard that's on her._

_The one who lashed her._

_She feels the bitter wind from the exposed side of her cell, it whips around her but she barely acknowledges it anymore._

_It's become a part of her life now, like the constant pain and fear._

_His belt, the one that brought her so much pain, makes noise. Metallic clangs against his buttons._

_She must protect the spark._

_This one doesn't like it when she fights._

_Some of them do. She's learnt which._

_Some actually go easier on her if she fights. It gets them off quicker._

_Not this one._

_She does not fight this one._

_Sure to be punished._

_Sure to be lashed._

_So she doesn't fight._

_Just pushes away from the wall when she can, pushes her hand between her belly and the wall when she can't._

_When he's finished he just walks away and for that she's grateful._

_Some punch her, kick her or hurt her._

_Others kiss her and that's so much worse._

_So she's grateful when he walks away silently , leaving her to collapse and talk to her spark._

_She thinks he lingers at the door for a moment, but she can't bring herself to care as she talks to the spark within her._

_She dreams of her baby's cry that night._

_Not knowing that it was the last night she'd carry the spark within her._

* * *

Jerking awake with a gasp she's aware that she's trembling and sweating.

Her skin is clammy and damp as sweat beads on her forehead.

Her hand is clutched to her stomach, forever spark-less and scarred.

She hears Severus wake beside her, gently calling out her name.

_But she can still hear the crying._

It's not until Severus's hand gently strokes her back that she is grounded by his touch.

Brought back to herself and the present.

And as her mind clears she realises it's not crying that she hears.

Or it's not crying in the sense she thought it was.

She remembers the entirety of the day with a groan, the sheer emotional exhaustion of Dumbledore, Fawkes and the poisonous horcrux in the school.

Fawkes is trilling from the side of the bed , where she'd made him a little nest box after introducing him to Crookshanks the night before.

It's a distressed sound, somewhere between a baby's cry and a bird noise.

She realises with Dumbledore gone, and Fawkes as her new familiar,  _she_  is his everything now.

**Mistress, Caregiver,.. _Mother_.**

Her stomach clenches at the thought, low and deep and she is out of bed moving to the box beside her before she realises it.

Fawkes is still tiny, helpless and mostly bald.

Smaller than they've ever known a phoenix after burning.

Even after burning, phoenix are fast growing, self sufficient and independent.

Instead, he's so small it's as if he's just been  _born._

A chick fresh out of the egg, still with the parent phoenixes who bore him.

_Tiny_

_Infant._

_Helpless._

Severus thinks it will take a long time for him to reach maturity again, maybe years even before he'll need to burn again.

To be reborn so fully, shedding the poison of his past life and past master, leaving himself utterly defenceless...it's unprecedented.

She feels his distress through the tentative bond they now share.

Whether it was her dream that caused his distress, or his distress that caused her dream...she does not know.

His head tilts to look at her when she approaches, fat tears drip from dark eyes that are round and unfocused and tiny useless wings flutter when he makes out her form.

_Mother._

She feels it in her bones. hears it in his distress, in his voice.

Once more she feels that clench low in her stomach, and she is picking him up.

Cupping him to her chest, bringing him to bed.

She stands beside the bed, meeting Severus's eye.

He knows what she is asking, no words need to be shared as her tears fall silently down her cheek and mix with Fawkes's.

His arm lifts as he settles back to the bed, and she is snuggling into his side, head pillowed on her chest in relief.

She's put the small chick down the front of her night shirt and he's sat in her bra , pressed up to the warmth of her chest, listening to and being soothed her heartbeat.

Severus arm wraps protectively around them, and he pulls her tight to his side.

A hand comes up and tentatively strokes the small phoenix and ebony eyes meet their match.

There's another sad trill from the bird.

**Master, protector... _father._**

And Severus is pulling them tightly to him, an acknowledgement, an acceptance.

Even the wolf , those base instincts forever at the back of his head.

_Yes. mine. family. protect._

He doesn't share the bond yet that Fawkes has with Hermione, but the beginnings are there, so linked are they.

The three of them.

Each wounded and damaged by the same man.

Each changed irrevocably.

Each brought closer.

Together, they sleep.

_Family._


	61. Chapter 61

_He doesn't share the bond yet that Fawkes has with Hermione, but the beginnings are there, so linked are they._

_The three of them._

_Each wounded and damaged by the same man._

_Each changed irrevocably._

_Each brought closer._

_Together, they sleep._

_Family._

* * *

Hermione was absentmindedly drawing in her sketch pad, whilst reading from a medical textbook as they held an emergency order meeting in the hospital wing.  
She would occasionally stop and chew on the end of her quill, though her eyes would frequently roam over the inhabitants of the room.

Severus knew she was doing her best to remain calm, but the crowded room and the circumstances for their meeting were fraying on her nerves.

Fawkes seemed to have taken a liking to his placing, and was once again sat in her bra, in the middle of her cleavage, soothed by the closeness to her heartbeat.  
He spent most of his time sleeping, but every now and then he would shuffle and Hermione's hand would come up to stroke him and soothe him.

Severus did not make it a habit of stroking the chick, or showing affection as Hermione did, but whenever another person would approach them he would subtly place himself within arms reach , scanning cautious eyes between his mate and the infant Fawkes and whoever dared come close to them.  
More that one person had been scared off by his narrowed eyed glare and menacing frame when they came too close to  _his_  mate and chick.

Dumbledore had been moved to a private room in the hospital wing that was not accessible to the other students, and that was where they were holding the meeting. So others could see the truth for themselves.

In addition a pensive had been set up, so that order members could see memories from those in the castle.

They had all agreed that members of the order had been kept in the dark for too long, different branches unaware of the others actions and full disclosure was the only way forward.

It had been agreed that Voldemort could not find out what had happened to Dumbledore, so instead the students were told he was off on sabbatical, studying something to do with alchemy... while the rumour was pressed around that he had left Hogwarts to focus soley on the war effort, and was working on a secret weapon to bring down Voldemort , they wanted the rumour to get back to voldemort to distract him even further.

Hermione had, with Severus's help, produced a vial of memories that showed some of her time in Azkaban and the interactions with Dumbledore and the other students when she returned to the castle.

It had left her shaking and withdrawn, though he knew it needed to be done. At least now she would not be forced to bring this up again, as all who needed to... could see what they must.

Arthur Weasley had gone to pull Hermione into a fatherly hug, but when she'd flinched back from him he'd dropped to his knees at her feet , grabbing her hands in his and tearfully apologised for his son's actions.  
Molly had apologised too at Arthur's prompting, but Severus could tell she was more torn that Arthur. She could not bring herself to lay blame at the feet of her child.

Certain other members of staff had been brought in.

Sprout and Flitwick were both fully ordained order members, Hooch and Charity Burbage and to the surprise of a few of them, Hermione had insisted on Argus Filtch and a representative from the house elves.

Hermione, still nonverbal around others, left Severus to explain her reasoning.

"Argus has served the castle and it's students for 50 years, but that has led to him having a unique position here"

He went on to tell them the story of Hermione knitting self heating gloves for the old caretaker and was once more met with a roomful of shamed faces, that mirrored his own upon his learning the fact.

"The point being until Miss Granger got here for the most of us, and I apologise for this Argus, but for the most of us Argus as a squib was invisible and not a threat. Most of the witches and wizards in the place do not give him a second thought. That puts him in a powerful position for both finding and distributing information within the castle without being noticed"

Others paused to consider the dour looking man.

"It takes a lot of courage to undertake this type of subterfuge, especially a man who is technically unable to defend himself against people who effectively walk around constantly armed, and I want to take a moment to thank you Argus, both for the thankless work you've done in the castle all these years and for the effort you are making with the war now"

Hermione had put her hand on Argus's arm at that and given him a small smile, he'd puffed his chest out in pride and met Severus's eyes with a determined glare.  
Severus had inclined his head in respect to the man.

"Hogwarts has given me a home when my own family turned me out" The man spoke in his raspy voice "And that girl there showed me more kindness in her time here than anyone ever has before. What was done to her wasn't right and I'll be proud to do what I can to help it and her."

Hermione blushed at the praise and dropped her eyes, but there was still a soft smile on her face.

Severus remembered not long after her return to the castle, when she was still recovering in his rooms and Argus had arrived at his door, with his gloves in his hand and with a bar of honeydukes chocolate for the girl, along with his best wishes.

The decision of what to do next was a difficult one, but with the help of Charity Burbage and Madam Pomfrey, a new choice was made.

Starting in 4th year, all students for the first time ever would be receiving lessons in sex education at Hogwarts.

It had caused no end of blushing faces but they had all agreed, it was necessary and both Minerva and Poppy said it was something that was well overdue.  
Along with the lessons in sex education, Charity would be talking to them about lifestyle choices including orientation and most importantly informed consent.

They had no doubt in the patriarchal magical world it would be a hard fight ahead of them, but times were changing and it was something that couldn't be ignored any longer.

Then it was the issue specifically relating to Mr. Ronald Weasley and Mr. Harry Potter.

Minerva had taken Poppy, the Weasleys, Hermione and Severus to one side.

"I have seen Miss Granger's full memory of the event in question" Minerva spoke clearly to Arthur and Molly "At no point did she encourage Mr. Weasley, nor did she consent to his actions. And Mr Weasley, who's fully aware of the fact that the girl is nonverbal following her ordeal continued with his actions despite not receiving any encouragement or signs that she was a willing participant, I will not lie and say that I think the wizegamot would rule in Hermione's favour if she chose to pursue criminal proceedings but nevertheless his actions in my eyes are ground enough for expulsion at the very least"

Molly was quietly crying but Arthur looked like he wanted to tan the boy's hide.

The scotswoman's expression softened slightly. "I would sincerely like to think that Mr. Weasley's actions were born of ignorance and hormones and not out of true malice" She took in Hermione's withdrawn form and Severus's scowl. "However not just his actions, but his words trouble me."

"What is there to be done headmistress?" Arthur asked, and Severus could see in his visage though he adored his son he truly understood the severity of the boy's actions and would accept her judgement.

"I believe it only fair that Hermione choose what happens from here, and Severus has informed me that she has requested both he and Harry sit through an intensive lecture from poppy and charity about consent and their actions. They will also be shown some of the memories we've seen here today. Then Mr. Weasley will be questioned with veritaserum about his actions once he can no longer say he's uninformed about consent and after he's had time to take it in, the answers he gives will be what determine the further steps taken, if any."

Molly just cried quietly into her handkerchief, but knowing that Ronald was effectively getting away with a slap on the wrist  ** _if_**  he was as innocent as they hoped, Arthur remained silent and then meeting Severus's eyes, knowing full well that as Hermione's suitor, and the last male of the house of Prince, he could officially request a duel of honour on Hermione's behalf...so he nodded to the man out of acknowledgement and thanks.

"Thank you for giving him this chance Severus, Hermione" Arthur spoke calmly.

"Don't get confused Arthur. Were it just the boy, I would have torn him apart by now, it is only my respect for you that is staying my hand." Severus growled, eyes flashing dangerously.

Arthur swallowed nervously."Thank you for your mercy"

"Do not mistake me Arthur" The potions master hissed out. "The boy has no reprieve, it is  _his_   _actions_  alone now that will decide his own fate. Should he repent for his wrongdoings against my  _intended_  I will not touch him, but with all here as my witness, if he remains steadfast I will have my vengeance"

There was a suffocating silence in the room, as all took in the seriousness of the situation.

None of them could deny that Ronald Weasley had wronged Hermione.

None of them could deny that Severus and Hermione were entitled to their vengance.

They all knew it was in the boy's hands now.

Arthur nodded "So be it" and reached out a hand to Severus, who shook it.

"Arthur what are you doing?" Molly screeched. "He's threatening our baby boy?"

Arthur's tone was as level and serious as any of them had heard it.

"Ronald is of age Molly. He's a man grown, babying him will not fix anything. He made his choices and now he must face the repercussions."

The man frowned at his wife.

"I love Ronald, but even I see that what he did was wrong. What if it was Ginerva that had some boy do what Ronald put Hermione through? You would be hexing first and asking questions later, I daresay you would not even grant him the reprieve that Severus has done"

Molly could not answer, only sob into her handkerchief as she knew her husband was right.

Arthur offered him a formal bow. "I am in debt to you, for the courtesy you have shown my son, whatever happens know that you shall not lose my trust nor friendship"

Severus returned the bow, and Arthur decided it would be best to return his overwrought wife to the burrow.

**oOo**

"We now have the issue of Harry Potter" Kingsley spoke smoothly from the edges, and Moody grunted.

"That boy is as pigheaded as his father and as stubborn as his mother ever was, but one thing he never has been is outright cruel, there's something more going on in that boy's head other grief for that curr."

"I agree, Harry may not be the most level headed, but the things he's said to his friends...they're not him" Remus spoke softly.

"Loathe as I am to admit it, I agree with you" Severus spat out the words as though they left a horrid taste in his mouth.

"I've been inside the boy's mind during occlumency lessons. I've seen his feelings and his thoughts, and we..." He gestured to Hermione

"...Have a theory of what is causing this downward spiral of behaviour"

"Let us hear it then Severus" Kingsley spoke in his deep baritone.

"Horcruxes are vile pieces of dark magic. Not only do they break the soul but they  _corrupt,_  they are  _poisonous_ " The syllables were practically hissed from his lips.

"You've seen the impact they had on Dumbledore's already fractured psyche, and the damage they have done to Fawkes" He gestured to the chick in Hermione's care and the bird gave a soft trill.

"You think Mr. Potter is under the influence of a Horcrux?" Moody asked , mechanical eye spinning.

"No."

Severus spoke curtly.

"We believe he is one"


	62. Chapter 62

_"You think Mr. Potter is under the influence of a Horcrux?" Moody asked , mechanical eye spinning._

_"No."_

_Severus spoke curtly._

_"We believe he is one"_

* * *

A shocked silence had permeated the room then, until eventually the room exploded into noise and arguments which continued until an ethereal voice parted the hubbub.

"If Horcruxes are poisonous and corrupting to be around, and Harry is a Horcrux, is that why Ronald is acting the way he is?"

The room was once more awash in silence as they turned to consider the spacey expression of the Lovegood girl who was sat in the corner with Longbottom, both of which had been silent until now.

"It's true that he spends more time with Harry than anyone, and always has done" Neville added.

"It just seems strange you know? I remember when Ronald daren't even hug Hermione"

There were a few contemplative looks around them, Until all eventually turned to Severus and Hermione.

Hermione was wide eyed, having a non verbal conversation with Severus.

The room was silent for a moment, until Severus inclined his head to Hermione then turned to the assembled order.

"Miss Lovegood I believe your idea...has merit"

She smiled serenely at him, and he couldn't help but return it with a quirk of his lip.

"If Fawkes was mature, his tears might have been enough to clear the boy of any residue from being around a Horcrux, though as it is we shall have to resort to  _other_  measures"

A flick of his wand and his patronus lept forth into the room startling most of the order, who'd only  _heard_  of it.

Apart from the Lovegood girl of course, who smiled and 'patted' the fiery patronus on the head.

It was clear from the look on the patronus wolf's face, that had it an eyebrow, it would be raised to match it's masters.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong Severus, but engulfing the boy in fiendfyre, might be a tad overkill, might it not ?" Remus asked in his soft voice.

Severus simply raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Then let us show you the whole picture shall we?"

He nodded to Hermione, and a second later her patronus was bounding into the room leaving a trail of hoarfrost footsteps in it's wake as it trotted forward to greet the other wolf.

 _That_  got the attention of the assembled members.

The next half hour was spent answering numerous questions of the pair of them, all answered by Severus of course, and introducing the wolves to the order.

"There is two more things we have left to discuss" Minerva spoke after sharing a pointed look with Severus.

"We have decided that now Dumbledore is no longer pulling his strings and holding him under an oath of service, that Severus's time as a spy is at an end." There was a hushed silence as all eyes were focused on the Scotswoman.

"Voldemort is insane. That much is clear to any of us. His soul is fractured, and what little is left in his body is so corrupt and tainted there is no semblance of man left in him. He is paranoid to the nth degree, and never trusts any of his death-eaters with any of his plans, which he changes daily. On top of that he is increasingly unstable and rash. The risk / reward factor of Severus continuing to spy on him is ludicrous. Each time he returns to that madman he runs the risk of losing a piece of his body, soul or sanity and all to garner fragments of information from the ravings of a lunatic, who changes his mind more often than his shorts"

"Does you know who wear shorts?" Longbottom asked absently , while Tonks added "I wonder if he's a boxers or briefs guy"

A scowl from Minerva had them both back on focus.

"Severus has more firsthand knowledge of the workings of Voldemort's mind than anyone else living, and is one of the strongest fighters we have. Not only that but he is the head of house for Slytherin. For years Albus has allowed Slytherin house to be bullied and reviled to the point that it produces a slew of angry and bitter children, that become even angrier adults. That is going to stop. Already we have Slytherin students turning towards Severus and even Hermione for friendshop and guidance. Having Severus here, actively and openly fighting for the light, can show most of these children that there are other choices they can make, that despite what has been allowed to go on previously, Slytherin is a house to be proud of, just like any other. We have already learned from Hermione's memories that a number of Voldermort's high ranking followers are beginning to change their colours, there is potential for a number of prominent death-eaters to turn away from him. Even if they do not actively fight for the light , I for one would prefer them to be given sanctuary and allow them to call themselves Switzerland and sit out the war,  than fight for the other side, from Severus's reports and Hermione's discussions in Azkaban a large number of death eaters only follow Voldemort under threat of death"

There were various nods of agreement throughout the room, even Moody inclined his head, much to Severus's surprise.

"Anyone have any concerns ?"

"How do you plan on ensuring the student's safety if you give sanctuary to the turncoats in the castle? You plan on keeping the cuffs on them?" Moody asked in his gruff voice, causing Severus to scowl at him when Hermione shook at the reminder.

"We do not." Minerva sniffed. "We shall not use those archaic measures on anyone who seeks sanctuary at Hogwarts. There will be quarters set up in a section of the dungeons, and they will not be allowed to mingle with any students other than their own kin. Any who request sanctuary shall be questioned with both veritaserum and legillimency to ensure their trustworthiness before being granted asylum. The quarters will also be heavily warded to prevent any spells with dark intent."

Murmured agreements were heard throughout the room.

"But this is not Albus Dumbledore's order anymore" She said, turning to each member "So instead of taking my word for it, we vote, all in favour raise your hand"

It was unanimous.

"Motion passed" Minerva barked.

Hermione pressed a supporting hand to Severus's back , as he perceptibly slumped in relief. A number of The family men were his friends. They had been young, foolish, turned bitter by their upbringing and the blatant hostility shown to Slytherin house. They deserved a chance, just as much as Severus did.

"And now on to our last order of business" Minerva spoke clearly.

"Despite the changes we have made to the order, we need a leader and I...am not that person"

There were a few shocked exclamations at that but Minerva held a hand out to stifle them.

"In the words of a great Muggle historian, 'absolute power, corrupts absolutely', I am not Albus Dumbledore. Good intentions aside, for far too long that man held various positions of power simultaneously. Supreme Mugwump, Order Leader, Headmaster...No. I am the Headmistress of Hogwarts, and proud to be an order member, but I shall not lead us, we must choose another."

A few faces turned to Shacklebolt but he cleared his throat, pre-empting their discussion.

"Likewise...when the order prevails, with the current corruption within the Ministry, it shall need to be reestablished. As chief of the Magical Law enforcement, I shall be the one in line to take up the mantle of Minister for magic...so I must also decline this position"

Once more there was rapid discussion throughout the room until Remus Lupin stepped forward.

A hush fell upon the assembled members as he spoke.

"The best candidate should be the one who has done more for the light than any other, who's willing to put themselves in harms way for the cause" They all considered Lupin's scarred face as he spoke.

"They must be strong and stern, yet fair and can be trusted to make hard decisions that we may not want to accept, after all this is a war we are fighting"

"We do not need someone brave and headstrong" a glance to Minerva 

"We don't need someone who will hold our hand and promise everything will be fine" a glance to Pomona.

"Nor do we need a great mind, who can plan us all the perfect battle plan...  _on paper_ " a glance to Filius.

"We need someone shrewd with cunning and the ambition to win...what we need is a Slytherin" 

There were whispers among them as a small smile lit Lupin's face.

"I vote for Severus Snape"


	63. Chapter 63

_"I vote for Severus Snape"_

* * *

Severus was the new leader of the Order of the Phoenix.

That did not mean he intended to hold them all to oaths of service, the new Order would be a Democracy, meaning that all members were held equal and each got the right to a vote on any subject, but they would look to Severus for leadership and guidance.

After Remus's proposition of Severus for the leadership role, there had been an uproar of complaints, arguments, shouting and when that was ignored, hexes...And that was just from Severus. But in the end they managed to calm him down and he eventually agreed to do it.

Alastor Moody had been the one with the most reservations, his dislike and distrust of Severus's character had been well known up to that point, but when Remus added in a few memories of his own from the 'marauder's days', to show the grizzled old auror, just how appalling Severus's schooldays had been, even he conceded the point that he had misjudged the man.

Minerva however had boxed Remus's ear and castigated him like a small boy when she saw the memories. She'd heard of the bullying that Severus had endured, and Albus had of course subsequently ignored, but it was the first time she'd  _seen_  it herself and she reacted by scolding the ear off the now embarrassed werewolf in front of the entire order. Remus stood ringing his hands and looking at his feet, mumbling apologies to Severus when prompted, like a chastised child.

Severus enjoyed it immensely.

**oOo**

The assembly when Minerva took over had been in a word...unforgettable. When she spoke of the bullying and mistreatment of students within the school, many students, fresh from learning about consent, sat shamefaced. Many had sent apologetic looks to Hermione, sat at the head table with Severus and Poppy.

But when the headmistress of the school, and head of Gryffindor spoke of the injustice and unfairness that was the treatment of Slytherin house...one could have heard a pin drop in the hall. And none were more shocked than the Slytherins themselves.

Minerva instituted a strict 'No bullying and No discrimination policy' in the school, that students could not treat other students or staff differently or harshly for any reason. Be it their house, their blood status, their sexuality...nothing. And if they thought she wasn't serious? They all soon found out just how serious she was when a derogatory comment from Cormac McClaggen, of her own house, found him in detention for the rest of the month and removed from the quidditch team.

After that, Severus had stolen the show. When he'd stood and removed his cloak, the whole school's eyes were on him. When he removed his sleeve and bore the dark mark that many suspected he wore, there was stunned silence in the hall...now that the proof was right in their face, no-one knew what to say.

Severus, with the other heads of house as backup, told the school plainly of his work as a spy and how he was not a true follower of the dark lord, and had not been for almost 20 years. He urged any students not to follow the madman, and this was when Minerva announced the plans that Hogwarts was to offer Sanctuary to any families, fleeing the dark lord himself.

Severus, in front of the entire populace of Hogwarts said  _'Please'_.

 _Please_  do not make the same mistakes I did.  _Please_  do not follow a madman.  _Please_  come to me, to your headmistress, to your head of house.

Between the Heads of House they implored the students as a whole, and not just Slytherin house.

They reinforced the promise that  _'help will always be given at Hogwarts, to those who ask for it'_

The staff could only pray they had done enough. Students were given leeway to access the owlery, and many students shot out and did just that.

That same night Narcissa Malfoy, and Gretchen Goyle arrived to seek sanctuary at Hogwarts, which was granted.

**oOo**

When Hermoine found herself in the Library, her first venture out alone in the school in a long time, fuelled by the urgent need to look for some books for her research, she started to panic slightly at the number of passing students, wondering just why she had the momentary lapse of judgement that told her it was safe for her to go the library. It was then she found that she had acquired two Slytherin bodyguards , who silently flanked her and made sure other students did not distress her or crowd her. One ridiculously tall, and one ridiculously blonde.

Gregory Goyle, and Draco Malfoy.

The boys spoke to her, cautiously and nervously. As though more worried what  _she_  might do or say to _them._  But she offered small smiles and they were both polite enough to only ask yes or no questions that she could answer with a nod or a shake of her head, much to her appreciation.

It was a few hours later, a panicked Severus went looking for Hermione and was met with a sight he never thought he'd see in all his years at Hogwarts.

Two Slytherins, Two Gryffindors, a Ravenclaw and a Hufflepuff. All sat studying together, quietly.

She'd managed to make a  _study group_.

Gregory Goyle was being helped with his Herbology work by Neville Longbottom, the boy it turned out was pretty good but had trouble putting it all on parchment like his father, Neville was using methods Hermione had shown him to help Gregory translate the information he had in his head, to words on the parchment.

Draco Malfoy was helping Hannah Abbot with Arithmancy, and Luna Lovegood was sat with Hermione, reading a book upside down.

.

For the first time that night Severus was summoned...and he didn't answer it.

**oOo**

Hermione was waiting, nervously. She was sat on her and Severus's bed, legs crossed. Crookshanks was purring in her lap, and Fawkes was asleep down the front of her shirt. Harry and Ron were being interviewed by Severus and Shacklebolt. They had sat through their 'education' with Poppy and Charity, and now the two of them were being interviewed with both veritaserum and legillimency.

The older students had their sex education lessons over the past week. Poppy had almost ran out of contraceptives, and Hermione and Severus had to brew more. It seems that one of the reasons witches and wizards tended to have children quite young was the huge amount of misconceptions students had about sex and pregnancy, among them were many students believing they were unable to get pregnant in certain positions. When they learned the truth, there had been a high influx of older students coming to the mediwitch for contraceptive potions...which had always been given free for students if they would only have just  _asked_  for them. There had also been two positive pregnancy tests. One girl was happy, and one was not. After a meeting with her parents and head of house, Severus brewed the required potion for her.

Hermoine had been waiting on tenterhooks, to hear about Ron and Harry. She had continued work on her private project, and was surrounded by her drawings and sketches, books on dark magic, potions, magical marks and healing, but now she could not focus. She had bitten her nails down to the quick, and was rocking on the bed. She was so frustrated, stressed, scared.

She just wanted Severus. She'd had to close off her mind from his, so that he could use legillimency uninterrupted and when she lost the connection it made her feel alone and afraid.

As if summoned by her very thoughts, the man appeared through the door of his chambers, Though when she took him in, skin pale and sweating and the fact that he was being supported by Shacklebolt, her blood turned to ice in her veins, when Severus promptly threw his head back and screamed in agony.


	64. Chapter 64

_She just wanted Severus. She'd had to close off her mind from his, so that he could use legillimency uninterrupted and when she lost the connection it made her feel alone and afraid._

_As if summoned by her very thoughts, the man appeared through the door of his chambers, Though when she took him in, skin pale and sweating and the fact that he was being supported by Shacklebolt, her blood turned to ice in her veins, when Severus promptly threw his head back and screamed in agony._

* * *

Voldemort was using the dark mark to torture Severus.

He'd known it was a risk that he might continue to call for him, and use the pain of the summons as a form of torment... however none of them had known the truly malicious magics that had been imbued into the dark mark.

Though the pain of the Summons was intense, it was fleeting, and even repeated summons could have been tolerated. Severus had assured that he would be able to withstand the pain longer than the dark lord could maintain it.

But this was not a summons.

It seems Voldemort was using the mark as a conduit or channel, and sending crucio like pains through the bond.

Constantly. Without break.

It had been going on for hours now.

This would seem impossible for a man, even one as strong as Voldemort, until they realised what was going on.

Severus's own magic was being drained to fuel the torture.

It was killing him, slowly but surely.

Occasionally Voldemort would stop, for anything from 5 minutes to 45 minutes, enough time for Severus to regain his composure before the torture started once more. Voldemort didn't want to torture him to insanity like Bellatrix had done the Longbottoms. That was why he kept giving him breaks. He wanted him aware and lucid, continuously suffering until he died without the release of insanity to cloud his mind.

The castle was in chaos. Fawke's tears were no good until he was older, Poppy could do nothing, and even curse breaker Bill was unable to break the magic surrounding the mark...because it wasn't a curse. At the time, Severus had taken it willingly.

Hermoine had remained by his side, distraught, until his howls had turned into pained whimpers.

But it was she that had a plan, and as she watched the man she loved break into sweats and trembles as the pain wracked through him, she knew she had to try.

_No. Not try, she would succeed. She had to succeed._

In a moment of his lucidity, she pushed the thought toward him, sharing as much as she could with him until he nodded his ascent and told the order that he consented to whatever she had to do...and then she got to work.

Poppy and Minerva were questioning what she was doing, as she began to gather what she would need, tools and books and other supplies, but she was too overwrought, and she wasn't able to speak to any of them.

Instead, she pushed her research notes to Poppy...the project she'd been working on for herself, that she now planned on using to heal Severus.

Poppy had skimmed through the work, and had given Hermione a contemplative look at the end, as though she was just now realising the extent of the girl's intelligence.

"I don't understand all of this...but from what I do...I truly think that this  _could_  work"

"Then we have to try" Minerva had sniffed, and it was decided.

**oOo**

They bound Severus to the hospital bed, it upset her but she knew it was necessary, the pain earlier had caused him to have a seizure and she needed him to be still as possible for his own sake.

All the present members of the order watched fascinated as she worked, the buzzing noise causing equal amounts fear and curiosity and as his blood began to run there were many panicked exclamations, which had to be calmed by Poppy and Minerva.

They knew the second it began to work, when Severus's body began to still, his tremors ceasing and his breathing becoming more regular , a dawning look of comprehension and relief on his face.

There were gasps of shock as dark tendrils of inky black magic began to spiderweb out from his dark mark and began to  _move._

She continued on determined, letting her magic, her heart and her hands guide her.

When Severus's hand stroked her hair back from her sweat slicked face, she held back a sob of relief and threw herself into her work with dogged determination.

It was working. It had  _worked._

**oOo**

A shaking and shirtless Severus now stood on wobbly legs and looked at his newly bare arm, where the dark mark had once been.

It had been over 5 hours since Hermione began, and he was feeling lighter than he had in years. decades even. As though some great weight had gone from his shoulders and equally from his soul.

The order was gathered around his hospital bed, where Hermione was sleeping the sleep of the exhausted.

There had been a few of them that had been shocked at the scars that marred the potions master's body, from years of brutal service. Usually he would have been apoplectic at the thought of being shirtless in front of them, but now, free of the mark that had plagued him for years... he just couldn't find it in him to care.

"Explain it to us Severus, we saw it but we don't understand it...just how did she make it work ?"

He shook his head in wonder at the sleeping girl, who was cradling Fawkes to her chest.

"Dark magic is in it's own way, and for lack of a better word... sentient. It wants to be noticed...it will always try to consume and expand"

He chuckled and shook his head incredulously but it was Moody that caught on first.

He barked a laugh "She tricked it"

"She did at that" Severus laughed with him.

"But we've tried to cover it up or remove it before, the magical way and it didn't work?" Poppy asked.

"It wouldn't... She used the muggle way of tattooing to draw the dark magic in, to interest it. Unlike the magical way of tattooing which is more like a specialised glamour...Using a muggle tattoo machine causes both pain and blood loss, both of which are necessary elements to dark magic rituals. The tattoo that is left is for want of a better term, a healed injury as far as the body's concerned."

There were looks of understanding from the order, many of whom were unfamiliar with the muggle methods, compared to the painless and easy wizarding ones.

"She chose something large and noticeable as an image to create to temp it, knowing that dark magic would want to become bigger... She didn't try to  _cover up_  or  _remove_  the darkness, instead she tempted it into becoming bigger and more noticeable, and the inherent dark magic in the mark was only too happy to comply, which is why the darkness moved from my arm to the piece that she created, it wanted to be a part of something bigger"

Bill was shaking his head as he picked up what the girl had done.

"But the dark mark isn't just a mark on it's own, there's two parts to it. A permanent mark, and a spell linked to it. And a spell, to create a connection, a channel like that, it needs an anchor. Usually a rune or a symbol, and that's why all the dark marks are the exact same as Voldemort's, to create a connection between them"

"Exactly. " Severus smirked. "The dark magic is still there, and always shall be. But as far as the magic is concerned, it is still fulfilling it's purpose and doing what it's supposed to do... it's a big and permanent mark upon my skin, born of blood and pain. But the link to Voldemort was through the spell, the spell that was anchored to the shape of the dark mark itself, like one would anchor it to a rune... not to the inherent magic of the brand"

"And now that the dark magic is no longer in the shape of the dark mark..." Moody spoke with a smile

"The link to Voldemort is severed" Minerva finished for him with a grin.

"And there would be no way to temp it back into the shape of the dark mark again?" Tonks questioned

"No. Because the dark magic will never be able to be tricked into becoming smaller once again, and the dark marks are all the same shape and size identically, so even if you were to change it to a bigger dark mark, the connection would not work. Hell even if they were to put a new mark on someone, the same method could be used once again and again to make it become a part of the bigger piece"

"She really is the brightest witch of her age isn't she?" Remus spoke softly as he took in the slumbering girl.

Looking down at that black ink that now adorned all of his left pectoral, he smirked as he took in the hauntingly beautiful and tremendously detailed thestral in flight.

"She really is"


	65. Chapter 65

_"She really is the brightest witch of her age isn't she?" Remus spoke softly as he took in the slumbering girl._

_Looking down at that black ink that now adorned all of his left pectoral, he smirked as he took in the hauntingly beautiful and tremendously detailed thestral in flight._

_"She really is"_

* * *

A week of being separated from Harry Potter was all it took to clear the influence of the horcrux from Ronald Weasley.

Harry had been separated from the rest of the students 'for his own safety', and was sharing chambers with Remus Lupin, much to the boy's delight.

After a week Ron was questioned once more under veritaserum, about his actions, to see how different his answers were now that his mind was no longer clouded.

They didn't change much.

He was less angry but he was still a hot headed imbecile, with raging hormones. He admitted that after the course on consent, he recognised now that his actions  _could_  be construed by someone as coercion in the least or attempted rape at the most. Yet under veritaserum, he was forced to admit that he wasn't sorry for his choices, even knowing what he did now. He understood, but he did not agree with it, so felt no guilt over it as he saw nothing wrong with his actions, despite what others may have thought.

He was completely incapable of grasping the severity of his actions, and though Severus wanted to tear the boy apart, something was tickling in the back if his head, that had them floo-ing over a mind specialist from St. Mungos.

They called it 'Arrested Development'. The boy had spent many formative years of his young life, surrounded with the influence of the horcrux. It stopped him developing properly, emotionally and mentally. It's why he acted the way he did.

They tested the other boy who had been physically the closest to Harry. Neville Longbottom. He was shown to have been affected by the Horcrux too, only in a different way.

Once freed from Harry's presence. Longbottom's work had taken a dramatic increase. The boy was improving in all his classes, and showing a confidence that no one had ever seen in him.

Even Seamus Finnegan who also shared a dorm with the boys, hadn't blown up a single cauldron since Harry had been separated from them.

Then came the problem of Harry Potter.

Harry had been inhabiting a part of Voldemort's soul since he was a toddler. It was irrevocably woven into his being, he had existed many years longer with it than without it, and none of them could be sure on the affects on the boy once it was removed, or if he could even survive it's removal.

**oOo**

Voldemort it seemed handed the keys of his own demise to his Death Eaters.

In bribing guards to give preferential treatment to death eaters, he'd allowed them access to owls.

Only...he'd never said it was only his owls they were allowed to receive.

It was this oversight, that saw a certain number of death eaters receive letters baring the Hogwarts crest, written in a familiar feminine script.

It was this oversight that turned a mass breakout...into a mass defection of Voldemort's most senior death eaters.

Death Eaters and criminals were broken out in masses, only for a number to, as soon as they received wands, hex the person that gave it to them and apparate away.

It took time for Voldemort to realise just what had happened, and by that time they were safely ensconced behind the walls of Hogwarts.

Hermione watched as one by one her family men were tested for their motives before being granted sanctuary, some had even gone to retrieve their children or other family members before apparating to Hogwarts, knowing they would quickly become targets for Voldemort.

She saw Avery, with his daughter, the daughter he spoke of that was Hermione's age. She'd been at Beauxbatons, until Avery whisked her away in the dead of night to bring her and his mother here. The same mother who was currently whacking him with a handbag and castigating his ear off with a non stop stream of insults for the 'stupid boy' and the foolish decisions he'd made to put them in this position.

When the senior Goyle was reintroduced to his wife and son, the first thing Gregory (a previous troll student) had done was proudly show the Exceeds Expectations he'd received in herbology, thanks to the help of Hermione's techniques. Goyle had held his son and wife close.

Rabastan and Lucius had been Severus's friends for a number of years, so he said in all honesty that he could not fairly interrogate him, so Kignsley and Filius had done it.

When he'd been cleared, Rabastan had held out a hand for Severus to shake, and much to the amazement of the others, Severus had pulled him into a hug.

Hermione knew why though. She knew how close Severus had been to Rabastan. They'd been best friends in school, him Rabastan and Regulus Black.

Rabastan and Regulus had been lovers, until Regulus's death. Which was why Rabastan had never married, of her 'family men', he was the only one who wasn't a father. All he had in life was his brother, and now he didn't have him either as they both chose their places on opposite sides of the war.

Lucius was the last to be approved. Draco approached his father, and greeted him with a formal bow as was the proper thing to do, according to pureblood etiquette. Lucius dragged the boy into his arms and hugged him so tightly she was surprised he could breathe. Draco was shocked for a moment, unsure what to do, until eventually his arms came to hold onto his father just as tightly as he sobbed into the man's shoulder. Lucius pulled his wife into his arms aswell and only then did he let his own sobs break free.

As they were escorted to the special chambers set aside for those claiming shelter, they learned something that would change the course of the war entirely...Voldemort thought Severus Snape was dead.


	66. Chapter 66

_As they were escorted to the special chambers set aside for those claiming shelter, they learned something that would change the course of the war entirely...Voldemort thought Severus Snape was dead._

* * *

After hours of torture from the Dark Lord, when the connection was finally severed from the mark, Voldemort had assumed that Severus had either died or had taken his own life to escape the pain of continued torture. The vain and egotistical man never considered the fact that the dark mark could have been broken, believing his own magical skills to be infallible. It gave them an advantage, a _huge_  one.

Either unable or unwilling to waste his efforts torturing the defected followers at the same time, instead the Dark Lord focused his ire and one by one, each marked death eater was systematically tortured by Voldemort, starting with those who'd been inner circle. Hermione was thankful at least that all of her family men did not suffer at once, for it pained her to see them enduring the agonies Voldermort sent. The order was also hoping that by doing things this way, hopefully the Dark Lord would continue to believe that the eventual severing of the connection from the man he was torturing, was resulting from the demise of that Death Eater as he had already done with Severus.

As they were tortured, each had their mark broke and was given a new tattoo to replace it by Hermione. They never told her what image they wanted, and she never asked, each went willingly and gratefully with whatever she chose. And just like with Severus's mark, she allowed her heart and her magic to guide her hand and went with whatever inspiration took her. There were no complaints. As all the assembled pure bloods, allowed the muggle-born girl to mark them for life.

Lucius Malfoy, as one of the longest serving death eaters in the inner circle alongside Severus, was the first one that Voldemort chose to torture. It was the the first time Severus had ever seen the man lose his composure. Lucius, being so used to punishments that like Severus himself, usually bared torture and even crucio at times stoically. He stood a supportive sentinel with Narcissa and Draco, after placing a comforting and reassuring hand on Hermione's shoulder. He could only imagine how she must have felt, seeing his own torture like that, if his state had been anything like Lucius's was now. It was paining Severus to watch the man he considered a brother endure the dark lord's tortures, but if he had to see Hermione go through it? It would have driven him mad with grief and despair.

For her own part, Hermione could not help but feel that, misguided though they had been, they really were a family, and they did look out for one another. As all the former death eaters, her family men and their families, all stood in support for their stricken friend. It seemed she'd also been quietly and unquestioningly accepted as one of their own, as she was never short of anything as she worked. One thing could be said about pure-bloods, they always remembered their manners and etiquette, as throughout the hours she spent working on Lucius, one of her family men, usually Rabastan, would come and see if she needed anything; a drink, something to eat or even just to wipe the sweat from her brow as she worked, much to her surprise. They had caught on quickly, never pushing her to speak and only asking yes or no questions. They never touched her either, without her prior consent, not even a pat on the back and for that, the still skittish girl was grateful for their consideration.

5 hours of hard work, and Lucius sat shakily upon the transfigured bed in the hospital wing. Paler than usual, trembling and sweating, but sane and over the worst of it. The piece he had was gaining admiring looks from the surrounding people. On the back of his shoulder draped the elegant form of an albino peacock, tail feathers trailing down his back. Lucius's skin was as pale white as can be, and the dark magic would not have been interested in a barely noticeable white tattoo, so Herminoe had cleverly and skill-fully applied a negative space effect, tattooing a large amount of his shoulder black and using the pale skin of the negative space with no ink, to form the shape of the tattoo, highlighting details with a light silvery grey. It was breathtakingly detailed and extremely eye catching.

Lucius had been quiet for a while when he examined his new artwork, that had replaced both his azkaban number and dark mark. And as he approached Hermione she wasn't quite sure how the man, who was quite well know for his vanity, would react to this very noticeable tattoo. She was surprised though, when he offered her a formal bow, thanked her and kissed the back of her hand.

He also offered to pay her handsomely for her efforts, as both Narcissa and Draco would require her assistance, to which she also declined. Severus translated for her, though it was clear what her meaning was. She didn't do it for compensation, she did it because it was the right thing to do. Because everyone deserved a second chance. Nevertheless, Lucius insisted that she should ever need anything, that the Malfoy's would provide it for her. Slytherins always pay their debts, and there was no doubt that his family owed her many times over.

Hermione had just gone to lay down, tired after her efforts, when to her dismay Draco had keeled over as the pain began to tear through him, causing his father to cradle him to his chest and his mother to begin sobbing. She jumped into action, scourgifying her equipment and starting again.

She was exceedingly thankful she'd spent so much time practising using the tattoo machine in private, before this whole debacle began. As she'd been doing her research project, with the intent of replacing her own Azkaban issued tattoo/brand. She'd bought a muggle tattoo machine, and worked on a charm that would power it, as electricity would not work in the castle. It was fairly simple, the mechanics of it. All it needed was a repetitive motion of the needle, when you got down to it the machine itself wasn't complicated at all, which was why so many muggle prisoners in jail were able to make them out of a needle, a pen and a battery. In fact, she had a better range of motion with her machine, as unlike a muggle artist she was not tethered by a wire to a power supply. No, what had been the most complicated was making the transition from pen and paper, to needle and skin, which had been a huge, and at time frustrating, learning curve. The Hogwarts house elves had been happy to help with that though, providing her with pig skin from the kitchens to practice on, which was as close to human skin as one could get. The ability to scourgify her equipment made life much easier, than the poor muggles who had to autoclave everything to sterilise it, though to be on the safe side she still used a fresh needle for every person, and was thankful she'd had the forethought to buy a box of them.

Draco, unused to such pains had to be restrained, though thankfully it was not long before the boy drifted out of consciousness. Hermione was trembling herself by the time that she finished Draco's work. It had been 10 hours since she started on Lucius, and the girl was exhausted. Draco had been unusually quiet as he looked at the piece that now wrapped around his shoulder. It was his namesake, a dragon. More specifically an Ukranian Ironbelly, that curled around and over his shoulder with talons and wings extended, looking both beautiful and dangerous. It's scales looked almost iridescent, it was a deep iron grey and in many parts the scales were the same steely blue as his eyes.

He'd smiled at her softly, and it was the gentlest look she'd seen on his angular face.  
"Thank You Hermione" he'd said quietly, and she'd given him a tired and grateful smile. Both for his gratitude, and for the use of her name. A small smirk had decorated his face then, when he continued. "And thanks for not making it a ferret or a pygmy puff or something"  
She'd actually let out a small chuckle then, and gone to stand when her legs almost gave out from under her. Severus shot forward and caught her, and Rabastan quickly brought her some juice and something to eat, which she held in shaking hands.

She managed to drink a full glass of juice, and half a sandwich when Narcissa shrieked and crumpled as the pain began to rack through her. She'd steeled herself and scourgified her equipment once more. "You need to rest Hermione, you've been at this for 10 hours already, we can sedate her while you have some sleep" Poppy had stated, but Hermione simply shook her head. She remembered when they'd sedated Severus as he was being tortured. He fell into unconsciousness but even in his sleep was twitching, whimpering and crying as the pain racked through him. Unable to control himself in sleep, he'd also wet himself.

No, looking at the proud and beautiful woman she shook her head, she wouldn't allow that to happen, not if she could prevent it. A quick mental discussion to Severus, had her provided with an invigoration draught, despite his warnings. "It will not replace sleep Hermione, only give you a temporary boost, when it wears off you will be even more exhausted" She simply nodded, and carried on.

She was determined to succeed, as watching the usually calm and collected Narcissa sob and writhe in pain was disturbing her more than even Lucius's screams, as the woman had always seemed so unflappable.

The invigoration draught buzzed through her system, she felt like she'd drank a shot of espresso and followed it up with can of red bull but her eyes still ached and her mind begged for sleep, even as her body felt wired. It was a strange sensation, like she knew that she was tired but the potion, instead of actually giving her energy, just tricked her into feeling like she wasn't tired and allowed her to work through her lethargy.

As a particularly painful spasm rocked through Narcissa, Hermione gritted her teeth and got down to work, if Voldemort kept this up, it was going to be a very long night.


	67. Chapter 67

_As a particularly painful spasm rocked through Narcissa, Hermione gritted her teeth and got down to work, if Voldemort kept this up, it was going to be a very long night._

* * *

A shaking Narcissa was sat on the edge of the bed, sipping the juice she'd been provided as though it held the answer to all her prayers. It had been a long few hours for her, and Hermione who was now up to 15 hours of continual work and was sat beside her, also trembling and drinking as though her life depended on it.

Both looked as though they wished they had something stronger than the orange juice in their grasp.

Narcissa had suffered the torture badly, unused to such treatment. It wasn't just her diplomatic nature, but also that Voldemort tended not to torture the women as much as he did the men, and Narcissa being Lucius's wife and Bellatrix's sister, had very rarely been on the receiving end of his ire.

All this meant that she had struggled the most out of all of them, especially considering the placement of her tattoo. Hermione had thought carefully about what she was going to do, for the only marked female here. She hadn't wanted something large or dark or too masculine, nor did she want something visible.

Hermione had chosen her placement carefully, with two things in mind. The first being that Narcissa would be able to wear even the shortest cut of summer robes and keep it hidden, should she wish too... and as her tattoo was not going to be as large or dark as that of the men's, the position for the tattoo would be more painful than most, to ensure that it gained the magic's interest, which thankfully it had, as Hermione had began to worry her design would not be big or bold enough to work.

On her left side, from her hip and up her ribs, Narcissa was now sporting beautiful artwork of the  _narcissus_  plants. Among them, beautifully detailed daffodils. Along with the Latin names for them in perfect flowing calligraphy. The art was simple but very fine and detailed, it once more reminded Severus of Da Vinci's sketches, or even diagrams for old herbology books, and he wondered just how Hermione had known that Narcissa was a keen herbologist.

It was mature, understated and feminine. Hermione who'd been more worried about this piece, than any other so far, was thrilled when Narcissa dropped a friendly kiss on her cheek and said "I'm most pleased, Thank you Dear" She'd smiled at Severus and he'd smirked back, sensing the tension she'd been carrying as she awaited Narcissa's judgement.

Once more it wasn't long before the next man crumpled under the pain of torture and Hermione was once more forced to put down her juice and abandon her rest, in favour of work. Much to Severus's dismay.

"You cannot continue on like this" He said to her, out-loud and there were murmurs of agreement from the others surrounding. But Hermione simply shook her head and refused to be put off. Fawkes trilled for his mother from his position in Severus's pocket, and was promptly re-seated in his favourite position down Hermione's bra, much to the amusement of the family men. Sensing her duress, her familiar Crookshanks also appeared from nowhere, weaving his was around the assembled wizards, until he found Hermione and flopped down at her feet, in that distinctly feline way. With both Fawkes and Crookshanks close to her, and Severus's presence as he came close as rested his hand upon her shoulder, he felt some of the tension leave her as she began her next piece of work.

Hermione refused to stop working, refused to leave anyone in pain longer than she had to. She was once more forced to imbibe invigoration draught, much to Severus's anger. Severus himself was on the edge, as his eyes narrowed and he growled at anyone who got too close to her. He could sense her flagging strength through their bond, and it awakened the protective instinct of his wolf, so he stood close by her side refusing to budge from his position as he protected his mate and chick. Even Crookshanks, from his position at her feet, hissed out a warning to anyone that came too close to her.

By the time she was finished, it had been over 48 hours of solid, potion's energy fuelled work. Every one of the former death eaters were pleased with the work she'd done, none more so than Rabastan Lestrange. Rabastan had ended up with a rather large chest tattoo of a hyena. When she came out of the sort of trance she went into as she worked, she'd apologised to him through Severus, unsure why exactly her mind had focused on the rather bizarre animal. Rabastan had burst into tears and dragged Hermione into a fierce hug. She'd tensed at first, but found that his touch, like Severus's didn't frighten her, perhaps because in her subconscious mind she knew that he was gay and not a threat to her.

They hadn't been able to get much sense out of the sobbing man until one word became clear, as he shot off his patronus, much to her surprise. Her eyes widened at the madly laughing Hyena that stalked playfully around them, a perfect mirror to the grinning form he now had inked over his heart.

"It was his animagus form, wasn't it? The idiot was always laughing at something" Severus said, though there was nothing harsh in his tone.

"Regulus" Rabastan nodded, still in tears and being soothed by Hermione and a regal Crookshanks, who had deemed the man worthy of petting him.

Hermione realised with lurch just why her subconscious and her magic had guided her to ink the hyena over his chest,  _his heart._

It was  _Regulus Black_ , his patronus, his lost love, his happy thought.

She stroked his back as she hugged him and he cried into her shoulder, profusely thanking her over and over again.

When she was done, Hermione found herself in the rather eye-opening position of being owed life debts by half of the sacred 28. Hermione, through Severus, insisted they owe her nothing for the work, other than to do their best to repent their former actions. She did it because it was the right thing to do, in her belief.

Likewise the Slytherin's were just as insistent, as it was the right thing to do in their belief, as once more she was reminded that slytherin's always pay their debts. The first time it had happened, she was unsure what the feeling was until Severus explained it to her, and now as she sat trembling while Poppy ran diagnostics over her, she marvelled at the heady feeling of the magic of around 15 life debts swirled through her, lending her strength.

As the last of the potion wore off, and Hermione began to sway dangerously Severus's protective instincts kicked fully in and he scooped her into his arms with a growl at the mediwitch that dared come between them. 

"She'll be fine, she just needs rest, food and lots of it , take her back to your rooms and I don't want to see either of you for the next 48 hours... take care of her Severus" 

With barely a grunt of acknowledgement, he turned heel on the room of recovering former death eaters, and made his way to his...to  _their_  chambers.

The others could only watch on in mild amusement and incredulity at the picture they painted.

The austere potions master, growling at any who came too close, carrying the semi-conscious gryffindor girl who had a phonenix chick stuffed down her bra, followed by the regal form of the ginger half kneazle, trotting alone behind with his tail held haughtily in the air.


	68. Chapter 68

_With barely a grunt of acknowledgement, he turned heel on the room of recovering former death eaters, and made his way to his...to their chambers._

_The others could only watch on in mild amusement and incredulity at the picture they painted._

_The austere potions master, growling at any who came too close, carrying the semi-conscious gryffindor girl who had a phonenix chick stuffed down her bra, followed by the regal form of the ginger half kneazle, trotting alone behind with his tail held haughtily in the air._

* * *

He carried her to their chambers, and after waiting a few moments for the haughty form of her familiar to trot through the door after him, he slammed the door shut and warded it ridiculously strongly, then he also warded the floo with a flourish as he walked passed.

The feline, now safely ensconced in their quarters, seemed quite content to leave his mistress in the care of the potion's master, and took his seat in front of the fire, leaving just the three of them. Severus, Hermione and Fawkes.

She was shivering, not quite asleep but not fully awake either. She wasn't cold, but simply exhausted and her muscles trembled with the weariness of keeping her upright. He could feel her mind racing through the bond, as a whimper escaped her. Her strength and magic having deserted her due to severe exhaustion, was giving her flashbacks of her weakened state when she returned from Azkaban, held back by the magic restraining cuffs. She felt helpless, afraid.

He was quick to reassure her, though he couldn't even be sure if he'd spoken the words aloud or just pushed the reassuring thoughts through the bond, so overtaken was he by his instinct to protect. His message was received loud and clear though, as she relaxed into him even further.

_It is temporary. You're just exhausted. You need to eat, and sleep. I am here. I have you. I am strong. I will protect you._

He took her to the bathroom, making his intentions clear as he began to run the large bath. She managed to stand, but she was swaying slightly, almost drunkenly.

Reaching for her robes he made sure he had her consent before he began to disrobe her. When she raised her arms in a endearing, almost childlike way, he hummed in pleasure at the trust she showed him and began to remove her clothes. The outfit she was wearing was marked with blood, ink and the stain and stench of dark magic, so he conjured his patronus to destroy them as he removed them. It would have perhaps been easier to simply vanish the items, but there was something thoroughly pleasing about watching the wolf devour the items. He would need to purchase her some new clothes at this rate.

 _Yes, I will Provide for her. Keep her safe. protect her._ The wolf instincts added into the muddle of his already swirling thoughts.

It was with more than a little shock that he found himself jumping, when he unexpectedly felt her hands upon his chest. Bleary eyed, she was undoing his robes, as he continued to disrobe her. He hadn't intended to join her, he would not presume to take such liberties, but if she wanted his company he would not deny her.

Fawkes was lifted out of her bra carefully, and Hermione smiled as the large and imposing man, cradled the young fawkes and carefully made a comfortable and soft nest for the chick, using his own shirt that he'd removed. From his comfortable and elevated position on the bathroom chair, Fawkes trilled happily, and both Hermione and Severus smiled indulgently.

**oOo**

When Severus turned back to the now naked Hermione, she was still looking dead on her feet, so he approached her and wrapped his arms carefully around her waist. Once he held her firmly, she made a contented sound and allowed her head to fall forwards until she was resting against his chest, and allowed him to support more of her body weight. As she felt the strength of the muscular man beneath her cheek, pleasure rippled through her, at the feeling of being so utterly, safe and protected. Whilst he equally enjoyed the feel of her relaxing against him, the softness of her skin, her trust in him despite his own nakedness, and his ability to care for and protect her.

Breathing in her scent as he buried his face in to her neck, he tightened his arms around her until he had her in a tight hug. She mumbled appreciatively and tilted her neck to allow him better access, she felt him growing firm and aroused against her belly but she was not afraid. Severus would never hurt her.  _Never._

Pulling back from the embrace he sought her eyes for permission, and was once more met with trusting childlike arms that wrapped around his neck. With a rumble of happiness he picked her up and carried her over to the bath, getting in to the tub himself and carrying her with him, so that she was in his lap.

They settled into the warmth of the water, and Hermione allowed herself to relax into Severus's embrace, the warmth of the water and the comforting presence of Severus beside her, lulling her into a light doze.

Severus, remiss of his healing actions the day he'd pulled her from the astronomy tower, used a warm washcloth to gently cleanse her body of the past 48 hours. When he was finished he began to gently shuffle her to the side so he could clean himself, as he'd also not bathed nor slept in over 48 hours due to him being stationed steadfastly by her side. He was running on fumes himself, but he was larger, stronger and more used to running on empty.

She awoke from her light sleep when he moved her, and seeing his actions went to grab the cloth from him. "It's alright-" He began, but she shook him off and began to gently cleanse him in return. His body practically hummed in pleasure as she continued to wash his body with care. He was more than a little surprised, when after a moment's hesitation, she brought the wash cloth gently between his legs as well. As much as he would've loved to explore that avenue further with her, he had no desire to push her further than she was comfortable, despite the inherent pleasure he felt from her actions, and after a moment when she returned to clean his chest, he dropped a soft kiss on her head in affection, which she returned on his pectoral.

When she was done, she dropped the washcloth in the water as though the thing was made of lead, and she was glad to be rid of the weight of it, before she collapsed further onto his body, pillowing her head on his chest.

"Come my love, this is not the best place to sleep, as much as you would wish to"

"But it's so comfy" Her quiet words came murmured against his chest and he smiled as lifted her out of the bath, casting a wandless drying spell over both of them once they were out of it.

He would've liked for her to eat something before they slept, but right now she was more likely to fall face first into her plate than manage it. As he took a step towards the door, he heard a trill from Fawkes and debated what to do. He needed to carry Hermione, she was almost completely asleep in his arms as he carried her bridal style. But Fawkes was trilling from his nest in Severus's shirt, and Severus was worried he might attempt to follow them and fall from the chair before he got a chance to deposit Hermione on the bed and return for the chick. The chick could stumble a few steps on shaky feet on a flat surface, but would definitely risk hurting himself if he fell from the chair. His dilemma was shortly answered though, when the haughty form of Crookshanks trotted into the room as if to see what was the cause of all the commotion from the phoenix chick, that had dared to disturb his slumber.

He took the room in with a regal glare, staring for a moment as he took in the naked form of the potions master, and the equally naked form of his mistress, before being distracted by the excited trill of greeting from the phoenix chick. After levelling Severus a gaze that clearly said "Really old man, you need to plan these things through better" the Slytherin could've sworn the cat actually rolled his eyes at him before trotting over to the phoenix chick, elegantly leaping onto the chair and grasping it his teeth like a kitten, much to the bird's delight, and walking out of the room with it.

 _Well, that's solved that problem._  He thought wryly as he followed the cat into his bedchambers.

When he went into his chambers the cat was seated on one of his pillows that had 'miraculously' fallen to the floor, and was holding the still very gangly looking chick under one paw, as he continued to groom it roughly like a kitten. The bird was putting up a token protest, though Severus could see and sense that he was actually enjoying the attention.

He placed Hermione on the bed, where she instinctively relaxed onto the comforter with a soft murmur. Then looked pointedly at the cat, then at the empty space where his pillow should be and back to the cat again. Crookshanks paused mid grooming, tongue still sticking out as he too looked to the bed, then back to the chick in his paws, before returning his gaze to Severus. This time he was certain that if the cat had eyebrows, one would be arched at him, but once again the message was clear. _"Would you prefer your pillow back, or would you prefer to be alone in the bed with your mate? Because you're not having both Old Sport."_

Severus conceded the point with a grimace and a nod. Pleased at his ill gotten goods, the cat stretched his back legs out, contentedly kneading the feather pillow as he continued grooming the happily trilling chick.

**oOo**

Puffing up his remaining pillow he sank into the bed, still gloriously naked. He breathed out a sigh of pleasure, when Hermione, also gloriously naked, instinctively turned into his embrace. She rested her head on his chest, threw an arm around ribs and slung her leg over his. "Should I put something on?" he rumbled softly into her hair, and she shook her head. "Do you want something to wear?" Once more she shook her head, stifling a yawn into his chest. "All I need is you" She said softly before she allowed the pull of sleep to drag her completely under. He felt his heart swell at her words, and placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head, feeling the tightening of her arms around him in responce. Closing his eyes, he allowed her soothing presence to lull him into sleep, reassured by her steady breathing and the soft purrs coming from the sitting room. 


	69. Chapter 69

_"All I need is you" She said softly before she allowed the pull of sleep to drag her completely under. He felt his heart swell at her words, and placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head, feeling the tightening of her arms around him in responce. Closing his eyes, he allowed her soothing presence to lull him into sleep, reassured by her steady breathing and the soft purrs coming from the sitting room._

* * *

When Severus awoke bleary eyed, a quick tempus charm showed that they'd been asleep for 12 hours straight. Hermione was still out like a light and his eyes were still heavy, as his muscles ached with overuse. It took a moment for him to comprehend the reasoning for his wakefulness, for without a doubt he could with some certainty, place his head back upon the pillow and sleep for another 12 hours without issue. Especially with Hermione's warm and naked form, tucked into his equally naked self.

Though it turned out it was the presence of her familiar, that had been pestering him into wakefulness. He was ready to chastise the cat for disturbing their much needed slumber, when he heard a distressed trilling coming from the living room and realised that Fawkes was calling for his parents. With no small amount of guilt at their lack of attentiveness to the small chick's needs, he rubbed the cats ears in a dual motion of appreciation and apology, and went to retrieve the chick from the 'nest' that Crookshanks had made him in the sitting room, in front of the fire with Severus's purloined pillow.

The chick fluttered his little useless wings in an excited greeting and his trilling became louder and more frantic when he saw the paternal form of the potion's master approaching, and Severus was once more rocked with guilt when he noticed the small tears that escaped the phoenix's eyes. "I'm sorry Fawkes" He soothed "it's alright, I'm here now". Crouching he scooped the chick up, the young bird still small enough to fit in one of his large hands.

He cupped the bird in his hand, stroking his head gently with his thumb and when he reached the bedroom, Hermione was sitting up in the bed blearily rubbing her eyes. "Do you have him?" She asked softly, he voice still roughened by sleep.

"He's here" He answered, and passed the trilling bird to his mother. Unabashed of her nakedness, and still half asleep, Hermione reached for Fawkes and hugged him to her chest. He was soothed by her presence and instantly settled in her arms, resting his head against her heart and closing his eyes as she cooed to him and gently stroked his feathers, the bird cooed back gently and from the sound it made Severus could've sworn the Kneazle was teaching him how to purr.

Raising his arms above his head he stretched out his muscles, until his back popped pleasingly and yawned, before scratching absentmindedly at his chest. Turning his half lidded gaze back to Hermione he saw her admiring him and she turned away with a flush and a small smile, and he returned it with a quirk of his lips. Inordinately pleased at having caught her admiring his form, he decided against dressing and instead rejoined her in the bed, still skyclad as he summoned a house elf from the kitchens.

They were both in desperate need of food, but neither up to anything to heavy so he ordered them a nice beef broth with some fresh buttered rolls. Phoenixes were of course herbivores, and Fawkes in his infancy was on a diet of soft fruits. It was with some warmth he watched Hermione feeding the young chick. The House elf had provided meat for the cat and a number of berries for the chick, and Hermione had reached for those before her own meal. Severus knew there was no point in attempting to argue with her, so he just watched her endearingly as she fed the chick. Hermione laid propped up in the bed, with Fawkes still cradled to her nude chest, taking comfort in her warmth and heartbeat. She would take a piece of fruit and bite it into small pieces, offering each of these to Fawkes who gobbled them up greedily and happily. Every time some juice would run down the birds beak or face, she would smile indulgently and gently wipe it away with her thumb.

Filled with warmth Severus watched them, and absently moved his foot as he did. Crookshanks had settled himself onto the foot of the bed and was rubbing his face against Severus's foot, though he'd deny it if caught, Severus was moving his foot to aid the cat in it's venture. Severus ate his stew as he watched the pair of them, too tired to fully appreciate it's flavour. Wrapped in the warmth and comforting presence of his mother, the food had a soporific affect on Fawkes who settled to roost against her chest. Hermione went to place him in her lap, but the overtired youngster fluttered his displeasure at being moved, so instead Severus bade her to be still.

She looked at him questioningly until he moved closer. Tucking her under his arm and into his side, he placed the bowl of stew on his lap and offered her the spoon. She blushed at being fed such a way, but she also couldn't hide a small smile as she accepted his attentions. "Hunter, Gatherer" she joked softly as she ate the food he was offering her. He snorted in humour, but couldn't deny the pleased feeling that swelled within him at providing food for her. As she'd provided food for their young one, so he would provide for her.

He vanished the bowls back to the kitchen when she was done, and she dropped a soft kiss on his pectoral in thanks, which he returned on the crown of her head. Pulling her closer into his side, he breathed in her scent as his hand ran down the phoenix's back softly.

"I think this one is new" He said, gently twirling a small fluffy feather on the bird's back. "Hmmm" Hermione answered noncommittally, and he looked down at her. She was tucked into his side with Fawkes held safely against her chest, and he breathing was heavy and regular. With a small smile he extinguished the lights and laid back against the bed, pulling her with him.

There was a small protest from Fawkes at the movement, but Severus soon had them settled comfortably. They were both on their sides facing each other, and Hermione was in his arms pressed flush against him from head to toe, with Fawkes snuggled in-between their chests.

He nudged the cat with his foot, to reassure himself of the kneazle's presence and smiled when he was rewarded with a rumbling purr. Taking in the woman and chick in his arms, and the kneazle on his bed he smiled to himself and allowed himself to sleep once more, content with the feeling of his family warm and fed, surrounding him in sleep.


	70. Chapter 70

_Taking in the woman and chick in his arms, and the kneazle on his bed he smiled to himself and allowed himself to sleep once more, content with the feeling of his family warm and fed, surrounding him in sleep._

* * *

For the next 48 hours, as they'd promised Poppy, they didn't leave their bed-quarters other than to use the bathroom. The four of them were a tangled heap in the bedclothes, and each one infinitely thankful for the doting house-elves that provided food when requested, and took it away when they were done. They were both still gloriously nude, and both revelling in the inherent intimacy in the act of sleeping next to each other, bare skin against bare skin.

It was on this, the third morning thus, that Severus found his strength returned enough to be facing his usual morning predicament, only this time he was pressed intimately against the soft skin of Hermione's thigh. It was not unusual for Severus to awake from sleep with his cock hard and aching, due to the presence of Hermione at his side, but he always wore sweat pants or a pair of boxers to bed, and Hermione always had her own night clothes. This was the first time he'd awoken hard, with her naked by his side.

She mumbled in her sleep, something that might've been his name, and pressed closer to him, nose nuzzling into his ribs. He was on his back and she was tucked into his side, one leg slung over his hip. Her soft thigh was pressed firmly against his cock, and he felt a growl rumbling in his chest when her movement allowed him to breath in the scent from her. She mumbled his name again, and it suddenly became apparent just what sort of dream she was having, when a heady scent reached him, that had his cock rapidly turning from interested to determined. His eyes dilated as a moan built in his chest, casting a pleading look to Crookshanks that promised all the salmon he could eat for the rest of the week, the cat gave him a calculating look, before acquiescing to his unsaid request and quietly taking charge of the phoenix chick without waking him, leaving the two alone in the bed.

Hermione's hand was flat on his chest, her small movements as she stirred awake, meant that she was practically petting him and he felt a rumble of pleasure build when her hand brushed through the hair on his chest and against his nipple. His cock jumped against her thigh in responce. She was half awake now, and he tilted her head up to his, meeting her with a soft kiss. She mewled into his mouth as he kissed her awake, and her whole body seemed to tighten against him as her hand clutched at the hair on his chest, and her leg made firmer contact with his cock, the leaking tip leaving smears of sticky precum on her thigh.

He was excited, aroused and oh so determined to make this a pleasant experience for her, if she accepted his attentions. Gently he grabbed her leg that was slung over his hip, and her arm that was on his chest as he eased her over him, until she was laid fully atop him. As much as he would love to pin her into the mattress, he wanted her to be in the dominant position over him, giving her all the control. She opened her eyes then, meeting his burning gaze as he rocked his hips against her, bringing his rock hard flesh in firm contact with her soft thigh, but not pushing it any further than that. Using his nose he nudged her chin up until she was facing him with a soft smile and he pressed his forehead to hers, intermittently dropping soft kisses to her lips.

His hips rocked gently and she practically purred in responce to his soft kisses, and with his hands slipping down to her waist, he began to rock against her more firmly. They kissed languidly, but sometimes they would just press their foreheads together, or she would rub her nose against his in an eskimo kiss. Every now and then he would rub his cheek against hers, a rumble of pleasure in his chest. Throughout their affectionate encounter, his hard cock rocked against the cradle of her thigh and she remained calm and comfortable against him. When he was certain that she was confident and enjoying their play, he nudged her chin up once more until she met his eyes, and then he reached between them to re-position his cock. Her eyes went a little wide, but she lifted her hips just the same to allow him the access between both their legs. Grasping his thick cock in his hand, he palmed it a few times before re-positioning it between her legs, after stroking the blunt head against her clit a few times, which caused her to moan and rock towards him. He situated himself between the slick lips of her cunt, and he moaned as he felt the arousal that he could earlier smell. Much as the last time they'd shared pleasure, he didn't penetrate her, instead just positioning his cock in such a way that they could grind against each other for their mutual satisfaction.

Once she was in the ideal position against him, he reached down and moved his hands from where he held her hips, to cup her luscious bum cheeks, pulling her gently against him and encouraging her hips into a rocking motion. She moaned at the feeling, and followed his instruction as he continued to kiss her. They carried on in this way for a while, until she whimpered a little and pulled back. He instantly froze, worried he'd upset her and his hands released her quickly incase she wanted to move. But thank the gods, she didn't stop, she just sat back a little and changed the angle, hands resting on his chest for support.  _She_  was fucking  _him._ There was still no penetration as they were merely grinding against each other, (If one could apply the word merely to this glorious situation) but she was well and truly in the drivers seat, as he grasped the bed-sheets either side of him for purchase and self control as she worked herself over his cock. "Severus" she panted, she sat back until she was on her knees straddling him, her hands fisted above her head in her own hair as her thighs did all the work.

She looked divine like that, and utterly debauched. "Severus  _please_ " he didn't know what she wanted, though he'd gladly give her anything, until she grabbed his hands and brought them shyly to her chest, faced flushed from mortification at her own actions and unable to meet his gaze, but too far gone into her self pleasure to stop herself.  _She wanted him to fondle her tits? of course he fucking would_. He palmed both of her tits, making sure to frequently brush her nipples and she moaned deep in her throat, and it made his balls jump and his cock twitch. In fact, he decided, he was going to do her one better. Moving his hands to her hips he quickly sat up onto his knees, a hand around her waist keeping her on top and straddling him, but after a quick glance to her for permission he wrapped his lips around her nipple. Her responce was instant, her back arched and her hips sped up as her hands grasped his hair and around his neck and pulled him closer to her. His hips were rocking of their own accord now as they both panted harshly and chased their climax. He was the first to fall over the precipice, when she'd dropped her forehead to his and whimpered headily to him, a hitch in her breath. "Severus, I love you" He'd been unable to hold back. He cried out, fingers digging into her hips as he pulled her flush towards him, and his cock jerked against her.

The feeling of his orgasm, as jerked and pulsed and coated her intimate folds with his seed, triggered her own release and she cried out his name then collapsed into his embrace. No longer able to stay upright, he fell back against the bed, and she went with him, once more prone atop his body. Their bodies were sweat slicked and the room smelled strongly of sex and sweat, and it pleased him greatly. She trembled slightly as her sweat slicked heated skin began to rapidly cool in the chill air of the room. They then both became aware of the sticky mess coating them both from the waist down. 

"Shower?" He asked her and she nodded in responce with a happy smile that warmed his heart and his blood. Inordinately pleased with himself, he heaved out a put upon sigh as he got up from the bed and stretched out his muscles, only to growl and swoop in when Hermione stood, throwing her over his shoulder. She squealed and laughed and he dropped a playful spank on her behind as he carried her into the bathroom. 


	71. Chapter 71

_"Shower?" He asked her and she nodded in responce with a happy smile that warmed his heart and his blood. Inordinately pleased with himself, he heaved out a put upon sigh as he got up from the bed and stretched out his muscles, only to growl and swoop in when Hermione stood, throwing her over his shoulder. She squealed and laughed and he dropped a playful spank on her behind as he carried her into the bathroom._

* * *

It couldn't last forever, as much as they would've liked it to, their self imposed isolation as they shielded themselves from the world in their bedchambers. It couldn't last forever...but  _good gods_  he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

When they reached the bathroom, he didn't put her down until he was in the shower cubicle, and she was still laughing at his antics when her feet touched the ground. Her voice, irrevocably altered from the damage in Azkaban, was husky and it made Severus think of Hollywood Starlets from old black and white movies, cigarette smoke, whisky and sex. Her sultry laugh had his balls aching, and his recently spent cock was attempting to once more wake up and take a look around.

He didn't know if it was the wolf in him, or simply the touch-starved man that was addicted to being close to her. Not just kissing her, and being intimate with her...but just  _touching_  her. He'd discovered that she had a fondness for eskimo kisses, and was always rubbing her nose against his affectionately.  _Lord knows why,_  but it pleased him all the same that she  _wanted_  to show him affection, in any way. Since the awakening of his animagus side, he was constantly pressing his forehead to hers, just to be close to her, which she always accepted with closed eyes and a soft secret smile, one reserved entirely for him, as no matter what they were doing, they paused for a moment and... just...  _stopped_ while he breathed in the scent of her, and basked in her close presence. He was certain he'd felt her breathing deeply and taking in his scent as well, though he didn't know how much of that was wishful thinking.

He loved to nip and nibble at her neck, and she would playfully nip back at his jaw. And that never failed to get a _rise_  out of him. Something that was currently happening, or at least  _trying to_  happen right now as she nibbled playfully at his jaw, while his hands were washing her body. As the hot water beat down on their forms, and he _somewhat reluctantly,_ washed his own scent off her soft thighs, she nipped his shoulder playfully and hugged herself to him. "Later" she said softly with a shy smile, and he smirked at the thought of replacing his scent on her later that night.

She washed him then, he was a lot taller and she rather firmly encouraged him onto his knees in front of her so that she could wash his hair. He went with an arched eyebrow, and she blushed as she realised what her instructions could have been construed as. Not that he would've minded, he'd quite happily get on his knees for her any time she wanted, he couldn't get enough of her scent or her taste, and was itching to sample it again. After the first (and only) time, he was hooked. When her fingers began to massage the shampoo into his hair, his eyes nearly crossed as a blissed-out moan escaped him, arms wrapping around her for purchase. He couldn't ever remember anyone washing his hair for him before, and he practically groaned at the sheer deliciousness of it, as her hands worked his scalp. On his knees in front of her, he buried his face in her chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, holding her close as he tried not to keep moaning in pleasure at her actions... oft failing.

She was blushing when she finished his hair, and shyly encouraged him to stand once more, but the beating of the shower did nothing to disguise the heady scent of her. Averting her eyes slightly when he stood, so as not to stare at the raging predicament he was now sporting, she turned to face the shower spray. He groaned in pleasure at the implicit trust in that action, as she presented her vulnerable back to him, even knowing her was hard and aroused behind her. Gently but firmly he pulled her against him, so his cock was pressed against her ass and her back to his chest. She froze for a moment, but relaxed when his hands buried in her hair to return the favour, as he groomed her in return.

Hermione was doing much less of an admirable job than he did, of keeping her pleasure filled noises at bay, as she moaned and whimpered and arched into his touch when his fingers kneaded into her thick hair. Her luscious little bum was rubbing against him exquisitely, and the noises she was making where going straight to his cock, which twitched against her as his balls ached to spend once more. He was practically panting with exertion when he hastily rinsed her hair off, unable to continue with his ministrations having seriously reached the limits of his self control.

He reached down to grasp his cock and adjust himself, and he was so worked up he almost wept with the need to  _just...keep...going._  She looked over her shoulder at him when he didn't touch her again, and noticed with a soft blush his hand on his cock. "Sorry" he whispered, as he planted his hands on the walls either side of her, trying desperately to reign in his control.

"No." the word was quiet, and soft as she turned in his arms. Her lips met his tentatively and her next words were spoken into the kiss. "Keep going"

A groan broke from his chest, then when she rested both of her hands on his chest and leaned further into the kiss. He really should hold back, but he simply couldn't, especially with the sight of her nude body in front of him, water cascading down her skin, making her look like some sort of river sprite. Slowly, his hand returned to himself and he began to gently stroke himself, almost humming with the pleasure of the act, which was threefold simply because of her presence. It didn't take long for him to build, and when she cautiously put her hand atop of his, he lost it. She hadn't actually touched him, but gods love her she was trying, she was engaging with him and testing her limits and the sheer fact that she trusted him enough to do so, had his heart fit to bursting as well. He came with a loud moan, which was swallowed into their kiss with a humm of pleasure from her. Throughout the encounter, they'd hadn't broken it, pressing their lips to each other softly yet insistently.

oOo

Once they were out of the shower, and dressed for the first time in days, much to both of their reluctance, they knew it was finally time to face the music. It had been over 3 days of seclusion in their rooms, and it was now time to join the real world once more. Hermione was no longer suffering from exhaustion, physical or magical and they had both spent time sleeping, eating, healing and more importantly to them, bonding. The four of them were a sealed unit now, each one of them more content for the time spent reacquainting with each other and establishing just what their part was in this new little family.

Once dressed in his full ensemble, Hermione nervously made her way over to him, a just-fed Fawkes cradled to her chest. Grabbing his coat lapels she pulled him down enough that she could press her forehead against his, and they both closed their eyes as they simply  _were._ Their hands met in between them, supporting and soothing the young chick who trilled happily and Crookshanks weaved between their legs letting out a purr so deep it sounded almost mechanical.

Simultaneously they opened their eyes. Black met Amber, and without a word needing to be said they turned to face the rest of the castle... together.


	72. Chapter 72

**AN: The end is in sight for NTSG, and I imagine it will be over in a handful more chapters. I'm so very sorry for the delay in updates. I've not been very well, emotionally, and it's caused somewhat of a writers block as I've been in quite a dark place, and when my mental state suffers I also get crippling migraines. I want to promise you all, that I would never abandon any of my stories, especially not NTSG, which holds a special place for me. Once again, I'm sorry it's been so long, but I wanted to finally give you something to tide you over.**

* * *

_Once dressed in his full ensemble, Hermione nervously made her way over to him, a just-fed Fawkes cradled to her chest. Grabbing his coat lapels she pulled him down enough that she could press her forehead against his, and they both closed their eyes as they simply were. Their hands met in between them, supporting and soothing the young chick who trilled happily and Crookshanks weaved between their legs letting out a purr so deep it sounded almost mechanical._

_Simultaneously they opened their eyes. Black met Amber, and without a word needing to be said they turned to face the rest of the castle... together._

* * *

They were meeting in the dungeons, kept away from all of the other students.

When they had discovered that Voldemort thought Severus was dead, they had made the decision that even after their seclusion in Snape's quarters, that Severus would not return to teaching, to allow the rumour to spread that he was indeed  _dead_. Staff were going to tell students that professor Snape was "ill" or "indisposed" thus allowing the rumour mill to take hold, and he would be confined to areas of the dungeons away from prying eyes. It was no difficult task for him, for if anyone had such skill that they could move freely around the castle unseen, it was Severus.

Hermione likewise lived her life mostly in seclusion, and the few students with whom she shared her rapport were now indoctorated members of the order like Neville and Luna, or children of the family men, like Draco and Gregory. So in perfect honesty, there was no pressing reason for her to miss anything about the hustle and bustle of the rest of the castle.

Likewise to Severus, all the other former death eaters were similarly secluded, all her family men along with their families taking refuge in the many empty classrooms in the dungeons that the castle, under Minerva's guidance, had been more than happy to convert into living chambers. Upon seeing them, Hermione had made a suggestion to Severus that he had readily conveyed to the Headmistress.

"You're quite right Hermione, Severus." She'd stated. "It is beyond my Ken why Albus could so blatantly bury his head in the sand about the home lives of many students, and refuse them a place to stay during the summer months, instead allowing them to return to whatever dreadful situation from whence they came. As Headmistress of Hogwarts I am well within my legal rights to take on wards of the school, if they are living at home in unsuitable or unsafe conditions...as was he as headmaster. Think of the lives that would have been so different, if such care was offered." It did not escape either of them, that her gaze fell upon both Severus and her as she spoke, for both were students who would've gladly seized the opportunity to remain in the castle, had it been offered. Hermione let a gentling hand rest on Severus's arm as she felt his back tense. Severus's home life had been much worse than hers she knew, the numerous scars on his back testament to the fact, and it didn't take much to imagine how Severus's own life, and subsequent actions could have been altered if he had been removed from the situation of his abusive family home.

**oOo**

The war was moving at full steam, Voldemort unnerved by the disappearance of Dumbledore to "concentrate on the war", along with the "death" of many of his formerly loyal followers, meant that all efforts to reason with Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, were not going well. Twice they had tried different tactics, and twice the resulting fallout had been so bad that they'd had no choice but to obliviate them. It was Hermione who found the words, that changed the course of the war.

It was no secret Voldemort was mad, but there are many ways that people can be mad without ceasing to be devastatingly confident, effective and ruthless. But Voldemort was unhinged, wrong-footed... _paranoid_. And it was that paranoia that was causing him to be sloppy. It was that paranoia, that they were going to make work to their advantage.

Hermoine sat quietly by Severus's side, but there was a steel to her, a resolve that formerly many had thought lost. It was the confidence she found in Severus's presence, in their united front that allowed the spark back into those amber eyes. Fawkes trilled happily from his position down her shirt. His under feathers were now covering the whole of his body, leaving no more bald spots or "chicken skin" as Severus had nicknamed it, much to Hermione's displeasure, though most of the primary feathers were yet to grow in. It left him a small and devastatingly  _blue_  ball of fluff, somewhat remiss of a winged puffskein, that looked like he'd had random feathers jabbed into him like a pincushion. Still unable to do more than toddle a few steps without falling, he was a happy little thing regardless.

The meeting was a full one, to say the least. Chairs were summoned, and house elves were providing food and drink to everyone. Order members, her family men, Hogwarts staff , two centaurs and perhaps the most surprising, a pair of elderly house elves, who all sat and discussed the coming war. It had been a somewhat eye opening experience when Minerva had welcomed Hermione's idea of including the house elves in the war planning. Minerva had always offered a healthy respect for house elves, and had never been one to overwork or under praise them, but it was Hermione who after learning how ill informed her S.P.E.W approach had been, had taken it upon herself to approach the house elves themselves in order to understand more about their culture. So it came to be that the matriarch and patriarch of the Hogwarts elves, both centenarians in their own right, were included in the upcoming discussions of war, and they sat quietly observing the goings on around them.

There were occassional glances thrown their way, which they did their part to ignore. It had been hard for some to accept Severus and Hermione as a unit, and this had been the sticking point that had led to Harry and Ron's obliviation both times over when they attempted to include them in the war planning. The many members of the order, had mixed reservations and quiet grumblings when they were almost  _but not quite_  out of earshot, which Severus and Hermione accepted with good grace. Let them grumble to themselves, as long as they keep the peace. Surprisingly enough, to Hermione at least, the pure-bloods, her family men and their families were the ones who accepted them most readily, despite her heritage. All reservations regarding birth and blood lines had well and truly been stripped away from these families, having seen from experience where bigotry and prejudice could lead, but it was not just her actions that had swayed them. A 20 year age gap was not really frowned upon in wizarding culture, considering that both men and women often lived well into their hundreds. Neither was the student-teacher thing much of an issue, considering she was both consenting and of age, as well as being mentally well above her peers. But what swayed their favour was the affinity they shared. Purebloods, raised in the culture and tradition saw this as irrefutable, and accepted it as such with good grace. To the point that Hermione was almost ashamed at herself for her own predjudices, in blindly assuming that it would be the purebloods that would automatically have an issue with her, when much to her consternation the majority of the order members kicking up a fuss, were those with at least one muggle parent, and she vowed to herself, to be more careful with her assumptions in the future.

The first plan was shared, and after they revealed it, there were explanations to many of the purebloods unfamiliar with many of the elements of it. Once all knew their part to play, it was time to start preparing. "Far be it from me to ever accept that the weasel has said anything of worth" Draco had said, as he looked upon the pair of them. "But he did get one thing right, you're Brilliant...but Scary Granger." Hermione could only smile back, as Fawkes trilled in amusement from his perch in her chest, causing a number of surrounding people to chuckle at the birds antics.

**oOo**

Voldemort felt the wards as they practically sang around him. He had been dozing in the banquet room, in the throne like chair, half asleep and totally exhausted.

One moment he felt something, a twitch at the back of his mind, then it was gone. Not a moment later, thunder broke around him as the wards of the manor failed. No, not failed. Broke. Shattered, fell to pieces and were dragged down around him. The feeling of vulnerability it brought, shocked him out of his seat, and he was up in a in instant as thunder cracks crashed through the room, deafeningly loud. Nagini hissed in displeasure and circled his feet as the lights dissappeared and he was left in pitch darkness.

"Lumos Maxima!"

The bright light from his wand cut through the pitch darkness and illuminated the figures in the room. They surrounded him like spectres. The beaked masks they wore were somewhat akin to the skull of a phoenix, yet frighteningly remiss of plague doctors, terrifying in their own right, as they emerged like ghouls from the surrounding inky black darkness.

"What is this?" Voldemort cried as he wildly spun, taking in the bodies that surrounded him. A feral growl drew his attention, as the figure of a large fire breathing wolf, circled him. It's eyes burned into his and it left embers of fire on the rug as it walked. Suddenly the beast lunged for him and he cast a spell to shield himself, but the wolf passed through him, as unsubstansial as smoke. The wolf's flaming footsteps left small flames flickering on the ground in a circle around him, grotesquely lighting up the unmoving masked figures surrounding him. As he watched, a mask vanished and turned to smoke, leaving the wretched form of Lucuius Malfoy staring at him. "Impossible!" With a violent yell, he summoned mask after mask, destroying them as he did and revealing the angered cadaverous visages of the death eaters below. Their Faces were ghostly white and eyes bloodshot and blackened like corpses, all the while smoke billowed around them in a nightmarish fashion. "Cease this trickery! Finite!" But no matter how many times he cast it, the spectres remained. Even after the embers from the shadow wolf disappeared, the smoke remained. The deathly apparitions did not disappear like a charm would, the hallowed features did not change as there were no glamours in place for him to remove.

"Where are you? Dumbledore? Show yourself!" Voldemort bared his teeth, visibly shaken, though trying not to show it as he turned this way and that, when he realised he was surrounded. "Inferni then? A little dark in tastes for you Albus perhaps, but still no match for me!" Fire roared from the end of his wand, but was repelled when it reached the death eaters, who smiled showing pitch-blackened teeth. It was then he truly began to panic.

 _"Did you think it would be that easy?"_  Whispered around him, repeated over and over again from every corner.  _"Did you think it would be that easy?"_  Until it became a eerie cacophony that filled the opulent hall. That shook him. Truly shook him, everyone knew that inferni were mindless zombies that could not talk, nor cast defensive spells, like shields.

"Did you think it would be that easy?" It was this last voice, from behind him that caused Voldemort to pause. For there was no mistaking the depth of that timber. He froze, eyes wide and mouth open in shock, then he turned slowly, having to look up upon finding a tall and hulking form right behind him. With a visible tremor he reached forward and snatched the mask from the face of the death eater before him, by hand, only to look at it in disbelief and horror when he felt it real and substantial in his hand. Red eyes met black, as the phantom before him smiled viciously, showing jet black teeth and tongue, despite the face that was as green and rotten looking as any corpse. "Did you think it would be that easy...Tom?"

He went to cast Avada, but the spectre was quicker, and the spell hit him in his chest as everything went black.

Startling awake, he found himself much where he remembered he'd been. Sat upon the throne in the middle of the dining hall he jumped to his feet, scanning his surroundings. The room was lit, and everything visible. There were no scorch marks on the floor, no spectres surrounding him. All the evidence of his encounter, missing. And he ran a shaky hand over his face.  _Just a dream._  Though it was then he noticed an object on the floor beside his chair, picking it up with shaking hands he held the single skeletal phoenix mask. It was then he realised that something  _was_  missing.

_Nagini._


	73. Chapter 73

Startling awake, he found himself much where he remembered he'd been. Sat upon the throne in the middle of the dining hall he jumped to his feet, scanning his surroundings. The room was lit, and everything visible. There were no scorch marks on the floor, no spectres surrounding him. All the evidence of his encounter, missing. And he ran a shaky hand over his face. Just a dream. Though it was then he noticed an object on the floor beside his chair, picking it up with shaking hands he held the single skeletal phoenix mask. It was then he realised that something was missing.

Nagini.

It had worked. Spectacularly well. The Dark Lord Voldemort, had been tricked by a muggleborn girl. It was genius really, and many older order members began to look at the quiet young girl from an entirely new light, with an undercurrent of quiet respect.

It was risky, true, but it was also logical. And if there was one thing that Hermione was, it was an absolute master at logic and arithmancy. As shown by her quick completion of Severus's logic puzzle. Her calculations were flawless, the numbers all added up, even Vector confirmed.

Lucius Malfoy was still the master of Malfoy Manor,even if he wasn't in residence. Eons old blood wards would still recognise him as such and he had the ability to come and go at his pleasure and also...tear down every single ward on the property should he so wish. Voldemort had his own wards that was true, but they were layered atop the malfoy's blood wards. So when Lucius took his wards down, Voldemorts would simply crumble, as they were based upon something that was no longer there. In fact, If Voldemort had stopped being so cocky for a moment and thought about it, he would've realised that the blood wards on the manor would've fallen if all the Malfoys were indeed dead.

And as Voldemort already thought they were dead, the last thing he was likely to cast at any 'spectres' would be a spell as physically draining as Avada Kedavra was. Instead he would see it as a trick, or a ploy, which indeed it was. Just not in the way he expected it to be. Already thrown off balance by the destruction of the wards, The unsubstantial fiendpatronus passing through him, would emphasise in his mind that these were simply false images. He would try to cancel the glamours or charms on the death eaters, and when that failed he would become wrong-footed and press an attack, something showy and flashy as was his way. When THAT failed, his paranoia would peak, he would become distracted, and they would strike. It all worked perfectly.

Voldemort tried to cancel the glamours with a finite. It failed. It failed because there were no glamours. Instead, the death eaters had been painted in muggle special effects paint by Hermione. They used charcoal powder to blacken their teeth, and coloured contacts to colour their eyes. Short of casting an aguamenti at their faces to wash it off, no revealing or cancelling spell would remove it because there was no magic to remove.

The smoke that curled around them likewise was no glamour or charm but a battery powered muggle smoke machine. So short of destroying that machine, a spell would not stop the 'illusion' of smoke curling through the air, as there was no illusion or magic behind it...it was real smoke.

The masks were simply made, out of papier-mache bases, and Hermione painted all the details on.

Each death eater there was capable of casting a basic nonverbal shield, times that by the amount of death eaters there it was strong enough to withhold an initial attack, and Severus knew he was quicker than Riddle. Hermione still got shivers thinking of the commanding image of him duelling lockhart on that podium.

Once Voldemort was stunned, it was a case of a quick reparo and scourgify to clean the room of any traces, except one small calling card.

All in all, it took a couple of days to requisition all of the equipment. 12 hours to make all the masks, and 6 hours to paint all the death eaters faces.

And Voldemort's strong-hold came crashing down around him, as his most guarded horcrux and familiar was taken out from under his no-nose.

For the sake of 3 days, one muggleborn girl and some halloween supplies.

oOo

They'd gotten the snake away from him, apparating back to the great hall as Minerva quickly replaced the anti apparition wards once all were accounted for. It had made the most sense to use the great hall in the middle of the night for there were no students to see them, and there were already measures in place to temporarily remove the apparition wards in that small area for when older students had their apparition lessons.

They'd appeared en mass and Hermione was waiting, her wolf patronus pacing nervously around her leaving trails of hoar frost. Severus arrived in the middle, hand grasping the base of the great snakes tail as he did so. The snake as predicted, indignant at being caught turned on her captor but Severus had instantly apparated to beside Hermione. As deputy head of the school, and head of the order, Minerva allowed him the ability to apparate within Hogwarts.

Before the great snake could reach for another, the ice wolf patronus clamped its mouth around the great snake and they all watched in fascination as ice began to radiate outwards, the beast becoming frozen solid in the wolfs jaws. Once the great python now resembled an ice sculpture, the fiendwolf took hold of another part of it, and they watched as a fire burned within the ice.

Nagini was a living thing, and nobody was sure how she would react to the magic that had destroyed the other horcruxes. It was morbidly beautiful to watch as flames danced under the surface of the ice, lighting it up from within. But Severus noted with dawning horror the steam escaping as cracks began to form in the outer ice shell.

"EVERYBODY DOWN!"

Pinning Hermione to the ground below his own body, order members and death eaters alike threw themselves to the ground as after a loud hissing there was a burst of heat and the crystalline sound of shattering ice, like glass hitting the stones.

Though when silence reigned in the hall, and the assembled witches and wizards began to stand once more, there were gasps of shock as horror as laid in the middle of the inky black sludge that was the remnants of the horcrux, was not the dead body of a snake...but the very live body of a woman.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review


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